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hawkeye
Guest
Send me a picture and I’ll let you know
Anyway if you feel guilty then tell it in confession, your conscience must be troubling you
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Anyway if you feel guilty then tell it in confession, your conscience must be troubling you
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Becky58
Guest
Yes, I agree with you, she may have been trying to get attention. I think we all agree that everyone SHOULD dress modestly. But for those who don’t, what are we gonna do - force them? Obviously not, that’s why I am saying, in all Christian charity, look the other way and say a prayer. Gosh, I love these forums!
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darcee
Guest
I have no idea how old the girl in question was… the word “girl” indicates a teenager at most in my mind.
Many teenage girls are completely clueless about how men react to what they wear and if you tell them they get very defensive and say things like “That is just sick… why would anyone be looking at me and thinking those things?” The fact they are showing more then they cover is not taken into consideration
Try shopping in the mall or most stores for a 10 year old girl. It is a nightmare. Everything screams “pleas molest my 10 year old.” The girls are told this is cute and that they are attractive dressed in this manner They are completely clueless.
I wouldn’t say that a girl was sinning because she is dressing the way society tells her to. She honestly is not intending to arouse anyone.
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Many teenage girls are completely clueless about how men react to what they wear and if you tell them they get very defensive and say things like “That is just sick… why would anyone be looking at me and thinking those things?” The fact they are showing more then they cover is not taken into consideration
Try shopping in the mall or most stores for a 10 year old girl. It is a nightmare. Everything screams “pleas molest my 10 year old.” The girls are told this is cute and that they are attractive dressed in this manner They are completely clueless.
I wouldn’t say that a girl was sinning because she is dressing the way society tells her to. She honestly is not intending to arouse anyone.
-D
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St_Veronica
Guest
No of course we can’t force people to dress modestly.
What I took issue with is your comment about the statement that said the sin was the girls. It seemed you were excusing her behavior and saying it was the man’s fault for noticing her immodesty.
SV
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SoulRebel777
Guest
Its really out of control how women dress these days . Girls dressing with tight pants and there thong underwear sticking out. Shirts clued to there chest . Short Skirts etc. Showing of there naval’s .
Why do parents let there kids dress like Sluts is my question
My Theory is there weaklings and have no backbone at all or control of there children and thats truly sad
Why do parents let there kids dress like Sluts is my question
My Theory is there weaklings and have no backbone at all or control of there children and thats truly sad
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Becky58
Guest
No, it was not my intent to excuse her behavior, although we don’t know what her motivation was. My point is simply when a man sees a woman who is immodestly dressed and he has an unwanted reaction to her, he cannot change her behavior, so he should work on his reaction.
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JimO
Guest
As a 44-yr old married man who adores his wife and four kids, can I make a comment? Men are visual and because we are brain damaged in the womb (due to the severing of connections between the two halves of the brain), we have a hard time dealing with physical responses and emotions simultaneously. The way it kind of works is - girl in bikini - man’s eyes - man’s left brain engages - “whoa!” - man’s right brain engages - “oops shouldn’t be thinking this” - man’s conscience engages - “Lord forgive me” - man’s brain disengages and his mouth engages - “So Larry, did you see the Braves last night?”
It’s between the “whoa!” and the “oops” where sin can lurk. If we could engage both hemispheres at once like women do, there’d be no delay and no “whoa!” We’d be better off blind, but since that isn’t practical, it would a very charitable act on the part of women to be more modest.
It’s between the “whoa!” and the “oops” where sin can lurk. If we could engage both hemispheres at once like women do, there’d be no delay and no “whoa!” We’d be better off blind, but since that isn’t practical, it would a very charitable act on the part of women to be more modest.
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Tom
Guest
Yes, and many also know exactly how men react.
So, the next time you see a 15 year old girl, completely naked in the store, remember, she isn’t trying to intice anyone.
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Mateo
Guest
ppcpiolot,
This is something that every man struggles with, even the very first man of the human race. When original sin entered the world (the fall of man) “the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made loincloths for themselves.” (Genesis 3:7) Why did they cover themselves? Because of shame. Adam looked at Eve in a lustful way making her feel the need to cover herself. It’s terrible that women of today do not cover their bodies to maintain modesty and help the purity of men (the same goes the other way as well).
I would recommend anyone and everyone to dig into Pope JPII’s Theology of the Body or Love and Responsibility. Both of these are essential readings for understanding who we are as man and woman. Christopher West has also written similar material on the subject of man and woman, Good News About Sex and Marriage and Theology of the Body Explained. These are much easier readings and they put many of JPII’s teachings into everyday practices.
In a Theology of the Body conference that I attended this past Spring, Christopher West gave a great story for “tube top” situations. It went a little something like this, two priests are walking down the sidewalk talking when one priest sees a scantily dressed prostitute walking toward them. The priest says while turning his head away from her, “Father! Cover your eyes!” But once the prostitute had passed the priest who shouted looked at the other to see tears streaming down his face. The tearful priest said, “poor child of God.”
Now the question is which priest did the right thing. The answer: both. Christopher West and JPII break certain “tube top” or temptive situations into three options. Indulge, Repress, and Redemption. Indulge is to willfully lust over the “tub top” girl and embrace the temptation, which is of course, wrong. Repress is to do what the shouting priest did, turn away from sin and push it away for the time being, which is not conquering sin but still maintaining purity. Redemption is through Christ, where you view lust or sin as a distortion of God’s holiness and find God’s true purpose behind the distortion. With redemption you conquer sin, this is represented in the story by the tearful priest.
So ppcpiolot, from what I can tell you did not indulge in the temptation. It seems like you were going through a series of repressions trying to block out the images from your mind, which as you experienced is hard to fully do. This is where redemption comes into play. We as men need to strive to be more like Jesus and view this world through His redemptive eyes, it’s the only way we can come close to conquering sin. This is hard but it’s a working effort through prayer and practice. Be sure to check out the books mentioned above, they help in understanding how we can achieve redemption within our lives. In the mean time let us pray for eachother’s purity.
Paz de Christo,
Mateo
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gomer_tree
Guest
Mary stated at Fatima in 1917 that immodest fashions woould be coming that would displease the Lord greatly. Why? Because they lead others to sin.
Both people are culpable to a point, but I do believe that anyone who dresses immodestly on purpose is culpable. Listen, we all know that certain swimwear is appropriate for the beach - it is to be expected. That doesn’t mean ALL swimwear should be fair game. It also doesn’t mean that, because it is acceptable at the beach, a woman should wear it walking down the street.
I think I have confessed the sin of not being able to keep my eyes and mind where they need to be every time I go. It is a constant struggle. And I am culpable to the point that I know I need to ignore it and don’t.
But man, nothing is worse than walking up to Communion, and the woman in front of me is wearing a short skirt and somewhat immodest top. I am trying to focus on Christ, and practically need to shut my eyes as I’m walking up.
I hate it when my wife does that. (j/k)
Both people are culpable to a point, but I do believe that anyone who dresses immodestly on purpose is culpable. Listen, we all know that certain swimwear is appropriate for the beach - it is to be expected. That doesn’t mean ALL swimwear should be fair game. It also doesn’t mean that, because it is acceptable at the beach, a woman should wear it walking down the street.
I think I have confessed the sin of not being able to keep my eyes and mind where they need to be every time I go. It is a constant struggle. And I am culpable to the point that I know I need to ignore it and don’t.
But man, nothing is worse than walking up to Communion, and the woman in front of me is wearing a short skirt and somewhat immodest top. I am trying to focus on Christ, and practically need to shut my eyes as I’m walking up.
I hate it when my wife does that.
(j/k)
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JimO
Guest
Does your wife read your posts?
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gomer_tree
Guest
I’m guessing I’ll find out…
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Mateo
Guest
Hey again. I almost forgot. Here are two great prayers from Good News About Sex and Marriage by Christopher West. They’re great for times of temptation. Hope this helps.
Paz de Christo
Mateo
A Prayer for Purity of Heart
Lord, you have created me in your image and likeness as a man [woman]. Help me to accept and receive my sexuality as a gift from you. You have inscribed in my very being, in my sexuality, the call to love as you love, in sincere self-giving, and you have made the “one flesh” union of man and woman in marriage a sign of your own life and love in the world. Grant me the grace always to resist the many lies that continually assail the truth and meaning of this great gift of sexuality. Grant me purity of heart so that I might see the image of your glory in the beauty of others, and one day see you face to face. Amen.
A Prayer in a Moment of Temptation to Lust
This is a woman [man] made in the image and likeness of God, never to be looked upon as an object for my gratification. Lord Jesus, grant me the grace to see the image of your glory in the beauty of this woman [man], and order my sexual desires toward the truth of love. I renounce and tendency within me to use others for my own pleasure, and unite my sufferings with yours on the cross. Amen.
Paz de Christo
Mateo
A Prayer for Purity of Heart
Lord, you have created me in your image and likeness as a man [woman]. Help me to accept and receive my sexuality as a gift from you. You have inscribed in my very being, in my sexuality, the call to love as you love, in sincere self-giving, and you have made the “one flesh” union of man and woman in marriage a sign of your own life and love in the world. Grant me the grace always to resist the many lies that continually assail the truth and meaning of this great gift of sexuality. Grant me purity of heart so that I might see the image of your glory in the beauty of others, and one day see you face to face. Amen.
A Prayer in a Moment of Temptation to Lust
This is a woman [man] made in the image and likeness of God, never to be looked upon as an object for my gratification. Lord Jesus, grant me the grace to see the image of your glory in the beauty of this woman [man], and order my sexual desires toward the truth of love. I renounce and tendency within me to use others for my own pleasure, and unite my sufferings with yours on the cross. Amen.
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ppcpilot
Guest
The tube top was bright florescent green, if that helps…I don’t blame the girl at all; it’s up to me to look at women as sisters no matter what they are wearing. She was with a boyfriend type, I think anyway.
Anywho, glad to know what I did was on the right track.
Anywho, glad to know what I did was on the right track.
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MMC
Guest
My thinking is, when getting dressed, if this is not an outfit I’d like for a woman to wear around my husband, it’s not the outfit I’m going to wear around someone else’s husband!
“Do unto others…”
As for purity and modesty, everyone has a part to play–men AND women.
What may help, when encountering immodestly dressed women, definitely look away (or walk away), then try to “picture” their soul and how much it means to God. Then say a silent prayer that they will live up to God’s expectations for them.
What works for me ( and yes, women are tempted to evil thoughts, too ). I try to relate to every man I see as my brother. (I think the bible recommends this). That thinking kind of dampens the fire.
Maybe you could’ve imagined that girl as your daughter–then I bet you would’ve ran over and handed her a robe!
Peace! Marci
“Do unto others…”
As for purity and modesty, everyone has a part to play–men AND women.
What may help, when encountering immodestly dressed women, definitely look away (or walk away), then try to “picture” their soul and how much it means to God. Then say a silent prayer that they will live up to God’s expectations for them.
What works for me ( and yes, women are tempted to evil thoughts, too ). I try to relate to every man I see as my brother. (I think the bible recommends this). That thinking kind of dampens the fire.
Maybe you could’ve imagined that girl as your daughter–then I bet you would’ve ran over and handed her a robe!
Peace! Marci
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DrCat
Guest
Definitely. I teach third and fourth year college students in the tropics - imagine how* they* dress. Right now my class consists of 22 girls and 4 boys. The confessional, the eucharist, and the Rosary have definitely helped me to combat unchaste thoughts. When I found I was having more problems, I upped my confessions from monthly to twice monthly.
It definitely helps.
John
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JesusIsTheWay
Guest
Jesus said:
In Matthew 5:27-28
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
I would say guilty…
Now the good news:
Ask for forgiveness, repent, and you shall receive…
In Matthew 5:27-28
Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
I would say guilty…
Now the good news:
Ask for forgiveness, repent, and you shall receive…
M
Matt16_18
Guest
Look at the way we use language. Women want what they wear to be “attractive” or they won’t wear it.
What are women trying to attract?
What are women trying to attract?
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THOMAS_JOSHUA
Guest
When I see a gorgeous young lady, I praise the
Lord for the great job He did in designing her and
I ask the Lord to save her soul.
Lord for the great job He did in designing her and
I ask the Lord to save her soul.
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dream_wanderer
Guest
Some young women are just so naive about the way they dress its just not funny. 
Some women dress for other women believe it or not. I don’t mean in a lesabian kind of way but in a way that will receive compliments from the girl friends. Women like that dress to ‘fit in’ with their friends. If they all wear a certain thing or dress in a certain style…so will she. Its part of the herd mentality.
I know this might come as a blow to some people…but sometimes men have nothing to do with it. Some women put on their business clothes and do their hair and put on their make-up to go to the office and they consider it as part of their ‘uniform’. The last thing they want to do is to attract a man but rather to look professional. The same way a man might think of wearing a coat and tie for instance.
Some women dress for other women believe it or not. I don’t mean in a lesabian kind of way but in a way that will receive compliments from the girl friends. Women like that dress to ‘fit in’ with their friends. If they all wear a certain thing or dress in a certain style…so will she. Its part of the herd mentality.
I know this might come as a blow to some people…but sometimes men have nothing to do with it. Some women put on their business clothes and do their hair and put on their make-up to go to the office and they consider it as part of their ‘uniform’. The last thing they want to do is to attract a man but rather to look professional. The same way a man might think of wearing a coat and tie for instance.
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