pretty girl...

[St_Veronica]

dream wanderer:

Some young women are just so naive about the way they dress its just not funny.

Some women dress for other women believe it or not. I don’t mean in a lesabian kind of way but in a way that will receive compliments from the girl friends. Women like that dress to ‘fit in’ with their friends. If they all wear a certain thing or dress in a certain style…so will she. Its part of the herd mentality.

I know this might come as a blow to some people…but sometimes men have nothing to do with it. Some women put on their business clothes and do their hair and put on their make-up to go to the office and they consider it as part of their ‘uniform’. The last thing they want to do is to attract a man but rather to look professional. The same way a man might think of wearing a coat and tie for instance.

But we aren’t talking about professional dress and doing makeup in order to go be a professional at our job, and look appropriate in the workplace.

Unless you think wearing a green tube top with short shorts is office attire!!

SV

 

[misericordie]

This is a struggle for me too. I have been in a battle with trying to have custody of the eyes, since I was a kid. I really wished I was very, very, very, pure, but it is so difficult. Especially seing so many immodest dressed women in the Summer time especially. This is a true cross for me.

I wonder what saint Paul's "thorn in his side" was?  He seemed to be struggling with some weakness?

Anyway, the Blessed Mother and the Rosary are very important in one’s struggle for purity of mind and action.

 

[Matt16_18]

dream wanderer

When women that a dress is attractive, what is it that the dress is designed to attract?

 

[dream_wanderer]

St Veronica:

But we aren’t talking about professional dress and doing makeup in order to go be a professional at our job, and look appropriate in the workplace.

Unless you think wearing a green tube top with short shorts is office attire!!

SV

I was speaking as to the many reasons some women dress the way they do. Some do dress just to attract men, some want to fit into the group whether it be their peers or look appropriate for their job. I just saw a bunch of goth kids the other day. The dress in black, do stuff to your face, color your hair weird and wear bizarre make-up look as ugly as possible kind of club. Girls as well as the boys. Now maybe those particular girls are trying to attract goth boys…I don’t know…

Sometimes I wear a pretty dress or whatever because it makes me feel good. I’ve lost a lot of weight, I’m glad I can fit into these clothes again. If a man thinks it looks good that’s fine but that’s not why I’m doing it. If I wear a young single woman again and if there were a PARTICULAR young man I wanted to impress I might dress a certain way (but not slutty…I was never into that) and take extra care but I really wouldn’t care what the male population at large thought…That’s just me and my experience though. Now there are women out there whose self esteem is so low they must have that kind of attention to feel affirmed and feel good about themselves… and if that’s the case such young women need lots and lots of prayer.

And then there are young women who are just naive. No one has ever told them any different and they just blindly dress any which way not knowing about the consequences which is horribly sad in my humble opinon.

dream wanderer

 

[Matt16_18]

dream wanderer

• If I were a young single woman again and if there were a PARTICULAR young man I wanted to impress I might dress a certain way (but not slutty…I was never into that) and take extra care but I really wouldn’t care what the male population at large thought…That’s just me and my experience though.*

I think that this is a common way of thinking among women. A single girl gets dressed up in an “attractive” way because she wants to impress a certain man. Or perhaps, she hasn’t yet met that special man yet, but she wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity of catching his eye if she met him in a chance encounter in public.

The problem is that women are trying to attract the attention of just one special person, but her clothes are having the effect of attracting attention from more men than she may wish. It used to amaze me when women would dress a certain way, and then act genuinely surprised that they were getting attention from men that they didn’t like. Look at it from the man’s POV, he sees that the woman has dressed in a certain way because she wants to draw attention to herself, and then he is mystified as to why she is upset that she has drawn attention to herself by the clothes she chose to wear in public.

 

[pnewton]

Guys don’t always need all that much immodesty to have struggle with lust. A pretty girl modestly dressed can be a source of stumbling.

If you do not have a campsite next to a confessional, try keeping a thorn bush handy.

 

[wisdom_3_5]

I also think that a young girl can feel a sense of power over men in that way. Not that she’s interested in doing anything with them, she just is aware of their weakness & exploits it because it makes her feel good. Sometimes its done sub-consciencely ie: When a guy looks at me; I feel good. In any case, its hard to say what the intent is unless you know the exact circumstance.

 

[bengal_fan]

Kat24:

Just a side note: Not that it has any bearing on the conversation the ossuary I think you are talking about was proven fake.

actually, no it wasn’t. it is still being investigated but everyone so far is saying that it looks authentic. that is why catholic answers did an article on it a few months ago and it is still being talked about. just to let you know, not trying to start another thread

 

[Matt16_18]

In any case, its hard to say what the intent is unless you know the exact circumstance.

The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately corrupt;
who can understand it?
Jer. 17:9

 

[dream_wanderer]

Matt16_18:

The problem is that women are trying to attract the attention of just one special person, but her clothes are having the effect of attracting attention from more men than she may wish. It used to amaze me when women would dress a certain way, and then act genuinely surprised that they were getting attention from men that they didn’t like. Look at it from the man’s POV, he sees that the woman has dressed in a certain way because she wants to draw attention to herself, and then he is mystified as to why she is upset that she has drawn attention to herself by the clothes she chose to wear in public.

Yes…and there is no way for the men in the room to know she only wants the attention of one particular man…and when they misinterpret the signals she gets annoyed. Its one of those ‘men are from mars-women are from venus’ situations.

dream wanderer

 

[Matt16_18]

Its one of those ‘men are from mars-women are from venus’ situations.

Or one of those nasty consequences of original sin …

 

[Matt16_18]

dream wanderer

Did you ever wonder why men’s clothes got to be so boring? In the last presidential election debate, both Bore and Gush dressed exactly the same way - dark blue suit, white shirt, and red tie. They looked like the Bobsy twins in their attempts to appear “presidential” (which was appropriate in a way, because I thought that they really were just tweedledee and tweedledumb).

I thought it would have been interesting to have the candidate from the Constitutional Party show up for the debates dressed in shoes with silver buckles, a silk waist coat, and a powdered wig – a Washington-Jefferson kinda presidential look so to speak …

Men used to be able to dress like peacocks once upon a time.

 

[Pro_Iesu]

My youth minister said this once:

Look once shame on her
Look twice shame on you.:tsktsk:

I think that takes care of the Lusting part and being a guy you can also say the same about guys dressing immodestly too.(not that i do that but it happens.)

I suffer from the same thing and who knows my being young it could also have an extra kick with them hormones:whacky:

I like to pray about it and go to confession and give these thoughts which are such a burden to Christ for whatever intention I like to use it for abortions or those in purgatory.

and the James brother etc Is pretty much false cuz there was no word for cousin or close friend so they called them brothers. And a contemporary view would be when two best friends hang out and they become spit brothers etc they see themselves as brothers James and Jesus were kinda like that minus the spit.

Pray for those who dress that way and the people who make the stuff and I’ll pray for ya!

Peace and God Bless

 

[buffalo]

Pro Iesu:

and the James brother etc Is pretty much false cuz there was no word for cousin or close friend so they called them brothers. And a contemporary view would be when two best friends hang out and they become spit brothers etc they see themselves as brothers James and Jesus were kinda like that minus the spit.

It was proven that there were two different styles of writings made at different times - a forgery.

 

[Black_Jaque]

It doesn’t sound like you sinned. But you better take this seriously! You came darn close.

The evil one is shifty. He lures guys into it by convincing them that they can’t help themselves. He lures women into it by convincing them that “I’m not doing it to impress guys”.

The visual sexual stimulus in men is an objective fact. It doesn’t matter “why” the woman is dressed the way she is. The fact that she IS dressed immodestly means she WILL stimulate men.

It’s sort of like shooting a gun. I may have been aiming at a squirrel, but if I shoot someone standing by, it’s still my fault. It’s an objective fact that a bullet will kill someone - whether I wanted it to or not. I would have to be completely STUPID not to realize that a gun needs to be handled with care, and only employed when the conditions are safe.

I would also have to question the intelligence of anyone who thinks that this is a choice between tube tops and burkas. There is a whole lot of in-between there.

We don’t need to pass laws yet. However taking issue with a statement as innocuous as “the sin is the girl’s” is off mark. What we should be doing is informing young women that “the sin is the girls’”. That’s far less restrictive than passing laws.

Likewise, men need to stop encouraging other men to “look”. I see other men point out to each other scantily clad women all the time. This should be discouraged.

 

[karisue]

darcee:

I have no idea how old the girl in question was… the word “girl” indicates a teenager at most in my mind.
Many teenage girls are completely clueless about how men react to what they wear and if you tell them they get very defensive and say things like “That is just sick… why would anyone be looking at me and thinking those things?” The fact they are showing more then they cover is not taken into consideration

I wouldn’t say that a girl was sinning because she is dressing the way society tells her to. She honestly is not intending to arouse anyone.

I dunno … it wasn’t that long ago that I was making wardrobe choices based on how others, particularly men, would react. Short skirts, tight shirts, etc., are the norm for the bar scene – it seems that this standards has cascaded down to the grammar school level.

I daresay as a former single young female (NB I am no longer single nor young) that all girls are well aware that their dress draws the attention of men. The girl probably didn’t intend to draw the attention of the [older] married man, but rather, her male peers. I’d also gamble that she wanted to show off her figure to anyone who would look. Again, I speak from experience.

Scanty clothing, IMO, is a sign of low self esteem.

 

[Gryphon]

bengal_fan:

i know this isn’t the subject of this thread and i’m not trying to start an argument, but…

i thought it was known that joseph had other children with another wife so he couldn’t have been chaste. he might not have ever been with mary, but he definitely had other children (see the ossuary of “james, son of joseph, brother of jesus”). …"

Hmmm… it sounds like you’ve been taking the word of the secular media (or the evangelical fundamentalists) about the meaning of the ossuary inscription. There is absolutely no need to re-interpret Tradition to account for their theories. Just one “for instance”: in ancient Hebrew, “brother of Jesus” could just as easily mean “cousin of Jesus.”

So, James doesn’t have to be a son of Joseph, Mary’s “most chaste spouse” - he could easily be what the Church has always said he was: a very close relative. A back-issue of “This Rock” took the “ossuary issue” (say that three times real fast! ) on very well… wish I could remember which one!

God bless,

Ann

 

[Paul_Danon]

ppcpilot:

Ok…so I was at the grocery store yesterday and this really pretty girl was there wearing a tube top and short shorts. After I saw her, an image of her nude kept popping into my head. I am married. Have I committed a mortal sin by having that image? I didn’t act out on it.

This is allowed but sedevacantism isn’t?

 

[Les_Richardson]

Paul Danon:

This is allowed but sedevacantism isn’t?

Much less contentious.

Hey, a scantily clad girl is one thing. A couple of years ago, I walked out of variety store here in Ontario, Canada one day just as a topless college age girl was walking in. I had to step aside to let her go by.

I looked her in the eye, tipped my hat, and said “Ma’am”.

This was just after a supreme court ruling that permitted toplessness in certain circumstances and places. This girl no doubt was making a political statement, because it wasn’t a hot day or anything like that.

Truthfully, I was so surprised there was no question of lewd thoughts. By the time I got home and told my wife about it, (her reaction was disgust) I was laughing and shaking my head in disbelief.

Some girls don’t know, likely because they haven’t been told, what effect their appearance has on men. I think it was Grade 8, back in the sixties when short skirts were getting shorter and shorter, a girl I knew from some of my classes got particularly bold, until one day one of the female teachers sat her down on a chair in front of a full-length mirror. After she twisted and squirmed for about 15 minutes trying to pull the hem down she had the message.

 

[Quisp]

ppcpilot:

Ok…so I was at the grocery store yesterday and this really pretty girl was there wearing a tube top and short shorts. After I saw her, an image of her nude kept popping into my head. I am married. Have I committed a mortal sin by having that image? I didn’t act out on it.

The attraction, in of itself, is not sinful. This is concupiscence. It’s what we do with those feelings that can get us into trouble. When a similar situation happens to me, I pray for the girl. I ask the Lord to make her a good Catholic.

God Bless.