Priest Calls out Vigilantes in bulletin

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Why do I mention this during this festive season? Because we continue to have issues with a few people who take it upon themselves to secretly correct others on the way they dress or behave. Though there is a time and a place for fraternal correction, the way it is being done here is uncharitable, completely out of place and destructive of the parish. If someone approaches you or your children about the way you or your loved ones dress or you hear of someone doing this, please let me know so I can deal with these vigilantes.
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This is what I was referring to, but you say he has bigger fish to fry...
 
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StephieNorthCo said:
It took perhaps a month before one of the (few) vigilantes “fraternally corrected” her on how she was taking communion, and undid 5 years of work with one sentence.
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I call these people the “back pew mafia”
 
Loud-living-dogma said:
This is what I was referring to, but you say he has bigger fish to fry…
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Ok! I’m so out of it. Disoriented even! I see what you mean. Maybe he means the time and place is between people who already have a good working relationship. Maybe they will have some homilies on appropriate fraternal correction. I’ll ask my friend whose parish it is.
 
I suddenly get this image of the church lady from Saturday Night Live with a disapproving expression and permanently pursed lips saying,

“Hmmm, could it be Satan?”
 
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The funny thing is that ALL denominations / religions have a “back pew mafia.” It’s not just Catholics, but it often seems like we are the only ones people think have such “vigilantes”
 
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Good for the priest. It’s between them and God (the pastor could perhaps say something if he gets to know them well).

“Get the log out of your own eye.”
 
Yes, and sometimes it’s hard not to feel annoyed. At Christmas Eve Mass, there was a teen girl there dressed in crop top and leggings (several inches of stomach showing). She approached the altar and took Communion. Then there was the mother who was ushering at my Church growing up in short shorts and spaghetti straps in the Summer. These seem so inappropriate, it seems like it should be obvious. Still, it’s not my place to talk to them about it. I don’t know them well enough to have a discussion and be effective. It might turn them away. Perhaps, being there will plant a seed that eventually flourishes.
 
And for goodness’s sake let doubtful things go! We have had so many arguments here over shoulers and kneecaps…
 
Wouldn’t it be better if priests (everywhere) just once a month, routinely, put a note in the bulletin saying something like “Please show respect for God, yourself, and others in church by dressing suitably. Common sense would indicate that shoulders, armpits, knees, and everything in between would be clothed. Thank you.”

Wouldn’t that be doing a service to these poor people who simply don’t seem to know any better? It’s not singling anyone out, it refers to men and women, all ages.
I know that for some reason this would be horrendously offensive to many though! Cue the wailing on CAF: now.
 
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Loud-living-dogma said:
Wouldn’t it be better if priests (everywhere) just once a month, routinely, put a note in the bulletin saying something like “Please show respect for God, yourself, and others in church by dressing suitably. Common sense would indicate that shoulders, armpits, knees, and everything in between would be clothed. Thank you.”

Wouldn’t that be doing a service to these poor people who simply don’t seem to know any better? It’s not singling anyone out, it refers to men and women, all ages.
I know that for some reason this would be horrendously offensive to many though! Cue the wailing on CAF: now.
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I believe some priest have done this when things get bad. I believe I read on here once about a priest in Florida putting signs up in the parish because people were essentially arriving in beach wear.
 
I’ve seen a smiley little stick figure diagram half dressed in good choices and half dressed in less appropriote choices as a guide for EMHCs and Lectors. It is generally stuck somewhere that the general public can take the hint too. But that wouldn’t work for places where you have neither.
 
Here’s how one Latina mom and blogger puts it (I think others use this standard too). Too bad all children have not had her wisdom guiding them as they grow up!!
**Head** : put your arms over your head and see if your tummy shows (appropriate clothing doesn’t show your belly)
Shoulders: your shoulders should be completely covered (both of them!)

Knees : your knees should be covered as well. Nothing above the knee.

Toes: when you touch your toes, your skirt should still be modest on the back and your jeans/pants should not be revealing part of your buttocks!
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www.thepositivemom.com

Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes ~

Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM shares her Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes formula for little girls to practice modesty and look like little girls.
www.thepositivemom.com www.thepositivemom.com
 
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I have seen the stick figure in the entry when I go to Latin Mass (two different parishes).
 
  1. Over the last 20 years I’ve attended 4 different parishes in different parts of the country (USA). They all had signs on the door describing the dress code.
Are these signs “vigilante signs?”
  1. At a wedding a few years ago in my current parish, as the bride came forward, the priest told one of the groomsmen to take of his suit jacket and put it over the bride (the bride also had the option of leaving the church, and coming back in more suitable attire.
Was this a vigilante priest?
  1. We all understand that some people are poor, and cannot afford deluxe looking clothing.
If you “dress your best” with what you do have to show God that you respect him, is this a form of silent vigilantism?

PS it looks like the previous 3-4 posts brought up a similar issue as I was typing…
 
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To your first question, no the signs are only “vigilante signs” if they have been put up without the permission of the parish priest. They speak on behalf of the parish and do not single anyone out.

To the story about the bride. That’s pretty horrifying. I agree that many wedding dresses are revealing but that seems like something that could have been discussed beforehand preventing the entire random jacket on the bride situation.
 
DisorientingSneeze said:
To your first question, no the signs are only “vigilante signs” if they have been put up without the permission of the parish priest. They speak on behalf of the parish and do not single anyone out.

To the story about the bride. That’s pretty horrifying. I agree that many wedding dresses are revealing but that seems like something that could have been discussed beforehand preventing the entire random jacket on the bride situation.
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I kind of feel like if a priest has enough of a problem with say, strapless wedding gowns, he should probably warn a bride ahead of time due to it being a very common style now. She probably would have planned on a nice wrap for the ceremony had she known. Personally, I’d want sleeves, but I can see a bride thinking it’s okay because it’s a societal norm for a wedding dress. Then again, if she showed up in one of the newer plunging neckline, see through deals, I can see him feeling obligated to say something.
 
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Maybe the situation with the bride was discussed beforehand, and the bride said to herself “what’s he gonna do? Kick me out?” Otherwise I agree - - seems over the top.
 
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