priest threatening to deny 7-year old FHC-help!

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there is one canon law principle that does apply
the pastor of a parish has jurisdiction over all Catholics within his parish boundaries, and is the person who applies canon law in this jurisdiction

there are also canons about what constitutes worthiness and readiness for the sacraments, and no other conditions may be applied that are not stated in canon law, as interpreted in the particular law of the diocese.

there is no canon about proper dress for first communion, but there is a canon that requires first confession before first communion

there is also a whole body of law about the priest’s duty of obedience to canon law and to his bishop, but that is their problem, not this parent’s.

If OP resides in this parish she would have to get her pastor’s permission, and that of the new pastor, for the child to attend RE there and receive first communion, which is supposed to be administered by the child’s pastor. In some dioceses this is applied very strictly. I don’t know what the case is where you live.

I repeat there is no canon law that first communions must be registered in a sacramental record (although many parish secretaries and DREs are ignorant of this fact), as is required for baptism, confirmation and marriage.

you parents have the option of simply bringing her, dressed as you choose, to any Mass in any parish at any time and bringing her to communion (and to confession by the way, which is your duty if the parish is not handling it).

my advice stands, let her receive with her class, making sure you have given her the opportunity for confession beforehand, dressed in whatever the parish suggests, and save canon law battles for areas of greater import–which I am sure abound in a parish led by a dissenting priest.
 
More then the white dress it bothered me about not going to confession first in this parish for FHC…and that is something for a canon lawyer I would think.
 
mlchance said:
Does your lack of patience and time apply to following your own sig-advice? How about I save you some time. Search all you want, but you won’t find a single instance of me ever asking anyone, “What would Jesus do?”

You want action? Practicing humility and obedience are actions. They are two actions which Jesus practiced with alarming regularity, all the to being so humble and obedient that he accepted death on a cross.

I think that makes not having one’s daughter get to wear a white dress an extremely small sacrifice indeed.

– Mark L. Chance.
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It is the Catholic Church not a Protestant church where the pastor makes all the decisions (certain minor or non-canon ones perhaps). I think the white dress thing might not be a big deal in the long haul but not going to Confession before FHC is. If this priest truly is a control freak we can only imagine what other cannon laws he may try to violate in the future. I’m sure Jesus would not want us to turn the other cheek when someone is trying to mess with his Church.

If the Bishop won’t do anything (I’m not sure why he wouldn’t) then perhaps confrontation could wait till after FHC in whatever color dress he does accept but I wouldn’t think it would be the right thing to forget about it and carry on. In the Catholic Church it is God’s Church not the priest’s even though they do deserve much respect, but also need to be humbled when it is called for.😦

By the way both our girls received FHC in white dresses and went to confession prior to receiving.

SD
 
mlchance said:
Does your lack of patience and time apply to following your own sig-advice? How about I save you some time. Search all you want, but you won’t find a single instance of me ever asking anyone, “What would Jesus do?”

You want action? Practicing humility and obedience are actions. They are two actions which Jesus practiced with alarming regularity, all the to being so humble and obedient that he accepted death on a cross.

I think that makes not having one’s daughter get to wear a white dress an extremely small sacrifice indeed.

– Mark L. Chance.
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I’m going to turn the other cheek to you,Chance. You continues to miss the question of “can a priest deny FHC to a child based on her clothing color.” Seems you’d rather not let facts get in the way of being right. Thanks to the rest of you for your logical and considerate advice.
 
Presuming the op’s story is correct as posted, this pastor is behaving outrageously inappopriately.

As for “turning the other cheek”, of course the op should forgive his outrageous conduct. But that does not mean accepting the whimsical dictates of someone who is on a power trip.
 
I blocked you, Mark, so I only read your remarks as a matter of second-hand quotes.

You are the one who’s turning this into a debate. So, I debated, within the TOS of CAF.
 
cotaface said:
Another of the pastors “policies” is that First Reconciliation is done AFTER FHC. Yes, after. It’s in 5th grade b/c he believes second graders are not capable of grasping the concept of this sacrament.
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Ugh, I’m so tired of this. Your 2nd grader can ‘understand’ transubstantiation but not saying, “I’m sorry.” That makes no sense.

With regard to the white dress thing, perhaps you can persuade the diocese to send a rep to the FHC Mass. They can take the priest aside before the Mass then be there to see what happens.
 
KCT said:
Ugh, I’m so tired of this. Your 2nd grader can ‘understand’ transubstantiation but not saying, “I’m sorry.” That makes no sense.

With regard to the white dress thing, perhaps you can persuade the diocese to send a rep to the FHC Mass. They can take the priest aside before the Mass then be there to see what happens.
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Ugh, I am so tired of this as well. Your 2nd grader can ‘understand’ what sin is and commit a mortal sin before saying “I understand transubstantiation”. That makes sense.
 
Why not return to the ancient way of offering all three sacraments of initiation at the same time? The practice of separating the three only causes confusion as can be seen in this thread.

CDL
 
GregoryPalamas said:
Why not return to the ancient way of offering all three sacraments of initiation at the same time? The practice of separating the three only causes confusion as can be seen in this thread.

CDL
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I have been saying this for YEARS!!! Baptize 'em, chrismate 'em, communicate 'em.👍
 
GregoryPalamas said:
Why not return to the ancient way of offering all three sacraments of initiation at the same time? The practice of separating the three only causes confusion as can be seen in this thread.

CDL
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Maybe you could bring it up to your wonderful bishop (can you tell, we still miss him down here).
 
GregoryPalamas said:
Why not return to the ancient way of offering all three sacraments of initiation at the same time? The practice of separating the three only causes confusion as can be seen in this thread.

CDL
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That’s a discussion for another thread, and not on topic.

With regard to the topic at hand - if this were my daughter, I’d be calling Rome.

~Liza
 
It would be interesting to see what this guy would do if every member of the parish showed up that Sunday dressed in white from head to foot, men and women both.
 
ljprevo said:
I didn’t mean to suggest that you did, sorry it came across that way. I was stating a fact toward this thread as a whole.
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Thanks.

This is my first comment:

"I’m stunned that a priest would even consider mortifying a child that way.

If he turns her away, it could color her attitude toward the Eucharist and the Catholic Church in general. Children don’t forget being embarassed. I had a really hateful nun in grade school, and I can remember every mean thing she did or said…I’m 57 years old."

First Communion is a very big deal to a child. Her memories of it should be precious, not unpleasant, and especially not ugly.
 
OutinChgoburbs said:
I blocked you, Mark, so I only read your remarks as a matter of second-hand quotes.

You are the one who’s turning this into a debate. So, I debated, within the TOS of CAF.
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Since you blocked Mark I’m taking the liberty of speaking on his behalf.

In post #51 you derided Marks advice. All he said was that you did the exact opposite of what you ask of others in your signature.

He is 100% correct. I know eating humble pie is awful but he was right and you are wrong.

Now you can add me to ignore.

BTW, I agree with Marks advice to the OP.
 
  1. Go to a neighboring parish.
  2. Find out when first communions are being done for CCD classes.
  3. Go to one of the Masses scheduled for CCD first communicants.
  4. Have daughter, dressed in white dress line up with other children.
  5. Done.
Matthew
 
As far as the white dress; from what I understand it is already bought? The idea one poster mentioned about adding some pink ribbon sounded good to me… a pink bow around her waste perhaps. Or a little pink sweater. Seems like these are some options rather then having to buy a new dress. Since you want her to receive FHC with her class I think by not complying the child may be traumatized if she were refused.
 
If you have contacted the Bishop and he has stated that your daughter can wear her White dress and the Priest is still saying that he will refuse to allow it you have no option but to go back to the Bishop and let him know that he is being disobeyed. I have read on hear that we must be obedient to our priest, should that not apply even more so to the priest to his Bishop?

I advise you to continue to fight this. Keep it from your daughter. Have another dress ready in case you don’t win. Finally, find another parish after this is over.
 
drafdog said:
  1. Go to a neighboring parish.
  2. Find out when first communions are being done for CCD classes.
  3. Go to one of the Masses scheduled for CCD first communicants.
  4. Have daughter, dressed in white dress line up with other children.
  5. Done.
Matthew
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Sure-seems simple to stand in line and get a communion. Unfortunately, there’s the whole documentation part which would not be addressed if I did 1-5.
 
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