Priest's greeting of lapsed catholics

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Irishmom2 said:
Perhaps the first priest was friendlier because you asked him to be.
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Priests should be friendly without being asked.

I guess they can tell new parents seeking to have their baby baptized who are inactive Catholics to come back at a later date after they establish a record of attendance and donations. And I guess they can tell it to them in a nice way.

No need to be nasty about it.
 
I know that the young couple in the OP left “rather cross”, so that would indicate to me that the priest wasn’t very friendly or diplomatic about it.

Skill in public relations is delivering news that the people don’t care to hear, and having them leave satisfied and pleased.

If the policy is that parents have to have a record of attendance/donations extending back x period of time before there kids can be baptized, people are cool with that. But only if they are told the right way.
 
Augustinian said:
I know that the young couple in the OP left “rather cross”, so that would indicate to me that the priest wasn’t very friendly or diplomatic about it.
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It could equally well suggest a sense of “entitlement”, or a complete lack of understanding of their duty. We can’t know.
Augustinian said:
If the policy is that parents have to have a record of attendance/donations extending back x period of time before there kids can be baptized, people are cool with that. But only if they are told the right way.
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That’s hardly the policy! The requirement is that parents seeking baptism for a child be able to and do in fact promise to bring the child up in the catholic faith. That is a multi-year commitment. Perhaps this unmarried couple felt that was entirely unreasonable, and no matter how nicely they were informed, it remained - in their mind - unreasonable. 🤷‍♂️
 
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Your success in keeping your children Catholic is at the heart of your frustrations. I would redirect all anger into studying how best to evangelize your children. Leave the priests out of your thoughts and just do the very best you can to mitigate any errors you and your husband may have made. Study study study. Read about apologetics. So that when the next event happens, you will be ready for it.

Have you thought of joining RCIA yourself to gain another perspective?
 
You can’t always tell people what they want to hear but some parishes seem a lot stricter than others over baptism which must cause hard feeling when your parish insists in regular attendance and practicing Godparents and you know someone who managed to get their baby done without those things.
 
That was judgemental, don’t judge or you will be judged. The first son had
not been to Mass for years, that is not a sin? What is wrong is that there
are rules made by the church, not God. Consider the lost sheep, or
consider the young man who had spent all his inheritance on women in a far
land. There is no excuse for sending a lost sheep away.

Frinders
 
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Then perhaps I should blame the bishop. These rules do not help, as they
say Rome wasn’t built in a day. One brick at a time, or one step at a time.

Frinders
 
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Frinders said:
Consider the lost sheep, or consider the young man who had spent all his inheritance on women in a far land. There is no excuse for sending a lost sheep away.
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The young man in question admitted he had become a lost sheep and sought to be reconciled to his father.

How might the father have reacted had the son returned seeking only a further advance on his inheritance? Or the clearing of debts so that he might continue his present way of life?
 
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I wasn’t there so I do not know.

Consider though, is it ever the priest’s fault, or is it the rules’ fault.
Who made the rules. Which is best, to stand some chance or none at all.

Frinders
 
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Frinders said:
Consider though, is it ever the priest’s fault,
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Of course, they are human.

As you say, you were not there. Probably difficult to draw firm conclusions.

Priests in my experience give the benefit of doubt to the one requesting something of them. A friend of mine, catholic but not practicing, and barely believing, told me of his baptized son seeking a catholic marriage. The son and girlfriend had lived together for some time. Neither attended church. Neither intended to change. But they wanted a church wedding. The priest - at a church not where they lived - agreed. As my friend said to me, the priest “should have told them to get lost”. Even my friend recognized the inappropriateness of a church wedding in circumstances such as this.
 
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It’s a really awkward area with people who feel entitled to Catholic sacraments whilst making no effort to practice the faith, a consistent approach to these requests would help though.
 
The young man was viewed at a distance. The father did not know of his
repentence, anymore than this priest. He should have welcomed him.
Priests should not be an stumbling block, that is the devils job.

Frinders
 
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Well, I don’t. The priest did the right thing in being welcoming. Go
Preach the Good News, don’t ask for made up minds. Preach the good news
first, then ask for commited decision.

Frinders

Just accept that the church has put obstacles in the way of people. Follow
the Pope.

Frinders
 
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Frinders said:
He should have welcomed him. Priests should not be an stumbling block, that is the devils job.
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You remarked earlier you were not there. You don’t know what happened. We know the young man returning to his father promptly asked for forgiveness.

Do you believe the priest should agree to Baptise the child quite apart from the intentions of the parents to bring the child up in the faith?
 
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Frinders said:
Just accept that the church has put obstacles in the way of people.
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I sense an opportunity to make that statement is what motivated this thread?

Was your son on a path to somewhere and then ran into obstacles placed to hinder him, or of his own making? All we seem to be clear about is that he did not get what he wanted.🤷‍♂️
 
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Where do you draw the line at an obstacle and church teaching though?
 
But we also know that the father saw him at a distance, and gave
instructions for a welcome, BEFORE he arrived.

Frinders

Please do not change the Gospel to suit your own interpretation.
 
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Frinders said:
Is there a format for the priest to follow? It could be said that they lacked the grace, and that number one son had the grace. From my viewpoint it looks like someone was prepared to make someone welcome and the other to generate a guilt trip.

If I appear a little cross, it is because I am.

Any ideas on how I can turn this round?
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Pray for your kids. Suggest they marry and show a good example of accepting the Priest’s decision. Are you in India? Is it the same Priest in Australia? Or different Priest, different place? I have been chatting with Indians and there , in some Diocese, the Ordained clergy will only baptise if the parents are practicing Catholics. It’s not that uncommon.
 
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Frinders if all it took were a warm welcome, everyone would be Catholic! It takes faith and God’s tap on the shoulder.
 
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