I do agree with this, but it seems like the guest was being rude by chastising the host for being a bad hostess due to not having the coffee. Now, if that was not the case, then, yes, I completely agree with you. Again, respect and graciousness leads to happy people all around.
…I love you Em! You are so right. We are dealing with my grandmother being like this and it has been a lesson in patience and practicing kindness. She is in the early stages of dementia/alzheimers and as it has gotten worse, she has become more rude, cruel, mean and downright horrible at times. We have had to realize that our normally sweet grandmother is ill now and she sometimes can’t help being that way, but it’s something to remember and practice with family members and friends who are like this when they really don’t have an excuse.No, I GET the tone of asking rudely… yes, every family DOES have someone special like that!
But I don’t think there are any battles worth taking offense. It’s their problem if they’re cranky… you can respond as you wish!
Maybe there should be a moratorium on new parents hosting baptismal parties. From what’s being described in all of these posts the Church might declare these parties as occasions of sin!
Now that works.Maybe there should be a moratorium on new parents hosting baptismal parties. From what’s being described in all of these posts the Church might declare these parties as occasions of sin!
Either that or trade in friends and family for future draft choices — keeping with the sports theme
If you’ve never been chastised or at least obviously subjected to mental excoriation by a family member for not being able to read minds or do the impossible, you just haven’t tried hard enough…or maybe your family is still too small.
I guess I was always taught that if you ask for something and the host says no for any reason, then the guest is supposed to be gracious and accept that. The host should accommodate if possible, but if comes to a head, then the host gets the last word.
See, you accommodated the people who drink, no question. So, accommodate the ones who want to watch sports, which it sounds like you plan to. Problem solved.Thanks!
It was this past weekend…and it was a great time indeed. Even for MY BROTHER!!
It is good to accomodate where possible, but it always goes both ways. Communication is good, but it is best to assume that the other is doing their best. On that account, the less the host is concerned with what the guest “ought” to do and the less the guest is concerned with what the host “ought” to do, the better.
I never claimed to be morally superior to anyone. There are plenty of sports I enjoy watching, and if it’s a big game, even more so. However, I find it problematic and rude when people can’t take 2 hours away from their sports-watching out of respect for a relative celebrating a birthday, holiday or a once-in-a-liftetime event. Like I pointed out, the biggest issue I have isn’t when it’s a playoff game, Superbowl, etc., but occasions like the time the room full of golf-hating relatives yelled at the kids to keep it down and/or go in the other room because they couldn’t hear what Tyrone van Aswegen’s caddy said about his club selection. As I pointed out, if this were any other activity, the people cutting themselves off from the rest of the group, refusing to sing Happy Birthday to their 5-year-old nephew and yelling at everyone to shut up and stay out of the way so can engage in activity that they’ll freely admit means absolutely nothing to them and which they have access to 24/7 would be viewed as far beyond rude. Instead, since it’s sports, the people who feel these others should be able to sacrifice watching opening ceremonies for the sumo quarter-finals are demonized and considered to be at least as bad, if not far worse than the sports junkies. Would they get a pass if they chose to skip the Baptism as well?
And if you know ahead of time that you are not going to have the TV on for those that ALWAYS watch the Appalachian League’s girls’ field hockey tournament because you feel it is morally superior to NOT watch TV, then yes, you are going to get some push back.
The point is, if you KNOW your family is going to want to watch the game, and you refuse to allow them to do what you KNOW they want to do, you are just as inflexible as they are. In other words, you are both wrong.
A hundred years ago, this kind would have gotten their drink, sat down on the horsehair sofa that no one was ever allowed to sit on except when company was there, in the room where the kids were not allowed to play ever, and either complained to others their own age about nothing in particular or, not finding a kindred soul who resented having to spend time with relatives at all, glowered off into space solely in the company of whatever tobacco product they preferred, yelled at any child that did not understand that “children are to be seen and not heard”, and gone home as soon as their spouse allowed it.
Ahhh so true. I haven’t gotten to adolescence, but I have 4 kids 11 and younger, and I’ve had to explain that little detail as kindly as possible, many times to the same relative. I don’t even remember whose baptism the coffee-incident happened at, except that it wasn’t my 4th (because I SURE didn’t forget about the coffee for the 4th child’s baptism). Actually, from that point on, I just make sure to put my coffee-less critic in charge of making the coffee at all of my parties.If you’ve never been chastised or at least obviously subjected to mental excoriation by a family member for not being able to read minds or do the impossible, you just haven’t tried hard enough…or maybe your family is still too small.
Being able to muster affection for unreasonable and ungrateful relatives and to remain unruffled as you offer your regrets that your life doesn’t necessarily revolve around what other people want is a very useful skill to have practiced before that newly-baptised child reaches adolescence, trust me on that one!!
It’s your house so you make the rules!
Actually, with someone who is this big of a downer on my parties, I’d probably prefer they missed the whole thing. When people are that rude, I do rethink whether or not they should make the guest list next time around. Sometimes you can’t help it, if they are close enough family. Other times…
So we have gone from wanting to watch the game to acting like a drunk mean bully.