I guess what i’m saying is that my hope is that you will not give up on Jesus, because i’ve found it to be true that He will never give up on me or you.
Well soc, it’s been a long road and I’ve been down those dark paths.
My mormon youth was not a negative experience. Children are if anything well loved by a very large community.
I have always been a observer and a “thinker”, from a very young age, and as I got older what I observed and what I was thinking weren’t matching up to what I was being told I had to be and do. I have always been very independent, and have always enjoyed math. When I was in high school I got into computers, those first where I programmed using punch cards.
I wanted to work with my mind, and with computers. I wanted a career, which I have. That would have never fit into the perfect mormon lifestyle. I could never reconcile how God created every woman on earth for one purpose and one purpose only. Like a cookie cutter design with no room for me to be me.
I was once having a conversation with a mormon about this sort of thing, and he said that he thought there were some people who were raised in a very deep mormon lifestyle who could not see themselves living that lifestyle, forever, their whole lives. That was one way of putting it, and I can agree with that.
I didn’t believe in God, but you have to understand that the “god” I was raised to know was God the Father. In my atheism, that is the god that I believed did not exist. I was pissed off beyond belief at that god.
I did this search for truth thing, unraveling myself, and it hit me one day that I still believed in a god, that god that mormonism taught me about. Only, that god was a jerk that I didn’t want anything to do with.
So, I embarked on the search for God, which was a search for Faith because I had none of that, at all. Found Catholicism, realized that I had never had that anger towards Christ. You see the separation that mormonism taught me? mormons do not think of God in a trinitarian way.
So I followed Christ, as Catholics define Him, the God who loves us. This truth that I was never taught as a child or teen, that God IS Love. And here I am, waiting for Easter to be baptized into the Catholic church.
It took me a while to understand Catholicism. Every term, every phrase, every idea, I had to just dump out of my head what I “knew”, what I had been taught, because mormonism and Catholicism are not the same. I did that for about a year and then signed up for RCIA.
What I see with a few mormons here is that they haven’t or can’t make that disconnection from mormonism. Their ideas and thoughts are mormon and can’t be anything else. So they morph Catholicism to their own thoughts, rather than working at understanding what Catholicism is teaching them. What Christ is teaching them.
mormonism has redefined what Christ taught, what Christians believe. They use the same terms but you should never believe the terms have the same meaning as your knowledge from your Catholic or Baptist background.