Could you explain what you mean by ‘desires are backbreakers?’*
Certainly…
We all have desires. Desires in themselves are not “bad.” Certainly they provide motivation, give us a purpose, and help lead us to a goal. However, sometimes we have desires that might not be in our best interest either at the time or never. Desires can ebb and flow and result from a sense of longing or belonging.
Keen spouses wish to help meet each others desires. Sometimes we desire too much or do so in a way that is either too vague to be accommodated or is too difficlut to actually fulfill.
Like a couple that is having trouble conceiving… Can you imagine what the husband must feel like, every month when his wife comes crying saying she’s not pregnant? He will come to feel inadequate because he can’t help meet the desires of his wife. (I can imagine the reverse would also be true.) What has to happen is that each must come to terms with the desire and the best way to approach it.
Like a dream (and I’m borrowing this form Matthew Kelly’s 7 Levels CD). If someone has a dream, especially one of a couple, it’s there. It’s something to consider. Something the other needs to help the spouse obtain… but over time, the dream (desire) may wane. It may loose importance, or some other dream (desire) or reality makes it difficult to support or hard to justify.
Like the childless couple… the desire becomes a back breaker, either to one of the couple or to both if an adjustment isn’t made to the expected outcome.
Your desire is to “go home.” Your husband, at first says OK… but as he thinks about it, he may be thinking “We are home. I don’t have the energy to go through this again.” or “In this economy, I’ll not be able to find a job.” Or, based on a tid bit you said about what he was doing in Pits wasn’t “home” to him.
You want to go back to what you had. He’s looking at it as “why would I want to go back to that?” On one hand he wants to make you happy and on the other he doesn’t either see how that will help or he fears he will “go back” to being unhappy. He’s caught in between.
And I make no pretension as to knowing if your desire is reasonable or not nor am I trying to suggest that it is or is not. Just that strong desires can create strong friction if they are not shared desires. That is why I called them back breakers. They
can become a very heavy load for the person that believes they are responsible for helping enable the desire but can not.
He would be a fan too if he talked to you on here. 
Sorry that this is SO off topic.