Questions about Homosexual Conversion/ReversalTherapy etc

[dapper]

Dapper,
Your comments are condescending and inappropriate. I suggest you keep it respectful.

I was referring to a previous post and was merely jesting. Sometimes things get taken to seriously when read. I meant no offense to anyone here and have always been respectful

 

[blessedtoo]

I was referring to a previous post and was merely jesting. Sometimes things get taken to seriously when read. I meant no offense to anyone here and have always been respectful

I know. I saw your first post and didn’t take it too “seriously”. But you had to repeat it. Considering setter was trying to have a dialogue (pointless though it might be), I thought your “playful flirtatious banter” was offensive. That’s all.

 

[dapper]

I know. I saw your first post and didn’t take it too “seriously”. But you had to repeat it. Considering setter was trying to have a dialogue (pointless though it might be), I thought your “playful flirtatious banter” was offensive. That’s all.

Don’t you worry. I wouldn’t be flirting with another. I am very faithful to my partner of 5 years!

 

[Kevin42]

I don’t really like the idea of therapy. I think it is rather dangerous. I have no support for this, it is just my opinion though.

If you want to change, just pray to the Lord God. If He wants to lift this cross from you, He will. With God, nothing is impossible. Just pray, pray, pray, and be patient. It certainly has worked well for me.

 

[dapper]

I don’t really like the idea of therapy. I think it is rather dangerous. I have no support for this, it is just my opinion though.

If you want to change, just pray to the Lord God. If He wants to lift this cross from you, He will. With God, nothing is impossible. Just pray, pray, pray, and be patient. It certainly has worked well for me.

Are you saying that you were once a homosexual and now you are not? Or are you saying that patience and prayer are the way to go with any cross? Or both?

Thanks for commenting too. I am very happy with my orientation though am intersted in hearing more testimony of folks who have gone through any kind of conversion or reversal for homosexuality. I am fascinated at to how this is done, the steps that are taken etc.

Again, thank you.

 

[Kevin42]

Are you saying that you were once a homosexual and now you are not? Or are you saying that patience and prayer are the way to go with any cross? Or both?

Thanks for commenting too. I am very happy with my orientation though am intersted in hearing more testimony of folks who have gone through any kind of conversion or reversal for homosexuality. I am fascinated at to how this is done, the steps that are taken etc.

Again, thank you.

Well I wouldn’t say that I have completly gotten away from same-sex attraction. Actually sometimes it seems like I haven’t gotten too far at all. That being said, I am in a much better place than I was two years, or even one year ago. I have done some research on the different theories of why some people end up attracted to the same-sex. I haven’t come to a conclusion to blanket everyone with, but I feel in my place at least, it has something to do with my relationship with my father.

I have been through alot of ups and downs with it regarding my faith. First denial of the whole thing. Then accepting, but wondering what to do. After that I went through a stage where I felt like, “Well, if I am this way, I guess the Church just doesn’t want me, and if that’s the case, I don’t want them.” Somewhere after that though, I slowly began to come back, and the Church’s teachings still hurt me, but I knew they were true. Now I am very very happy though, because I feel like God has given me so many blessings, and continues to strengthen me. Like I said, I’m not sure how far I will get, but I think I am making slow progress. If it ends up I can’t get past these attractions, I will be happy to live a celibate life.

Also, regarding therapy, I just have a bad feeling about it in general. I have this image of people going, being “cured” and then months later realizing they aren’t, or relapsing, and losing their entire faith. Like I said, no evidence or real reasoning behind it, just a bad feeling about it. IMO, just prayer, and perhaps speak with your priest semi-frequently.

 

[dapper]

Well I wouldn’t say that I have completly gotten away from same-sex attraction. Actually sometimes it seems like I haven’t gotten too far at all. That being said, I am in a much better place than I was two years, or even one year ago. I have done some research on the different theories of why some people end up attracted to the same-sex. I haven’t come to a conclusion to blanket everyone with, but I feel in my place at least, it has something to do with my relationship with my father.

I have been through alot of ups and downs with it regarding my faith. First denial of the whole thing. Then accepting, but wondering what to do. After that I went through a stage where I felt like, “Well, if I am this way, I guess the Church just doesn’t want me, and if that’s the case, I don’t want them.” Somewhere after that though, I slowly began to come back, and the Church’s teachings still hurt me, but I knew they were true. Now I am very very happy though, because I feel like God has given me so many blessings, and continues to strengthen me. Like I said, I’m not sure how far I will get, but I think I am making slow progress. If it ends up I can’t get past these attractions, I will be happy to live a celibate life.

Also, regarding therapy, I just have a bad feeling about it in general. I have this image of people going, being “cured” and then months later realizing they aren’t, or relapsing, and losing their entire faith. Like I said, no evidence or real reasoning behind it, just a bad feeling about it. IMO, just prayer, and perhaps speak with your priest semi-frequently.

Thanks for the post! I hope you continue to find happiness in the steps you are taking and life you are leading.

**Anyone else care to share their experience or describe any formal treatment they have received for the reversal of their homosexuality/SSA? **

 

[Karin]

If you are not Catholic, you can be gay and have a partner too.

that is true…but it still does not make it right …

 

[Riley259]

Well I wouldn’t say that I have completly gotten away from same-sex attraction. Actually sometimes it seems like I haven’t gotten too far at all. That being said, I am in a much better place than I was two years, or even one year ago. I have done some research on the different theories of why some people end up attracted to the same-sex. I haven’t come to a conclusion to blanket everyone with, but I feel in my place at least, it has something to do with my relationship with my father.

I have been through alot of ups and downs with it regarding my faith. First denial of the whole thing. Then accepting, but wondering what to do. After that I went through a stage where I felt like, “Well, if I am this way, I guess the Church just doesn’t want me, and if that’s the case, I don’t want them.” Somewhere after that though, I slowly began to come back, and the Church’s teachings still hurt me, but I knew they were true. Now I am very very happy though, because I feel like God has given me so many blessings, and continues to strengthen me. Like I said, I’m not sure how far I will get, but I think I am making slow progress. If it ends up I can’t get past these attractions, I will be happy to live a celibate life.

Also, regarding therapy, I just have a bad feeling about it in general. I have this image of people going, being “cured” and then months later realizing they aren’t, or relapsing, and losing their entire faith. Like I said, no evidence or real reasoning behind it, just a bad feeling about it. IMO, just prayer, and perhaps speak with your priest semi-frequently.

Good testimony. I’ll pray for you.

 

[setter]

Why not let some of us be happy with a homosexual orientation?

As a Catholic, I do not understand how one so afflicted with the disordered desire of SSA, could ever be “happy”. For me, this would be somewhat akin to someone diagnosed with chronic bipolar mood disorder coming to a point of being “happy” with this psychological disorder and the limitations and challenges to achieving normalcy of life.

Perhaps I am not as spiritually mature, but I am never really “happy” with the crosses that have been dealt to me by God for the sake of growing in sanctity and holiness of person. Accepting and by His grace able to make a willful embrace of my crosses, yes, but, not happy. Though I know that St. Paul talks about rejoicing in his weakness and praising God for the thorn in his flesh that God refused to remove.

 

[HoppityRedux]

As a Catholic, I do not understand how one so afflicted with the disordered desire of SSA, could ever be “happy”. For me, this would be somewhat akin to someone diagnosed with chronic bipolar mood disorder coming to a point of being “happy” with this psychological disorder and the limitations and challenges to achieving normalcy of life.

Perhaps I am not as spiritually mature, but I am never really “happy” with the crosses that have been dealt to me by God for the sake of growing in sanctity and holiness of person. Accepting and by His grace able to make a willful embrace of my crosses, yes, but, not happy. Though I know that St. Paul talks about rejoicing in his weakness and praising God for the thorn in his flesh that God refused to remove.

Homosexuality is not a cross. And, I can’t understand why anyone likes brussels sprouts. But I recignize they do, and simply have to accept my lack of understanding.

 

[MikeinSD]

As a Catholic, I do not understand how one so afflicted with the disordered desire of SSA, could ever be “happy”. For me, this would be somewhat akin to someone diagnosed with chronic bipolar mood disorder coming to a point of being “happy” with this psychological disorder and the limitations and challenges to achieving normalcy of life.

Perhaps I am not as spiritually mature, but I am never really “happy” with the crosses that have been dealt to me by God for the sake of growing in sanctity and holiness of person. Accepting and by His grace able to make a willful embrace of my crosses, yes, but, not happy. Though I know that St. Paul talks about rejoicing in his weakness and praising God for the thorn in his flesh that God refused to remove.

Perhaps if you read Dapper’s, mine, and other posts by gay men, you might come to a better understanding. We prefer to live openly with the men we love. Somehow the word “love” does not appear much in these anti-gay threads. We love our partners like str8 men love their wives. Maybe the idea of 2 men in romantic love with each other frightens some folks. Pity.

Openly gay men also not think our love is like a mental illness. In fact, there is no evidence that our love is any sort of illness. I suspect only people who firmly reject science embrace that sort bigotry.

Of course the Catholic church can and should set the doctrines of Catholic faith. I suggest good Catholics not be gay. And gay Catholics should leave. From the posts here and elsewhere in this forum, I think str8 Catholics would say “good riddance.” The posts about “effeminate priests” makes it clear many Catholics do not want gay men in their church. So be it.

Many of us gay men experienced hostility from our families when we came out. That is difficult. But hopefully, most of us grew past that and learned to be happy. If you do not want happy openly gay men in your church, that is your prerogative.

If you do not want happy openly gay men in your country, sorry, we ain’t going anywhere. It’s our country too.

 

[dapper]

Perhaps if you read Dapper’s, mine, and other posts by gay men, you might come to a better understanding. We prefer to live openly with the men we love. Somehow the word “love” does not appear much in these anti-gay threads. We love our partners like str8 men love their wives. Maybe the idea of 2 men in romantic love with each other frightens some folks. Pity.

Openly gay men also not think our love is like a mental illness. In fact, there is no evidence that our love is any sort of illness. I suspect only people who firmly reject science embrace that sort bigotry.

Of course the Catholic church can and should set the doctrines of Catholic faith. I suggest good Catholics not be gay. And gay Catholics should leave. From the posts here and elsewhere in this forum, I think str8 Catholics would say “good riddance.” The posts about “effeminate priests” makes it clear many Catholics do not want gay men in their church. So be it.

Many of us gay men experienced hostility from our families when we came out. That is difficult. But hopefully, most of us grew past that and learned to be happy. If you do not want happy openly gay men in your church, that is your prerogative.

If you do not want happy openly gay men in your country, sorry, we ain’t going anywhere. It’s our country too.

Thanks Mike,

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

As I wrapped up my Thanksgiving weekend I was actually thinking of this exact thing. I love my guy so much. And he loves me even more. His love for me is reflexive. I am always put first in his life and try to make sure that his comfort and needs are my priority as well. And to hear how some would boil it down to “disordered” “narcissistic” “mentally ill” etc is pretty demeaning. However, it does not and will not change the fact that I am happily in love and am so thankful to have found such a wonderful man to share my life with!

On another note, I think my favorite thread on here is the “Effeminate Priests” one. You’d think that with such a shortage of priests “beggars wouldn’t be so choosey.” As I read through that I could hardly believe what I was seeing. It’s a shame to think that a person is reduced, judged and written off based solely on their mannerisms and voice inflections? How Christian!

**Back to the OP – I am still open to hear any testimony on homosexual conversion/therapy and promise to not argue with the poster about why they chose to do it. I am extremely fascinated by the subject on a granular level. I have received a couple private emails from some who shared their experience. It was very nice (and brave) to do that. I really appreciated them. Thanks! **

 

[HoppityRedux]

Thanks Mike,

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

As I wrapped up my Thanksgiving weekend I was actually thinking of this exact thing. I love my guy so much. And he loves me even more. His love for me is reflexive. I am always put first in his life and try to make sure that his comfort and needs are my priority as well. And to hear how some would boil it down to “disordered” “narcissistic” “mentally ill” etc is pretty demeaning. However, it does not and will not change the fact that I am happily in love and am so thankful to have found such a wonderful man to share my life with!

On another note, I think my favorite thread on here is the “Effeminate Priests” one. You’d think that with such a shortage of priests “beggars wouldn’t be so choosey.” As I read through that I could hardly believe what I was seeing. It’s a shame to think that a person is reduced, judged and written off based solely on their mannerisms and voice inflections? How Christian!

**Back to the OP – I am still open to hear any testimony on homosexual conversion/therapy and promise to not argue with the poster about why they chose to do it. I am extremely fascinated by the subject on a granular level. I have received a couple private emails from some who shared their experience. It was very nice (and brave) to do that. I really appreciated them. Thanks! **

I suspect we an all agree that social attitudes towards gays have changed dramatically in the past thirty years. That is a source of joy to some, and sorrow for others. However, I’d say the strongest factor in changing attitudes has been the public’s simple observation of gays. They work with them, live next door to them, and play in the same softball league. The public sees gays and their relationships to each other, and has a very hard time condemning what they see. Real first-hand experience trumps all other sources of information.

So, we see a public that is becoming more gay-friendly every year. In many places the public has even passed beyond being gay-friendly; they just don’t care about sexual orientation anymore. It becomes a non-issue. And why is it a non-issue? Because of first-hand observation.

 

[gilliam]

I suspect we an all agree that social attitudes towards gays have changed dramatically in the past thirty years. That is a source of joy to some, and sorrow for others. However, I’d say the strongest factor in changing attitudes has been the public’s simple observation of gays. They work with them, live next door to them, and play in the same softball league. The public sees gays and their relationships to each other, and has a very hard time condemning what they see. Real first-hand experience trumps all other sources of information.

So, we see a public that is becoming more gay-friendly every year. In many places the public has even passed beyond being gay-friendly; they just don’t care about sexual orientation anymore. It becomes a non-issue. And why is it a non-issue? Because of first-hand observation.

The OP didn’t talk about social acceptance of homosexual behavior. It was soliciting information about Homosexual Conversion/ReversalTherapy. I think you are off topic.

 

[Robert_Bay]

WARNING

This thread has wandered off topic. Please return to the topic of the original post:

Questions about Homosexual Conversion/ReversalTherapy etc

 

[cocacj]

In many of these behavior-change techniques, “success” has been defined as suppression of homoerotic response or mere display of physiological ability to engage in heterosexual intercourse. Neither outcome is the same as adopting the complex set of attractions and feelings that constitute sexual orientation.

Many interventions aimed at changing sexual orientation have succeeded only in reducing or eliminating homosexual behavior rather than in creating or increasing heterosexual attractions. They have, in effect, deprived individuals of their capacity for sexual response to others. These “therapies” have often exposed their victims to electric shocks or nausea-producing drugs while showing them pictures of same-sex nudes (such techniques appear to be less common today than in the past).

Another problem in many published reports of “successful” conversion therapies is that the participants’ initial sexual orientation was never adequately assessed. Many bisexuals have been mislabeled as homosexuals with the consequence that the “successes” reported for the conversions actually have occurred among bisexuals who were highly motivated to adopt a heterosexual behavior pattern.

…
.

 

[dapper]

In many of these behavior-change techniques, “success” has been defined as suppression of homoerotic response or mere display of physiological ability to engage in heterosexual intercourse. Neither outcome is the same as adopting the complex set of attractions and feelings that constitute sexual orientation.

Many interventions aimed at changing sexual orientation have succeeded only in reducing or eliminating homosexual behavior rather than in creating or increasing heterosexual attractions. They have, in effect, deprived individuals of their capacity for sexual response to others. These “therapies” have often exposed their victims to electric shocks or nausea-producing drugs while showing them pictures of same-sex nudes (such techniques appear to be less common today than in the past).

Another problem in many published reports of “successful” conversion therapies is that the participants’ initial sexual orientation was never adequately assessed. Many bisexuals have been mislabeled as homosexuals with the consequence that the “successes” reported for the conversions actually have occurred among bisexuals who were highly motivated to adopt a heterosexual behavior pattern.

…

You could have just posted this link psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/facts_changing.html

Thanks for your interet in this and post. I am really fascinated by the whole thing.

 

[setter]

You could have just posted this link psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/facts_changing.html

Thanks for your interet in this and post. I am really fascinated by the whole thing.

Then I would think that you will finb this book excerpt highly fascinating:

Book Excerpt:

Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality,
by Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D.

Today, new studies place the homoerotic drive in better perspective by showing us that it originates from the search for health and wholeness. Many homosexuals are attracted to other men and their maleness because they are striving to complete their own gender identification. From this perspective, we now better understand the nature of the homosexual person’s struggle. And with this understanding, we can offer more than tolerance, but–for those who seek it–hope for healing. More than civil rights, we can offer a way toward wholeness.

I have chosen the term “reparative therapy” to draw attention to a neglected psychoanalytic perspective of homosexuality which traces its roots to Freud. Due to incomplete development of aspects of his masculine identity, the homosexual seeks to “repair” his deficits through erotic contact with an idealized other. Reparative therapy has recently found support through object relations theory and empirical studies in gender identity.

I hope that further understanding of the homosexual condition will lead to a more realistic public attitude, and also to the wiser parenting which would aid in prevention of homosexual development. Most important, I hope to show an option for those who find the gay lifestyle unacceptable–either because of disillusionment in having lived it, or because it is in fundamental violation of their personal identity.
…

narth.com/docs/repair.html

 

[buffalo]

As I have said before about conversion therapy- expensive and not a sure thing. Why not let some of us be happy with a homosexual orientation?

Because in this life as a trial we are called to self mastery . We are journeying to the cross. We are trying to perfect ourselves as best we can.