Redeeming Qualities in Same-Sex Relationships

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See, (romantic) relationships are not all about sex, and this subject is being frames as if the homosexual relationship is primarily a sexual one.
I think this sentence might be causing the issue with some of the comments. If a relationship is not sexual, then it would be a platonic relationship. If you call it a “homosexual relationship”, it implies homosexual sex.

If I were to describe a relationship as a “heterosexual relationship”, it implies there is heterosexual sex.

If your relationship is not sexual at all, wouldn’t it be called a “friendship”.
 
I’m not sure if you missed my post or what, but I already explained why in a previous post. Compare a homosexual relationship and a close friendship between two people of the same sex. The only difference in actions in the two relationships is that the homosexual couple has sex, and the two friends do not.
The only difference between a close friendship and a homosexual marriage is sex? Goodness. I have many close friends of the same gender. I don’t think it is the same thing at all. If I were to fall in love with a person, want to spend the rest of my life with him/her, stand up in front of my community and solemnly promise to love in sickness and health til death do us part, then start a home and family together, well, that is just a bit different.

Being in love with someone means a bit more than being a BFF. Sex notwithstanding.
 
The only difference between a close friendship and a homosexual marriage is sex? Goodness. I have many close friends of the same gender. I don’t think it is the same thing at all. If I were to fall in love with a person, want to spend the rest of my life with him/her, stand up in front of my community and solemnly promise to love in sickness and health til death do us part, then start a home and family together, well, that is just a bit different.

Being in love with someone means a bit more than being a BFF. Sex notwithstanding.
Would you describe you friendship with a member of the same sex as a same sex relationship?
 
Would you describe you friendship with a member of the same sex as a same sex relationship?
I wouldn’t use those words, no. I have close friends of both genders; the focus is on the level of friendship. Good friend, acquaintance, colleague, childhood friend, best friend, etc. Gender doesn’t matter so much.

Dating, being in love with someone puts things in a whole new category.
 
I have no difficulty understanding your point here.

I can think of many things that can bring some (earthly) good to a person. Contraception, abortion, murder, lying, bank robbery. Yes, the consequences of these things might offer happiness, safety and security - which are goods. But would we say that that fact demonstrates a redeeming quality in the act? And even if you can see past the acts concerned to acknowledge that maybe some good flowed from these acts, does it enable you to conclude that - in light of these consequences - maybe we should be more tolerant of these acts? Hardly! We know our Catholic moral theology teaches (infallibly) that there are acts which themselves are intrinsically evil - and such acts include all those listed and more.

There are theories of morality that reject the idea of intrinsically evil acts and thus the morality or immorality of acts fall to Intentions and/or a weighing of consequences. Veritatis Splendor speaks of these theories and rejects them absolutely. I understand why those theories may be appealing to some.
You are referring to the end does not justify the means: We cannot directly do evil so that good may come from it. Of course, I am not convinced at this point that same-sex sexual acts are inherently/intrinsically evil. Regardless, assuming that they are sinful for the sake of the subject of this thread, I am not referring to the goods that come out of a sinful act. I am talking about the larger encompassing homosexual relationship, yes, that may include sexual acts that would be deemed sinful, but that would also include much, much else that could be good. A gay sexual act does not necessarily lead to the goods like self-sacrifice, mutual commitment and love, etc. But these goods may be present in the relationship, anyway.
 
This really is a very complete answer to the thread. An act that is sinful by its nature can have positive side-effects.
Then the issue would be to equate the homosexual relationship as an** inherently sinful act. **That is what this thread is about: same-sex relationships, not the sexual acts themselves.

So the post in not really a complete answer to this thread at all.

But to clarify: When I say homosexual/same-sex relationships, I am referring to a relationship that does include (or is open to having) sexual activity.
 
See, (romantic) relationships are not all about sex, and this subject is being frames as if the homosexual relationship is primarily a sexual one.
No they aren’t and I even brought that point up in my first post. No real relationship is entirely about sex. But if you’re going to call a relationship a romantic one or a homosexual one, sex is implied as a regular occurrence. If sex is not a part of the relationship, it is by nature platonic and is not based on some level of sexual attraction. I cannot think of a romantic relationship in existence that is not based on at least a slight amount of sexual attraction between two people. They wouldn’t call it romantic otherwise.
Regardless, sexual activity is included, but how that makes the entire relationship **inherently **sinful is beyond me. Maybe we are not using “inherently” in the same sense.
It isn’t the sexual activity that makes the relationship inherently sinful, and I stated as much. The reason it is inherently sinful is because it is based on disordered sexual attraction that tends the two individuals towards immoral sexual activity. I’ll put it in clearer terms. At least some level of the relationship is based on lust, carnal desire, sexual attraction, or whatever words you want to use, towards each other. If you’re saying a relationship is a romantic homosexual relationship, sexual activity is heavily implied. If those thoughts are present, yet the couple remains chaste, it is *not *sinful, although it is a very serious source of temptation for the two individuals, hence the term “disinterested friendship” used by the Catechism.
I think of it the way the Church uses it in her magisterial documents, whereby a sin is in and of itself sinful, regardless of the circumstances. Perhaps you mean it slightly different, as if the homosexual relationship is bound to be sinful as it contains sinful acts, or something. Once again, I have to bring in the example of the contracepting married couple. They are performing illicit, intrinsically (inherently) evil sexual acts that disorder the purpose of sex in traditional Catholic understanding. SO is their entire relationship inherently sinful?
The contracepting couple’s relationship is not inherently sinful because the sexual nature of their relationship is not inherently disordered. With or without contraception, the married couple’s genitalia are sexually complimentary and are biologically able to produce children. The disordered nature of their using contraception is from the attitude of thwarting their sexual complimentarity with the intention of preventing reproduction. But their relationship is not disordered on a biological nature. Two men or two women in a sexual relationship cannot have the potential to produce children.
And are there absolutely no good qualities that come forth from this relationship? I would say that there are good qualities. Genuine self-sacrifice, mutual love and encouragement, joy and happiness, commitment, genuine friendship, etc. are all things that can exist. And I say that such things as well as others would exist in a gay relationship. We therefore need not only focus on the sin when homosexual persons come to our churches, but we need to figure out how they are able to be embraced where they are in their lives.
Can objectively good things come from this relationship? I honestly think they can. The sense of companionship, mutual self-sacrifice, and genuine friendship found in any close relationship are, in my opinion, good qualities. But I do not think that those qualities allow us to extend the idea that the relationship as a whole is good. Despite all of those things, if the couple is having sex immorally, they are actively endangering each others’ souls. Is the temporary pleasure granted by sexual activity truly worth a potential eternity of separation and despair?
 
The only difference between a close friendship and a homosexual marriage is sex? Goodness. I have many close friends of the same gender. I don’t think it is the same thing at all. If I were to fall in love with a person, want to spend the rest of my life with him/her, stand up in front of my community and solemnly promise to love in sickness and health til death do us part, then start a home and family together, well, that is just a bit different.

Being in love with someone means a bit more than being a BFF. Sex notwithstanding.
I think you misunderstood my point, *probably *because I phrased it badly. I agree with you, for the record. My point there was that a close friendship can have nearly all of the same qualities, as I would assume any kind of marriage would be in a large part based on such a close friendship. That part of any relationship is good, and is generally a result of truly loving the other person as we are called to. You wouldn’t marry an acquaintance or a close friend; generally if you are willing to spend the rest of your life with someone, you consider them your best friend.
 
Then the issue would be to equate the homosexual relationship as an** inherently sinful act. **That is what this thread is about: same-sex relationships, not the sexual acts themselves.

So the post in not really a complete answer to this thread at all.

But to clarify: When I say homosexual/same-sex relationships, I am referring to a relationship that does include (or is open to having) sexual activity.
Again, I think the issue is in the definitions being used. When you say “homosexual relationship”, you might have in mind 10 different components of a relationship…one of those might be sex. You are saying that 9 of the 10 components should be considered “redeeming qualities”. Those same 9 components might be redeeming, good or neutral…and would be the same in relationships considered to be platonic.

The problem people are having on this thread is when you include sex as the 10th component, or you say the relationship is open to sex as the 10th component. This 10th component makes the other 9 irrelevant, since by itself it can bring down a person’s soul, whether by the sexual act itself, or by putting a person intentionally in a “near occasion” of sin.

Hope this makes sense
 
The problem people are having on this thread is when you include sex as the 10th component, or you say the relationship is open to sex as the 10th component. This 10th component makes the other 9 irrelevant, since by itself it can bring down a person’s soul, whether by the sexual act itself, or by putting a person intentionally in a “near occasion” of sin.
If all the good things we do including going to church on Sunday are irrelevant because of one of our sins, then why even bother trying to be good or going to church on Sunday? Since all of us are always sinners in one way or another and if that makes everything else good we do irrelevant, then it would seem to be a hopeless situation. 🤷
 
If all the good things we do including going to church on Sunday are irrelevant because of one of our sins, then why even bother trying to be good or going to church on Sunday? Since all of us are always sinners in one way or another and if that makes everything else good we do irrelevant, then it would seem to be a hopeless situation. 🤷
Let me clarify a little bit.

First, you are correct, we are all sinners. You sins or no worse than mine. The problem is when we are in a sinful situation that we are not willing to leave.

Lets say that I leave my wife and move in with another woman. I might go to Church, or give alms to the poor, or work in a food kitchen…but that still does not change the state of my soul…I’m still committing adultery, and until I leave that situation and ask God for forgiveness (thru the sacrament of Reconciliation) , the good works I do won’t help my soul.

We have to make an effort to avoid sinning, and make an effort to avoid being in situations where we are likely to submit to the temptation to sin.

It might be hard…but certainly not hopeless

Blessings to you.
 
… A gay sexual act does not necessarily lead to the goods like self-sacrifice, mutual commitment and love, etc. But these goods may be present in the relationship, anyway.
Two “gay” persons may have a great devotion to each other and exhibit great self-sacrifice, if that is what you want to be acknowledged. This need not rely on or derive from sexual activity. I don’t find this any kind of revelation!
 
You must not have kept up with the convo.

Is a homosexual relationship considered a mortal sin? No.
Of course it is. Unless, of course, somebody wants to play semantics game and claim that homosexual behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with a homosexual relationship .
 
You must not have kept up with the convo.

Is a homosexual relationship considered a mortal sin?-] No/-].
Yes, it is.

As the Catechism puts it, persons with homosexual attraction are called to chastity and disinterested friendships (friendships, not romance) with members of the same sex. A homosexual relationship is not a moral choice.
 
I don’t recall that the catechism uses the phrase “disinterested friendship.”
 
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