You know, I never asked them when it started. One I knew since we were ten (the he to she). We went the same school but really didn’t interact a lot. We were in a play together. He/she was very into theater and performing from a young age. He was never ever a rough and tumble boy but looking back, I don’t recall him being feminine either. Just a sweet kid. I know by his early teen years he became more withdrawn…he didn’t join theater in high school which I did. When he became she I was shocked, confused. It wasn’t until I was about eighteen, just after graduation that we ran into each other doing a community performing arts and we talked and I asked. We didn’t discuss in depth but during that summer we did talk and I learned some of what she went through. I did come to think of him as a her…it took me time as this was my first exposure to gender dysphoria. I didn’t even know it existed until then.
When I asked about hating being male, she just said she never hated it, just always felt it was wrong. I don’t understand it either. I’m female. I’ve always felt ok in my body. I wasn’t a girly girl but I wasn’t masculine nor felt masculine ever. I really can’t imagine being male. I don’t think like men, I think like other women from what I’ve read about how men and women think differently. All I can do is accept it as something I don’t experience. Just like how I don’t experience God or enjoyment of golf or hundreds of other things that some people do and I don’t get why!