Responding to a friend who is racist, snobbish, and distorts Catholicism

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I know people who are worse than racist, they cheat on their partners and live secret lives. But I would never Judge them.

It’s not my place all I can do is rise above such talk and pray for them.

I wouldn’t just drop them because they have different views on life than me.
 
Some of the things written on here is no better than the person who is racist.

Someone even wrote they wouldn’t marry anyone who wasn’t Christian?

If that’s not Judging others , what is ?
 
Let me put it in another way which is very basic.

If one of our Parents were one of of these things : non Christian, racist , adulatory , a war monger or anything else…

Would you say no mum or dad I’m dropping you from now on you ain’t part of my life.

No … Because you love them that’s why. You don’t have to agree with them either.

It’s basic love.

Sounds like many Christians get confused what love actually truly means . To be a child of Christ.
 
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While friends are different from family (in a way; I consider my closest friends family), I generally agree. I look at it this way: God brought this person into my life, and I into theirs, for a reason.
 
I used to (and still occasionally do) attend Parish meetings for youth. I love it there because of how great those people are. Anyway they formed messenger group to inform people of anything important regarding meetings or otherwise. There was one guy attending who from what I’ve seen is probably deeply Christian but quite anti-Catholic. I did not know this at the time but he apparently often asks questions in provocative manner. Yet everyone is quite comfortable with having him around and he is always welcome.

That guy once sent us video to the group about how Catholic Church is whore of Babylon. I watched it and I charitably responded to claims video makes, thanked him for his concern for our souls as I find it that while misled, he is genuine about this. He didn’t really respond but I was told that I handled situation well (which just means it wasn’t my doing, because I was way too bitter at the time to act that way alone).

Point is, handle it with charity if possible. If you think you can argue for good of your and their soul, do so. If you want peace ask them to not talk to you about it. If none works then limit your contact so they realize that this could ruin your friendship and if that doesn’t help, let go.
 
englands123 said:
Someone even wrote they wouldn’t marry anyone who wasn’t Christian?
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Well marriage is supposed to bring us closer to Christ. It is a sacrament and isnt suited for Non-Christians. It is not discrimination, it is actually quite logical and shows love for Christ that we want to be supported in our faith and raise our children in it with our spouse. This is why marriage between Non-Christians needs dispensation- it is not the norm.

Now this is not always so bad idea, which is why dispensations exist. But that does not make it the norm nor allowed under most circumstances. We are called to love everyone but not all love results in Sacrament of Marriage.
 
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englands123 said:
This is not Catholic teaching
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There is no Church teaching that you have to remain friends with people who behave badly, treat you badly, and have sinful behavior in their life.

Doesn’t mean we don’t love and pray for them, but we don’t have to give them opportunities to be hateful and demanding and spread their venom in our lives.
englands123 said:
Where is love here ?
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She’s given this person plenty of opportunity.

Matthew 18:15-18
 
englands123 said:
Would you say no mum or dad I’m dropping you from now on you ain’t part of my life.
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Possibly. We do not have to have people in our lives who are behaving in these ways. If we’ve done our best to help them see the error of their ways and they continue in these ways, we may certainly need to put distance between them and us.
englands123 said:
No … Because you love them that’s why. You don’t have to agree with them either.
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I can love them and still maintain a distance from them unless they can change and respect boundaries. Sometimes it is very necessary to do so, such as when these behaviors and attitudes are harmful to others.
englands123 said:
Someone even wrote they wouldn’t marry anyone who wasn’t Christian?
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Correct. In fact such a marriage is invalid unless the bishop gives a dispensation from disparity of cult. The Church does not permit these marriages without specific assurances.
 
StudentMI said:
So according to you I should just ditch my friends?
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Yes.

You will learn that friendships come and go. You don’t have to be friends with everyone or stay friends just because you were once friends.

People change. Interests change. And when you have limited time and resources, you decide where you want to expend them. And it isn’t with people who you take to Internet forums to complain about.
 
As mentioned above (which I also believe ) God sends us gifts (people) and likewise we are gifts to others.

The friend in question here believes they are correct ?

I’ve been in arguments and discussion with others , knowing 100% I was correct. But I am happy to say I’m am wrong and they are right. Even though 100% they are wrong. To keep the peace and back down…

Pride is not good. Some people find that impossible to do.

Also there are times when people who I know have a hidden agenda , but come in peace.

Like Jesus did with Judas.

I to will embrace them and love them even though I know they mean me harm.

Thankfully I cannot recall falling out with anyone. Yes ex partners may hold a grudge but except that, I have no enemies as I love all.
 
It’s not as much pride as boundaries.

In the case of a bigoted person who refuses to stop airing their bigoted vews.

If so called friends insist on degrading me because of my race or religion, I am in no way obligated to spend time with them.

Christians aren’t supposed to be doormats.
 
englands123 said:
But I am happy to say I’m am wrong and they are right. Even though 100% they are wrong. To keep the peace and back down…
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Even if they ask you to sin?

Is a girl who thinks fornication is a sin supposed to acquiesce to her boyfriend who insists on premarital sex just to keep the peace?

Same thing with racists. We shouldn’t tolerate the sin and worst agree with them. Even to keep the peace. A racist must know that their beliefs have consequences.
 
Regarding Catholic Churches not allowing such a marriage you are correct. But then again the Catholic Church now allow Gay Clergy…

Impossible to explain to anon Christian.
 
catholiclala said:
I’ve had the equivalent of being told that I’m pretty and speak well for a dark skinned black woman
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I understand this one. Either they think it’s a compliment, or have no clue how insulting they are.
They might just be a jerk as well.
At my work we had one person (not there long!) made a few comments that were, uh “improper”. Finished one off with, “Right?” while looking at me. I walked away saying nothing. (I’m 6’ 200lbs, shaved head, and mustache/goatee. White, but grandma was black) They must have figured I would agree since I looked a bit like Ed Norton from “American history X”
I saw two little black girls making fun of a black boy. I stopped to ask why. The response was, “But HE’S black!” I said, “You are too.” They both giggled and the second one said, “Yeah, but he’s REALLY black.”
Don’t expect this one to get fixed anytime soon.
Dominus vobiscum
 
No one said you had to agree with them.

You can still smile and be humble in the face of hate.
 
Why? Did Jesus LIKE certain people He hung around with, such as tax collectors and prostitutes? He may have LOVED them and showed them the proper respect and dignity they deserved as human beings. Even His enemies who crucified Him deserved that much. But was He friends with His enemies or those who led sinful lifestyles? Friendship requires LIKING someone, not only loving them.
 
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I think if you ditch friends with prejudices you’ll find you have no friends left.
 
Perhaps so because we all have faults. But it’s a matter of degree. There does come a time that someone who behaves in an intolerable manner too much or in too many ways, according to our own values, no longer can be our friend. Friendship can only tolerate so much. In my view, so can marriage, but that is another issue.
 
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