L
Losinghope
Guest
Hi- new to forum. I’ve been married for 15 years and live in a sexless marriage. As the wife, I have a high libido and have been dealing with this since day 1. I feel like I have tried everything to no avail. My love-language is touch and I desperately want to be wanted by my husband. He is a good man but I’m having a hard time knowing I have sacrificed sex in my lifetime because it’s not important to him. Losing hope.
Here’s what I’ve tried: instigating (nope- he is not interested And has physically pushed me off of him for any small touch), talking about it (nope- won’t have it. Best discussion ever he said he was just tired. It used to be a cause of argument but I quit even bringing it up because it is so painful), losing weight ( I lost a lot of weight but was still not appealing to my husband), went to counseling (just me-which helped. He refuses to talk about it), made doctor appointments for husband and asked for all bloodwork and to talk about libido with doc), talked to a priest( big mistake- husband didn’t talk to me for a month), start conversations about when we first met and talk about how we fell in love (helps me but not sure about him), ask for back rub for physical touch (3-4 minutes if I’m lucky), I go get a massage when I feel we can afford it so I can at least have physical touch (not sexual at all). This past year we have been intimate 5 times- every one of them I asked for and got a “sigh” and was obligated. It hurts so much to be rejected and not wanted.
Yes, I pray constantly. Yup, I’ve done multiple novenas. My husband also has had a problem with pornography. Several years ago I confronted this and was checking the computer to hold him accountable. He created a secret account and lied to me about it. I’m not sure if he is still using.
I will also say there is additional stress with a son who is mentally ill.
At what point do I give up? We do lots of things together and he is my best friend. It’s just that we are roommates and not lovers.
Help.
Here’s what I’ve tried: instigating (nope- he is not interested And has physically pushed me off of him for any small touch), talking about it (nope- won’t have it. Best discussion ever he said he was just tired. It used to be a cause of argument but I quit even bringing it up because it is so painful), losing weight ( I lost a lot of weight but was still not appealing to my husband), went to counseling (just me-which helped. He refuses to talk about it), made doctor appointments for husband and asked for all bloodwork and to talk about libido with doc), talked to a priest( big mistake- husband didn’t talk to me for a month), start conversations about when we first met and talk about how we fell in love (helps me but not sure about him), ask for back rub for physical touch (3-4 minutes if I’m lucky), I go get a massage when I feel we can afford it so I can at least have physical touch (not sexual at all). This past year we have been intimate 5 times- every one of them I asked for and got a “sigh” and was obligated. It hurts so much to be rejected and not wanted.
Yes, I pray constantly. Yup, I’ve done multiple novenas. My husband also has had a problem with pornography. Several years ago I confronted this and was checking the computer to hold him accountable. He created a secret account and lied to me about it. I’m not sure if he is still using.
I will also say there is additional stress with a son who is mentally ill.
At what point do I give up? We do lots of things together and he is my best friend. It’s just that we are roommates and not lovers.
Help.
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