'Sexy' Vatican video hits sour note in attempt to include women

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While we’re on the subject, can we please agree that believing that women deserve to be heard within the Church, that they deserve recognition and respect for the many roles they play inside and outside the Church, and that they deserve to be spoken to as equals (not condescendingly, not as if they’re the whip cream to your lemon meringue or the sprinkles to your ice cream) is NOT the same as advocating for female ordination or claiming that men and women are “the same”? Can we? Please?
Thank you… I could personally care less about being a priest. I do care about being respected as an individual and about who I am, not who the Church or Pope Francis thinks an idealized version of a woman should be. I’ve spent decades being told by Catholic men (and their female allies) that there are certain things that women cannot do in the Church like getting a graduate degree and I’d feel much better if I was a stay at home mommy instead.
 
I think that this is a helpful link that provides some background into what I am trying to talk about. Gender stereotypes, even positive ones, are considered a form of sexism; it is considered benevolent sexism rather than hostile sexism. blogs.scientificamerican.com/psysociety/2013/04/02/benevolent-sexism/

After reading this link, does this sound like what the author is talking about?
We cannot forget the irreplaceable role of women in the family. The qualities of gentleness, of particular sensitivity and tenderness, which is abundant in the female soul, represent not only a genuine force for the life of families, for the irradiation of a climate of peace and harmony, but also a reality without which the human vocation would be unfeasible.- Pope Francis
en.radiovaticana.va/news/2015/02/07/pope_urges_more_widespread_and_incisive_female_presence_/1122079
 
Wait, so the problem is that she’s attractive? I don’t understand all the cringing and criticism. To me it just looks like a woman talking.
 
Wait, so the problem is that she’s attractive? I don’t understand all the cringing and criticism. To me it just looks like a woman talking.
Exactly. As far as I can tell it’s more about church bashing than about women. They have to keep up the image of the Church being deaf to women, even if it means cutting off her ears. :whacky:

Besides, we can’t let the church hear the opinions of “just any woman” because then we wouldn’t need the loud and obnoxious ones to speak “on their behalf” as they have to date. :rolleyes:
 
I think that this is a helpful link that provides some background into what I am trying to talk about. Gender stereotypes, even positive ones, are considered a form of sexism; it is considered benevolent sexism rather than hostile sexism. blogs.scientificamerican.com/psysociety/2013/04/02/benevolent-sexism/

After reading this link, does this sound like what the author is talking about?

en.radiovaticana.va/news/2015/02/07/pope_urges_more_widespread_and_incisive_female_presence_/1122079
It is time for a definition of terms. If by “sexism” you mean a belief that there is a fundamental difference in the genders, put me down with St. John Paul as being sexists, as well as God who specifically made us male an female. The definition in the research was:
We define benevolent sexism as a set of interrelated attitudes toward women that are sexist in terms of viewing women stereotypically and in restricted roles but that are subjectively positive in feeling tone (for the perceiver) and also tend to elicit behaviors typically categorized as prosocial (e.g., helping) or intimacy-seeking (e.g., self-disclosure) (Glick & Fiske, 1996, p. 491).
[Benevolent sexism is] a subjectively positive orientation of protection, idealization, and affection directed toward women that, like hostile sexism, serves to justify women’s subordinate status to men (Glick et al., 2000, p. 763).
This is so subjective as to be ridiculously unscientific.
 
Benevolent sexism leads to the idea that girls cannot do things or it isn’t ladylike to do certain things. One place where this comes up quite often is in the area of STEM subjects and is a huge part of the article that I linked to about benevolent sexism. Girls aren’t interested in STEM subjects because they are told that these are things that girls should be interested in or dissuaded from it because it isn’t “cool.” Girls are also encouraged to be less assertive and to not stand up for themselves. They are also told that it is less safe for them to do things like travel alone or even live alone. So yes, it does have consequences.

The Church promoting fluffy, tender, and docile women means that it wants to dissuade women from going into high paying “men’s” fields in the sciences and technology, wants them less able to assert their rights and opinions, and less willing to take risks and be independent. It wants them to be docile mommies and housewives because this is what supposedly makes women happy.
 
Benevolent sexism leads to the idea that girls cannot do things or it isn’t ladylike to do certain things. One place where this comes up quite often is in the area of STEM subjects and is a huge part of the article that I linked to about benevolent sexism. Girls aren’t interested in STEM subjects because they are told that these are things that girls should be interested in or dissuaded from it because it isn’t “cool.” Girls are also encouraged to be less assertive and to not stand up for themselves. They are also told that it is less safe for them to do things like travel alone or even live alone. So yes, it does have consequences.
That makes sense.
The Church promoting fluffy, tender, and docile women means that it wants to dissuade women from going into high paying “men’s” fields in the sciences and technology, wants them less able to assert their rights and opinions, and less willing to take risks and be independent. It wants them to be docile mommies and housewives because this is what supposedly makes women happy.
This is an assumption the “the Church” does, and an image that maybe participants in the invitation could have conveyed – given a chance, i.e. if they had known the invitation even existed. To me it’s an example of “leaders” of women, seeing to it that the “masses” of women don’t get direct (name removed by moderator)ut – even if we suspect that (name removed by moderator)ut is not being taken as seriously as it should by those asking. It’s up to the responders to do their best to convey it – not for “leaders” to silence them because the invitation didn’t apparently meet certain “criteria.”

Because all that does is not only perpetuate the status quo by failing to inform the Church of this view, it perpetuates the view that women are more interested in arguing over the content of a “too sexy” video – whatever perv (and/or angry person) came up with the idea that it was “too sexy” in the first place.

So I’m back to the point of why don’t women say these things and tell the Vatican? Oh, I know – because “leaders of women” have seen to it that they were not invited to speak at all. Who knows if there will be another one any time soon – like if Francis dies or gets “taken out” and another more “conservative” pope takes his place. 🤷
 
I don’t think that Francis is liberal especially with regards to women or actually interested in hearing the voices of women who may be critical of the Church’s idea of complementarity. He is basically Benedict with a better PR team. In fact, I think that Francis might actually have more retrograde attitudes toward women than his predecessor (but I never understood most of what came out of Benedict’s mouth so I cannot confirm it.)

And the idea of submitting a video is silly. I’d be more than happy to fill out a survey, write something down, or even provide concrete recommendations if asked. However, I doubt that they want to hear it.
 
The Church promoting fluffy, tender, and docile women means that it wants… wants. It wants …
However, I doubt that they want to hear it.
I can guarantee that there is no one, man, woman or in between, that wants to hear someone tell them what it is they want. No, the Church does not want these things for women and is not evil in the way that you are assuming her to be. I do no know the acronym STEM, but the only job the Church does not want women to want is that which involves ordination.

Are *you *open to other people telling you what you really think, mean and feel when you know it is just a perception on their part? Think how it makes you feel when people here categorize you and extrapolate from that category opinions and motives that are both false and uncharitable.
 
I don’t think that Francis is liberal especially with regards to women or actually interested in hearing the voices of women who may be critical of the Church’s idea of complementarity. He is basically Benedict with a better PR team. In fact, I think that Francis might actually have more retrograde attitudes toward women than his predecessor (but I never understood most of what came out of Benedict’s mouth so I cannot confirm it.)
It’s always hard to reverse engineer whatever we see on video etc. and know what’s really going on behind the scenes. And yeah at least we have some idea what he’s trying to say, whether we like it or not. 😃
And the idea of submitting a video is silly. I’d be more than happy to fill out a survey, write something down, or even provide concrete recommendations if asked. However, I doubt that they want to hear it.
Wasn’t there actually a huge Catholic survey on “the family” done recently? Maybe it was only in the US? It seems like it was world-wide, but for some reason our family didn’t personally take it.

And sure the video thing could be silly, but I never write off any chance to “plant a seed.” Maybe that’s an evolutionary thing as a male that I think of; for a male, plant seeds everywhere and maybe some of them will grow and pass on a legacy. For a woman, “making a legacy” involves a commitment of more than five minutes per unit. Could that actually be part of the reason we see this differently, you as an “insult” and me as an “opportunity?” I mean, what if one person just really “gets it through” like we see on YouTube all the time these days? What if one woman just said one thing that made sense to even a single cardinal?

Of course one has to balance the time investment. If my opinion is probably worth nothing, but potentially a lot, then how much time does it make sense to allot toward the task? Like if I can just shoot a video in one minute and send it in, what the heck? People publish what they are having for dinner why is that a big deal? But if it means doing a lot of souls searching and putting it into just the right words and producing it just so – is it worth that effort? And if that effort is put into it, would that increase the chance it would actually “have a positive impact?”

So we can do risk and cost/benefit analysis, but if we’re talking about long shots, the mathematical answer to finding a long shot, is to have a great number of entrants.

But maybe it’s my engineering mindset, and not my “male” mindset, that wants to see a solution to any given set of “conditions” and given “requirements” to be met. 😉
 
I can guarantee that there is no one, man, woman or in between, that wants to hear someone tell them what it is they want. No, the Church does not want these things for women and is not evil in the way that you are assuming her to be. I do no know the acronym STEM, but the only job the Church does not want women to want is that which involves ordination.

Are *you *open to other people telling you what you really think, mean and feel when you know it is just a perception on their part? Think how it makes you feel when people here categorize you and extrapolate from that category opinions and motives that are both false and uncharitable.
Look… I had high hopes that Pope Francis would at least treat women as adults rather than condescending to us like we were little children. So I’ve been disappointed with his rhetoric toward women more than anyone else since he thought it necessary to be demeaning toward the Italian female reporter in June rather than treating her like a professional and thought it was hilarious to make sexist jokes about housekeepers rather than answering her question about women in the Church. I’m not putting words and thoughts in anyone’s head; I’m basing my opinions on the Pope’s own words.

I really don’t think that Francis sees women as strong and capable individuals; I think that he sees us as delicate hot house flowers or princesses in towers who need strong men to protect us. I also think that he only sees the value to women in our fertility and potential to be mothers, not in our individual ideas and talents.
 
Look… I had high hopes that Pope Francis would at least treat women as adults rather than condescending to us like we were little children. …
I really don’t think that Francis sees women as strong and capable individuals; I think that he sees us as delicate hot house flowers or princesses in towers who need strong men to protect us. I also think that he only sees the value to women in our fertility and potential to be mothers, not in our individual ideas and talents.
No one’s opinion about what another thinks is relevant, including your and including mine. The chance for error when assigning motives is too great. If what one has to say about women is grounded in a false assignment of motives and ill intent, then it is errant from the start.

No, we do not need to stereotype women as overly-sensitive and jumping to take offense at the slightest provocation.

Ironic, no?:rolleyes:
 
Look… I had high hopes that Pope Francis would at least treat women as adults rather than condescending to us like we were little children. So I’ve been disappointed with his rhetoric toward women more than anyone else since he thought it necessary to be demeaning toward the Italian female reporter in June rather than treating her like a professional and thought it was hilarious to make sexist jokes about housekeepers rather than answering her question about women in the Church. I’m not putting words and thoughts in anyone’s head; I’m basing my opinions on the Pope’s own words.

I really don’t think that Francis sees women as strong and capable individuals; I think that he sees us as delicate hot house flowers or princesses in towers who need strong men to protect us. I also think that he only sees the value to women in our fertility and potential to be mothers, not in our individual ideas and talents.
God uses broken people to do His work all the time. Even popes. I’m sorry this one isn’t living up to your expectations; overall I think he was very needed for the Church in general. As far as women’s issues within the Church, I’m not sure if you are more upset because you don’t like the way Francis thinks, or if there are specific issues that you do not see being addressed. For example if you’re talking about women ordination, I don’t think Francis could pull that one off even if he wanted to, because he may be in charge but he still has plenty of opposition all around him.

Believe it or not, it is possible for a man to open his eyes – or so I’ve heard. 😉
 
No one’s opinion about what another thinks is relevant, including your and including mine. The chance for error when assigning motives is too great. If what one has to say about women is grounded in a false assignment of motives and ill intent, then it is errant from the start.

No, we do not need to stereotype women as overly-sensitive and jumping to take offense at the slightest provocation.

Ironic, no?:rolleyes:
:sad_yes:
 
No one’s opinion about what another thinks is relevant, including your and including mine. The chance for error when assigning motives is too great. If what one has to say about women is grounded in a false assignment of motives and ill intent, then it is errant from the start.

No, we do not need to stereotype women as overly-sensitive and jumping to take offense at the slightest provocation.

Ironic, no?:rolleyes:
If Pope Francis was a corporate CEO, he would have been sent to sensitivity training and probably fired by now because of his rhetoric. So no, I don’t think that I am being overly sensitive.
 
God uses broken people to do His work all the time. Even popes. I’m sorry this one isn’t living up to your expectations; overall I think he was very needed for the Church in general. As far as women’s issues within the Church, I’m not sure if you are more upset because you don’t like the way Francis thinks, or if there are specific issues that you do not see being addressed. For example if you’re talking about women ordination, I don’t think Francis could pull that one off even if he wanted to, because he may be in charge but he still has plenty of opposition all around him.

Believe it or not, it is possible for a man to open his eyes – or so I’ve heard. 😉
I’d like the Catholic Church to see and honor me and other women as individuals with gifts that may or may not adhere to certain “stereotypes” rather than walking wombs. The Church certain doesn’t focus entirely on the man’s role in the baby making process and make his entire identity about impregnating women so I think that the same consideration should be made for women. We have identities outside motherhood that are important. And I’d like Pope Francis to view professional women as professionals, not mommies, and to not be dismissive of their intellect and experience. As someone who has been dismissed in my life because I am petite woman who looks young (I get the sweetie treatment alot), I really don’t appreciate the feeling.
 
If Pope Francis was a corporate CEO, he would have been sent to sensitivity training and probably fired by now because of his rhetoric. So no, I don’t think that I am being overly sensitive.
In what country? I don’t know how they “do things” in other countries, with respect to women’s attitudes – except they run the full range. Some places they can’t even uncover themselves. Others they can’t drive. Maybe he’s a jerk; I don’t know. But still I don’t get why being angry about chances you don’t have to communicate, should prevent making use of those chances that are given – even if a joke at least call their bluff and then they can’t brand you as some angry person who didn’t speak up when asked. Not to say that shoe would fit, but just from their perspective.
I’d like the Catholic Church to see and honor me and other women as individuals with gifts that may or may not adhere to certain “stereotypes” rather than walking wombs. The Church certain doesn’t focus entirely on the man’s role in the baby making process and make his entire identity about impregnating women so I think that the same consideration should be made for women. We have identities outside motherhood that are important. And I’d like Pope Francis to view professional women as professionals, not mommies, and to not be dismissive of their intellect and experience. As someone who has been dismissed in my life because I am petite woman who looks young (I get the sweetie treatment alot), I really don’t appreciate the feeling.
I have complete empathy for being treated with no respect. For you, I can see being small is an issue; I have a friend both in the parish and IRL where the girls are very short and sometimes they post some pretty ironic memes about it. For me it was for completely different reasons. I understand about bureaucracies and the frustration.

But call their bluff. Answer the surveys if there are some. If you don’t do that, then you validate their ability to say, “why should we listen to those who don’t answer when we ask?” You have to be able to beat them on their turf. Because until you can get control, they have control. They aren’t going to move to your place any time soon according to you, so unless you engage them in theirs, you are just shouting to the wind IMO. And which is the more fundamental goal for the cause of feminism – being angry, or playing smart? It is possible to do both. 😉

MS
 
If Pope Francis was a corporate CEO, he would have been sent to sensitivity training and probably fired by now because of his rhetoric. So no, I don’t think that I am being overly sensitive.
No, he would not. That is your rather singular opinion. It is quite clear that you are very prejudicial on this matter. Who needs sensitivity training: the man who is kindness is taking as being condescension, or the woman who does not allow for theological opinions not her own?

If it was my call, as a person that deals with this, I would view dealing with the overly sensitive woman to be the greater challenge than someone for being too nice. I would never, ever, recommend training for that. Sensitivity training is for those who are offensive, not for those who offend. Some people cannot help being offended and will always be offended. For those, it is their issue I would address.

The Catholic Church will always honor the role of mother and their role in being able to bring life into the world, making them co-creators with God. If you find this offensive, it is you that lacks a sense of diversity, being intolerant of Catholicism.
 
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