Should I be friends with homosexuals?

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michael7777 said:
Lol! Hoosier Daddy you are one funny guy. Well, look I think it is odd too. Ok. This whole thing was extremely confusing to me. Why do have such a hard time all my life with homosexuals being my friends? I honestly don’t know. Yes, my spiritual director said that homosexual men are drawn to men they think are good looking, However, that was not the point of me starting this thread. I just wanted to share my thoughts on why I am not friends with them anymore and encourage other Catholics to stay away from bad company. And yes, I wanted others (name removed by moderator)ut on this, since it was really hard for me to give up my friends, I felt like a jerk.
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Are you effeminate?

Are you a “tender soul”

I still don’t buy your self assessment. Or really the entire premise of the thread…
 
I don’t understand why what they do in their bedroom matters at all to your friendship, unless you’re involved in their bedroom. Which I assume you’re not.

We aren’t given many chances in life to meet good, decent friends. A friend you can count on is one of the most precious things in the world. Due to your devout beliefs, if the topic of sex comes up you can be honest. But if it never does, how could their gayness impact anything, with regard to being good friends, besides themselves?
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Are you effeminate?

Are you a “tender soul”

I still don’t buy your self assessment. Or really the entire premise of the thread…
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Maybe I have some pheromone that attracts these guys. Not sure. Anyways, yes I am a ‘tender soul.’ I am a nice and caring and compassionate guy. Homosexuals I guess like that.
 
Rhubarb said:
I don’t understand why what they do in their bedroom matters at all to your friendship, unless you’re involved in their bedroom. Which I assume you’re not.

We aren’t given many chances in life to meet good, decent friends. A friend you can count on is one of the most precious things in the world. Due to your devout beliefs, if the topic of sex comes up you can be honest. But if it never does, how could their gayness impact anything, with regard to being good friends, besides themselves?
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Yes, I care about what my friends do in the bedroom. Look, like I said one time, I caught my friend looking at “Gay Cowboy Porn,” he had it on his phone when I looked at his phone, to look up a phone number on the internet. This seriously bothered me, and disgusted me. I was a rancher at the time. It completely freaked me out.

Most of these friends were my best friends since childhood. I really didn’t want to give them up. But I thought homosexuality was too weird, and sinful, so I gave them up. Plus, they were bad company in other ways. And I didn’t like that, so I gave them up. They were mad at me for not accepting their “lifestyle.” But they said they understood, Catholics don’t accept things like that.
 
I will just be really honest with you why I think I attract so many people who have same sex attraction. *** I am a vulnerable guy.*** These homosexual guys want me in their bed. They think “hey, this guy never had gay sex before” and they like that and want me. That is what I think, which disgusts me. Finally I was honest with you. And yes, these homosexual men tell me all the time, what a good looking guy I am. I don’t think I am good looking, but these men think so. So, no, I am not going to be their friend. Weirdos. I like women, and more to the point I like God, and my Catholic faith, which says, homosexuality is definitely not permitted.

I guess I could try and be less vulnerable, to steer away people who have same sex attraction. I tried that before, but I am simply a vulnerable, humble guy. That is not going to change.
 
I don’t see an issue. I have a friend who is homosexual, but I just try to be her friend and not judge. She knows I’m a Catholic and respects me, so I give her the same respect. However, I do pray for her. 🙂
 
ToeInTheWater said:
And what if the gays you so compassionately admit are people, are actual family members of yours? Would you also recommend limiting your interaction to that of a mere acquaintance?
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That is an admittedly a different situation. Just don’t get involved in the sin. You’re not having illicit relations with family I don’t hope. That’s another thing. I have never been in that situation. I know of my Grandmother’s niece who is bi or homosexual but I don’t know her. Many don’t approve of everyone in their family either.
 
hu324b said:
Sounds like from the very beginning you had already decide what you are going to do I understand what you are saying and I see your concerns . before you do drop these people from your life consider first whether your are there possibly to draw these people to Christ and that won’t happen over night it will be a hard difficult journey God asks people sometimes to do these difficult things - its sound from what you said that people are drawn to you - but in the end if you feel in your heart you are to follow another path and God is calling you away from this then you must follow that direction. God will must be done in you life.

I ended up following a path I never thought was meant for me or thought that i would be able to do but now I know I was made for it. Jesus walks with me in it and and through him I am able to do it. On my own I could not do it so the glory is his in anything I do.
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😦 Circular reasoning.
 
michael7777 said:
I will just be really honest with you why I think I attract so many people who have same sex attraction. *** I am a vulnerable guy.*** These homosexual guys want me in their bed. They think “hey, this guy never had gay sex before” and they like that and want me. That is what I think, which disgusts me. Finally I was honest with you. And yes, these homosexual men tell me all the time, what a good looking guy I am. I don’t think I am good looking, but these men think so. So, no, I am not going to be their friend. Weirdos. I like women, and more to the point I like God, and my Catholic faith, which says, homosexuality is definitely not permitted.

I guess I could try and be less vulnerable, to steer away people who have same sex attraction. I tried that before, but I am simply a vulnerable, humble guy. That is not going to change.
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🤷 Vulnerability is a different situation. These guys are probably playing games with you. And laughing behind your back. Vulnerable people some do seem to see “coming a mile away.” These people don’t sound like your friends. Do you know who your friends are? In this life, if you’re lucky you might have one or extremely lucky two friends. Don’t expect more. I am very demanding of people myself.
 
michael7777 said:
I will just be really honest with you why I think I attract so many people who have same sex attraction. *** I am a vulnerable guy.*** These homosexual guys want me in their bed. They think “hey, this guy never had gay sex before” and they like that and want me. That is what I think, which disgusts me. Finally I was honest with you. And yes, these homosexual men tell me all the time, what a good looking guy I am. I don’t think I am good looking, but these men think so. So, no, I am not going to be their friend. Weirdos. I like women, and more to the point I like God, and my Catholic faith, which says, homosexuality is definitely not permitted.

I guess I could try and be less vulnerable, to steer away people who have same sex attraction. I tried that before, but I am simply a vulnerable, humble guy. That is not going to change.
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This comes off as incredibly ego driven to assume that every gay guy wants to sleep with you. Are you attracted to every single woman you see? I would highly doubt it so don’t assume that the only thing gay people thing about is sex 24/7. We get your point. You think you shouldn’t be friends with ‘those weirdos.’ How about let this thread die.
 
michael7777 said:
Yes, I care about what my friends do in the bedroom. Look, like I said one time, I caught my friend looking at “Gay Cowboy Porn,” he had it on his phone when I looked at his phone, to look up a phone number on the internet. This seriously bothered me, and disgusted me. I was a rancher at the time. It completely freaked me out.

Most of these friends were my best friends since childhood. I really didn’t want to give them up. But I thought homosexuality was too weird, and sinful, so I gave them up. Plus, they were bad company in other ways. And I didn’t like that, so I gave them up. They were mad at me for not accepting their “lifestyle.” But they said they understood, Catholics don’t accept things like that.
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If someone isn’t your friend they aren’t your friend. Attachments are your issues. Not an issue of someone outside.
 
Thorolfr said:
I wonder if straight men are drawn to women they think are good looking or beautiful? 😉
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I know I am ! And I am as straight as an arrow. But I don’t bother people, nor am I really looking for a woman. As the OP isn’t. Looks can become pretty superficial after you get to know someone a bit and they’re totally not right. If you are in Christ you will get what you need when you need it. It isn’t meant for everyone to get married. “My peace I have my peace I give you.” 👍
 
michael7777 said:
Someone commented on the old-bible passage that modernists and relativists love, “Don’t judge.” Well to this I would say this bible passage deals with the fact that we are not supposed to judge someone’s eternal fate, meaning we don’t judge their heart to see if they have full knowledge of the gravity of the sin and we don’t judge if that person has full consent of the will (maybe they commit homosexuality out of some psychological problem or out of fear or pressure). But we should judge whether a sin is objectively grave matter, which homosexuality is a grave matter and shouldn’t be taken lightly. I am so glad I was somehow spared from this sin.
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Slight nitpick. Homosexuality is not a sin. Homosexual actions (sex, etc) are a sin. The following article is very insightful.

ewtn.com/library/HUMANITY/homo14.htm
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Yes. And a slight nitpick to that is homosexuality while not sinful is disordered.
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So is kleptomania. Homosexuality is objectively disordered, meaning it is directed towards acts not consistent with God’s order. But you say disordered as if it is a personal fault with the one who is homosexual. That’s not what the Church teaches.
 
StudentMI said:
So is kleptomania. Homosexuality is objectively disordered, meaning it is directed towards acts not consistent with God’s order. But you say disordered as if it is a personal fault with the one who is homosexual. That’s not what the Church teaches.
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No, I said disordered exactly as you describe. It’s the very definition of disordered.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
No, I said disordered exactly as you describe. It’s the very definition of disordered.
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Then why mention it in response to what I posted? That article says as much, and also adds the orientation itself is morally neutral. Disordered does not necessarily denote moral this or that.
 
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