Should I say something about my weird priest encounter?

  • Thread starter Thread starter WillPhillips
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Yeah, it’s impossible. It just seems like the priest should.have a chance to refute any claims before OP goes to the bishop.
 
The church wants these things reported. Have you been safe environment trained?
 
There’s nothing wrong with reporting, but creating imaginary scenarios is unnecessary.
 
I’m thinking: What’s the age difference between 12th grade and college kids? Bc the OP mentioned the other hot tubber at the motel being a college age kids.

I had a temp teacher who was fired for grooming and misusing trust in a homosexual way, I was 15 and as a girl not targeted. As an adult, I can acknowledge that that exact power/trust difference is a turn-on for some people, but as long as it’s kept as playacting between consenting adults it’s not really my business.
I have also notified their school when my kids on two occasions encountered overly-sexual, not-age-appropriate behaviour from classmates online/in texts, as a heads-up.

That it’s a priest isn’t really relevant, but being a teacher is.

So I would definitely report this as a ”I hope I’m wrong, but you-his-superior/employer should be aware of this weird and suspicious behaviour”.
 
I am not sure “seeing him bathing - nothing else - with another man” is reportable. I have nothing against reporting abusers, heck, I am all for it. But I do have something against making false accusations that could damage somebody’s life. There could have been a perfectly legit reason why they were there, or why he stood up and left immediately.
 
Other man, no. College age kid, maybe.
Just bathing, no. Getting out acting awkward when same age students happen by. At a hotel along the interstate.

It has nothing to do with the man being a priest. It has everything to do with circumstance. We’re not talking about a single dad taking his kids to the neighbourhood pool.

If I met a coworker or a parent of my kids’ classmates in a similar situation, it would at least ring ”This is odd!”-bells. If there was a legit reason, it’s fine. That’s perfectly possible and reasonable. But not even commenting on the ”this is odd/weird/unusual” is contributing to an atmosphere of silence.
 
Last edited:
Then, if you feel strongly about reporting it, then I guess you should do it the way the bible says:
  1. take it up with your neighbour (go and talk to the priest about it)
  2. if he doesn’t listen, bring a brother with you (don’t know, another priest maybe?)
  3. if he does not listen, take it up with the community.
 
Last edited:
There are age limits for many activities.
True you don’t develop magical powers in regard to voting when you turn 18, driving when you turn 16 (or whatever age), drinking when you are 18 or 21 as the case may be, or being President when you’re 35.

For convenience sake, however, we accept that people generally have enough skill/intelligence to make certain decisions and do certain things at around a certain age. So we allow our legislators to set things like an age of consent for sex.

Adult gay relationships are a different kettle of fish to a relationship with a minor. That’s WHY they aren’t illegal, nor subject to mandatory reporting or the like.
 
Actually, for a doctor to be in a sexual relationship with a current patient is indeed a serious breach and reportable. The sick are particularly vulnerable, so it is a serious abuse of trust.
 
LilyM said:
Adult gay relationships are a different kettle of fish to a relationship with a minor. That’s WHY they aren’t illegal, nor subject to mandatory reporting or the like.
Click to expand...
Were you ever an 18-year-old gay teenager hopefully entering the seminary to serve God’s Church? I see absolutely no reason that we should describe such a teenager’s being seduced by a 50-year-old as an “adult gay relationship”. We are supposed to be in the world, not of the world.
 
For everyone claiming “adult relationships” are different from children, let us remember that a good part of McCarrick’s interactions were with adult seminarians.
 
And if it were an 18 year old female no-one - NO ONE - would be accusing this priest of being a threat to little girls. Case closed.
 
LilyM said:
And if it were an 18 year old female no-one - NO ONE - would be accusing this priest of being a threat to little girls. Case closed.
Click to expand...
That’s probably true, but the OP said the priest is at a high school now. The age difference between college age and high school age is not that large. He’s not talking about little children. Whether it was same sex or opposite sex, I can understand why the OP is wondering about it.
 
My father met my then 18 year old mother when he was her tutor at university. I can assure you no-one would have batted an eyelid had he started teaching at a high school!
 
Last edited:
Heck, our OP said that he and his guy friends were going to use the hot tub. I wonder how any of those young men would feel if they now worked at a high school and were called into their’ boss’s office tomorrow “we have a report that when you were in college on several occasions you were seen going into a hotel to use the hot tub with other males. Your mannerisms were observed to be suspicious, as if you were ‘sneeking’ around. A complaint has been lodged against you for this suspicious activity and you are going to be removed from your job.”
 
Doesn’t prove much except that one abuser (McCarrick) msybe had trouble with both adults and children. Not followed his case that closely. And I’'ve not seen any evidence that it’s anywhere near common enough to justify the reaction.

For the record, any sexual relationship is very problematic for a celibate priest. If it were a 30-year-old female parishioner I’d be concerned too, and possibly report it. But I wouldn’t be drawing conclusions about his posting a threat to schoolkids.
 
Last edited:
LilyM said:
one abuser (McCarrick) had trouble with both adults and children
Click to expand...
I don’t think McCarrick was that isolated or odd of a case. The only odd part about it was that he ended up rising to the level of Cardinal despite repeated issues.

Also, I don’t think the concern here is for “schoolkids” so much as it is specifically for young men of age 16, 17, 18 in a high school.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top