Should I say something about my weird priest encounter?

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Prodigal_Son said:
A priest taking a teenager to a hotel is just a biiiiiit suspicious.
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It was a young guy, not an underaged individual from the OP.

I don’t think its the job of the Faithful to police the priests and snitch on them for “suspicious” activity.

If it was a child molestation situation, sure, it should have been immediately reported.

But that wasn’t this at all.
 
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m picturing a communal facility open to all guests of the hotel. I’ve seen plenty such attached to health clubs and even public pools at well as hotels.

The sort that whole families might jump in after they’ve had a swim. All clad in swimwear and no more sordid than the hotel pool. The sort that I would probably never use precisely because of how likely you are to have the un-relaxing and un-private experience of strangers barging in.

I’d you’re picturing anything else, then a) there’s no justification for you doing so and b) it’s not a matter of me being overly innocent.
 
Why wouldn’t the priest greet the OP and introduce his friend, then?
 
Augustinian said:
It was a young guy, not an underaged individual from the OP.

I don’t think its the job of the Faithful to police the priests and snitch on them for “suspicious” activity.

If it was a child molestation situation, sure, it should have been immediately reported.

But that wasn’t this at all.
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To be clear, are you saying that it should have been immediately reported if the priest had been with a 15-year-old, but not with an 18-year-old? Or are you saying that neither should have been reported, given this amount of evidence (sitting in the tub at a hotel and getting up quickly and awkwardly)?
 
Prodigal_Son said:
I’m just guessing he would have introduced his brother.
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It’s not a good idea to guess, especially if three guys descend on one communal hot tub already occupied by two, in a motel that the priest may have been seeking a bit of privacy from his dorm roommates.

Maybe he wanted peace, quiet , solitude,

Maybe the other young guy was a motel guest who he just met in the communal hot tub.
Sounds like that hot tub was like Bourke Street
 
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There’s a thought. May have been someone unknown to the priest, or maybe the priest thought they already knew each other or something.
 
I would assume the motel was open for the travelling passing trade. I wonder how much the hot tub cost to sit in. They said they snuck out, not snuck in, so they were then, paying for their tub.
 
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Wow lots of responses. It’s interesting to see how we change over time. When before I would reach for ways to confirm my belief/trust in this man. Now my approach feels more critical (more honest?). It feels good to become more aware of my own biases.

I’ll be going to the Bishop. If this priest has other complaints against him, perhaps this will help others.

I’m curious what, if any, response I’ll get. Will let you know.
 
Was the guy in the hot tub with the priest over 18? If so, I don’t see the reason to say anything. Especially if it happened so long ago.
 
Iris said:
Was the guy in the hot tub with the priest over 18? If so, I don’t see the reason to say anything. Especially if it happened so long ago.
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I guess I don’t see much difference if he was 18 or not. “My” priest was in a hot tub by the interstate with a guy/boy likely half his age. He knew we saw something and left awkwardly as a result (never mentioning it to us). I’m guessing he’s glad we never said anything.
 
“Awkward” or “embarrassed” doesn’t mean “morally wrong”.

If someone caught me picking my nose, or accidentally walked in on me while I was on the can, you bet I’d be embarrassed, possibly too much so to say anything. Doesn’t mean I was doing anything sinful!

And yes, some people, including those who aren’t priests, might be shy and self-conscious enough that they don’t enjoy being seen in swimwear.
 
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Unless you have some evidence or actually witnessed something dodgy then no, you shouldn’t report it.
False or incomplete allegations have the potential to ruin someone’s life.
 
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My husband and I were at the spa one day sitting in the jacuzzi. Who should come into the jacuzzi but a priest from our church. I felt really uncomfortable and left shortly afterwards. Absolutely Nothing untoward was happening. It doesn’t mean anything.
 
Honestly surprised at these responses. Or I guess disappointed. Maybe the PA report isn’t so surprising given this environment.

And no, reporting a priest in a hot tub…late at night…in an interstate motel…with a young man half his age…who left awkwardly and never mentioned it…will most definitely NOT ruin his life. It was just a hot tub.

I mean, look at all the priests who were actually credibly accused in the PA report (300) vs actual indictments (2).

What it may do, however, is potentially connect some dots, and prevent others from putting blind trust in these men who claim to be our moral teachers and leaders.
 
WillPhillips said:
And no, reporting a priest in a hot tub…late at night…in an interstate motel…with a young man half his age…who left awkwardly and never mentioned it…will most definitely NOT ruin his life. It was just a hot tub.
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Totally agree. And if some insanely zealous bishop makes it ruin his life, that’s not your fault at all.
 
A priest who hangs out in hotel hot tubs with college aged folk is not exercising good judgment. It would be equally poor judgment if he had a college girl with him. It is not inherently sinful.

I would write a letter to the bishop and or vicar for priests describing the incident and only the incident. No commentary or extrapolation.

He will not be punished for it but if other people have said similar things, it shows a pattern of poor judgment if not unchastity.
 
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Deditus_Domina said:
A priest who hangs out in hotel hot tubs with college aged folk is not exercising good judgment.
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According to the original post, when the folks from the college dorm showed up, the priest got up and left. Another man also left.
 
I wouldn’t be so fast to suppose that the priest and the young man in the hot tub were necessarily up to anything more than you and your buddies were up to in the hot tub. Not all people who spend some relaxing time together are up to any sort of sexual activity, and I would like to think at least that there can be more to us than that. Everyone wants companionship and it can be on many levels other than a sexual basis. On the other hand, if they were doing something sexual and both were of age and mutually consenting, I don’t see a crime to report, although it may be a moral issue for the participants. Moreover, there just doesn’t seem to be a lot of information here though. While I am very concerned about the abuses that have been going on for many years, I would be careful not to jump to conclusions with out better evidence.

All the best!
 
Maybe some day soon, there will be a post on Catholic Answers that reads like this:

I’ve been a small-town priest for over 10 years. One time, when I was a fairly new priest, my sister and brother-in-law and their kids came to town and stayed at the motel out by the highway. We had such a great visit that weekend! We went out for pizza and just hung out and it was super-relaxing. I went swimming at the motel with my nieces and nephews and then sat in the hot tub with my nephew who was asking me about colleges and stuff. The strange part is this – unexpectedly, some male college students I knew came in to the pool area and over to the hot tub. It was a really awkward situation and I think they were super-uncomfortable with the fact that I’d seen them there. I don’t think they expected me to be there and they were acting extremely awkward and I’m guessing they were there without paying. I got up and left because it was so uncomfortable and I never mentioned it again. Should I have talked to them about this and maybe counseled them to go back to the motel to pay for the times they may have used the pool without paying?
 
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