Single Catholics-a Catholic woman should be passive?

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truetofaith said:
I am very sorry about your medical problems, I wasn’t aware of them…😊

As to my petty sarcasm, I was referring to how you said the guy was lucky he left in one piece. It sounded like he was teasing & you sounded superior.
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How would you know what he sounded like? :confused: She was there and you weren’t. And nothing that juliamajor posted indicated she was or thought she was superior. She was assertive and expressed her dismay that anyone would suggest such a thing.

Even if he was joking, what he said and your defense of it are kind of reinforcing to me that the guys who say they want passive women really do. It appears that women contradicting a man or being assertive is unnerving to some men. Your petty correction of juliamafor’s spelling of one word also points to that. It really doesn’t matter if someone is dealing with serious health issues or not it’s petty. You knew what she meant, yes?
 
Bruised_Reed said:
How would you know what he sounded like? :confused: She was there and you weren’t. And nothing that juliamajor posted indicated she was or thought she was superior. She was assertive and expressed her dismay that anyone would suggest such a thing.

Even if he was joking, what he said and your defense of it are kind of reinforcing to me that the guys who say they want passive women really do. It appears that a woman contradicting a man or being assertive is unnerving to some men. Your petty correction of juliamafor’s spelling of one word also points to that. It really doesn’t matter if someone is dealing with serious health issues or not it’s petty. You knew what she meant, yes?
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truetofaith said:
“makes guys look bad if a bunch of women beat there butts” - Quote, juliamajor

Since you were on the dean’s list, you should check your grammar…it’s - their butts…but you were probably in a hurry. 😉

To the point, Col 3 : 18, Paul says…" Wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord… 19…Husbands, love your wives & do not be harsh with them."
1Peter 3 : 1 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands…etc.
The OP maybe used the wrong word. 🤷
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truetofaith said:
I am very sorry about your medical problems, I wasn’t aware of them…😊

As to my petty sarcasm, I was referring to how you said the guy was lucky he left in one piece. It sounded like he was teasing & you sounded superior.
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Believe me he wasn’t teasing , he was dead serious.He wanted to be a doctor so being a “Stepford wife” would be a great asset.A brainless Martha Stewart and a non threat by having no mind of one’s own.Believe me those kind of guys existed then and do now… Maybe I sounded superior. But I will never act less intelligent than I am. And I have a definite set opinions. My husband married me because I was different. I guess he’s right.But all of the woman in my family were ahead of their time Grandma was a Suffragette.But I really think she did that because she looked riding good onthe float and her father forbade her to do it.
Mom worked and because my mom had been a professional dancer in her youth, she still loved to dance but dad was terrible at it.So on weekends mom would go to the nearest dance
Hall and dance with anyone who asked.Dad thought that was a great arrangement.Independent, individual, and indifferent to whatever anyone thought of them. So I had to turn out as a bright, hold no punches , and will take challenges that nobody thinks I can do , brat.
My family wouldn’t have me any other way.but I struggle when I do some introspection.
 
Xantippe said:
Isn’t it nice of them to make it clear who you shouldn’t date?

That’s really helpful.

They’re also being stupid. A passive woman will have a have a heck of a time dealing with tradesmen, household disasters, and difficult children.

Read Proverbs 31. Does she sound “passive.” Nope nope nope nope.

Good luck!
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Agreed.

However, not having actually seen these profile descriptions it’s really hard to generalize. Perhaps what is coming across as wanting a “passive” woman is actually a poorly expressed longing for a virtuous woman. A real Proverbs 31 woman.

Because, in our society feminism teaches women to be aggressive and to take on qualities that are not only unfeminine but downright vile. And, nothing is virtuous about THAT.
 
I understand you. I’m not passive too. I don’t think that this quality is necessary! I am also use dating services. And I met on one of them ( on https://kovla.com/datings/us/ to be specific) and he wasn’t looking for passive woman! I think it all depends on man’s temper. Maybe, if man is looking for passive woman(and you aren’t passive) it’s just not your man? Did you think about that?
 
Geeze… The things people list in qualities they want in another person. I am on 3 dating sites and all I really want is a Catholic woman with a heartbeat 😃

On Match.com the site even asks what is your ideal partners income level (As well as asks you for yours and you have the option if you want to share that info or not) . Some women are shameless in putting that they will only date men who make over 100k a year. Now I might understand that if she makes that much (I guess) but some of them do not make even close to that lol. But, yeah, some of those women are extremely attractive so they just might get what they want. Though I have seen some not so very attractive women list they they want the same.
 
LaughingBoy1503 said:
Geeze… The things people list in qualities they want in another person. I am on 3 dating sites and all I really want is a Catholic woman with a heartbeat 😃

On Match.com the site even asks what is your ideal partners income level (As well as asks you for yours and you have the option if you want to share that info or not) . Some women are shameless in putting that they will only date men who make over 100k a year. Now I might understand that if she makes that much (I guess) but some of them do not make even close to that lol. But, yeah, some of those women are extremely attractive so they just might get what they want. Though I have seen some not so very attractive women list they they want the same.
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That’s also very useful information, isn’t it?

I was just looking up US income stats. The top 20% of households make $100k or more–but that’s households, so it often reflects two earners.

For individual earners, it looks like the top 10% makes $114k a year or more. The top 5% is $160k or more. The top 1% is $380k or more.

financialsamurai.com/how-much-money-do-the-top-income-earners-make-percent/

However, while that would seem to qualify 10% of individual earners for your Match.com ladies, that’s probably too generous, as high-earners tend to be old.

theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/the-top-1-percentand-01-percentof-every-age-group-in-america/382094/

“The richest percentile of Americans makes many hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. So how could a $135,000 salary make you a one-percenter? If you’re 31 or younger, that figure puts you ahead of 99 percent of your age group.”

So, lots of luck ladies.
 
I don’t know what the opening post means by passive.
When it comes to her personality, a woman should be herself.
A man has a right to make his own choice on who he wants to marry on his own criteria.
 
Xantippe said:
That’s also very useful information, isn’t it?

I was just looking up US income stats. The top 20% of households make $100k or more–but that’s households, so it often reflects two earners.

For individual earners, it looks like the top 10% makes $114k a year or more. The top 5% is $160k or more. The top 1% is $380k or more.

financialsamurai.com/how-much-money-do-the-top-income-earners-make-percent/

However, while that would seem to qualify 10% of individual earners for your Match.com ladies, that’s probably too generous, as high-earners tend to be old.

theatlantic.com/business/archive/2014/10/the-top-1-percentand-01-percentof-every-age-group-in-america/382094/

“The richest percentile of Americans makes many hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. So how could a $135,000 salary make you a one-percenter? If you’re 31 or younger, that figure puts you ahead of 99 percent of your age group.”

So, lots of luck ladies.
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Hmmm, interesting. For the record, I have seen a lot of profiles from women on Match that say they make less than 25k a year but will only date someone who makes 75k or more a year. Once again, some very attractive thus making it more possible and some not very attractive making you think “Good luck”
 
Elena321 said:
Out of curiosity,i had a bit of a look at Catholic online dating and I noticed quite a few Catholic (or other Christian) men under list of qualities they are seeking in a woman that “passiveness” is one of them.
Are they for real?
I would say Im gentle and gentleness and kindness,compassion,feminity and strength etc are good in women but passiveness is not.
I take the meaning of passive to be weak and not trust or use your own mind or judgments.
Are they meaning something different then how I take the word to men or do some Christian men really want this in a woman-like some parent child relationship?:whacky:
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Truth be told, I like a certain healthy degree of insolence, stubbornness and contrarianism in a woman. 😛

Just kidding, but not every still unmarried guy is out there to become Suleiman the Magnificent to a one-woman harem.
 
I’d be just as wary of a prospective husband who specifically hoped to find a passive wife as I would be of a priest who hoped for passive parishioners, a teacher who wanted passive students, or a civil authority who wanted a passive populace to govern. Anyone in a leadership position might wisely hope to live in peace or to be given due respect by those they lead, but it is those who hope to dominate easily and without merit or dedication to their duty who look for the passive to be their victims and their vassals.

Humility is not the same as passiveness. Authentic submission to legitimate authority is not passiveness. Respect for authority is not passiveness. More to the point, someone who hopes for a position of leadership but is more interested in what they’re going to get and not in whether the person or persons they might lead are good candidates to receive the particular sort of dedicated service they have to offer is not ready for marriage. Don’t over-think this. Keep looking.
 
EasterJoy said:
I’d be just as wary of a prospective husband who specifically hoped to find a passive wife as I would be of a priest who hoped for passive parishioners, a teacher who wanted passive students, or a civil authority who wanted a passive populace to govern. Anyone in a leadership position might wisely hope to live in peace or to be given due respect by those they lead, but it is those who hope to dominate easily and without merit or dedication to their duty who look for the passive to be their victims and their vassals.

Humility is not the same as passiveness. Authentic submission to legitimate authority is not passiveness. Respect for authority is not passiveness. More to the point, someone who hopes for a position of leadership but is more interested in what they’re going to get and not in whether the person or persons they might lead are good candidates to receive the particular sort of dedicated service they have to offer is not ready for marriage. Don’t over-think this. Keep looking.
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Welcome back, Easter Joy!
 
Orthodox Catholics that are in love with God should never stress out over the vain & popular qualities that men and women demand in the other sex, such as lots of money, large breasts, or the condition that you must have premarital sex. For a worldly person this can be alarming, but for a Catholic it just makes your job easier, because you quickly eliminate all of the people that you wouldn’t want to marry anyway.

A woman naturally & justly desires a man that can offer her stability, but an orthodox woman doesn’t need that stability to come in the form of a 75+ k annual paycheck. If she does, then nothing of value is lost for not marrying her. She might poison some other man’s life, but that man doesn’t have to be you. Consider yourself spared.

A man naturally & justly desires a woman that will give him the benefit of the doubt and be affectionate towards him, but an orthodox man doesn’t need that to come in the form of a docile size D model. If he does, then nothing of value is lost for not marrying him. He might poison some other woman’s life, but that woman doesn’t have to be you. Consider yourself spared.
 
Passive is a really poor word choice in this context. But submissive to the husband’s leadership with (name removed by moderator)ut that is greatly valued by him plus very able to handle the home scene when he’s not around? That worked for my parents. She accepted his leadership, he was definitely the head of the home, she respected him; on the other hand, she was not a passive person at all, I cannot remember a time she was shy about speaking up with him or with us kids when she felt her concerns needed to be heard. It helped that she never competed with him in the home though she very well could have. There are multiple lessons in there that I see missing from many single women I encounter.
 
TK421 said:
Orthodox Catholics that are in love with God should never stress out over the vain & popular qualities that men and women demand in the other sex, such as lots of money, large breasts, or the condition that you must have premarital sex. For a worldly person this can be alarming, but for a Catholic it just makes your job easier, because you quickly eliminate all of the people that you wouldn’t want to marry anyway.

A woman naturally & justly desires a man that can offer her stability, but an orthodox woman doesn’t need that stability to come in the form of a 75+ k annual paycheck. If she does, then nothing of value is lost for not marrying her. She might poison some other man’s life, but that man doesn’t have to be you. Consider yourself spared.

A man naturally & justly desires a woman that will give him the benefit of the doubt and be affectionate towards him, but an orthodox man doesn’t need that to come in the form of a docile size D model. If he does, then nothing of value is lost for not marrying him. He might poison some other woman’s life, but that woman doesn’t have to be you. Consider yourself spared.
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True,but in reality eliminating those ends up with no other options because reasonably young single Catholics are not very existant here.
 
Elena321 said:
Out of curiosity,i had a bit of a look at Catholic online dating and I noticed quite a few Catholic (or other Christian) men under list of qualities they are seeking in a woman that “passiveness” is one of them.
Are they for real?
I would say Im gentle and gentleness and kindness,compassion,feminity and strength etc are good in women but passiveness is not.
I take the meaning of passive to be weak and not trust or use your own mind or judgments.
Are they meaning something different then how I take the word to men or do some Christian men really want this in a woman-like some parent child relationship?:whacky:
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I think they mean “submissive” because no one wants a passive partner.
 
I don’t understand why a man (or woman) would want a “passive” partner. Independent young ladies seek aggressive men but ONLY because we’ve been wearing the pants and taking control of life for years. If a man wants take take control of those reigns he better earn it, because we won’t let go unless it’s someone trustworthy or worth it. How is this man making me feel secure, protective and safe when I can do it all myself, without him? Men need to realize that before requesting “passive”. 🤷
 
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