R
Robin
Guest
I had the knowledge, several years before I managed to quit; that smoking was not good for me. I tried to quit many, many, times. Trying several methods and drugstore remedies. Nothing worked. When I got close to my 60’s , I begin to Hate smoking. But still I couldn’t stop. It was no longer a matter of Consent at all! Cigarettes made me sick - smoking nearly 2 packs (or more sometimes) a day! I asked Jesus nightly in my prayers to help me. I asked the Blessed Virgin to bring me a small miracle to stop. I couldn’t stop this nearly 50 year habit on my own.The term “grave” refers to the fact that the evil done would be serious enough to qualify as mortal sin. However, for a sin to be a mortal sin it also must be performed with sufficient knowledge and consent.
Then I finally realized that this fury that I was fighting was trying to Kill me. I personified this killer as a type of demon out to destroy my health, body and life. Or I realized what I was really up against.
It was about 6 months after coming to this realization that I walked into the doctors office feeling terrible and left on a stretcher on the way to the hospital in an ambulance. My truck parked in front of the doctors office - my cigarettes lying on the seat next to my empty seatbelt.
5 days later, I had a quadruple bi-pass.The only thing I remember
of the surgery is a vision - hallucination, drug-induced dream --Whatever - I seen Jesus shaking His fist at a humungus double-sized ugly naked satan - and shouting “You Cannot Have Him!!”.
I woke up, my wife beside me- and made a silly joke that made her laugh out loud. That was nearly 4 years ago. For the first 4 months I had nightly Nightmares of Smoking. Sometimes I could smell them, taste them, and wake up asking my wife (so real were they) did I really smoke a cigarette last night? I even heard a voice once that said “Go ahead. Have another cigarette. You already smoked a pack tonight…” The evil I dreaded had become Personified and Real in my nightmares! And that was my salvation, I believe, from cigarettes. I finally realized what It was. Satan - or one of his demons- who wanted me to light up again. To start all over again. And I knew I could say no. and No, and No again and again. And stick with it when I never could before. It was Easy. I never, ever, had that terrible, impossible to ignore Urge worse than Sex to find a cigarette and light up again . I had a new power I never had before. The power to resist that call. And I still do. I loved cigarettes. Most of my life. But they had become like Cocaine to a drug-addict, or Alcohol to an alcoholic. But Jesus and His Mother gave me the grace to say No, and be able to mean it.
When I woke up from that surgery I was free of the Smoke demon. I haven’t lit a cigarette yet! Praise the Lord!