So a woman rests her hand on my back at Mass yesterday. What's a guy to do?

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You know, if someone tried this where I work, they’d be charged with sexual harrassment.:rolleyes:
I guess I disagree with the comparison. Co workers are not your brothers and sisters in Christ sharing in his glory with you. I think it’s apples and oranges.
 
It’s interesting that the OP, a man, is getting so many responses to “ignore it” or “offer it up” or “assume the best of Christian intentions”, etc.

Let me throw a little lighter fluid into the thread & ask, What if a man did the same to me, a woman, at Mass? :hmmm:
Honestly, in that scenario, I’d offer the same advice. I just sincerely doubt it was sexual on her part.
 
The whole idea gives me the heebie-geebies…I think I’d be a shrugger, as in “what kind of huge spider just crawled up my back?”:eek:

This totally cracked me up though:
If you can, at will, audibly pass gas, then you could probably break her of her habit without getting into an arguement or intellectually offending her.
I think that this is a natural talent for most men, isn’t it?😃
:rotfl:
 
I don’t know where you all are from, but where I hail from laying on of hands during prayer is a sign of caring and love - something everyone should possess toward their fellow man in and out of the Mass.

Is society really so caught up in this personal space thing that people are creeped out when someone lays hands on you in prayer?

What on earth is the big deal here? She probably didn’t know that it’s not canonical to hold hands during the our father, saw you alone, and figured it would glorify God if you were added to the chain of Catholics in the church who were together praying the Lord’s Prayer.
 
I don’t know where you all are from, but where I hail from laying on of hands during prayer is a sign of caring and love - something everyone should possess toward their fellow man in and out of the Mass.
So you’re suggesting that keeping one’s hands to oneself implies misanthropy? :confused:
Is society really so caught up in this personal space thing that people are creeped out when someone lays hands on you in prayer?
Well, I wasn’t creeped out, but it was a bit of a surprise since it was definitely unexpected and inappropriate.
She probably didn’t know that it’s not canonical to hold hands during the our father, saw you alone, and figured it would glorify God if you were added to the chain of Catholics in the church who were together praying the Lord’s Prayer.
How does placing one’s hand on someone’s back increase the glorification of God? :confused: I wasn’t being exorcised! 😃
 
Is society really so caught up in this personal space thing that people are creeped out when someone lays hands on you in prayer?
For survivors of sexual and other assaults, an “unknown hand” can send someone right out of their skin.

I agree though, I am nearly positive that it was done in the most Christian love. I was mostly bothered that it was a hand on his back without permission. My DH’s dad was a chief of police and was bashed in the head from the back. Touching him from the back now without warning can result in drawing back a stub.
 
So you’re suggesting that keeping one’s hands to oneself implies misanthropy?
No, I’m suggesting that not keeping it to oneself in a Christian setting most certainly does not imply sexual assault. It implies an ideal of Christian love.
Well, I wasn’t creeped out, but it was a bit of a surprise since it was definitely unexpected and inappropriate.
Unexpected, perhaps, and inappropriate, yes, but only because you know that holding hands during Mass isn’t canon. How do you think she saw you? Lonely, in solitude, while the rest of the Church was joined together in prayer. In that context, do you think it was inappropriate in her eyes? I should say not!
How does placing one’s hand on someone’s back increase the glorification of God? I wasn’t being exorcised!
:rolleyes: That’s kind of a narrowminded way of looking at the situation.

Like I said - she saw you outside the chain of the parish community. So she joined you into it. Out of love. How does that not glorify God?
 
Another thought is that the woman expected you to turn and hold her hand, but when you didn’t she felt stuck and felt like she couldn’t remove her hand - that would be rejecting you in some way. So maybe she ended up feeling awkward about the whole thing and will never, ever do that again.

Just a thought. 🙂
 
No, I’m suggesting that not keeping it to oneself in a Christian setting most certainly does not imply sexual assault. It implies an ideal of Christian love.

Unexpected, perhaps, and inappropriate, yes, but only because you know that holding hands during Mass isn’t canon. How do you think she saw you? Lonely, in solitude, while the rest of the Church was joined together in prayer. In that context, do you think it was inappropriate in her eyes? I should say not!

:rolleyes: That’s kind of a narrowminded way of looking at the situation.

Like I said - she saw you outside the chain of the parish community. So she joined you into it. Out of love. How does that not glorify God?

You think we need to be touching each other to be “in the chain of the parish community”. That kinda puts being joined to the community thru receiving God in Holy Communion as some sort of secondary aspect in being joined “to the chain of the parish community”.
 
I think that might hurt her feelings, as she obviously had only the best of intentions. Maybe next time, after mass, turn around and tell her that you appreciate her efforts, but you are uncomfortable being touched in mass? Personally, if it were me, I wouldn’t say anything, though.
Hi,
as Deb said
For survivors of sexual and other assaults, an “unknown hand” can send someone right out of their skin.
I think it is more important to be careful, than worry about hurting someone’s feelings when they are doing something wrong. It is very wrong to touch someone, especially when they will be taken by surprise—I sometimes shriek very loud when startled.

(Imagine that scene 😃 )

Lux
 

You think we need to be touching each other to be “in the chain of the parish community”. That kinda puts being joined to the community thru receiving God in Holy Communion as some sort of secondary aspect in being joined “to the chain of the parish community”.
That’s not what I believe, but the belief among most Catholics who don’t patrol CAF is that it is perfectly normal to hold hands during the Our Father. This woman saw the OP as isolated, and sought to join him with the rest of the parish.
 
That’s not what I believe, but the belief among most Catholics who don’t patrol CAF is that it is perfectly normal to hold hands during the Our Father. This woman saw the OP as isolated, and sought to join him with the rest of the parish.
I’ve been reading these posts on this thread…and although I don’t hold hands…I do believe what you stated to be the best …very true.
 
That’s not what I believe, but the belief among most Catholics who don’t patrol CAF is that it is perfectly normal to hold hands during the Our Father. This woman saw the OP as isolated, and sought to join him with the rest of the parish.

Really now–most Catholics believe that. This lady it seems – may not have the correct understanding of what being in communion — joined to the community means. No one is isolated from another even if they are standing alone. Each church --though separate from another is still joined to the whole. The same goes for each parish, each diocese.
 

You think we need to be touching each other to be “in the chain of the parish community”. That kinda puts being joined to the community thru receiving God in Holy Communion as some sort of secondary aspect in being joined “to the chain of the parish community”.
I don’t think that’s what this particular poster is saying SHE, personally, believes. I think she’s trying to offer up an explanation as to what this woman in church believes, which is much more relevant. If the woman in church believes in the above, her motives were not only innocent, but also a beautiful gesture!
 
I think it is more important to be careful, than worry about hurting someone’s feelings when they are doing something wrong. It is very wrong to touch someone, especially when they will be taken by surprise—I sometimes shriek very loud when startled.
Again, if it makes someone very uncomfortable, I still would approach the person doing the touching in a kind and loving way, rather than flinching as if a bug has landed to prove a point (which is what I think the poster was suggesting when he/she said):
Perhaps either shrug it off (like a bug) or move out of her reach. I think I would turn and smile, and move away. If you allow it, she may think this is ok.
 
I don’t think that’s what this particular poster is saying SHE, personally, believes. I think she’s trying to offer up an explanation as to what this woman in church believes, which is much more relevant. If the woman in church believes in the above, her motives were not only innocent, but also a beautiful gesture!

Whatever the motive for the act–it is still someone taking physical liberty on another persons body. If the situation was reversed and a man planted his hand on my daughters back – it is still taking a liberty on her body.
 
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