So Angry Skipped Eucharist

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BostonMyrtleBea

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I am honestly looking for some advice as to what to do. I moved to Myrtle Beach and no longer enjoy going to Mass. I’m not in it for entertainment by any means, but for some reason, it feels Protestant in some ways. I grew up in Boston, went to Catholic schools, went to Boston College (Catholic) and was an active member of my parish as young adult (I’m 34 now). I wasn’t around during Latin Masses, but have been to one. I’m missing traditional songs, prayers, and other items in the celebration.

There are not a lot of Catholic Churches here (I’ve been to most in the area) but I cannot find a Mass that doesn’t freak me out. I’ve briefly mentioned this before, but my sister-in-law from Ireland and I went to Mass one Easter Vigil and we were so freaked out that we wanted to leave. Sound effects, dancers up and down the aisles, the priest asking us to get out of the pew and place our hands on the shoulders of new members, reinactments of bible scenes at the alter, some guy walking down the aisle “preaching” about JEsus, etc… We were so upset when we left. It was REALLY over the top. My sister-in-law refused to go back.

I have been going off-and-on and I hate that. I decided that I would go again on Sunday and officially join the church and get on with it. I was so angry during Mass on Sunday that I felt I was not in the right mind to take Communion. The priest talked about how he got complaints from visitors about the Mass during his homily and that the visitors should celebrate the differences in our parishes, but I was honestly agreeing with the complaints in my mind. Then the music was so odd. They had a band and the songs were similar (and some the same) as a protestant celebration I had recently attended for a baptism of an extended family member. I could NOT concentrate. The Gloria was a folk song, the Alleluia was hip, and the songs of the mass were all … funky.

I kept telling myself to “concentrate on the Mass… concentrate on the reason I’m here” and I was just disturbed the whole time. Then they had the collectors (younger teens) dressed up in red t-shirts and they were giggling down the aisles. I pulled out a prayer card and tried to pray and then here came the tamberines!!!

I am going home to Boston this coming weekend and I can’t WAIT to get to Mass. With all of the other fun things to do, I am counting the days to a normal and respectful Mass (IMHO). I certainly can’t wait to go to Mass every time I fly home, but between one church where people are falling over themselves and across the aisles to grab your hand during the Our Father (don’t like that) and getting out of aisles to touch others when the priest tell us is just too much for me.

I will try to see if another time is a bit more “normal” but I wonder if I’m the only one who feels this way. I feel so lost and am really struggling with this.
 
How many parishes have you tried since your move? Also, each Mass at a parish sometimes has a different flavour. My mother joined a new parish that has a CCM Mass at 12 pm on Sunday (complete with guitar, drums, and Hillsong praise and worship songs). However, the Vigil Mass has organ and piano. The 9 am Sunday Mass has almost no music. The 10:30 am Sunday Mass has a traditional choir. I would suggest trying different Masses at that parish, or trying different parishes. There is no rush to join a particular parish if you have just moved. There has to be something better out there.
 
I guess I can consider myself lucky… no litugical dancers at my parish… yet…

I’ll pray for you, I guess, if I can remember to…
 
Another suggestion is to look up nearby monestaries or shrines which often offer Masses that are more universal rather than catering to local flavor since they get lots of visitors. If all else fails, check out the local hospital. Their Masses are almost always “no frills”. You might not be as happy as you were back “home” but it might be good to go for a while to regain some inner peace.

I truly feel for you. I left my last parishes after the liturgical dancers’ appearance on Palm Sunday! :eek: Good luck in your search.
 
I have to admit if I were in your shoes I would feel the same
way. I hope you can find a good parish in your area soon!
 
Corki said:
Another suggestion is to look up nearby monestaries or shrines which often offer Masses that are more universal rather than catering to local flavor since they get lots of visitors. If all else fails, check out the local hospital. Their Masses are almost always “no frills”. You might not be as happy as you were back “home” but it might be good to go for a while to regain some inner peace.

I truly feel for you. I left my last parishes after the liturgical dancers’ appearance on Palm Sunday! :eek: Good luck in your search.
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I second your suggestions. Myrtle Beach is very much a tourist area with a party atmosphere. Going off the beaten path, where the tourists do not congregate, is probably better.
 
Thanks for the advice. My “dream” Mass would be to have some Latin, Gregorian chants, incense, etc… but I know that’s asking a lot 🙂

I’ll check out all the options, but I feel they are limited. I’ve been here for quite a long time now - I’m new to this particular parish but have been to the other churches in the area.

6 days until Mass at the Cathedral in Beantown!
 
BostonMyrtleBea said:
Thanks for the advice. My “dream” Mass would be to have some Latin, Gregorian chants, incense, etc… but I know that’s asking a lot 🙂

I’ll check out all the options, but I feel they are limited. I’ve been here for quite a long time now - I’m new to this particular parish but have been to the other churches in the area.

6 days until Mass at the Cathedral!
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Have you tried any churches that are not actually in Myrtle Beach city limits? A surrounding suburb that is not innundated by tourists may have a more reverant Mass.
 
Try the 7 or 7:30 am Sunday mass. If it is similar to some parishes, there will be no music and no extra roles (no readers, EMHC, etc.) because that time of day is sparsely attended. Or try the other mass times. Maybe if all else fails try a mass in Spanish. You might find it easier to pray there.
 
I’ve been to the next town over (Conway) and that was disturbing as well. My sister (not my sister-in-law this time) refuses to go to that church and I don’t care for it either (more of similar story above). I’ll try further away and at different times. I’ve just emailed the church to see if they can provide me with which type of Mass is at each time.

The only problem going elsewhere is that I was hoping to go to the Catholic Church in my area b/c it is the only one with a Catholic school. We don’t have kids yet, but I want to support the school, the local parish, and be a happy, active member. I suppose I can support the local church financially and then celebrate the Mass elsewhere.

I guess it’s easy to see that what was available in Boston was something really special - to have so many Mass times available and enjoying my attendance is really something to be thankful for having for so long!!!
 
Pug said:
Try the 7 or 7:30 am Sunday mass. If it is similar to some parishes, there will be no music and no extra roles (no readers, EMHC, etc.) because that time of day is sparsely attended. Or try the other mass times. Maybe if all else fails try a mass in Spanish. You might find it easier to pray there.
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I really like music in Mass - the organ, the choir, etc… It’s the dancing and the bands that feel out of place. But, you’re right, I rather have NO music than the production last night. I wonder about the hands in the air business - they probably skip that at the early Mass.
 
BostonMyrtleBea said:
I really like music in Mass - the organ, the choir, etc… It’s the dancing and the bands that feel out of place. But, you’re right, I rather have NO music than the production last night. I wonder about the hands in the air business - they probably skip that at the early Mass.
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maybe they have some sort of request form so that they could tailor the liturgy to suit your needs a little better. If you’re so caught up in the music and trappings that you skipped Communion with the Lord, you’re sorely missing the entire point of Mass.

Your anger separates you from Christ. Where do you think that anger originates?

If Good and evil were football teams, and you’ve been handed a play called “so angry at the bad liturgy i’ll avoid God”… which playbook do you think that came from?
 
thechrismyster said:
maybe they have some sort of request form so that they could tailor the liturgy to suit your needs a little better. If you’re so caught up in the music and trappings that you skipped Communion with the Lord, you’re sorely missing the entire point of Mass.

Your anger separates you from Christ. Where do you think that anger originates?

If Good and evil were football teams, and you’ve been handed a play called “so angry at the bad liturgy i’ll avoid God”… which playbook do you think that came from?
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I have been thinking about it since last night. I was so upset at the atmosphere that I honestly didn’t think it was right to take Communion while feeling so negatively about the situation. I felt I should not accept the Eucharist if I could not be 100% focused on the Mass. Perhaps that wasn’t the right thing to do. It’s just like eating before Mass. I feel that if your body or mind is not in the right place then you are not worthy of receiving Communion. I’m not sure that’s a rule or anything, but felt that I would be doing an injustice to God.

I honestly tried to focus 😦
 
BostonMyrtleBea said:
I have been thinking about it since last night. I was so upset at the atmosphere that I honestly didn’t think it was right to take Communion while feeling so negatively about the situation. I felt I should not accept the Eucharist if I could not be 100% focused on the Mass. Perhaps that wasn’t the right thing to do. It’s just like eating before Mass. I feel that if your body or mind is not in the right place then you are not worthy of receiving Communion. I’m not sure that’s a rule or anything, but felt that I would be doing an injustice to God.

I honestly tried to focus 😦
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my suggestion would be to think about where your line of thinking led you. closer to Christ or was the destination an absence of his presence?

Not always are out ‘feelings’ a good guidepost for actions. they can be clouded by emotion. feelings are probably the least accurate of our God given faculties.
 
BostonMyrtleBea said:
I really like music in Mass - the organ, the choir, etc… It’s the dancing and the bands that feel out of place. But, you’re right, I rather have NO music than the production last night. I wonder about the hands in the air business - they probably skip that at the early Mass.
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I love the music too! I know how it can feel to go to a different style parish. If I can’t make mass at my parish and I have to go to the other parish near me, the tenor of the service is so different. I feel lost, and I’m only a five minutes from home.

Perhaps try out a daily mass at this new parish. Maybe it would feel more at home to you. This would at least help you establish a comfort zone at this new parish? Then the rest might be less frustrating, even if it doesn’t change.
 
thechrismyster said:
my suggestion would be to think about where your line of thinking led you. closer to Christ or was the destination an absence of his presence?

Not always are out ‘feelings’ a good guidepost for actions. they can be clouded by emotion. feelings are probably the least accurate of our God given faculties.
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I see what you mean about and will need to focus on this a bit more. I’m willing to put effort in to find something normal. Honestly, the situation was VERY foreign to me.

I don’t know if this is an attempt at being sarcastic or not when you say “maybe they have some sort of request form so that they could tailor the liturgy to suit your needs a little better” since this was a genuine request for sincere advice. Basically I have not, in my life, been to a Mass like the ones I’ve been to here. I’ve been to dozens of parishes in Boston and none of the priests asked us to get out of the aisles and I’ve never been shaken from a prayer with electric guitars and drums before. Perhaps others are used to Masses like that and maybe my own experiences are not the norm, but it did not feel Catholic. I felt I was in another type of church.

I’m going to talk to my priest in my old parish. Maybe he can be of some guidance as well.
 
I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I’ll be saying prayers that you find a parish home that edifies you. I am also a native Bostonian, Catholic school and B.C. grad (twenty or so years before you!) now living in the deep south. DId you go to St. Ignatius or attend Mass on campus?

Thank heavens, no liturgical dancers here, though the squirmy children on the altar in our parish during the Eucharistic Prayer can be distracting, to say the least!!!

God bless!
 
Pug said:
I love the music too! I know how it can feel to go to a different style parish. If I can’t make mass at my parish and I have to go to the other parish near me, the tenor of the service is so different. I feel lost, and I’m only a five minutes from home.

Perhaps try out a daily mass at this new parish. Maybe it would feel more at home to you. This would at least help you establish a comfort zone at this new parish? Then the rest might be less frustrating, even if it doesn’t change.
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Worth a try, though I still want to attend on Sundays (well, or Saturdays). Hopefully my email about asking which type of Mass is offered when will be fruitful. I will be glad to adjust to any schedule 🙂
 
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