St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

[Teelynn]

Hi all,Am wondering, would this be the correct thread to pray for a grown child and her young family? I can see by looking through it is geared toward praying for husbands. (not that my husband is not in need of prayer as we all are) If not, maybe I could start a thread for children and families?I have a grown child that desperately needs prayer. I know from reading about St. Monica, she also prayed for 17 years for her eldest son St. Augustine.Our only daughter has never really accepted nor been drawn to The Church from the time she was a teenager. We used to force her to go to Mass, and finally gave up when she started being almost disruptively rebellious at Mass. A priest friend used to tell us not to worry about it, she would come back around in her time.She never really has. She does go to Mass when she feels like it now. The problem is now, she is a grown woman with a family of 3 small children. Her husband is not Catholic (and not anything really) They of course did not get married in the Church. She does have her 2 oldest (2nd grade and kindergarten) children in Catholic school. She had enrolled them I believe mainly because she does not want them in public school. Of course when she enrolled them, I was beyond thrilled, as I had hoped this would be the beginning of her complete conversion to the faith. I just knew that God would lead her back to the faith this way. Well, my 2nd grade grandson will be making his first communion this year. He made his first confession last week. My daughter herself has never made her 1st confession. In the years that she was growing up and in religious ed, they had them make their 1st Communion without reconcilliation. They kept telling the parents they were too young for that, it would come later. She was even confirmed without making her 1st confession, the religious ed instructor saying they will do that when they are ready. By the time she was confirmed, she was already starting to rebel the whole Church scene. No way could I get her to make her first confession, it was a struggle to even get her to Church on Sunday. It was in the time span that the Church was not emphasizing confession, but I cannot hold the Church responsible for failing in this area as a parent. I hold myself totally responsible for this. A few weeks ago, she received a note home from school, telling parents that it was their responsibility to make sure they went to mass every Sunday (as their children were making their 1st confession and 1st communion) It also strongly suggested that parents go to confession as to encourage their children. We talked about it, and she decided to call Fr. in order to ask if she could see him and make her 1st confession herself. Well, she never made the call. Too busy. I had decided several years ago, that when I could, I would (instead of going to Mass at the parish where H and I go) go with her and the kids to theirs, just to get them to Mass. (to do what I could for the spiritual welfare for her and the children) I have done this many times with them, but if I don’t make a point of going, they don’t go either. Even when I make plans with her to go she doesn’t always come through, she calls with one excuse or another. This morning was another one of those mornings. We planned to go to 11:00 Mass, because it’s easier than the early Mass for her with the kids. Of course I got a phone call shortly before leaving for her house, that oldest grandson wasn’t even home, had spent the night with a friend. I’m afraid I kind of lost it with her, asked her why is she bothering to send them to Catholic School, and why is she bothering with the Sacraments with them when she isn’t even going to take them to Mass. “What’s the point?” Told her she’s not really Catholic, why pretend that she is by occassionally going to Mass when she feels like it. Why be a hypocrite? I told her she might as well not even go at all, she is not any kind of an example for her kids. She kept responding yep, ok, as if to say that’s what she wanted to do anyway. Not go to Mass, yank them out of Catholic School, and not teach them anything about God.a After hanging up, I was so totally upset both at her and at myself for saying such things, I have been crying all day. DH had gone to early Mass and I of course had planned to go with her and kids, but I went to the later one by myself. I really don’t know how I got through that Mass without all kinds of tears. Tried to offer my pain up to the Lord, uniting my broken heart with His. I guess I am so crushed as I really thought she was starting to really come around, talking about making an appnt. with Fr., making her 1st confession, going to Mass regularly.I want to scream at her that she will be held accountable for the souls of her children, I want to scream at her a lot of things, but the best plan of action for now, I believe, is to lay low and pray.I am totally heartbroken. Need prayers

 

[Danis]

It’s comforting to know that there are others who bear a cross because of their love for the church.My husband has a very hardened attitude towards the clergy and blames any problems that we have towards the church and priests.Thus I am not “free” to go to mass,I still, after all these years,have to get enough courage to bring up the subject and try to make sure he’s in a good mood before asking"I’d like to go to mass on Sunday.I can only go when he feels up to it and then most times I’ll hear his version of what should have been said in the homily.St.Monica pray for me,I’m not doing very well in accepting my cross as I sometimes resent my husbands attitudes and believe i come close to resenting him.St.Monica pray for us…

 

[Rammy]

It’s comforting to know that there are others who bear a cross because of their love for the church.My husband has a very hardened attitude towards the clergy and blames any problems that we have towards the church and priests.Thus I am not “free” to go to mass,I still, after all these years,have to get enough courage to bring up the subject and try to make sure he’s in a good mood before asking"I’d like to go to mass on Sunday.I can only go when he feels up to it and then most times I’ll hear his version of what should have been said in the homily.St.Monica pray for me,I’m not doing very well in accepting my cross as I sometimes resent my husbands attitudes and believe i come close to resenting him.St.Monica pray for us…

Accepting your cross is one thing, but first and formost is the responsibility to your own soul, and getting it to heaven. Had it occured to you to simply stop asking him, and to go yourself?

Often if we can not lead them to church or to God, we can at least teach in other ways…by example. Your body and soul is it’s own temple, longing to be with the Lord, as well as through the eucharist. I call it food for the soul. If a soul is hurting, what better way to strengthen it. The more often the better.

Have you ever seen the life line bar of a childrens video game? I remind my children how moving forward with christs work is a good thing, but we must never forget to eat and drink of HIM on a regular bases. It would be hard to do this, if our souls were so weak, we lost the ability to be his soldiers of love.

To love your husband or any other christian…you must love yourself first. This includes your evident feeling of unworthyness, that you have lost sight of getting yourself cared for.

Please, go on your own, replenish the love and bounty of the holy spirit, and the body and blood of Christ. Then you will be like a super hero spiritually, able to fight off situations you might not feel up to. Maybe out of fear of upsetting your husband.

But actually, is that not like a childs behavior, not wanting to go to bed? As mothers, we know what is best for them, even if they do not, or disagree with us. So you may see temper tantrums, yes, and a lot of hubub over this. But, be strong, and explain that you would love his company, but if he still does not wish to attend, you wish deeply to do so on your own. You do not force him, and ask that he not force you…to stay behind.

Please hun, see your needs as a piece, part, and parcel to helping him. Better charged spiritually, the better you can “save” him one day.

I will pray for both of you

Lana

 

[Rammy]

Teelynn…where do i start…first of all, calm yourself, gather your thoughts, and remember, what your fears are-is what you yelled at her over. You had a lot of good points, but the delivery kind of sucked to put it mildly.

I would call her to tell her you were sorry for the way you delt with your disapointment of her not going. All it did was bring out your worst fears about her well being, and her childrens, and you are sure it could have been handled better.

NO where in there does it apologise for what you said, only how you dealt with and treated her. This must be validated as a true hurt to your daughter, and may further put a wedge between you two. So fix this as best you can and as swiftly if you can.

Then resume back on track. Remember, if it is of FEAR, it is not of the LORD. God teaches with love, and patience. Right now you are right where he wants you to be. But fear (buddy down stairs domain) led you to sabotage all the great work you were doing by example with your daughter.

Remember this also, where once FEAR ruled with doubt and so on, he must have been loosing his clutches, to aim a formal attack on the great works. Let him know he will not win, that you will fight till the end for her soul, and to rebuke him in the name of your saviour.

Sounds kinda, “evangelical” but it is true, like a vampire, he does not go where he is not invited. If he is not told to keep away, he is the king of lies, and will take everything he can get. But if rebuked, he no longer has that power.

But, like a todler having a temper tantrum, he will try over and over again…we just have to be wise, and cut him off at the pass.

to recognise his presence, is the key in stopping his interference…

So we move forward, triumphant.

Right now, he is smiling at the relasionship dammage he has acomplish. Trump him with the repair you can do, in Gods name.

“YOU GO GIRL”

Lana

 

[Teelynn]

Thank you so much Rammy, for the wonderful insight, and comfort. It is calming and right on. I did pray all day for her, and for myself. As of lately, these attacks as I call them, come completely out of the blue. I know you are right about Satan trying to sabotage me AND my daughter. Not more than 2 weeks ago she was talking about preparing for her first confession, and even had asked her husband if he had ever thought about becoming Catholic. We were moving in such a wonderful direction. All of a sudden, she changes gears, starts chanting the ol’ famous mantra:
“You don’t need to go to church to pray or experience God.” That was a few days ago. When she said that, I calmly explained that was an excuse that has been around forever. God expects to see one at Mass at least every Sunday. This is a mandate by the Church of Christ. With that one, she said, “Well, protestants don’t go every week.” I say, “No, they might not, but protestants don’t have the privilege of being a part of the Church established by Jesus Christ himself.”

I will talk to her and tell her my outburst was an overreaction, but it was just out of love and concern for her and the children. I have been thinking of writing her a letter.

I keep giving her to the Lord, and asking Him to help ME keep my hands off, except to encourage, pray for her, fast for her, and follow HIS LEAD. I am certain that Satan is trying to sabotage this wonderful progress that has been made. I have to remember that he might win a battle or two, but he WILL NOT win the war!

Thank you again, and may the Lord Bless and keep you in His loving presence. I will keep you all in my daily rosary.

St. Monica pray for us all!!
“For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us, and on the whole world.”
Queen of Heaven, our Mother, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

 

[Rammy]

“You don’t need to go to church to pray or experience God.” That was a few days ago. When she said that, I calmly explained that was an excuse that has been around forever.

No, God is everywhere, and so is she. Both you and she knows the full difference of visiting each other face to face though. To go to (catholic) church, is to BE in HIS house, and actually in the presence of the Lord himself in the eucharist. A protostant will never have that option, yet can pray as deeply as he can in his church or his home…it is all the same, except the numbered gathered.

If you would let me explain confession in a sweet inocent way through the words of my daughter. She was so upset at burrying two grandmothers and her big brother Will (near 19 at the time 5 years ago). She was convinced of how she would get to see her brother again, and it was perfect timming…class confessions and first communions. She had done the first confession, and it was aproaching xmas time, and class speaches (due every Jan here in Canada-one min per grade level.

She wanted to tell about how to get to heaven to see her big Brother Will (Willydog as she calls him) and she wrote the following…

My name is Amber

I will be telling you all about getting into heaven.

When we die, and go to purgatory, we meet God.

In our life, we hope that we have done a good job at removing sins from our soul.

The sins are like smudgies on our soul.

Smudgies must be ALL gone before we can enter through the pearly gates of heaven.

If we go to our priest, who can erase the smudgies, we will have a cleaner soul.

If we do our very best at confessing, we will be closer to God and Heaven.

I can talk to my mother, my family, and my teachers, so I am always learning about God.

I think he is very important in our lives.

I know that if I try to follow his rules of love, that I can be closer to him.

I can even ask for help from God if I am confused or scared.

If I try very hard, someday I might go to heaven.

That would be beautiful, because I would be with my Big Brother once again.

I think we would hug forever, because I love my Willydog!

Thank you for listening.

You see, it is not IF we go to heaven, it is more about WHEN. God states whomever wants to be with him, will be with him. But, it is in the amount of time that we are seperated from him, while being in purgatory that will hurt.

When we are here, we can pray for ourselves all we want, but once in purgatory, there is not a single thing we can pray for ourselves, as this is no longer possible. But…anyone here on earth may pray for us. Without the amount of prayers and intentions added to our soul to remove “smudgies” we are not allowed to enter the kingdome.

The kingdome is nescesary to be sin free before we are in Gods presence. So, if at the time of death, we have the answers to everything we wondered about over time, and sit there, sooo close to God, yet not at all able to reach him untill cleansed …
Why not get as close to that as possible. Remember, once forgiven through confession, it no longer exists in the eyes of God. It is less, we have to confess in the face of Jesus himself.

This is good to know to understand confessional uses to someone thinking the very opposite. Why confess to a man, when God is at his ready in my prayers. God gave this rite to a priest, well aware of the learning that goes with faceing the self shame in sinning…and it does teach us to try harder not to do it.

So, she is indeed very lucky, compared to her protastant friends.

Lana

 

[Teelynn]

“You don’t need to go to church to pray or experience God.” That was a few days ago. When she said that, I calmly explained that was an excuse that has been around forever.

No, God is everywhere, and so is she. Both you and she knows the full difference of visiting each other face to face though. To go to (catholic) church, is to BE in HIS house, and actually in the presence of the Lord himself in the eucharist. A protostant will never have that option, yet can pray as deeply as he can in his church or his home…it is all the same, except the numbered gathered.

If you would let me explain confession in a sweet inocent way through the words of my daughter. She was so upset at burrying two grandmothers and her big brother Will (near 19 at the time 5 years ago). She was convinced of how she would get to see her brother again, and it was perfect timming…class confessions and first communions. She had done the first confession, and it was aproaching xmas time, and class speaches (due every Jan here in Canada-one min per grade level.

She wanted to tell about how to get to heaven to see her big Brother Will (Willydog as she calls him) and she wrote the following…

My name is Amber

I will be telling you all about getting into heaven.

When we die, and go to purgatory, we meet God.

In our life, we hope that we have done a good job at removing sins from our soul.

The sins are like smudgies on our soul.

Smudgies must be ALL gone before we can enter through the pearly gates of heaven.

If we go to our priest, who can erase the smudgies, we will have a cleaner soul.

If we do our very best at confessing, we will be closer to God and Heaven.

I can talk to my mother, my family, and my teachers, so I am always learning about God.

I think he is very important in our lives.

I know that if I try to follow his rules of love, that I can be closer to him.

I can even ask for help from God if I am confused or scared.

If I try very hard, someday I might go to heaven.

That would be beautiful, because I would be with my Big Brother once again.

I think we would hug forever, because I love my Willydog!

Thank you for listening.

You see, it is not IF we go to heaven, it is more about WHEN. God states whomever wants to be with him, will be with him. But, it is in the amount of time that we are seperated from him, while being in purgatory that will hurt.

When we are here, we can pray for ourselves all we want, but once in purgatory, there is not a single thing we can pray for ourselves, as this is no longer possible. But…anyone here on earth may pray for us. Without the amount of prayers and intentions added to our soul to remove “smudgies” we are not allowed to enter the kingdome.

The kingdome is nescesary to be sin free before we are in Gods presence. So, if at the time of death, we have the answers to everything we wondered about over time, and sit there, sooo close to God, yet not at all able to reach him untill cleansed …
Why not get as close to that as possible. Remember, once forgiven through confession, it no longer exists in the eyes of God. It is less, we have to confess in the face of Jesus himself.

This is good to know to understand confessional uses to someone thinking the very opposite. Why confess to a man, when God is at his ready in my prayers. God gave this rite to a priest, well aware of the learning that goes with faceing the self shame in sinning…and it does teach us to try harder not to do it.

So, she is indeed very lucky, compared to her protastant friends.

Lana

This is BEAUTIFUL!! Yes, she is very lucky to have been born into the Catholic faith. Where we have Jesus Himself in the Blessed Sacrament. Protestants don’t have that. I am praying for myself that I am a little quicker on my feet when she throws me one of these zingers. Am also praying for God to open her eyes HOWEVER he chooses. Maybe not through me at all. Maybe through someone else. Doesn’t really matter. I have often had long talks with the Lord and told Him maybe I am not the right person to be the catalyst for her conversion. Maybe it is someone she will meet or befriend. HIS will be done in whatever means He chooses. I will continue, however, to do my best to be an example, praying that God gives me the grace so that she might see Jesus in me. And that He gives me the grace not to push and shove and nag at her, which will only turn her away.

Your daughter has such a sweet tender heart for the Lord! She has got to be so VERY PRECIOUS to His heart!! A beautiful explanation through a child’s eyes why confession is so important. Part of the problem, I believe, of the lack of faith that we find so often, is due to the lack of Catachesis in our young children, that at certain periods of time has been so very lacking.
But that is for a different discussion.

Blessings and Prayers and so much thanks!!

St. Monica pray for all of us!
Sacred Heart of Jesus, hear us!
Queen of Heaven, our Mother, pray for us now and at the hour of our death!

 

[JLCecilia]

DH is still having a hard time getting to work on time. The last few weeks he’s been more helpful in the mornings getting the boys around, but after we leave, he goes back to bed and then he doesn’t get to work till 11 or later. When he doesn’t get home till 8, he doesn’t see the kids at all.

When we were w/ our friends in the car this weekend, he mentioned to them that he’s trying to convince me to move to the city where his company is opening an office - we’d be closer to his friends and there’d be more to do.

At this time, until sometime in the middle of March, he is on probation for attendance. He has been w/ this company for 3 yrs or so and this is probably his 3rd probation. This is a recurring theme w/ him and work and the cause for being fired from at least 2 of his previous jobs.

He says he’s been going to bed before midnight, so I can’t really be sure why he has such trouble. He’s constantly got a belly ache or headache in the mornings - I’m sure eating supper late at night doesn’t help and maybe if he is going straight from the computer or television to bed, he isn’t falling asleep as easily. He smokes and drinks lots of caffeine, but altering his lifestyle is not something he’s ready to do at this time.

He says he’d like to quit smoking, so please pray for God to grant him the grace to strengthen his desire and will to overcome this addiction. He has also mentioned several times that he wants to start working out, but he can’t find anyone to go to the gym w/ him. Please ask God to send him a (good) friend to work out w/. I imagine once he starts going, he’ll buddy up w/ some of the regulars there and be able to start going on his own.

At this time, I cannot see moving to the city where my duties as a wife and mother would become burdensome, where we would have less time together as a family, just so DH could be closer to his buddies (who have more time w/ him than we do already). Especially not until DH can get on a reasonable schedule. No sense in uprooting our family and going to the hassle of moving to another town only to go thru the same problems with him getting in trouble at work for attendance and possibly losing his job after all that.

 

[Rammy]

Hun, that’s just Geography…Everything will follow him.
It is easier to actually face the problem, not run from it.
If he is on probation, then moving is a risk too deep i think.

It is easy to assess sleep issues. Caffeen, pops, candy, greasy/spicy foods all in late evening. Then with the evident depression he is going through, may be he needs this looked at further. Depression causes lathargic behaviour, procrastination , and a simple struggle to see what it is before him.

My daughter of 8, now 9.5 was put on melitonin drops. Aparently it is the natural ingredient produced in the brain that tells a person to close up shop for the evening (sleep). But, while under stress, this chemical is not produced leaving them awake for extreme hours untill they close up shop. Then the body takes over, exhausted, and unable to get moving in the morning.

I went from 1am-5am every night for 6 years, and nearly out of my mind from my own lac of sleep waiting for her to get to sleep.

She now takes her drops, gets in bed, watches a sitcome or reads, and in a half hour, she is asleep…and for a good 8-10 hours.

Melitonin can be found in the drug store in drops (1-3mg), pills (5mg) and a patch, that i have yet to see. It is used by adults for jet lag, shift work, and sleep disorders where regulating the internal clock is nescesary.

My little one is on 1mg…thus the dropper is needed, as it goes by weight. The bottle lasts her about three months, refrigerated, for under 15.00. Both the pills or drops for an adult would only last a month using it every day.

Worth looking into…you can make better decisions when your brain ain’t in a fog, and feels bruised.

Lana

 

[Rammy]

Ooo, the B. R. A. T. diet is used in hospitals everywhere.

It is the 4 most easily digested foods for a child or adult…especially if after the flu. 24 hours of liquids with no loss of liquids. Then 24 hours of the BRAT diet…once both are completed, you can go home from hospital, and remove IV.

Not that this is nescesary, but it made me think that if he had a sore stomache, to try and be jentle on it in the evening…

B=Bananas
R=Rice
A=Applesauce
T=Toast

Lana

 

[DJgang]

I just read through the last three pages. Praise God for the good news some of you shared. Everyone remains in my prayers.

My DH has been drinking a lot lately. Too much of details to bore everyone with…just a lot of hurts as many of you can understand.

Then, this past week, he went to a strip club. I don’t know what to do.

I will keep praying for all situations here. I am so sorry that so many are suffering.

God bless, Dana

 

[MonicaRose]

Dana,

I’m so sorry to hear about the hurt your husband is causing you.

I will add you to my prayers!

 

[Shoshana]

Ooo, the B. R. A. T. diet is used in hospitals everywhere.

It is the 4 most easily digested foods for a child or adult…especially if after the flu. 24 hours of liquids with no loss of liquids. Then 24 hours of the BRAT diet…once both are completed, you can go home from hospital, and remove IV.

Not that this is nescesary, but it made me think that if he had a sore stomache, to try and be jentle on it in the evening…

B=Bananas
R=Rice
A=Applesauce
T=Toast

Lana

lana…are those melatonin drops a prescription?

 

[Rammy]

lana…are those melatonin drops a prescription?

Nope hun…the drops are 13.99 plus tax at Fonthill Shoppers.
Bottom shelf in the vitamin section to the right of the pharmacy desk.

It goes from 1-3 mg in dropper…but pill format is a 5mg pill

I never looked else where…as this store is who delivers to us.

http://well.ca/images/large/product...thegoods.com/images/uploads/273_882_large.jpg

The box is the one Shawny uses… Brown glass bottle with dropper inside of it shaped like this blue one.

Hope this helps Shosh…
%between%

 

[Paladin99]

This usually helps me sleep. Haha Kidding.
How have you girls been?

Rick

 

[Rammy]

I swear, i am not a drinker of much.
I had a bottle of Amaretto last me
6 months. My husband is trying to
address his drinking problems, and
i severely miss my small bit on ice
now and again. Or durring a bubble
bath and candles, music, and prayer.

But it is not right to have it near, or for me
to have it around someone strugaling.

But i wish tonight, for that to not be the case.

Lana

 

[Paladin99]

I swear, i am not a drinker of much.
I had a bottle of Amaretto last me
6 months. My husband is trying to
address his drinking problems, and
i severely miss my small bit on ice
now and again. Or durring a bubble
bath and candles, music, and prayer.

Lana

Right, I understand. Anything in moderation is ok, but one does not want to make someone stumble either.

Rick

 

[Trishie]

God bless all the wives and mothers who post on this thread and in the forums. God bless their husbands and children. Please give blessings and healings to our spouses and ourselves.
St Monica please intercede on our behalf.

 

[LeonBloy]

I am here to ask for prayers for my Husband’s conversion to the Catholic Church.

He has never been baptized in any religion… he is my best friend and a good father. He would be such a good Catholic husband. Please pray that the Holy Spirit change his heart and allow him to see himself in the Church.

 

[DJgang]

God bless all the wives and mothers who post on this thread and in the forums. God bless their husbands and children. Please give blessings and healings to our spouses and ourselves.
St Monica please intercede on our behalf.

Amen.

I am here to ask for prayers for my Husband’s conversion to the Catholic Church.

He has never been baptized in any religion… he is my best friend and a good father. He would be such a good Catholic husband. Please pray that the Holy Spirit change his heart and allow him to see himself in the Church.

I will keep your husband in my prayers.