St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

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My husband used to go to church with me, up until about 6 weeks ago. If we ever have a bad argument, he won’t go. It’s almost to punish me, I think. He has been going to a mass at a parish that is full of abuses. I’m worried that it will harm his faith, what little he has. He has such a strange view of God. I think if you get your idea of God wrong, then a lot of things in your life are viewed wrong. I had been praying very hard as we have had some terrible times in the last few weeks and I said that ‘we should pray together’
His response was, 'i don’t know what you’re praying for but I don’t like the way you pray ‘cause look what’s happening!’
So he thought that all the bad things were happening because of the way I prayed.
I am just learning now, that pleading, nagging, correcting him and telling him off is not going to work. So as hard as it will be, I will stay silent, try to be a good example and let God do the work.

I was reading Greg Popcak’s book last night and it said that we must ask the Lord to change us first, that we should learn to be a powerful witness to our husbands, secondly, pray that the Lord would use others and the circumstances of their lives to reaveal himself in an unmistakable way and when we have prayed for these graces, then pray for our husbands. Pray that the Lord will help them to be open to all the love that is being poured out.

Sounds like very wise advice to me.
God Bless you all and I am remembering you in my prayers every day!
Saint Monica, pray for us!
 
Jules, it does seem like your husband has a lot of wounds that need healing. I think it is wonderful that you are fighting for your marriage.

I have noticed that despite my husband’s love and respect for me, he doesn’t really accept my witness of the Faith. I know that I have damaged it some by my unvirtuous daily habits. But, I also know I’m not that bad. There is just this wall when it comes to faith. I wonder sometimes if it is because it is just not God’s plan for the wife to lead the husband. Even if the husband has drifted off from Him, I think it is written in male nature that it rejects spiritual direction from the wife.

St. Ambrose said to St. Monica when she was complaining that her son would not listen to her, “Monica, it is time you talk less to Augustine about God, and more to God about Augustine.”

I think you are being very wise. I think it helps to have couple friends who are very faithfilled–esp if the male is someone who is likeable. Then, our husbands get to hear a little, even if its offhand, that we are not off our rockers.

My husband had very little faith formation in his youth–they were Christmas and Easter Methodists. Then, we were dating, his thirteen year old brother was killed in a freak accident. I don’t think his spiritual formation was sufficient for him to respond to God with anything but anger and distancing. I’d say my husband leans towards Deism. He believes in God, but he thinks God is just not too concerned with us. He also thinks that the Church is a lot of rules, and confusion. He hears about the authentic Church from me, but most secular Catholics he meets and works with are lukewarm and poorly catechized. He can’t reconcile the two contradictions.

He mostly seems just kind of indifferent. 😦
 
Wow you guys, this is an awesome thread. Thanks for starting it!

I too am in an unequally yoked marriage. My husband was raised Episcopalian, but does nothing to acknowledge God in his life. When we were married, I never imagined that this would present a problem for me, as I was non-practicing myself. But I did tell him, when we discussed having children that I wanted to raise any we had Catholic, and he acknowledged that to him the Catholic Church and the Episcopal were the same except that the Catholic Church doesn’t believe in divorce which he also didn’t believe in, so he had no problem with raising kids Catholic.

Well, here we are 14 years later and while he’s lived up to allowing me to raise our daughter Catholic, he has a real problem with the fact that I actually LIVE my faith.

NFP became an issue, especially as I grew to better understand the teachings of the Church and I had a reason to explain my ache at having only one child.

This was further complicated by the fact that when we married (outside the Church) neither of us had had annulments from our previous divorces. I, without even telling him about it, went ahead and got my annulment taken care of. Then I told him about it and asked him to do the same, so our marriage could be blessed by the Church. “Nope!” “Why not?” “Because it’s stupid”

Knowing that there were ample grounds for the granting of the annulment if he’d only cooperate by signing the application (I did all the leg work of getting the documentation and completing the initial paperwork), I was patient for several years.

I also did what I could to bite my tongue on matters of religion, knowing I couldn’t convert him. In the meantime, many Rosaries were being said.

Finally, when he quit Marriage Counseling (for other issues), I realized I could no longer flout Church laws regarding the validity of our marriage, especially if he was unwilling to help make things regular through annuling his previous marriage. At this point, I did allow my religion to come between us. But I was finally in a position of ignoring my conscience, which was screaming by this point, or take a position.

We’d lived a loveless marriage for years by that point. Since then (3 years ago) it’s been loveless on another level as well, and finally our house is on the market. He intends to not have us continue to stay together as soon as it’s sold and our daughter will not be raised with both parents in the same home.

I’ve done this with Spiritual Guidance from my pastor, but I wish things weren’t this way. Even in all this, I love my husband very much, even if he’s shown me no love or respect for many years. The sad thing is, he doesn’t believe I love him. He’s convinced I like paining him.

I’ve prayed to St. Monica, St. Rita and St. Joseph for years, so far to no avail.

During this Lent, I feel like such a failure, as I’ve had difficulty living up to any of my penances, or even doing many of the basic things I’m supposed to do.

Sorry, I hope you don’t mind my venting and sharing some of these very personal details. It’s just gotten overwhelming and I’m hoping you might understand.

CARose
 
CArose, I’m so sorry. I have to agree that you have to put your soul first. If you aren’t in a valid marriage, what choice do you have. I’ll be praying for you. What a terrible thing to go through.

I hope you have a miracle and are able to bless your marriage and reunite.
 
Thank you JMJ.

It sounds like you’ve had many miracles in your marriage. You are truly blessed with the wonderful husband you have. Don’t forget to give him a special hug from all your Catholic Friends.

And thank you for your prayers and well wishes. They are certainly appreciated (and needed!)

CARose
 
I’ve been posting on a non-Catholic answers forum this evening (regarding abortion) and a bully came along and entered what had been a civil (if somewhat misguided) conversation between a pro-choicer and myself. The bully was Pro-Life and I chastized him for the tactics of his argument.

In responding to his response, I found myself posting that as a one time stubborn youth, I know that there were times when regardless of how I may have been convinced of the intellectual merit of a position, if I’d felt attacked by the person presenting the opposing view, there was no way I’d give them the satisfaction of winning the point, even if I had to lose all intellectual integrity to maintain my position. As I was wording this response (which came immediately after submitting my first post on this thread), I realized that from my husbands perspective, he sees my having taken such a hard-line position as my being a bully.

However, I don’t know how to help him know that I love him without compromising my faith.

Actually, I do know how, but have been advised against it by my priest and by my personal counselor (whom I’ve been seeing to deal with the stress all this has created). We’re in financial staits (hubby hasn’t been working to potential for a couple of years, to a large extent because he’s angry with me and doesn’t want to divorce with the requirement to pay alimony, so he’s been way underemployed to reduce the likelihood of that happening). This is the primary reason the house is finally on the market, mere financial requirements, no longer a choice.

I could sell some stock I have that I got as an inheritance (hence it’s not community property). It wouldn’t be prudent, as he’s already announced he intends to get divorced. But he’s furious that I’ve refused to contribute financially to paying for our home. I finally did get a job in October, something he’s wanted me to do for years, even though I’ve felt it was more important that I be there to raise our daughter.

But, even if I were to sell the stock, it would only delay the inevitable, it would do nothing to ensure we could meet the ongoing expense of staying here, and it would do nothing to address his not working. It would deplete my funds which were intended to be the start of a retirement fund and which I have instead had to use for any cash I’ve wanted during the past 9 years as I’ve stayed at home with our daughter (I’ve been extremely frugal, as this was a very small amount of money to begin with and I’ve only spent down 1/2 of it).

Thoughts?

CARose
 
what a great thread and thanks for starting it… i converted to unify my family. while my husband was raised catholic, he attends only for “major” church events. my new years resolution this year was to ask for st. monica’s prayers to aid in the “physical” conversion of my husband. he is a good christian, just not an active catholic. since i converted, i expect a lot from him. i have gained patience and a broader understanding of him through my prayers… he’s not a “joiner” but a great resource on following church doctrine. this frustrates me because he has seperated himself from the most important aspects - reconciliation and eucharist. someday i know he will come back into full communion with mother church and i will be standing by his side in thanksgiving. please pray for rich.
 
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CARose:
However, I don’t know how to help him know that I love him without compromising my faith.

Actually, I do know how, but have been advised against it by my priest and by my personal counselor (whom I’ve been seeing to deal with the stress all this has created). We’re in financial staits (hubby hasn’t been working to potential for a couple of years, to a large extent because he’s angry with me and doesn’t want to divorce with the requirement to pay alimony, so he’s been way underemployed to reduce the likelihood of that happening). This is the primary reason the house is finally on the market, mere financial requirements, no longer a choice.

I could sell some stock I have that I got as an inheritance (hence it’s not community property). It wouldn’t be prudent, as he’s already announced he intends to get divorced. But he’s furious that I’ve refused to contribute financially to paying for our home. I finally did get a job in October, something he’s wanted me to do for years, even though I’ve felt it was more important that I be there to raise our daughter.

But, even if I were to sell the stock, it would only delay the inevitable, it would do nothing to ensure we could meet the ongoing expense of staying here, and it would do nothing to address his not working. It would deplete my funds which were intended to be the start of a retirement fund and which I have instead had to use for any cash I’ve wanted during the past 9 years as I’ve stayed at home with our daughter (I’ve been extremely frugal, as this was a very small amount of money to begin with and I’ve only spent down 1/2 of it).

Thoughts?

CARose
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Well, a husband is supposed to support his family. I don’t think it will help anything to give him the money. In fact, I think it would only put you financially in danger. If he goes through with the divorce, I wouldn’t count on any financial help. I imagine he will either hide his income or continue to underachieve to avoid paying a reasonable child support and alimony.

Protect yourself and your daughter–spiritually and financially. It sounds to me like your husband is endangering his soul and needs serious prayer and fasting.

I wonder if we as a St. Monica group should pick a day to fast for our husbands. Maybe after Lent…
 
JMJ_Theresa,

Thanks for your response. What you say is the same advice I seem to be getting from all sides, except my insides. I think I need to accept the advice, and put aside the serious guilt I have been feeling about it. I think perhaps the guilt has been the temptation I’m being tested with, as it certainly has gotten me way of center as I’ve fretted over whether I’m disobeying God by not placating my husband.

And I’ve gone back and forth on where our relationship stands, as far as the obedience I owe him as a husband when he has refused to accept the role he promised so many years ago. He promised to be my husband, till death do us part, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health and yet he has refused the basic concept of support, either emotional or financial. And when it came to my attention that according to the Ecclesial Authority of the Church, we aren’t married until he submits his first marriage for review, he refused me even this comfort.

But I’ve struggled with the fact that I know that from his perspective, this simply looks “crazy”. Who, (“tell me who” I can hear him ask) would insist that a couple isn’t married when they’ve been married for years and have a daughter together? “Just ask anyone, they’ll tell you that of course we’re married, and for you to say otherwise is simply nuts!”

But at this point, I guess I’m having to let go and accept the fact that this is the path we’re on, the trajectory to which we’ve committed our lives. I need to again surrender my life to Christ and pray that His Will Be Done.

This is where temptation again comes into play, as I wish I knew just a little bit about what the future had to offer, and yet I hold firm to the truth that we are not to have a disordered interest in the future, but rather to place our trust in the Lord who will provide.

I used to be such a planner. I had a life plan, a 5 year plan, a monthly, weekly and daily plan. I enjoyed changing plans when I wouldn’t be letting someone down and something fun came up, but I had an overall plan and I gained great comfort in it.

Wow, where’d she go? That’s not me now.

While I don’t know where I’ll be (where I’ll be living, what I’ll be doing for an income, where our daughter will be going to school, etc.) I hope to regain some sense of balance by not having so many unknown variables in my life, as introduced by a husband who has his own agenda that he refuses to share (as in, will we or won’t we be getting divorce, is he or isn’t he looking for work, etc.). I want a routine that I can settle into, a budget that at least covers the basics. I pray that God gives me some sense of stability in the next phase of my life. Lord knows I’m ready for a sense of calm and stability.

I wish that my husband would be brought to Christ. Even if we’re not together, I know that as my daughter’s father, he will always play an important role in my life, even if only in that he will always be an influence in her life. I want her road to heaven to be as direct as possible and I pray that he not allow his anger at our situation to taint her. I really have been praying for his conversion, until I’ve felt perhaps a sense of dispair. I need to guard against dispair, even as I let go of some of my greatest hopes for our relationship being resolved through his conversion.

Well, thanks again for letting me vent. As you can tell, I’ve been bottling this up for a while, and I really needed to get it off my chest.

CARose
 
JMJ Theresa:
I wonder if we as a St. Monica group should pick a day to fast for our husbands. Maybe after Lent…
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Good idea!
I am a cradle Catholic and my husband is not a practicing “anything”. If he believes in God, he keeps it to himself. We were married in the Catholic Church and our children are being raised Catholic and attend a Catholic school. He will not attend church with us unless it is something special…i.e. Christmas, Easter. My husband is a good man but it is lonely being on a spiritual path without him. It isn’t enough in marriage to have a partner if he is not your spiritual partner as well. I cannot share the interior things that God works in my life with him and that is what hurts the most. God does not want us to build our marriage on shifting sands but on SOLID ROCK.
My father converted to Catholicism after 19 years of marriage to my mother. Her patient prayers and beautiful spiritual life were awesome to watch when I was a child. He never saw her tears for him. But I did. And my father became one of the most beautiful Catholics I have ever known. Quite the apologist! So I have hope with my husband and pray that I will be a holy witness to the faith to him.
 
I can’t believe it!!! I have seen amazing changes already! My husband is more calm, gentle and kind. I haven’t seen this in him for months!
Thankyou, thankyou all… we need to keep up the prayers!
I cannot believe the transformation.
I will be praying for all of you when I go to Adoration tomorrow.
God Bless you all!
 
Here is what my husband said to me in an email today:

Here is a revelation for you – you are the #1 reason I will never be Catholic. You are supposed to be taking the actual body and blood of Christ inside you, yet you are no different from the girl I knew two years ago, fours ago, six years ago. Sure you go to church all the time. Sure you pray the Rosary on Friday nights. Sure you go to retreats about Mary. But as far as having a change within? It isn’t there. You have no warmth. You have no love. You have no patience

Boy don’t I feel like the greatest wife ever.

Of course he does this to me from time to time, when we have a disagreement. Basically, if I’m not doing what he wants me to do, I’m not being a good enough Christian.

I’m also 3 weeks postpartum and I’m not doing well today.

Please pray for me.
 
Lone Catholic:
Here is what my husband said to me in an email today:

Here is a revelation for you – you are the #1 reason I will never be Catholic. You are supposed to be taking the actual body and blood of Christ inside you, yet you are no different from the girl I knew two years ago, fours ago, six years ago. Sure you go to church all the time. Sure you pray the Rosary on Friday nights. Sure you go to retreats about Mary. But as far as having a change within? It isn’t there. You have no warmth. You have no love. You have no patience

Boy don’t I feel like the greatest wife ever.

Of course he does this to me from time to time, when we have a disagreement. Basically, if I’m not doing what he wants me to do, I’m not being a good enough Christian.

I’m also 3 weeks postpartum and I’m not doing well today.

Please pray for me.
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I think it is pretty insensitive of your husband to say such unkind things to you at this time. 3 weeks postpartum. I’m sure it is because of sleep deprivation. Try to overlook it.

I am not a great wife when I’m pregnant (esp. those last months) and those first months with a new baby. Maybe he is just feeling neglected.

It also sounds like he knows how to push your buttons. 😦
We are supposed to help our spouses get to Heaven, but we are not the responsible for their souls. They have to save their own souls.

For a practical suggestion, I would recommend you both read the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

fivelovelanguages.com/

Marriage is hard, hard, hard. Which is why we need the sacramental graces of matrimony.

Congratulation on your baby!!! Do something nice for yourself, today.

Sending prayers.
 
Lone Catholic said:
Here is what my husband said to me in an email today:
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Here is a revelation for you – you are the #1 reason I will never be Catholic. You are supposed to be taking the actual body and blood of Christ inside you, yet you are no different from the girl I knew two years ago, fours ago, six years ago. Sure you go to church all the time. Sure you pray the Rosary on Friday nights. Sure you go to retreats about Mary. But as far as having a change within? It isn’t there. You have no warmth. You have no love. You have no patience
Click to expand...
Boy don’t I feel like the greatest wife ever.

Of course he does this to me from time to time, when we have a disagreement. Basically, if I’m not doing what he wants me to do, I’m not being a good enough Christian.

I’m also 3 weeks postpartum and I’m not doing well today.

Please pray for me.
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Is it always the way? When we need them the most, especially after having a baby, that’s when we have to do it alone. I’m sure the fact that you remain patient with him when he says such things prove there is a change within. A woman with no faith would throw a frying pan at him!!
Anyway, that probably wasn’t very helpful. Sorry.
I’m in a similar position, although my husband does go to church, he thinks he will not be better until I am a saint!
I will pray for you today.
 
Thanks Jules and JMJ. I’m having a really hard time right now. This is my 4th baby in 6 years. I have had help since he was born 3 weeks ago, but I’m very frightened about next week when I am on my own with the 4 of them. The youngest are 2 (almost 3) and 19 months. So I have a batch of little ones and boy are they draining!! Someone always needs something! And I’m trying to homeschool my oldest who is 5.

It is funny (but not the laughing kind!) but any emotional issues that I have had since the baby was born were all due to my husband. He is just so insensitive and selfish and above all… ALWAYS right! The day after the baby was born he got really mad at me b/c he asked me to watch the older children so he could go to the bathroom and I said I couldn’t. He was REALLY mad at me. I had the baby at home so I was home, but normally, I would not have even been home to help with anything! My midwife had told me to stay in the bed and not do anything. But no matter what I said… he was right. I refused to help him.

Then he started in on the whining about no luvin… And pressured me and pressured me to do something that he knows I can’t do b/c of Church teachings. Basically forced me to do that and left me not respecting him at all. He did apologize for that finally yesterday. But that was very hard on me emotionally.

Then a couple of days ago, he let the 19 mo. old get on the bed with the baby and was walking in and out of our bathroom. I said “Do you think that is a good idea?” He said, “Yeah, I’m watching her.” I said “REALLY, right now, you are watching her?” because he was in the bathroom with his back to them. I went and got both older kids off the bed (the 3 year old had joined the 19 month old by this time!). He got sooo mad at me–said I said it in such a tone as to imply that he is a horrible father and the stupidest person in the world. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

It seems like all I have heard from him since the baby was born is whining about his needs, his problems. I just need him to be a grown up and not give me something else to worry about!! But all day long yesterday we emailed back and forth with him defending his position.

I’m sorry, I have gotten very long-winded. My mother-in-law is in town, on top of it all. My midwife put me back on bedrest for a few days because I started bleeding again, so I had an excuse to stay home today and everyone else is out of the house, so I needed to vent while I had the chance!

Oh, I posted a question in the apologist section about my husband’s statement about the Eucharist not making me a better person. I really like Fr.'s answer:
My Protestant husband has used the argument against me several times lately that I should be a better Christian than he since I am receiving the Body and Blood of Christ weekly, and because I am part of the “one true Church”. I have told him that I do not claim to be any better than him, that I only do the best I can, but am still a sinner. Also, that it is not magical in any way and the people receiving the Eucharist are still just people.

Is he right? Should I be a better person for receiving Christ weekly?

Lone Catholic

#2 Yesterday, 05:16 PM
Fr. Vincent Serpa
Catholic Answers Apologist Join Date: May 4, 2004
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,325

Re: Does receiving Christ in the Eucharist make us more holy?
Dear LC,

Your husband is in no place to be able to judge the state of your soul. He has no way of knowing how holy you would be if you were not receiving the sacraments. He also doesn’t know how much better he would be if he were receiving them. He is really just out there in the cold, trying to imagine what the warmth around the fire is really like and insisting that it’s really just as cold as it is where he is.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.
 
LC, I’m so sorry for you. When I had the first four, my oldest was six, so I know how draining it is. It gets so much easier when the older kids can help. Moms told me that all the time when my guys were all little. At the time, it didn’t really comfort me, when I was just trying to get through each day. But, it is true. In a couple of years, life will be better.

It is just a stressful time, in general. The best thing you can do for you is to cultivate several like minded friends in the same vocation. Homeschooling moms are the best!

I can tell you are angry and frustrated with your husband. He sounds immature. But, it won’t help you at all to stay angry. I know when I’m overwhelmed I blame everything on my husband–deserved and undeserved. Your dh is stressed out, too and he doesn’t have the resources (sacraments) that you do.

I say drop the homeschooling for the year. And, just concentrate on finding peace. Simplify everything you can–use convenience foods, paper plates, whatever. Take every offer of help you can.

Obviously, the man won’t be much help with the littles. Maybe he is better with the older kids? I know all your resources are used up taking care of your little guys. It is hard to have anything left over for your dh. Maybe God will reveal a way for you to connect with him in a positive way.

I’m offering my kitchen cleaning for you today–believe me, it is a wreck!!!
 
Wow… this is a long awaited thread!

(Just as a side note–I changed my username today. I wasn’t a high-profile forum member before, but I have been a member for a couple years. I changed my name because the old one revealed my real-life last name and I don’t want to share that information as I talk about sensitive subjects regarding my dh.)

My story…

I’m a fairly recent convert to the faith (2004). I met my husband in Central America on a mission trip soon after my conversion and felt swept off my feet right away. I married him way too soon, just seven months after meeting him.

And there’s another catch–we were married outside the Church. I was originally catechised at a more liberal catholic parish (not my parish today). So my catholic education was really incomplete. I didn’t even know that catholics must marry in the church! When I found out that our marriage was invalid, my husband agreed to marry me in the Church and to postpone marital relations until after the convalidation. He is a baptized catholic and before marriage he had deliberately led me to believe that he was more religious than he really felt. I was already pregnant when we found out that our marriage was invalid, and we were also separated while waiting for his US visa to be approved.

Then when the baby was born (and before the convalidation) everything fell apart. The very day I got home from the hospital my husband started anti-Catholic ranting and began to beat and threaten me. I never provoked him in any way… I am not perfect but I was a good, respectful wife. That was last October.

My pastor wisely refused to convalidate our marriage when he found out that my husband had been abusive. My husband went into domestic violence treatment but his behavior escalated and finally in February I called the police, placed a protection order, and had my husband move out.

Since he moved out he has started going to therapy. He seems to be making an honest effort to right his life and win back his family (his son and I). I attribute this to the intervention of St. Joseph, to whom I have prayed over and over for the conversion of my husband’s soul. But I am wary and am prepared to wait many months to see if these changes endure.

In this brief account of our problems he probably sounds like a monster… but he isn’t. He grew up in orphanages and was horribly abused his whole childhood long, in every way imaginable. He is a man with noble intentions but he must learn how to deal with his poor upbringing and how to interact positively with those he cares for. This is not to excuse him. I am well aware of the gravity of the damage he has done. He has done very bad things but he has also done very good things and is at heart a very simple, honest person.

My husband has a firm belief in God but is scared of organized religion because those who abused him were “religious” people and clergy, mostly evangelicals but some catholics, too. His sentiments regarding the Church are very unusual. He is incredibly supportive of our son being raised catholic. He goes to mass himself but does not receive the Holy Eucharist or go to reconciliation and says he is not a catholic.

I have complete faith that Jesus is transforming my husband into a good, catholic man but I do not know how long the change will take. Right now I am trying to hang on and be patient, and to deal with my life as a single mother. I thought I was going to be a stay-at-home homeschooling mother of many and so this unexpected lifestyle change is a little traumatic for me. Without the grace of God I would be a wreck every day. (And even with His grace I am still sometimes a wreck! 😛 )

I participate in an online support group for Christian wives but I am the only Catholic there. It would be nice to talk with Catholic women about these things and know I’m understood. I will be praying for all of you and I hope you will pray for me, too!
 
I’ve been following this thread for awhile, and think it’s a great place to offer support for one another. I’m a cradle Catholic, and I have to admit I was poorly catechized. I always imagined that I would marry a Catholic man, but ended up marrying my best friend (a Baptist) from college. I was attracted to him because of his spirituality and kind heart. He has a great respect for the Catholic church, and has attended mass with me nearly every Sunday of our married life (a great blessing, I know!)

I really didn’t understand my faith until about three years ago. We had a very stressful time in our life with a lay-off, new baby, move, and new (significantly reduced) salary for my husband. Oh, and also, Theresa, I hated our new house!! I remember reading your thread on this same topic—I can relate. I was convinced at the time that some good would come out of that experience, and my prayers were answered in the form of my hunger to learn more about my faith. I spent endless late nights reading and as a result came to understand the wisdom of the Church’s teaching on ABC. Another great blessing is that my husband listened to Christopher West’s CD Marriage and the Eucharist, and agreed to practice NFP.

Still, he doesn’t really see the need to convert. I sometimes feel so alone in my faith life. I worry that I am not doing enough to pass the faith on to my children, and wish that my husband would take more seriously his role as the spiritual head of the household. It has been a struggle for me to change my ways as well. I want to develop a deeper prayer life, but feel like I’m doing all I can to keep my family fed, do the laundry done, and grade the endless flow of papers (I teach part time at a community college).

My concerns seem trivial compared to some of the others that I’ve read here, but it does help to know that there are others out there struggling with some of these same issues. Keeping all of you in my prayers!
 
God bless all of you who are on this thread!

I will add my name to the list. I’m a cradle Catholic, was very active in parish life and my faith during my teen and young adult years. When I got married (the first time), I married a baptized Baptist, but he did not follow his faith, and went to the Catholic church with me. We managed to get our sons baptized in the Church, but after he left, I continued to give my children the Catholic upbringing I thought they needed, tho I wasn’t much of a practicing Catholic at that point.

Seven years after my divorce, I married a man who recieved his sacraments in the Anglican Church in Canada. When we first married, I was very lukewarm in my faith at best, and he barely practiced his, but when I did go to Mass, he came with me. He had no objections to the Catholic faith - he feels that the Anglican and Catholic churches are very similiar, and it felt really familiar to him to go to Mass with me (without taking the Eucharist, of course.)

About a year ago, I reverted back to the Church in a big way, and I think this really surprised him. In my enthusiasm, I was throwing around apologetics, doctrines, theology, “you-should-do-this” or “you-should-do-that” at him to the point where he was starting to get a little annoyed with me. Thank goodness I’ve calmed down quite a bit since then, but my faith is still very strong.

My husband always says to me, “I don’t go to church unless it’s for weddings or funerals.” He tells me that in the line of work he does, it doesn’t give him much weekends to go to Church. I know he says that in order to let me know that his faith isn’t as strong as mine…he did have some objections to why we should follow the Magisterium, or why we always insist on the fact that the Church is the one True Church. It’s probably because he doesn’t want to really give up his Anglican faith, due to the fact that his mother fought really hard to make sure he and his sisters received their sacraments in the Anglican Church. But for the most part, he’s very supportive in my own faith and the religious upbringing we’re giving to our son through the Catholic Church.

I sometimes feel like if he can just educate himself more on the Catholic Church, and not get so hung-up on the not-so-good eras in the history of the Church, he would be converting before I knew it. But that’s just it…he really isn’t into educating himself into the Church. For now, I’m just happy he attends Mass with us every weekend.

BTW, Catholicism isn’t really foreign to him…his late grandmother on his father’s side was Catholic, and very devout, I hear…maybe I’m hoping she would nudge him somehow…
 
Ya’ll probably won’t believe me… but something is at work here!!!

I pray alot for my DH and a conversion of heart for him… .especially to come to the Church.

He’s in Iraq right now and we were talking on IM 10 minutes ago. I told him about my anxiety of going to Palm Sunday Mass and our girls beating each other with palms (I was being a smart aleck, but every parent knows kids do this at least once). Anyway… he tells me “XX forgot it was Palm Sunday!” And I go “Is XX Catholic?” and he goes “Yep.” (XX is his translator). So guess who has an Iraqi Catholic working with him!!! And I’m so excited! I get to send him Palms from Mass and I’m sending a rosary to him! That is so awesome!!! I’m just so excited that God put this man with my husband. A man that knows the true meaning of pursecution for your faith.
Please, keep praying!!! What a neat sign to show me God has my husband and is working on him!!!

(Ok, so maybe I’m reading into it, but when you talk to an Iraqi about the Catholic Faith… there has GOT to be SOMEthing about the Church that calls them to the truth and embrace that truth in the face of pursecution!.. did that make sense??)
 
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