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jules11
Guest
I believe you!!!
I think you’re reading it right!!! We should never underestimate God and how He can change things.
This is wonderful!! I’m very happy for you. I hope your husband comes to know the beauty of the church soon. We need to keep each other informed about the positive things that happen. All the little miracles!
I know I have seen them in the last few days!
J
jules11
Guest
Hi everyone!!
Well, I have seen a real change in my husband in the last few days!! Not saying that it may not go sour again, but its certainly on the improve.
Thanks for all your prayers!!
God Bless you all and your families!
Well, I have seen a real change in my husband in the last few days!! Not saying that it may not go sour again, but its certainly on the improve.
Thanks for all your prayers!!
God Bless you all and your families!
S
sparkle
Guest
I can’t believe I just went on CA and found this thread! An answer to prayer for me!! AND these books! I was feeling teary-eyed tonite and hoping to find some encouragement on here re: my husband, when I found these two very helpful books! Thanks. Even though we attend Church together every Sunday, I feel my husband is a non-believer. I’m a Catholic Convert as of a year ago. He’s nothing. He sleeps in church and rushes to leave every Sunday, (a good example for my kids)!! He’s pitiful and I’m really losing all feeling for him. I just almost cried tonite, thinking "How God have I endured this marriage for 17 years, and I have to endure it for another 30? How must I endure this cross to bear? I really do feel it’s because my H is a non-Christian. It’s like he has a huge void inside him. I also feel he doesn’t love me, never has. Why? Because he doesn’t have love inside him that only comes from God. I used to be madly in love with him, until he hurt me and disappointed me repeatedly over the past 4 years and I’m afraid I don’t know what to do to get back the feelings.I was looking for Chrisian books for church today and came across these titles:
Amazon.com: Raising Kids Christian When Your Husband Doesn’t Believe: Books: Michael J. Fanstone
Amazon.com: When He Doesn’t Believe : Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in Their Faith: Books: Nancy Kennedy
I bought them. Thought I’d pass along the info here.
In Christ,
Nancy
I’ll get both these books tomorrow! Please pray for me friends. I don’t know what to do! Where to turn. I wonder if there’s any other women on here married for as long as me or longer who have this also as a cross to bear in their life? Please share.
J
JMJ_Theresa
Guest
My husband came home the other night and said that he was going to drop an archery event to take the boys to their ConQuest retreat/campout. I did no prodding at all. In fact, I was going to recruit Grandpa to take them. I was so happily shocked.
I am praying for all of you. Our marriage is going well now, but there was a time when I thought he was going to leave over NFP. He told me that he would never attend Mass again and would never ever join the Church. There has been much healing. One thing that came out of that very bad time (it lasted about three years–with ups and downs) was that I learned to let go. I stopped initiating conversations about the faith.
And, I stopped begging and nagging him to go to Church with us. After one very bad argument on a Sat. even, I got up and started getting the kids ready for Mass. I had very little children then and as I was dressing a toddler and an infant, my dh asked me why I wasn’t leaving them home with him (our usual practice). I said matter of factly (even pleasantly), that this was my life now and I had to get used to it. He was really taken aback. I was sincere. By the time I was ready to go out the door, he was dressed and got in the van with us.
At the time, I was shocked then.
Things have really improved and I think part of it was the letting go and accepting that I could not change him.
I am thanking everyone for the prayers. And pledging my continuing prayers for you! St. Monica, pray for us.
I am praying for all of you. Our marriage is going well now, but there was a time when I thought he was going to leave over NFP. He told me that he would never attend Mass again and would never ever join the Church. There has been much healing. One thing that came out of that very bad time (it lasted about three years–with ups and downs) was that I learned to let go. I stopped initiating conversations about the faith.
And, I stopped begging and nagging him to go to Church with us. After one very bad argument on a Sat. even, I got up and started getting the kids ready for Mass. I had very little children then and as I was dressing a toddler and an infant, my dh asked me why I wasn’t leaving them home with him (our usual practice). I said matter of factly (even pleasantly), that this was my life now and I had to get used to it. He was really taken aback. I was sincere. By the time I was ready to go out the door, he was dressed and got in the van with us.
At the time, I was shocked then.
Things have really improved and I think part of it was the letting go and accepting that I could not change him.
I am thanking everyone for the prayers. And pledging my continuing prayers for you! St. Monica, pray for us.
J
JMJ_Theresa
Guest
Jules, I am sure that there will be lots of ups and downs. It is so important to find peace that comes from Jesus. There was a time of great anxiety in my marriage. I went to Adoration, and I felt Jesus tell me that He would take care of me no matter what. He didn’t promise that my dh would leave. He just said that he would take care of me and the kids. It took me several weeks to let go of the anxiety. My anxiety was actually making things worse. I’m don’t know that you are having the anxiety that I had during that time. I just wanted to share my heavenly lesson.
Whatever the ups and downs, we have to find our peace. Easier said than done, I know. I am happy for you in this good time. I hope it just keeps getting better and better!
C
CARose
Guest
I haven’t had much time for the forums lately, but I thought I stop in and see if this thread (abbreviated as it is) could be resurrected.
Quick update for those who followed it before the Forums were brought down.
The house was in escrow, but it fell through, so we’re back at square 1, with it being on the market.
In the meantime, he’s been the agent on another sale which did close escrow, so he’s got some money in his pocket, putting him in a somewhat better mood. However, I only know this through our daughter, whom he took with him to buy his clients a house warming gift. I don’t know how much he made and he has refused to acknowledge the sale (although I have not brought up what I know).
They are offering Retrouvaille in October and I’d like to ask him to go, but as I’ve asked him every year for the past I think 4 years, and it only makes him mad when I do ask, I’m hesitant to even try. It’s just that I’ve heard of such miraculous things happening in marriages that were beyond dead (divorces already in place). I’d sure love some prayer that I find courage, correct time, words and tone for asking, and an open heart on his side for hearing my request.
Thanks,
CARose
Quick update for those who followed it before the Forums were brought down.
The house was in escrow, but it fell through, so we’re back at square 1, with it being on the market.
In the meantime, he’s been the agent on another sale which did close escrow, so he’s got some money in his pocket, putting him in a somewhat better mood. However, I only know this through our daughter, whom he took with him to buy his clients a house warming gift. I don’t know how much he made and he has refused to acknowledge the sale (although I have not brought up what I know).
They are offering Retrouvaille in October and I’d like to ask him to go, but as I’ve asked him every year for the past I think 4 years, and it only makes him mad when I do ask, I’m hesitant to even try. It’s just that I’ve heard of such miraculous things happening in marriages that were beyond dead (divorces already in place). I’d sure love some prayer that I find courage, correct time, words and tone for asking, and an open heart on his side for hearing my request.
Thanks,
CARose
M
Maria1212
Guest
Dear CARose,
I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
Sincerely,
Maria1212
I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
Sincerely,
Maria1212
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spalady
Guest
I just spent over 30 minutes - typing in a response and it has just disappeared. Anyway I love this thread.
My agnostic husband has just told me he will go to Mass with us tomorrow. This will be the first time. My kids are 6 and 8 and not baptized. They started RCIA (for children) last week. I converted to Catholicism 27 years ago when I was 18 - but left the Church about 15 years ago. I came back last year. I went through RCIA again. I am no longer a cafeteria Catholic. My husband refuses to accept NFP - so we’re in a state of no marital relations. I’m hoping to get our marriage convalidated. We were free to marry - and neither had been married before. I believe we will be able to work out our differences on NFP.
My family is pretty much anti-Catholic. I’ve only told my sister-in-law that I’m back in the Church - she never knew I was. She has two aunts who are religious sisters.
Anyway last week I went to an adoration chapel. It was my first time ever. It helped me.
I’ve been praying for some time - that my children and husband join me in the Church. My children need their father to be a better role model.
This is a good step.
The other day I was listening to CA Live - and heard some of the talk about narcissim in marriage. Through the website I stumbled across Catholic therapists. That’s something I really need.
Please pray for me. I will pray for all. Thanks CARose for starting this up again.
My agnostic husband has just told me he will go to Mass with us tomorrow. This will be the first time. My kids are 6 and 8 and not baptized. They started RCIA (for children) last week. I converted to Catholicism 27 years ago when I was 18 - but left the Church about 15 years ago. I came back last year. I went through RCIA again. I am no longer a cafeteria Catholic. My husband refuses to accept NFP - so we’re in a state of no marital relations. I’m hoping to get our marriage convalidated. We were free to marry - and neither had been married before. I believe we will be able to work out our differences on NFP.
My family is pretty much anti-Catholic. I’ve only told my sister-in-law that I’m back in the Church - she never knew I was. She has two aunts who are religious sisters.
Anyway last week I went to an adoration chapel. It was my first time ever. It helped me.
I’ve been praying for some time - that my children and husband join me in the Church. My children need their father to be a better role model.
This is a good step.The other day I was listening to CA Live - and heard some of the talk about narcissim in marriage. Through the website I stumbled across Catholic therapists. That’s something I really need.
Please pray for me. I will pray for all. Thanks CARose for starting this up again.
C
CARose
Guest
SpaLady,
How wonderful that your DH will be going with you to Mass. I too spent many years away from the Church (having been a cradle Catholic). But I’ve also realized that the truth doesn’t work with pick and choose cafeteria style Catholicism.
I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
God Bless,
CARose
How wonderful that your DH will be going with you to Mass. I too spent many years away from the Church (having been a cradle Catholic). But I’ve also realized that the truth doesn’t work with pick and choose cafeteria style Catholicism.
I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
God Bless,
CARose
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wgholland
Guest
Wow - it dawned on me that I hadn’t visited this thread and my St. Monica sisters in a couple of months, but didn’t realize it had been this long…there is no trace of me!! So I was reading catching up w/ everyone and was so interested in what I think Terri suggested. Let’s pick a day to fast for our husbands.
My DH has been gone working in South Texas for over a month now. Our little R just had her 1st birthday party. We do lot’s of webcam and videos emailed to him to keep up close. I have been praying for him. You’d think you wouldn’t fight w/ someone when they were away but it does happen.
He works away from home alot but I really need him to step up as father and get into a Christian mode and take the worldly glasses off. I am still praying for another child and for the softening of his heart to accept another blessing into our lives.
It wasn’t but probably 1 1/2 months ago, I thought that I might be pregnant and while I was glad I was afraid b/c he is so against another child. My spiritual director had suggested I meditate on how Mary must’ve felt when she knew she had to tell Joseph…and that was tremendously helpful b/c she prayed for me I know to relieve my anxiety. Since I wasn’t pregnant, I never even brought it up to him.
He is barely a participant in NFP. He has just recently asked me in a funny way if it was okay or not…well last month when he was home. So I am praying for him, and will continue to ask Joseph to pray for grace for him to be a good husband and father. He is good toward little R but he somewhat puts me on the backburner. He claims he needs to wind down, which I understand, but the romance is so gone- it’s a vacuum. So pls pray for me also b/c I am trying to stay focused on my mission of service to him and my family as well as my work. I am overwhelmed some days. One day in particular, I emailed him to ask him to pray for me b/c I just felt like I was coming up short no matter what I was doing and was very frustrated…he sent me roses and a nice note, along w/ a loving email.
I guess marriages are just hard. I am not in St. Monica’s shoes but I know b/c how hard she had it, she must know how to pray for me to our Father. I often wonder why I even want another baby…but my heart yearns for it. Even though I can see the impending normalcy on the horizon, I still want another baby.
He may be home this week and I need to give him space to decompress b/c it has been a hetic job I know. It is hard to back off and let the Lord care for him and guide him, b/c I think I’m right here, I can do it!!
So now I am rambling and hope that I can be a better sister in the future. Right now I have prayed for all of us. Strength and courage in Jesus Christ.
Wendy
My DH has been gone working in South Texas for over a month now. Our little R just had her 1st birthday party. We do lot’s of webcam and videos emailed to him to keep up close. I have been praying for him. You’d think you wouldn’t fight w/ someone when they were away but it does happen.
He works away from home alot but I really need him to step up as father and get into a Christian mode and take the worldly glasses off. I am still praying for another child and for the softening of his heart to accept another blessing into our lives.
It wasn’t but probably 1 1/2 months ago, I thought that I might be pregnant and while I was glad I was afraid b/c he is so against another child. My spiritual director had suggested I meditate on how Mary must’ve felt when she knew she had to tell Joseph…and that was tremendously helpful b/c she prayed for me I know to relieve my anxiety. Since I wasn’t pregnant, I never even brought it up to him.
He is barely a participant in NFP. He has just recently asked me in a funny way if it was okay or not…well last month when he was home. So I am praying for him, and will continue to ask Joseph to pray for grace for him to be a good husband and father. He is good toward little R but he somewhat puts me on the backburner. He claims he needs to wind down, which I understand, but the romance is so gone- it’s a vacuum. So pls pray for me also b/c I am trying to stay focused on my mission of service to him and my family as well as my work. I am overwhelmed some days. One day in particular, I emailed him to ask him to pray for me b/c I just felt like I was coming up short no matter what I was doing and was very frustrated…he sent me roses and a nice note, along w/ a loving email.
I guess marriages are just hard. I am not in St. Monica’s shoes but I know b/c how hard she had it, she must know how to pray for me to our Father. I often wonder why I even want another baby…but my heart yearns for it. Even though I can see the impending normalcy on the horizon, I still want another baby.
He may be home this week and I need to give him space to decompress b/c it has been a hetic job I know. It is hard to back off and let the Lord care for him and guide him, b/c I think I’m right here, I can do it!!
So now I am rambling and hope that I can be a better sister in the future. Right now I have prayed for all of us. Strength and courage in Jesus Christ.
Wendy
S
Struggle
Guest
Please, please, please include me in your prayers!!! I have never been so happy to see a thread title as I am with this one! I am a cradle Catholic married to a Lutheran man and it is my deepest and most sincere desire that he become Catholic. He is very anti-Catholic and it would take a small miracle for him to convert and overcome his dislike/misconceptions of Catholicism - not to mention the anger/disappointment it would cause in his family (his father is a minister). I will pray for all of you as your stories echo my own.
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wgholland
Guest
Oh my gosh, I was struck w/ something I just felt like the Holy Spirit is leaning on me to share w/ each of you.
Yesterday I was reading, in this issue of the Word Among Us, a little essay on 9/11 and our response to this crazy event. The author likened it to David and Goliath and David’s spiritual assessment of the situation. “As far as he was concerned, Goliath was challenging God, and such a challenge needed to be answered. “You come to me with sword and spear and javelin,” David cried out to Goliath. “But I come ot you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel” (1 Samuel 17:45).”
So wow, this was the challenge then and on 9/11, and to move farther, in our everyday lives we have those overwhelming things going on in our lives that want to pin us down physically, spiritually, and emotionally ruin us. What is our response going to be sisters?? We have to see these daily struggles in this light I believe as part of our spiritual battle.
Each one of us married men we love, most of us sacramental marriages, some possibly not…but to say God did not place us with this man for a purpose is to negate many long standing marriages. I have often supposed that so many good Catholic women are found with non-Catholic husbands b/c God knows we will help to bring them where they need to be…He knows we do not give up…but will fight to the death…that my sisters is my message for today.
Take up our swords and fight the looming heaviness that would drag you down today, not by your own power but by the power of God Almighty who lives and has his being in each of us.
Amen, amen!!
Yesterday I was reading, in this issue of the Word Among Us, a little essay on 9/11 and our response to this crazy event. The author likened it to David and Goliath and David’s spiritual assessment of the situation. “As far as he was concerned, Goliath was challenging God, and such a challenge needed to be answered. “You come to me with sword and spear and javelin,” David cried out to Goliath. “But I come ot you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel” (1 Samuel 17:45).”
So wow, this was the challenge then and on 9/11, and to move farther, in our everyday lives we have those overwhelming things going on in our lives that want to pin us down physically, spiritually, and emotionally ruin us. What is our response going to be sisters?? We have to see these daily struggles in this light I believe as part of our spiritual battle.
Each one of us married men we love, most of us sacramental marriages, some possibly not…but to say God did not place us with this man for a purpose is to negate many long standing marriages. I have often supposed that so many good Catholic women are found with non-Catholic husbands b/c God knows we will help to bring them where they need to be…He knows we do not give up…but will fight to the death…that my sisters is my message for today.
Take up our swords and fight the looming heaviness that would drag you down today, not by your own power but by the power of God Almighty who lives and has his being in each of us.
Amen, amen!!
S
Struggle
Guest
Thanks for that encouraging and inspiring post!!
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wgholland
Guest
I omitted the fact that our non-Catholic husbands can so greatly bring us to where we need to be…when we act in faith…closer to Him.
L
Lone_Catholic
Guest
Soooo… what happened to the forums? We moved in July, and I was offline for a while, then when I went in to check on you ladies, the forums were down! 
I’ve still been praying for everyone. Are the missing posts gone forever now?
I’ve still been praying for everyone. Are the missing posts gone forever now?
L
Lone_Catholic
Guest
OHHH, never mind, I just read Jimmy Akin’s announcement on what happened. Anyway, I missed you all and I’m glad to be back!
T
tamccrackine
Guest
No kidding! I missed ya’ll too and I just found this thread in my “bulk folder”. I get the updates each evening to keep up on everyone and now that CAF is back up, it’s going in my junk folder instead of inbox! I’ll have to change that…
thank you for that story wgholland. It reminds me of our bible study we had for this morning. We always study the following Sunday’s scripture readings and this coming Sunday talks about how we are to discern an “answer” to our prayers and learn to accept that sometimes we have to overcome our own desires but to be humble and accept “thine will be done.”
I’ve always noticed that when I finally stop struggling against God’s will when it seems like my life is going to heck in a handbasket… the answers to my problems become very clear and it clicks.
A
Asella
Guest
My husband is not baptized, and his parents are the Fundamentalist type, so the Catholic church and our way of worshipping is very foreign to him. Before we married, my husband agreed that he would never stand in the way or object to my faith, and he has kept his promise. He agreed to use NFP throughout our marriage (which has unfortunately resulted in no children
) and he agreed that I could raise any future children as Catholic. He has never objected to me going to Mass, or to anything else involved with the Catholic church. He’s not too crazy about me giving money to the church, but he doesn’t make an issue out of it. In that respect, I consider myself lucky. However, my husband has no faith. He does not dislike the Catholic church, but he’s not about to start going to church every week either. Right now I think he is undergoing his own personal spiritual battle, questioning God’s ways. Sometimes it seems like he firmly believes in God, and other times it seems like he doesn’t even believe God exists. He doesn’t really know what to think. He also has a few sinful habits which he says are not wrong, but I think he knows better and he’s just not ready to give up his sinful ways. So I pray for him, and I will pray for all of you also.
) and he agreed that I could raise any future children as Catholic. He has never objected to me going to Mass, or to anything else involved with the Catholic church. He’s not too crazy about me giving money to the church, but he doesn’t make an issue out of it. In that respect, I consider myself lucky. However, my husband has no faith. He does not dislike the Catholic church, but he’s not about to start going to church every week either. Right now I think he is undergoing his own personal spiritual battle, questioning God’s ways. Sometimes it seems like he firmly believes in God, and other times it seems like he doesn’t even believe God exists. He doesn’t really know what to think. He also has a few sinful habits which he says are not wrong, but I think he knows better and he’s just not ready to give up his sinful ways. So I pray for him, and I will pray for all of you also.
W
wgholland
Guest
I was serious regarding a fast and I am going to propose next Tues. I want to give everyone enough time to find each other again and hopefully not miss out. Next Tues, Sept 19th…I will be fasting for my husband and clarity he needs to do God’s will also as well as for our marriage, that it be the thing of beauty that it was designed to be. Pretty lofty huh?? Oh well I’m still idealistic. But anyway, pls let us join our prayers together next Tuesday for each of our husbands and marriages…I hope to hear from you soon. Consider yourself invited…
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