St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

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Hi Everyone,
Well I fasted yesterday and it was hard so I hope it helps. We are in a pretty desperate situation at the moment. Once again we are separated. We were separated for 3 months this year, from April to July and had been trying to make it work and it’s just gone from bad to worse. I have been coping ok but having a down day today. He’s coming to pick up his stuff this afternoon. I’m so sad for what we could have. We have an (almost) one year old son and 5 other children between us and they are all affected. My husband’s main problem is not being able to take responsibility for his actions. Instead he blames things on me. So if he can’t be responsible for his behaviour, then it will never change.
I am not innocent in this at all, but I admit it, he just won’t.
I’m feeling sick to my stomach at the moment, worrying about the future and months of this roller coaster ride, like i had before.
Please pray for us…
God bless and thanks…
 
jules11 said:
Hi Everyone,
Well I fasted yesterday and it was hard so I hope it helps. We are in a pretty desperate situation at the moment. Once again we are separated. We were separated for 3 months this year, from April to July and had been trying to make it work and it’s just gone from bad to worse. I have been coping ok but having a down day today. He’s coming to pick up his stuff this afternoon. I’m so sad for what we could have. We have an (almost) one year old son and 5 other children between us and they are all affected. My husband’s main problem is not being able to take responsibility for his actions. Instead he blames things on me. So if he can’t be responsible for his behaviour, then it will never change.
I am not innocent in this at all, but I admit it, he just won’t.
I’m feeling sick to my stomach at the moment, worrying about the future and months of this roller coaster ride, like i had before.
Please pray for us…
God bless and thanks…
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Keeping you in my prayers!
 
Hi Jules11,

I am so sorry to hear that things took a downturn with your husband. I will definitely keep you, your husband, and children in my prayers.

Sincerely,
Maria1212
 
I too am keeping you in my prayers jules11. I usually say a divine mercy chaplet and the rosary each day, and I will remember your struggle today while I pray. I will pray for everyone in this thread as well!

I hope our fast has some impact for each of us. It was very hard for me. I am a nursing mother so I did allow myself a yogurt at lunch! It was still hard! How did everyone else do?
 
Glad to hear you did good Struggle b/c I am a nursing mother too. Except R goes to Mother’s Day out now so the demand is put off somewhat. She has really no signs of weaning, but I’m not sure what to expect since she is my first.

I managed to make it but was hungry to the point of being snippy when I was getting supper ready!! It is such a small thing isn’t it. I pray that each of us rec’d something for our sacrifice even if it was only the recognition that it can be done more often b/c we know we can. That is a big thing in itself b/c fasting is supposed to be part of our Christian life.

I pray that in some small way each of our lives have been enriched and our hearts joined with Christ’s. Good day everyone!!
 
Hi everyone,

I was curious to know what occupations the wives on this forum have whether they are stay at home moms or whether they work outside the home. (I wish I was a stay at home mom so I envy those of you who are) Also what occupations your husbands have. Most on this thread seem well educated and I was curious as to how many if any of you are similar to me. I am a secretary with an associate degree and my husband is a high school graduate and disabled (tractor accident) but does help his brother on the farm with whatever he is capable of doing. Our financial situation is tight and sometimes that adds to the conflict at our house. We both grew up on the family farms and so I knew what I was getting into when I married a farmer but it is hard. Thanks for listening.
 
Hi everyone,
Everything has gone from bad to worse with my husband and me. It is so ugly. I’m scared of how far this will go. He’s so angry, nothing is stopping the venom that is coming out. The children are all feeling it as I am so stressed. I don’t mean to be selfish when I don’t answer anyone elses posts, but this is all consuming at the moment. Sometimes I wish I wouldn’t wake up to have to face all this again. But God keeps me going. Please pray for my husband. He needs prayers desperately.
God bless you all
 
I am SOOO glad to see so many people asking for help from St. Monica, like I am! My husband and I were both raised Catholic, but just this year, my husband has stopped going to Church, moved out of the house in Feb. and back in in June, then moved out again on Aug. 3rd (the same day he filed for divorce)! It has been one TERRIBLE year for me so far! I think he’s going through a mid-life crisis and suffers as a “functioning alcoholic”, but he doesn’t seem to think that he has any problems. Before he left the 2nd time, I begged him to seek outside help with me, but he was unwilling. Now, I can do nothing but pray for him to have a “change of heart”. To me, this would be comparable to the conversion that St. Monica prayed for in her family. My husband has never been the “strongest” in his faith (he wasn’t practicing when we first met), but while dating, he went to Mass regularly with me, etc. and we were married in the Church. It’s like he has just thrown everything away that he was brought up believing. Fortunately, my children are teenagers and I think they see that his behavior goes against everything that we’ve ever taught them.

I remind them always to pray for their Dad because he’s not the same person he used to be. I’ve even told him that directly, too. Along with all the other husbands mentioned here, please keep my husband in your prayers too. I’ve been married for 20 years and can’t believe he’d just throw everything away like he is doing. Thank you and bless our husbands!
 
mnmom said:
Hi everyone,

I was curious to know what occupations the wives on this forum have whether they are stay at home moms or whether they work outside the home. (I wish I was a stay at home mom so I envy those of you who are) Also what occupations your husbands have. Most on this thread seem well educated and I was curious as to how many if any of you are similar to me. I am a secretary with an associate degree and my husband is a high school graduate and disabled (tractor accident) but does help his brother on the farm with whatever he is capable of doing. Our financial situation is tight and sometimes that adds to the conflict at our house. We both grew up on the family farms and so I knew what I was getting into when I married a farmer but it is hard. Thanks for listening.
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I’m not a wife, but I’m a woman who is an accountant (CPA).
 
Jules11 and Dmanning

You and your husbands are in my prayers. I too have some days when I dread getting up in the morning to have it all start again and yes God does keep us going. I will add your prayers along with mine for my husband. Hang in there fellow Monica’s!
 
mnmom said:
Hi everyone,

I was curious to know what occupations the wives on this forum have whether they are stay at home moms or whether they work outside the home. (I wish I was a stay at home mom so I envy those of you who are) Also what occupations your husbands have. Most on this thread seem well educated and I was curious as to how many if any of you are similar to me. I am a secretary with an associate degree and my husband is a high school graduate and disabled (tractor accident) but does help his brother on the farm with whatever he is capable of doing. Our financial situation is tight and sometimes that adds to the conflict at our house. We both grew up on the family farms and so I knew what I was getting into when I married a farmer but it is hard. Thanks for listening.
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I’m a SAHM after having spent some time on Active Duty (Army). Yes, I have a BS-Biology and my husband has a BA. He’s currently Active Duty and in Iraq.

I will pray for you and your family. God always seems to provide RIGHT smack when you need it, and it’s always just enough to make it. I often worry myself to the point of being sick as to how I’m going to get things paid in certain months but when I look back, I see how God pulled us through.

Jules11… I will pray the Divine Mercy chaplet for you today. I am so sorry things are getting worse. I know sometimes you have to go through the pain before you start to heal, so maybe this is that time?

Some positive news though! My DH is still pursuing coming into the Church. So hopefully when he returns from Iraq, he’ll have finished his studies and he’ll be joining on the same day our 1st DD makes her First Holy Communion. 😃
 
Sweet Sisters,

I am so sorry to hear about the difficulties you’ve endured this week/month. Often we are being attacked just when things seem to be getting better, that’s the enemies’ last punch.

Each day you get up picture yourself as David facing Goliath. “You come at me with sword and spear and javeline” said David, “but I come to you in the name of the Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel.” Try it really. You might feel a little silly, but I have said it in the car when I just wanted to rant and rave about this or that when I see my husband. It made me feel soooo much more in control to be able to battle and withstand the crud I was feeling. So you are getting up and facing the world as David faced Goliath and the odds were not in his favor either.

We did do the fast too, which the enemy will attempt to counter also. Not to give the enemy too much credit, but his absolute desire is to destroy us, separate families, and pull us away from God. Strong in prayer, I was glad to know so many of us pray so often for each other.

I think MNMOM asked abt our employment status. I am an engr and am self employed and work from my office downtown two days and from home the other three. I’ve had little R with me all of the time until she turned one and can now go to Mother’s Day Out…those are my office days downtown. I have been so blessed to be able to have her with me and work, but I didn’t want it to be this way. I’d hoped that I could get without working hardly at all this first year. My husband didn’t pay taxes for six yrs before we were married…we owe a ton. Paying it regularly but it is an albatross!! :crying: Hence I feel the absolute need to contribute to keep in focus that it is ‘we’ now and his problems are my problems.

Please pray for his heart to be softened to accept another baby. I would so love another but he’s said no. He won’t even discuss. I just hope God’s will is done whatever happens mainly.
 
I’m sorry to hear that things have gotten much worse for some of our members.

I did participate in the fast last week. I went to Mass at noon. The Eucharist felt more nourishing. I’m not sure if it was my imagination.

I’m sorry to say that my DH did not repeat going to Mass with us. When we got home from Mass - when all of us went. He was in a terrible mood. When I asked him the next week if he was going - he looked at me as if I had asked him a ridiculous question.

My kids ( 6 and 8) are in RCIA. My son made the sign of the cross at dinner - and my husband grunted when he did it - twice. My son asked him why and he didn’t answer. My husband’s actions seemed very disrespectful to me. It made me very angry and upset - even though I didn’t show it at the table. I didn’t want my son picking up on that.

Last week at RCIA they learned about Jesus carrying the cross - and the term “my cross to bare”. This is definitely me cross. No one forced me to marry him.

I’m keeping all in my thoughts and prayers.

PS. I forgot to say I’m an engineer - working part time. I’m also in direct sales.
 
Sisters whew, I am here to testify to the power of prayer. My own husband has been a diff man since he came home. We had such a better time and I can see God’s work in both him and myself. He left today for a short job and we just both left in such a better mood this morning and he always loves it when I bless him before he leaves. He’s a good man and I just need to keep in my mind how long it takes us with stiff-necks to turn toward Him b/c he is always calling us. But changing just how you view life takes a long time. He came with us to mass both Sunday’s he’s been home and openly makes the sign of the cross at the table when we say grace also.

Think I’ve been bearing down too hard and had to let up some. That plus pray b/c as I’ve said before I’ve had to be guided as well as he to bring us closer in unity.

I hope this finds everyone getting ready for a restful weekend.
 
I love that this thread exists! I’m a convert of 2 years as well, and my husband is not Catholic. He’s Christian, but he does’t claim any denomination. He does go to Mass with me about twice a month. I look forward to reading your posts!
 
May I ad an ex-husband to the list? We both fell away from the church during our relationship. While the divorce actually brought me back to the church (it’s still a mystery to me but it seemed miraculous!), he’s still winging it on his own. And while I have to admit he’s my least favorite person right now, I hate to think that he would spend the rest of his life without letting Christ in.

thanks,
c
 
mnmom said:
Hi everyone,

I was curious to know what occupations the wives on this forum have whether they are stay at home moms or whether they work outside the home. (I wish I was a stay at home mom so I envy those of you who are) Also what occupations your husbands have. Most on this thread seem well educated and I was curious as to how many if any of you are similar to me. I am a secretary with an associate degree and my husband is a high school graduate and disabled (tractor accident) but does help his brother on the farm with whatever he is capable of doing. Our financial situation is tight and sometimes that adds to the conflict at our house. We both grew up on the family farms and so I knew what I was getting into when I married a farmer but it is hard. Thanks for listening.
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I’m also a secretary, part time, and I have an associates degree. I’m working towards my BA. I like being able to take care of the housework and cook dinners and all of that. My husband is in the Navy.
 
I’ve been following this thread, and I hope you don’t mind if a guy might make a simple suggestion.

First, all of you who are struggling have my prayers! How good it is that you love your husbands so much and desire them to come home to Our Lord.

I’ve been in the reverse situation as I am the one who came into the Church followed by my wife, and some of my children. We’re praying that the rest do as well.

Just a simple thought that may be of help, in addition to the prayers and example you are providing for your husbands. Get to know some of the women in your parish who are in good marriages with strong and involved Catholic husbands. Make friends. Let them know the desires of your hearts relative to your husbands. Get together as couples. Sometimes men think they don’t need all that spiritual and devotional “stuff”…that its for women. How wrong they are. If you can associate with couples that include strong Catholic husbands, that your husbands might be able to relate to as men…they’ll see an example of what a Catholic husband can be (that they may have never seen before)…and might be able to relate in ways that they find difficult relating to with women. Just a thought. May God bless your faithfulness and perseverance!
 
Bless you for your thoughtfulness, because I am often looking for add’l insight and would like some from a male perspective. However, my husband is pretty keen to me in that regard. He’ll tell me I’m not going to be like so and so…so don’t push me, that’s just not me. And while it may not be “him” right now, it could be the “him” God has made him to be. We have two neighbors one that goes to our parish…he’ll hardly talk to…he says hello but goes off to tend to his projects b/c that is his nature…while I host the conversation for both couples. He’s not had a father in his life and hasn’t had good role models for how husbands should even be husbands so I am actually pretty blessed he does so well on his own. So I think he’s had a lifetime of not feeling good enough and doesn’t want me to measure him with other men…so I try not to. He does like Rs godfather a great deal, work peer of mine and good Catholic guy. I know in his mind though that is a far cry from where he is…so I am in constant faith and hope that God knows what he knows. There is reason, just can’t know it for myself I guess.

It will take God to put that man into his path, and make that appt so to speak. You are right to remind me of that, so that I (as well as others) can pray for that godly man to enter into our husbands life to draw him in. You are right models help…but you have to find worthiness in the model first before you’d seek to follow, no?

I do love him and thanks for keeping us in your prayers from time to time. I will pray for a godly man to team up with him. That’s what he needs.
 
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