It seems we are struggling with similar situations. My husband is also in a very dark place. For brief moments during the day he “seems” okay but in the evenings when he comes home, he is very distant and, as always, separating himself from us by staying in the bedroom all the time.
He didn’t go in to work until late in the afternoon on Wednesday, and refused to tell me why. The night before he drank heavily and was likely hung over, but said it was something going on at work but refused to talk about it. I confronted him about the drinking again, something I haven’t done for quite a while now. I suggested he reconsider his thinking on whether or not he needs to go to treatment to get it under control since he seems to “need” it every night. He didn’t say anything but I think it made him mad and he got up and got ready and went in to work for the rest of the day.
I too feel so lonely and separated. I miss the companionship and the care he had for me prior to this perilous spiral into an abyss he can’t seem to pull himself out of. I feel thrust into a dark place myself. One that is devoid of the love of my life and I am so angry and sad and hurt and betrayed. Some days it’s all I can do to pray, but I know I need to, have to so I do.
So I ask you all to continue to pray for me as I pray for you as well.
Lamb, my heart goes out to you, and your husband. It sounds like he is suffering at work, and feeling so alone in this world. I have witnessed the same situation with my dh, but without him telling me what had happened until long after. It seems that because of one co-worker’s resentment towards my dh, after a difficulty they banged heads in regards to, this co-worker gathered an “army” and many turned on my dh for quite a while before it was resolved. I can only imagine the pain it must have caused him, as he had isolated us at home, and now faced that same isolation at work. He did not tell me for almost a month, and throughout that long period, he suffered alone in his agony. It seems their downward spiral can take them so deep into despair they don’t see any way out - and in my dh’s case, don’t believe they deserve a way out.
I am praying for you Debbie, may God be with you as you go through this dark and difficult time.
Prayer of St. Francis of Assissi
Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace, that
Where there is hatred, I may bring love;
Where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
Where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
Where there is error, I may bring truth;
Where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
Where there is despair, I may bring hope;
Where there are shadows, I may bring light;
Where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
To understand than to be understood
To love than to be loved;
For it is by forgetting self that one finds;
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven;
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen
:hug3:
) – it’s only part of the Conversation, but I hope it’ll be something that, at the right time, various husbands might see (if left laying around or something…