St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

[Rammy]

After some outrageous actions by his wife, my son has sorrowfully decided he must file for divorce. I truly don’t know what is the matter with her, but there seems no alternative. It is the end of his dream of a family all together, sharing life. It will be hardest on the children, esp. since a significant number of counselors, etc. seem to automatically believe the absolute worst of any man. All he has done is try to be the best husband and father he could. No one can understand her behavior, or why she is acting this way.

Very important note here…If it must be, and there might be issues of her blameing him for things, request he file first and list his reasons for care in visitation. This leaves her in a situation of not fleeing, but having to answer to HIS aligations.

In my divorce, it was the other way around. We fled, and ran from beatings, etc. BUT HE filed, he expressed i was keeping my son from him, and i never ever got a footing in the 7 years it took to get my divorce.

File, and list reasons, and then SHE has to prove otherwise. Scarry, but it is the way the courst rule. Presedence is everything. If you spend certain time with them now, and do want to keep a normalcy in their lives, then say so. Never come on the side of attacking the mother, and always side on what is best for the children…it goes a long long way. Respect of the courst are what clearly is needed. It then becomes the voice of REASON.

IMHO

Praying for him…kids come first here.

Lana

 

[Diana_Lynn]

Hi, everyone. I have been married for 13 years. … When I returned at 25, I stopped all of the abuses of my gift of sexuality behind, which angered my husband. His anger led him to adultery, and broke my heart. Still, I realized that marriage is meant to be a love given unconditionally, so we worked through it. …
Although my husband remains unconverted, I have seen awesome changes in his ability to love and to give of himself… I realize that I need to let God do the work and stop trying to force things. … All I can do is pray for him, and pray that I be given the grace to love him so completely and perfectly that he sees Christ in me.

Welcome Brandy! You and your husband are in my prayers.

His pride would not let him. Pride is the deadliest of the seven deadly sins, from it springs most all other forms of sin. It was pride that led satan to fall from God’s grace. Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

Occasionally I like to pray the Litany of Humility to sort of put me in my place…

Thanks for sharing the Litiny of Humility, BeeSweet!, Will keep this prayer close at hand. I can always use a healthy dose of humility! Keeping you in my prayers.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

I’m doing OK I guess. Each day it gets harder and harder to leave my little one and go to work, even though I’ve been doing it for a long time… I’m praying DH can find a great job with benefits because we think we figured out a plan that will enable me to stay home!! Plus, I can tell he’s down about not providing for our family – it’s just a tough job market right now, especially where we live. You would think someone with a college degree wouldn’t have a problem, but that’s not the case.

Some happy news: I have a brand-new niece! She was born yesterday – DH’s brother’s baby. We’re going to visit after work!! :extrahappy:

Hope you’re having a good day and I’m praying for you too (well, for all of you)! :grouphug:

[SIGN]Congratulations![/SIGN]:extrahappy: :dancing:
A new baby is a sure-fire way to brighten up any day is it not? I am praying for you and your husband Belle, may your plan enabling you to stay at home become a reality with the grace of God!

 

[Diana_Lynn]

Friends,
I am a bit down today and don’t know why–thought I would share.
…

I’ve been feeling a bit blue, myself, and for no particular reason that I can figure out. Maybe it’s just in the air.

I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling down eli and brandy… I myself have actually had a few tough days, as well. Too early to be menstrual, plenty of sunshine, so I don’t understand either. I cried while praying in church Sunday (although not too uncommon, am I the only one that happens to? It feels like it, as I try to wipe my tears before sitting back up… ) I cried over some trivial things at work Sunday night, and then again yesterday while praying (in my car, on the way home from work…) I get like that occasionally, and usually dismiss it as hormonal, pms, or just the fact that I have a tendency to be such a “sap”… Praying we all have brighter days ahead!

 

[Diana_Lynn]

After some outrageous actions by his wife, my son has sorrowfully decided he must file for divorce. I truly don’t know what is the matter with her, but there seems no alternative. It is the end of his dream of a family all together, sharing life. It will be hardest on the children, esp. since a significant number of counselors, etc. seem to automatically believe the absolute worst of any man. All he has done is try to be the best husband and father he could. No one can understand her behavior, or why she is acting this way.

I’m so sorry for you and your son, Katy, and also his children. If it is this difficult on you two as adults, it must be very hard on these children, losing the companionship of their Daddy. Praying for you all!

Lord, watch over this little family as they endure this difficult time. Come to their aid, and comfort the little ones when they miss their Daddy so. Pour out your healing grace on the hearts of all, that they may find peaceful resolution, and forgiveness for all trespasses. Be it your Will, Father, grant that divorce may be avoided, that this wife finds the love in heart she felt for her husband when they stood together in your presence and vowed to be as one through all, until death. Bless this family Lord, with patience and faith in your name, that they may work through this difficulty and become stronger in their love for all they have endured.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

Lost track of the Saint Joseph Novena… starting over. Day 1:

Novena to Saint Joseph for all sick husbands to find help.

O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for:

the conversion of my husband and the strong faith of my children, the conversion of all sinners in my family and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.
Amen.

Lord, I commend all husbands and wives
represented in this thread to you this day,
That you would raise us up to be men and women after your own heart.
That you would cause us to grow in wisdom and in knowledge of you
and that these husbands become holy and spiritual heads of these homes,
and that these wives become and remain vessels that shine your light continuously.
Keep us all obedient to your will and humble in mind and action.
Amen.**

 

[BeeSweet]

Novena to Saint Joseph for all sick husbands to find help.

Day 4

O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

 

[Belle10]

Friends,
I am a bit down today and don’t know why–thought I would share.
Also, May is a special month for Mother Mary–any suggestions on what I can do to honor her?

Have a great day.

---

Hey eli, sorry you were having a down day. :hug1: Keeping you, and everyone here, in prayer.

As far as honoring Mary, perhaps you could pray the Rosary on a regular basis (if you don’t already). Or perhaps you could pray a novena to her – I’m sure there are lots of nice ones at ewtn.com.

[SIGN]Congratulations![/SIGN]:extrahappy: :dancing:
A new baby is a sure-fire way to brighten up any day is it not? I am praying for you and your husband Belle, may your plan enabling you to stay at home become a reality with the grace of God!

Yes, and I met my niece last night! Oh, I definitely have baby-fever…
Thank you for your prayers, they mean so much. :hug1:

 

[Belle10]

Novena day 2:

PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for:

the conversion of my husband, the strong Catholic faith of our daughter,
the perpetual sobriety of my father and the renewal of my parents’ marriage,
and for all the marriages and families represented in this thread

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.
Amen.

Lord, I commend all husbands and wives
represented in this thread to you this day,
That you would raise us up to be men and
women after your own heart.
That you would cause us to grow in wisdom and
in knowledge of you and that these husbands
become holy and spiritual heads of these homes,
and that these wives become and remain vessels
that shine your light continuously.
Keep us all obedient to your will and humble
in mind and action.
Amen.

 

[BeeSweet]

**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

the conversion of my husband, healing and salvation of our marriage, and the strong faith of our son, the conversion of all sinners in our families and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,**

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!

 

[katy]

Thanks for your prayers for my son’s situation. Thank you, Rammy, for your suggestions. I believe this is the course he intends to follow, and I will pass on what you said. He is broken-hearted, but feels he must do this for the children’s sake even tho he may not get custody. He hopes to get full custody, since the mother’s behavior is so bizarre, but knows that the mom usually gets the major custody. He is hoping to at least be able to give a stable place for them when they are with him, even if he does not have them most of the time.

 

[Rammy]

Thanks for your prayers for my son’s situation. Thank you, Rammy, for your suggestions. I believe this is the course he intends to follow, and I will pass on what you said. He is broken-hearted, but feels he must do this for the children’s sake even tho he may not get custody. He hopes to get full custody, since the mother’s behavior is so bizarre, but knows that the mom usually gets the major custody. He is hoping to at least be able to give a stable place for them when they are with him, even if he does not have them most of the time.

No problemmo…Remember, first one fileing usually is the plee. The responder has to come up with the proof. For example, my husband was a pedofile, but when i left, he filed and tried to prove me unfit. He was seen as the protector of my son. I was the one having to prove i was stable.

This could work for your son. File, list reasons for full custody. This leaves room for JOINT custody. This will kill a controle freak cause then she can not make a move without informing him. and vise versa. With full custody, there are not equal rights given.

If he files her irrational behaviour, and him not wanting to seperate, review his moral issues, and concerns for his child not getting a balanced upbringing in the faith. Then SHE has to prove she is not unfit, or bazar…it is not assumed, she has to prove you wrong.

Then he has the upper hand! I believe in good parenting, either man woman or preferably both. This child needs him to step up to the plate now if she is not stable.

Lana

 

[JCLA]

I’m doing OK I guess. Each day it gets harder and harder to leave my little one and go to work, even though I’ve been doing it for a long time… I’m praying DH can find a great job with benefits because we think we figured out a plan that will enable me to stay home!! Plus, I can tell he’s down about not providing for our family – it’s just a tough job market right now, especially where we live. You would think someone with a college degree wouldn’t have a problem, but that’s not the case.

Some happy news: I have a brand-new niece! She was born yesterday – DH’s brother’s baby. We’re going to visit after work!! :extrahappy:

Hope you’re having a good day and I’m praying for you too (well, for all of you)! :grouphug:

CONGRATULATIONS on the new neice!!:extrahappy: I know what you mean about baby fever, I already have it and my baby is only two months old.

I’m sorry about your and your dh’s job situation. I will continue to pray that you can be a SAHM soon.

Nikki

 

[JCLA]

After some outrageous actions by his wife, my son has sorrowfully decided he must file for divorce. I truly don’t know what is the matter with her, but there seems no alternative. It is the end of his dream of a family all together, sharing life. It will be hardest on the children, esp. since a significant number of counselors, etc. seem to automatically believe the absolute worst of any man. All he has done is try to be the best husband and father he could. No one can understand her behavior, or why she is acting this way.

Katy,

I am so sorry. I will pray for your son and his children.

Nikki

 

[JCLA]

Hi Ladies,

Novena day 7 for me today.

Lana, I am glad to hear things are a little better. I pray that this will be a long lasting conversion of heart for your husband.

How is everyone else doing today?

Nikki

 

[Belle10]

CONGRATULATIONS on the new neice!!:extrahappy: I know what you mean about baby fever, I already have it and my baby is only two months old.

I’m sorry about your and your dh’s job situation. I will continue to pray that you can be a SAHM soon.

Nikki

I’m pretty :crying: today, and lately. I know I have so many blessings and I should be happy – it seems it’s easier to focus on what’s wrong, you know?

Thank you so much for your prayers. :hug1: Congrats on your little one! How wonderful!! :extrahappy:

 

[Rammy]

Hi Ladies,

Novena day 7 for me today.

Lana, I am glad to hear things are a little better. I pray that this will be a long lasting conversion of heart for your husband.

How is everyone else doing today?

Nikki

Pretty good. My husband called me from the highway today…needed a ride, but insisted we go for lunch.

I wanted to see if his I. D. matched…lol

Last night when i went out, there was a melt down with the kids.
I fear he simply does not know what to do when they do not respond to a “do it now” situation. You see, they glazed over, and knew they had to shower, do teeth, hair, and fresh jammies with snack to follow, prayers and then be tucked in.

He does not see this, and simply allows them up till bed time, then says go to bed. Wee…Insert oldest’s little huff…well daddy, i’m dirty, and need to get ready for bed yet, why didn’t you tell me earlier?

It was met with a pause, and then he yelled, “i said go to bed.”

Amber, the oldest placed her hands on her hips, “well, i can see you don’t know how to be a mother very well, cause it is a mothers job to see that we have all this stuff done.”

Pause once a gain, “didn’t you hear me, i said go to bed”

Amber then again said, “hmmmm, mommy would not aprove!”

Rob then got his pillow, and went in the cold basement to escape them…he was so frustrated. But he does not see anything but that they are not listening. They gave good reason, and were trying to teach him…he’s gotta bit more to grow…ok, TONS.

Counting my blessings…he volunteered to come home so i could meet a CAF friend for a chat and dinner…to him that’s just god stuff i do.

Lana

I can not believe the acumulate pain in our lives we see here, and i do pray for the best God can place before us. If he can not change the situation, i beg, to allow the gift to ENDURE what is before us. Enduring it with faith is hard to do…extremely.

Lana again.

 

[eli1118]

Friends,
Thanks so much for all the wonderful support and prayers. Today was another blue day==I feel lots better after I get off of work and am with my son and family. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Belle 10,
thanks for the hug and suggestion for mother mary. Congratulations on your niece–what a blessing!!!:extrahappy:

 

[Lamb_Serenade]

I’m hesitant to make this post. Call it superstition, but there isn’t room for superstition when we are praying is there? I’m hesitant as well to call it answered prayers because it is still so young and could be a ruse or placating to please what he perceives as my needs and not what actually needs to be done.

The last three days have been, well, normal…

I have my husband who is acting like a husband. Kissing his wife. Grabbing his wife (in a good way). Telling his wife he loves her. Having conversations with his wife. Spending MORE time with his wife and DD. Planning??? vacation, weekends, camping for the summer. I keep pinching myself wondering if I’m hallucinating or if it’s real !

He even called home tonight (he’s out of town for work) to let me know he made it safely, had a good dinner and to tell me he loves me :blushing: and what time he’ll be home tomorrow. I feel positively giddy! Like a school girl!

It has been three months of sleeping in separate rooms. Three months of him drinking and “hiding” it in our bedroom (like I didn’t know…sheesh!). Three months of denial. Three months of ignoring and avoiding me.

The last three days have been sober days. One day at a time right? The last three days he has been exercising. The last three days he has been eating good, healthy food (except for the fried chicken I bought last night…oops!). He has spent three days of making the effort to win me back.

I am feeling a sense of relief, a stronger sense of hope, and along with that a sense of apprehension. After all, I let my guard down before and I ended up with three months of hell.

It just occurred to me this post is full of threes. I’m having a strong feeling of the Trinity involved in this, so I can see it is prayers answered. I need to offer thanksgiving and praise for this! However short or infrequent. Whether temporary or forever I am thankful for these past three days and continue to pray that three days turns into three more days, then three weeks then three months and so on.

DH is in the middle of some remodeling on our bedroom, and my hope/plan is this will be real and I can move back to our marriage bed when he is done with the remodeling. I’m not going to just blindly say “Oh he’s cured!” and move back straight away. He has some proving to do to convince me this is in fact real. God PLEASE let it be real! I need my husband back!

I am going to begin another Novena to St. Monica for continued progress, for wisdom, perseverance, patience for me and continued sobriety, compassion and wisdom for my DH, the cop, Roy. I will also continue my Lenten sacrifice of a strict fast on Fridays, and I’m going to add Wednesdays as well.