St. Monica pray for us! Praying for our husbands....

[Rammy]

Thank you girls for the prayers. Rob knows how dredfull the spitting would turn me. I used to be tied up for my husband to watch as others he filed into the room raped me, then when they were done, he’d spit on me, and spit on me…

When Rob spit on me telling me i was no good, a uselss fat piece of sh** and he was not going to keep me anylonger. I lost it. What is with the degrigation. If ya want out, then go, why stick around making others miserable for so long. Be honest.

There is nothing i dispise more than a liar, or cheating. Tell me the truth, i can not force someone to love me, nor can i teach them to. And this had been felt for so many years. But drinking, he is a time bomb, hateful, but he is honest…he simply hates me and everything i stand to him.

so be it, get over it, and move on Rob…that’s how i feel. This one sided life is killing me. Especially when he tries to convince me all the time, theres nothing wrong, he’s happy, but he knows i’m not.

I almost felt elation, at the end of my rage…“YES, then go, if we do not make you happy, then stop tortureing us pretending you care, and then we end up short in the caring business from you.”

I am convinced he spoke the truth this evening…he wants out. has not been willing to try for at least a good 8 years now, and i have been trying to keep it together. A one sided. Of course there is always two sides, but in my endeavor, i have tried meeting him half way, and then he wants half of the half…and then half of that, and so on untill there is nothing left to give or barter with.

You can not negotiate with nothing…i am very spent…tired.

I do not believe in walking away…but this has got to stop!

Lana

 

[Diana_Lynn]

Please pray for my family, and for my temper.
I am loosing everything it seems…when life is like this
I ache so terribly for Will…he was true blue…the ideal person of my dreams…yet my kid. We grew together, and compromised together, and life was sweet…

How do i salvage this, now it is just me and my two girls!Oh God, this means welfare…wonderful! Well at least we will have the same amount of food…not much!

I simply can’t go that route again…i want more for my children.

Lana

Praying for you Lana.

Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day, our Daily Bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us,
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Dearest Lana,
you seem so angry, so hurt and in turmoil. You need to see someone to help you. You need to unravel your life, the terrible injustices done to you. You do not want to pass this onto your children.
Please, no matter how angry someone makes you, no matter how much they hurt you, do not retaliate. It just brings you down to their level, makes you feel worse and is not what Jesus wants us to do.
I know you are hurting, please try to stay calm and trust in Jesus. He will never let you down, He will lift you out of the pit and comfort you. Keep saying, ‘Jesus I trust in You’ over and over. and before long, you will truly feel yourself letting go of control and giving it to Him.
I don’t think you have ever healed from your terrible ordeal many years ago. You need to heal and forgive. Do not carry around such anger, it will eat you away.
Lana, find a good priest and go to confession. It does wonders for your peace of mind.
Praying for you.

Father, your child is hurt and angry after so much suffering. Please come to her now, in her darkness and her pain. Comfort her now in the aftermath of this terrible night. With your most tender love and mercy, warm the hearts of both her and her husband Father, replacing their anger with your sweet love, their bitter resentment with your merciful forgiveness, and their pain with the peacefulness that comes of knowing and loving you.
Watch over their children also Lord, and protect them from all harm. May they always feel the protection of your loving arms surrounding them, sheilding them from anger and hostility. Grant them strength and courage Lord, as they look to start over, moving on from this hostility. Walk with them Lord, guiding them in all that they do, for walking hand in hand with you Lord, they cannot fail!

Prayer of St. Francis of Assissi

Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace, that
Where there is hatred, I may bring love;
Where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
Where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
Where there is error, I may bring truth;
Where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
Where there is despair, I may bring hope;
Where there are shadows, I may bring light;
Where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
To understand than to be understood
To love than to be loved;
For it is by forgetting self that one finds;
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven;
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen

 

[Diana_Lynn]

*PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for:

the conversion of my husband and the strong faith of my children, the conversion of all sinners in my family and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.
Amen.

Lord, I commend all husbands and wives
represented in this thread to you this day,
That you would raise us up to be men and women after your own heart.
That you would cause us to grow in wisdom and in knowledge of you
and that these husbands become holy and spiritual heads of these homes,
and that these wives become and remain vessels that shine your light continuously.
Keep us all obedient to your will and humble in mind and action.
Amen.

Prayer of St. Francis of Assissi

Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace, that
Where there is hatred, I may bring love;
Where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
Where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
Where there is error, I may bring truth;
Where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
Where there is despair, I may bring hope;
Where there are shadows, I may bring light;
Where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
To understand than to be understood
To love than to be loved;
For it is by forgetting self that one finds;
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven;
It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.
Amen*

 

[BeeSweet]

I do not believe in walking away…but this has got to stop!

Lana

Doesn’t sound to me like you’re walking away Lana, it sounds like you’re finally standing your ground. He needs help. He’s sick and incapable of controlling himself. He must get help. I’ll start a novena specifically for this intention. It may not be your marriage that needs saving, it is probably his life that needs saving. And you can’t help him by letting his disease go on unhindered in your own home. It’s almost like you’re supporting it. Don’t let your daughters live like this, because they will end up making the same choices. Since they’re already comfortable living with a drunk, they’ll be more likely to marry one! You have to tell them with your actions that this is not OK for anyone!

Novena to Saint Joseph for Rob and all sick husbands to find help.

O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

Say three times…

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

 

[BeeSweet]

**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

the conversion of my husband, healing and salvation of our marriage, and the strong faith of our son, the conversion of all sinners in our families and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,**

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!

 

[mom4truth]

BeeSweet:

Seems like prudent advice…

 

[eli1118]

Novena day 1

Belle,
Glad to hear you are better. I understand about being down in the dumps–I have those days too.
Hope your trip went well.

Friends,
Could you please pray for my brother in law who is having some very serious back problems. I would really appreicate it.
thanks in advance

 

[mom4truth]

elli:

I will pray for your brother!

 

[Rammy]

Guys, just an addition…we have always apeared in limbo to others, as i have not allowed drinking at home…he just does not come home then and goes elsewhere to drink, then arrives, and i have to put him out. But they see, i will not allow this.

As for the prayers, something happened, as i went over to the farm and talked to him, explaining how i wanted him to do the right thing, end it if he was not happy, but not to prolong this if we were not going to come to some form of negotiation on this.

My little one was in the car watching a movie as i did this…he believed it all to be a lie, and did not remember much, and doubted he was even home. Then near the end, Shawntal, my little one of 8 confronted him on the 24 of beer there. He thought he’d be tricky, and ask her who said to say this. She clearly smirked, um, no one daddy. Your the no man, and this stupid stuff makes you mean and dumb. you say mean things, and make everybody cry…you are a very big bully daddy.

He said he’d stop, and she called him on it, “then put it in the car…prove it to me…mamma will give it to her friend Anna…she does not drink Beer unless she can’t poop. So she can use it to poop good”

I was a bundle of chuckles trying to keep a straight face. He closed it and took it out to the car…he has never done this before. A Dutch man wasting something he paid for…

She got to him, she was plainly telling her truth…and it hit him.

Much more happened, but it is so late, just wanted to say the consenses. I am afraid to hope, but he gave me most of what i was asking for tonight…Shawntal was at the right place, at the right time, and helped him see the truth.

Thank you for your prayers!

Lana

I am also praying for all in this thread…what lovelies you are.

BTW, it felt good to take a stand yesterday with him…not the fight part, but the truth part.

 

[BeeSweet]

Guys, just an addition…we have always apeared in limbo to others, as i have not allowed drinking at home…he just does not come home then and goes elsewhere to drink, then arrives, and i have to put him out. But they see, i will not allow this.

As for the prayers, something happened, as i went over to the farm and talked to him, explaining how i wanted him to do the right thing, end it if he was not happy, but not to prolong this if we were not going to come to some form of negotiation on this.

My little one was in the car watching a movie as i did this…he believed it all to be a lie, and did not remember much, and doubted he was even home. Then near the end, Shawntal, my little one of 8 confronted him on the 24 of beer there. He thought he’d be tricky, and ask her who said to say this. She clearly smirked, um, no one daddy. Your the no man, and this stupid stuff makes you mean and dumb. you say mean things, and make everybody cry…you are a very big bully daddy.

He said he’d stop, and she called him on it, “then put it in the car…prove it to me…mamma will give it to her friend Anna…she does not drink Beer unless she can’t poop. So she can use it to poop good”

I was a bundle of chuckles trying to keep a straight face. He closed it and took it out to the car…he has never done this before. A Dutch man wasting something he paid for…

She got to him, she was plainly telling her truth…and it hit him.

Much more happened, but it is so late, just wanted to say the consenses. I am afraid to hope, but he gave me most of what i was asking for tonight…Shawntal was at the right place, at the right time, and helped him see the truth.

Thank you for your prayers!

Lana

I am also praying for all in this thread…what lovelies you are.

BTW, it felt good to take a stand yesterday with him…not the fight part, but the truth part.

That’s beautiful Lana! OK, well the poop part wasn’t beautiful but it was really really cute! God blessed you both with that little girl. I hope he’s on the beginning of a path to the straight and narrow, and doesn’t look back.

 

[BeeSweet]

Novena to Saint Joseph for all sick husbands to find help.

Day 2

O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

 

[Diana_Lynn]

Doesn’t sound to me like you’re walking away Lana, it sounds like you’re finally standing your ground. He needs help. He’s sick and incapable of controlling himself. He must get help. I’ll start a novena specifically for this intention. It may not be your marriage that needs saving, it is probably his life that needs saving. And you can’t help him by letting his disease go on unhindered in your own home. It’s almost like you’re supporting it. Don’t let your daughters live like this, because they will end up making the same choices. Since they’re already comfortable living with a drunk, they’ll be more likely to marry one! You have to tell them with your actions that this is not OK for anyone!

Novena to Saint Joseph for Rob and all sick husbands to find help.

O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

**O glorious St. Joseph,
friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
thou whose power renders impossible things possible,
come to our aid in our present trouble and distress.
Take these important and difficult affairs
which we recommend to your protection,
that they may end happily.

O dear St. Joseph,
all our confidence is in you.
Let it not be said that we have invoked you in vain,
and since you are so powerful with Jesus and Mary,
show that your goodness equals power.

Amen.

Say three times…

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid.

St. Joseph, friend of the Sacred Heart of Jesus,
pray for us and for all who invoke your aid**

 

[BeeSweet]

**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for

the conversion of my husband, healing and salvation of our marriage, and the strong faith of our son, the conversion of all sinners in our families and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,**

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.

Amen.

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.
Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death.

Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!
Jesus, I trust in You!

 

[Diana_Lynn]

…

Friends,
Could you please pray for my brother in law who is having some very serious back problems. I would really appreicate it.
thanks in advance

Praying for your brother-in-law, eli! May God be with him, with all his healing grace!

 

[Diana_Lynn]

…As for the prayers, something happened, as i went over to the farm and talked to him, explaining how i wanted him to do the right thing, end it if he was not happy, but not to prolong this if we were not going to come to some form of negotiation on this.

My little one was in the car watching a movie as i did this…he believed it all to be a lie, and did not remember much, and doubted he was even home. Then near the end, Shawntal, my little one of 8 confronted him on the 24 of beer there. He thought he’d be tricky, and ask her who said to say this. She clearly smirked, um, no one daddy. Your the no man, and this stupid stuff makes you mean and dumb. you say mean things, and make everybody cry…you are a very big bully daddy.

He said he’d stop, and she called him on it, “then put it in the car…prove it to me…mamma will give it to her friend Anna…she does not drink Beer unless she can’t poop. So she can use it to poop good”

I was a bundle of chuckles trying to keep a straight face. He closed it and took it out to the car…he has never done this before. A Dutch man wasting something he paid for…

She got to him, she was plainly telling her truth…and it hit him.

Much more happened, but it is so late, just wanted to say the consenses. I am afraid to hope, but he gave me most of what i was asking for tonight…Shawntal was at the right place, at the right time, and helped him see the truth.

Thank you for your prayers!

Lana

I am also praying for all in this thread…what lovelies you are.

BTW, it felt good to take a stand yesterday with him…not the fight part, but the truth part.

The truth brings such blessings with it, doesn’t it Lana? It sounds like God was working his beautiful and divine will through his precious child! May he continue to be with you all, working diligently to reclaim your husband, and guide him back home! God be with you Lana!

 

[Diana_Lynn]

**PRAYER TO ST. MONICA

Dear St. Monica,
troubled wife and mother,
many sorrows pierced your heart during your lifetime.
Yet, you never despaired or lost faith.
With confidence, persistence, and profound faith,
you prayed daily for the conversion
of your beloved husband, Patricius,
and your beloved son, Augustine;
your prayers were answered.
Grant me that same fortitude, patience,
and trust in the Lord.
Intercede for me, dear St. Monica,
that God may favorably hear my plea for:

the conversion of my husband and the strong faith of my children, the conversion of all sinners in my family and of the spouses being prayed for here by CAF members,

and grant me the grace to accept His Will in all things,
through Jesus Christ, our Lord,
in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, forever and ever.
Amen.

Lord, I commend all husbands and wives
represented in this thread to you this day,
That you would raise us up to be men and women after your own heart.
That you would cause us to grow in wisdom and in knowledge of you
and that these husbands become holy and spiritual heads of these homes,
and that these wives become and remain vessels that shine your light continuously.
Keep us all obedient to your will and humble in mind and action.
Amen.**

 

[Rammy]

Nother update…Rob has spent the entire day with the children, and all i have heard was laughter…how very very welcomed, and missed.

They are going on a bike ride now for a few hours, then out to supper…Sparky Shawny says as she passes her father with her helmet, “hmmm, and it isn’t even Christmas…no ones gonna believe THIS story, they’ll say i’m tellin tall tales!”

all i could say was, “from the mouth of Babes!” as i hid my grin.

God bless this family “army of prayer warriors” we have here!

Never let it be said for gathering your resources, and it be not be bennificial.

My heart swells for those who seen the lost lamb!

Lana

 

[katy]

Prayed for you at Mass this morning, Rammy.
And the others on this thread.
Please remember my family’s difficulties in your prayers.
It looks as tho son is going to be forced into separation or divorce by his wife’s actions.

 

[JCLA]

Hi Ladies,

Novena day 5 for me today.

Lana, I am so sorry to hear of your situation. You are always in my prayers.:console:

Eli, I will be praying for your brother in law.

Katy, I will pray for your son and his wife.

Nikki

 

[brandymmiller]

I’ve been posting on a non-Catholic answers forum this evening (regarding abortion) and a bully came along and entered what had been a civil (if somewhat misguided) conversation between a pro-choicer and myself. The bully was Pro-Life and I chastized him for the tactics of his argument.

In responding to his response, I found myself posting that as a one time stubborn youth, I know that there were times when regardless of how I may have been convinced of the intellectual merit of a position, if I’d felt attacked by the person presenting the opposing view, there was no way I’d give them the satisfaction of winning the point, even if I had to lose all intellectual integrity to maintain my position. As I was wording this response (which came immediately after submitting my first post on this thread), I realized that from my husbands perspective, he sees my having taken such a hard-line position as my being a bully.

However, I don’t know how to help him know that I love him without compromising my faith.

Actually, I do know how, but have been advised against it by my priest and by my personal counselor (whom I’ve been seeing to deal with the stress all this has created). We’re in financial staits (hubby hasn’t been working to potential for a couple of years, to a large extent because he’s angry with me and doesn’t want to divorce with the requirement to pay alimony, so he’s been way underemployed to reduce the likelihood of that happening). This is the primary reason the house is finally on the market, mere financial requirements, no longer a choice.

I could sell some stock I have that I got as an inheritance (hence it’s not community property). It wouldn’t be prudent, as he’s already announced he intends to get divorced. But he’s furious that I’ve refused to contribute financially to paying for our home. I finally did get a job in October, something he’s wanted me to do for years, even though I’ve felt it was more important that I be there to raise our daughter.

But, even if I were to sell the stock, it would only delay the inevitable, it would do nothing to ensure we could meet the ongoing expense of staying here, and it would do nothing to address his not working. It would deplete my funds which were intended to be the start of a retirement fund and which I have instead had to use for any cash I’ve wanted during the past 9 years as I’ve stayed at home with our daughter (I’ve been extremely frugal, as this was a very small amount of money to begin with and I’ve only spent down 1/2 of it).

Thoughts?

CARose

I’ve been down a similar road, and so here are my thoughts on the issue:

1. Your husband has a responsibility and an obligation to provide for you and for your child, which he is refusing to fulfill because he is angry with you.
2. You have a responsibility and an obligation to ensure that your child is provided for in the event that your husband refuses to do so, which does seem to be the case.
3. You do not have a responsibility or an obligation to provide for your husband unless your husband is incapable of doing so.
4. Your husband has presupposed that you will leave him. His anger is a shield he is using to prevent himself from the hurt he is sure will come.
5. You need to reassure him that you will love him no matter what happens and that the door will remain open whichever direction he chooses to go.
6. You need to insist that he choose between loving you and doing what is right and being angry and hurting his family.
7. You must stick to your guns.

Your husband is in a pit, as it were, of self-pity, anger, and denial. He’s drowning in it. Your best chance to help him is to climb out and put yourself on firm footing first, which you seem to be doing by seeking spiritual guidance and counseling. Only when you are on firm footing can you help him to climb out of that pit, but he must first take hold of the rope. You can’t make him, and you must make it clear that you won’t let yourself or your child go down with him. The best love is the one that helps you become a better person, not the one that satisfies itself with your worst.