This will be hard to write, as i have never spoken of this before as a request. I ask that you pray for the soul of my ex husband. What i did not know about him before we were married was that he was Gay, ran a private school for boys, and prefered the 14-16 year old children. I was 18, he 32, and i was extreemly gulable. With too many questions asked, i was the cover for lifting the worry off of parents shoulders. I did not believe everyones warnings, he was a teacher, ran a school, how lucky was i?
Needless to say, i was well tollerated on my wedding night. What was not beaten, dragged, and tortured was not a part of my body, but made to be the scars i still carry today. This went on for a few weeks, alone in the woods with a mad man. My first son was concieved there. He is my shining proof, that in the Dark, God did not leave me alone, he sent an angel to me. Good can definitely come of bad situations.
Threatened to go after my little sister six years my jur if i did not stay with him, i did, and tried to raise my son. A second pregnancy occured that i was scared to tell anyone about as i wanted out badly, but the continued beatings, rapes, and mental torture kept going on. I assumed the baby was about 24 weeks when i merely sugested i was fed up and tired. I was running the school on my own, ran the tutorial program untill 9 pm, then cleaned the school at night. I was exhausted. There was no time for me to even make an excuse to run.
Exhausted and tired of thisschedule every day i dared to say so, and was abruptly pushed down the winding staircase. I hit the wall first, and then went down the stairs. I lay there quiet trying so hard to see if the baby was moving, and it did. So i went up to my room and cried myself to sleep…how was i going to get out of this.
I woke 4 days latter to the smell of food. A usual pattern of niceness followed every beating, so i thought supper was being made for me. But the food smell eventually went away. Figuring he wanted me to come down stairs, i went to get up. Mind you, i do not know anything more than an hour has passed. There was soooo much blood in my waterbed. It was everywhere, i grabbed for my stomach and wondered, is it still moving? I waited, poked and tried to get the baby to roll over like i had so many times before. Mind this, my husband did not know i was pregnant.
I was so weak and dizzy from lac of blood i fugured out latter and screamed so pathetically…he came up stairs so angry i was taken back. He yelled at me so quietly through clenched teeth that i wrecked his plans, why didn’t i just die. He said he’d been waiting four days. I screamed 4 days, why didn’t you call an ambulence or my parents? He said he would not have won! And then he said he would never forgive me for wrecking the chance of him ever having a little girl!
He knew…OMG…how? The baby must have passed through me! I must have gone into labour, he said my temperature was a sure sign i might die, as it was high. I screamed so loud, “where is my baby?” and he laughed so full of evil…“what baby?”
A mad man took my baby, and to this day, i never found her. I went into shock i think. I was getting out, and he was not going to stop me. I was going to plan this move. 4 months latter i got out. Got emergency custody, but struggled for many years to get a divorce from him. Seven years, fleeing the provence, and much mental torture done to my son in the mean time.
My sister had since moved away, so i felt safe leaving. Eventually i was not safe half way across Canada from this man, and signed papers to get full custody. I gave up the home, school, cottage, pension plans, 47 thousand he was in arears of child support, and all of this was given up for custody Of my angel Will.
Soon after this he was found to be terminal, and his father called him and told him he did not want to be his father since he was going to die anyway. He was carrying an oxygen tank of 20 lbs…was 38 lbs, wore size 4 clothing, and was 7 1/2 years old with solid tears streaming from his face at the disbelief of his fathers words.
Then when he died, he did not go to the funeral, living 15 minutes from us, cashed in on a life insurance policy he took out on him, and took half his trust fund because my son did not have a last will and testiment. He took 40 thousand from Wills estate, never paid child support, never seen him past age 7 (died at 19) never paid for his oxygen, medical bills or anything.
With Will gone, he has not got a single thing on me anymore. But his soul is deadly in a dark dark place, especially being a pedifile, and never caught. I was never believed, nor was Will.
But yet Will prayed for him daily because he knew he could never give him love, if he was never given it himself, or taught this. He knew he was a product of severe torture himself.
Mothers day came and went, and i know Will held his sister, and prayed for his own father for putting her there!
Lana