I only just now realized the thread had been changed! I got really caught up in our finances (fired in early January, stayed afloat for 2.5 months, hired mid-March for 25% less $$ as the sole breadwinner), and haven’t been posting about DH for the most part.
Things are good, overall. DH has agreed to support me in giving a 10% financial tithe, *as well as * a 10% work-time matching tithe of time. Although he’s not entirely sure about this all - he was asking me today if we could count the time against the funds we give and keep more of the money. I said I’d rather not, since giving time and treasure both is the ideal anyways, but that I’d be open to the idea if he wanted to discuss it. He’s the man of the house, and if he takes a stand on this I’ll follow his lead . . . but if he defers to my judgement on this, I think he will be touched by how little we miss the money and how well things go. And I think he will defer to me. He may not trust God, but I think he trusts me. Despite this crazy “God thing” I have going on
I also learned about a condition called “dysthymia” recently, which is chronic mild depression that can last for decades - and when I started reading up on it, it was like reading a textbook written about DH! Every annoying behavior, every frustrating thing he does is listed as a symptom of this condition. And he has
all the symptoms except those that indicate “atypical features.” Two is sufficient for diagnosis (assuming no other conditions exist that could explain them).
DH and I have looked over the information on dysthymia and talked about it, and he agrees that it seems likely that he has this condition, and could have had it for around two decades (since his pre-teen years). It would explain so much - his poor work history, his inability to make decisions, his tendency to give up, his avoidance of responsibility and risks of failure, his willingness to be labelled as “lazy”, his irritability sometimes - even how hard it is for him to apply to jobs. Now we need to see what the medical community thinks. The condition is treatable, too, although it often takes years to fully treat. This may also be the main stumbling block for his faith right now.
Also, DH has scheduled his Network+ exam! This is a certification exam for network / lab technicians. This is really big, as it is a significant step in him returning to work. AND he is interested in becoming the sole income, and is working towards this goal and willing to talk about it - despite the fact that it looks unreachable from where we are right now. This is very impressive, since he normally writes difficult tasks off as “hopeless” and gets frustrated if he is reminded about them. Quite frankly, he’s starting to show symptoms of faith - not in God, perhaps, more in me and in life in general - but it’s a start.
Thanks, ladies, for giving me someone I can share this with who undrestands how great it is.