Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

[Susan_Calvin]

Agree 100% - I’m a “completed Jew” too, - love Bro Bob!

Oh, interesting. Nice to hear from someone else who is Jewish and also Catholic. I had heard of Edith Stein before but I didn’t realize there were so many Jews who had converted.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Now, while I’m sure those wonderful Priests and Nuns have been keeping you in their prayers all these years, (some of them may have passed on by now and already received their heavenly reward), and even though you don’t understand this right now, they are still praying for you.

Thank you for saying this. Just yesterday I was thinking this very thing, that some of them may have died by now, and I was feeling much regret and guilt at not contacting them sooner. It never occurred to me they would be looking down on me from heaven. Not sure what I believe at this point re: that but it is a comforting thought if true.

 

[allhers]

Before I comment individually on all your posts, I want to share a brief update, because I think its quite remarkable…

I’ve frequented a nearby coffee shop and take walks in a nearby park. In both the park and the coffee shop, I often see the same older man, also walking or having a coffee. After a few times of seeing each other he started saying hello to me, and we’ve had some brief general conversations, such as discussing the weather. This morning I saw him in his car, and he waved to me and smiled so I waved back. He seems like a very nice man, and the only “stranger” I’ve had any contact with in this neighbourhood thus far…

This morning I was thinking about mass again so I went online and found the church’s website. I thought I would read a bit about the parish itself in an attempt to feel more comfortable to attend. Well, when I clicked on the priest’s page, guess whose picture was staring back at me!! I almost passed out. Its still jacket weather here, so I guess I never really noticed a collar… though in retrospect he does always wear black… just never thought anything of it… but wow!! Seriously, what are the odds that the one and only person in this neighbourhood who has befriended me is the priest of the parish I’ve been thinking about attending?? I am floored…

I posted my first post to you before I even read this one, okay, now I’m in tears.:bighanky:

(I really like Brother Bob Fishman from EWTN too.)

 

[csg1976]

Oh, interesting. Nice to hear from someone else who is Jewish and also Catholic. I had heard of Edith Stein before but I didn’t realize there were so many Jews who had converted.

Yeah, I was raised in a very religious Jewish household but felt the call of the Holy Spirit. There are actually a fair amount of Jewish converts, I know I was surprised to find that out but it makes perfect sense.

It hasn’t been easy but I love the Church and my place in it. I am very thankful I took that first step…

 

[blossom02]

Awe!!! I just love seeing God love his people so much. Susan you have brought me to tears of joy.

God Bless you in your search.

 

[allhers]

Awe!!! I just love seeing God love his people so much. Susan you have brought me to tears of joy.

God Bless you in your search.

Amen, God is so good!!

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I posted my first post to you before I even read this one, okay, now I’m in tears.:bighanky:

Oh sorry I made you cry, though if its happy tears then I guess its okay! It is pretty remarkable really. I’m still in shock. I guess though like someone said earlier, its a sign… though I really wasn’t looking for one. It certainly gives me clarity though. Not to mention, I really was quite afraid to attend mass; I’m reserved and have trouble introducing myself to new people. Not so scared now though, since I already know someone at the church!

I may just approach him now, at the coffee shop or in the park. Or I suppose I could even telephone and say who I am. It seems silly maybe but just knowing that I have already talked to him and he is nice makes me a lot braver.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

The worst that can happen is that you revisit some of the best memories of your childhood, and through that, possibly find a path to some healing. The best that can happen is that you find your true home. I would not worry about trying to analyze the feeling, but certainly act on any promptings that lead you toward healing of childhood hurts. I also would not discuss too much what is happening, unless it is with someone who is in a position to give you positive support.

This is really great advice, thanks. I’ve been spending weeks worrying and ruminating about what it all means. I am a scientist by profession so analyzing is something I do all the time, but I’m trying to let go of that now. I’m starting to understand it won’t really help me in this situation. I will try to see things from the point of view of it being positive no matter what transpires or where it leads me. And after the discovery I made this morning regarding the parish priest, I’m pretty much open to whatever happens.

I hope you come back and tell us how it is going with you. did we warn you about the praying? oh yeah, major prayers for you, we are good at that here.

Thank you for this too, I definitely need it!

 

[redrosetea]

God is Mystery, none of us understand much about Him…we are just to obey Him out of love…

 

[CSUNGerrie]

Yes it seems so!! If I’m honest its a bit frightening. I have had strange things happen to me before but this is just too much to be passed off as a coincidence…

You are blessed. Remember and cherish this moment. God is calling you.
May God continue to richly Bless You!:hug3:

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Thank you… I’m really amazed at all the responses I’m getting.

I want to continue and finish responding to everyone but I need to go to bed. I’ll continue tomorrow or Monday though. Thanks again everyone for all your help.

 

[Stella76]

Since I moved to this neighbourhood a couple of months back, I’ve frequented a nearby coffee shop and take walks in a nearby park. In both the park and the coffee shop, I often see the same older man, also walking or having a coffee. After a few times of seeing each other he started saying hello to me, and we’ve had some brief general conversations, such as discussing the weather. This morning I saw him in his car, and he waved to me and smiled so I waved back. He seems like a very nice man, and the only “stranger” I’ve had any contact with in this neighbourhood thus far…

This morning I was thinking about mass again so I went online and found the church’s website. I thought I would read a bit about the parish itself in an attempt to feel more comfortable to attend. Well, when I clicked on the priest’s page, guess whose picture was staring back at me!! I almost passed out. Its still jacket weather here, so I guess I never really noticed a collar… though in retrospect he does always wear black… just never thought anything of it… but wow!! Seriously, what are the odds that the one and only person in this neighbourhood who has befriended me is the priest of the parish I’ve been thinking about attending?? I am floored…

What a beautiful story! God is so good!

I’ll keep you in my prayers, Susan!
*Stella

 

[denwiles]

I apologize if this is not the correct forum for this post. I looked through each forum and this one seemed to best fit with my situation. Sorry for the length also, I tried to be brief but I felt I needed to explain myself a bit.

I am a professional woman in my early 30s, Jewish by birth though I was never religious nor connected with the Jewish community. I consider myself an agnostic.

I grew up in abject poverty. My mother had untreated mental illness and we were homeless/transients much of the time. Some of my earliest memories were of the Missionaries of Charity who had a shelter and soup kitchen in our city. We accessed their services and they were very kind to me.

After my mother’s death I was placed in foster care. I had problems with running away so I went through quite a few homes. When I would run off I would often go back to the Missionaries of Charity, who then would have to call the authorities to pick me up. I think I was quite problematic for them, though in retrospect I was just looking for something familiar.

A priest who frequented the convent/shelter took an interest in me. Ultimately he arranged for me to attend a private school for girls run by the Ursuline Sisters. I thrived there, the sisters and other staff were amazing. I graduated at 16 and went straight to university on a scholarship, where I studied computer science and robotics. I recently obtained my PhD. I’ve never married as I’m pretty much a geeky tech type of person and I’m “married” to my work. I have not kept in touch with any of the sisters or the priest.

Two months ago I started a position in a new city. One of the first things I noticed in my neighborhood was a Catholic church very near my apartment. The church bells ring every day at regular intervals and can be heard from my balcony. I drive by the church on my way to work. A sign outside says there is daily mass at 7 am.

I can’t explain the how or why, but I feel extremely drawn to attend mass. This has gone on for several weeks now. During Easter week I was very conflicted and agitated, I had trouble eating and sleeping, which is very unusual for me. All sorts of good memories of the sisters and the priest have come flooding back, things I haven’t thought of for years. I’m suddenly feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude for everything they did for me, and guilt at not keeping in touch with them. I’m considering writing them all to thank them and let them know I am well.

Yesterday I confided in a close friend regarding recent events. She is an atheist so naturally her response was not a favourable one. She is a psychologist by training, and is of the opinion that I am simply reacting to my recent move - that I am looking to relive some positive aspects of my childhood, the church building nearby is triggering me, and so forth. She’s advised me to avoid the church and see a therapist instead.

So, I am asking you, as Catholics, what do you think? Is my friend right? Should I avoid the Church or should I try mass and see what happens? I know a bit about the teachings of the Church; to be perfectly honest, some aspects are appealing to me and others are not. I worry I would be attending for the wrong reasons, as my friend suggests. I also do not want to be unintentionally disrespectful to the church, with being an agnostic. Though, lately I feel open to changing my beliefs.

Thank you in advance for any and all responses.

All I can Say is Jesus really loves you. Man could of invented alot of concepts, but one he could never invent nor could it of happened by chance or evolution. That is Love, the Bible says God is Love. Don’t let mean people ever ruin you from pursuing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, out or in the Church. I think your life story is awesome. Remember no one is perfect and despite what some would tell you about God He is just and Holy, but also kind, slow to anger and forgiving. God Bless:coffeeread:

 

[allhers]

Oh sorry I made you cry, though if its happy tears then I guess its okay! It is pretty remarkable really. I’m still in shock. I guess though like someone said earlier, its a sign… though I really wasn’t looking for one. It certainly gives me clarity though. Not to mention, I really was quite afraid to attend mass; I’m reserved and have trouble introducing myself to new people. Not so scared now though, since I already know someone at the church!

I may just approach him now, at the coffee shop or in the park. Or I suppose I could even telephone and say who I am. It seems silly maybe but just knowing that I have already talked to him and he is nice makes me a lot braver.

Oh, they were definately tears of joy for you. I just love the way our Lord makes Himself so known to some. I was just reading recently how even St. Therese puzzled over this.(She wondered, why this one and not that one? God is so mysterious and loving though, perhaps you were just more open, I sure don’t know, (heck if one of the greatest Saints puzzled over that I’m sure not going to try to figure it out.)

Did you make it to Mass today? If not, definately approach him the next time you see him or call and make an appointment to talk with him and tell him what you told us here. I am sure he will be amazed and grateful to God too. (Sometimes God gives us little signs like a certain person that will come into our life and when you see that person, you just know that God wanted them there for a reason, perhaps that is what happened to him. It would be interesting to hear his point of view on this.)

In my experience, thankfully, I’ve mostly only known the good and holy Priest and I am sure that he has been praying for you since he first saw you, (thats just pretty much the way we Catholics are, you run into someone new on the street and you pray for them, you see a tired, frazzled mother in a shopping center who looks like she’s on her last nerve, you say a prayer for her…etc…

I’m just so tickled for you!! (oh, and by the way, earlier you said something about being nervous about introducing yourself to new people, well if you did go to Mass you may have already noticed that they may not exactly have been a problem as we don’t usually introduce ourselves there.) You may have had the opportunity to after Mass though (or perhaps before to one of the ushers who may have held the door open for you, or handed you a missal or whateve, maybe not…)…Also, you may have attended a Mass where another of the Priest serving or visiting there prayed the Mass and not the one you are familiar with, don’t worry, its all good!

Just get in touch with him. Its only going to get better.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I spent my formitive years in a Catholic Orphanage, so I have some idea of what you experienced.

I’m sorry to hear you were orphaned however I’m always glad to hear from others who have faced a situation similar to my own, so thanks for sharing.

PJM:

I’ll try to answer your querry by sharing a story I heard years ago.

There was a Jewish man names Abe, who more than anything wanted to win his states Lotto. So every Sabbath he would pray, “Dear god why don’t you hear me, why don’t you answer my pleas?” This went on week after week, year after year. Abe never gave up and just pleading with god.

FInally, god grew tired of Abes pleas. So God spoke to Abe. God said, Abe, I hear you. What is it you want. Abe looked around and could see noone. So god asked again, “abe, what is you want?” Abe replied, " I want to win the lotto, why have you not heard my pleas?’

God replied, “Abe you have to buy a ticket before you can win!”

God is real, and God is really personal. In your case Susan, you lived God’s benolovent love and care for you through a priest, and through the Good Sisters! If you want more of God’s personal love, He’s there in Church waiting for you “to buy your ticket.”

Haha, that’s a very good story! Definitely sounds Jewish! Its very true, very wise. Thank you for sharing it.

PJM:

We here at the Forum, can help. Ask what ever questions you like. The Forum even offters
a private e-mail option, if something you wish to discusss requires that option.

I really appreciate all the help I’ve gotten here so far, people have been very kind. I didn’t know about the private email option, but I will keep that in mind if something comes up.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

And another thing, though I don’t know you, I’m proud of you for completing your doctorate. I have had to give up on mine, so I know firsthand how difficult graduate school can be. Well done!

Thank you! Yes, graduate school is brutal… I don’t know how I got through it to be honest. What was your PhD in, if you don’t mind me asking? I hope you get a chance to return to school and complete it, if that’s what you want.

 

[Stella76]

Thank you! Yes, graduate school is brutal… I don’t know how I got through it to be honest. What was your PhD in, if you don’t mind me asking? I hope you get a chance to return to school and complete it, if that’s what you want.

It was in early medieval history. I still love the Middle Ages, but I’m so exhausted with school right now! Maybe someday I’ll head back, but for now I’m looking forward to having a 9-5 job and reading for PLEASURE!

What’s your doctorate in? I’m unabashedly curious–I hope that’s okay!

*Stella

 

[Susan_Calvin]

It was in early medieval history.

Oh cool, that’s a part of history I find interesting also… feudalism was fascinating to me when I learned the rudimentary aspects of it in highschool. European history in general is quite interesting to me. I never took it past first year university though, so I wouldn’t be anywhere near your level of expertise.

Stella76:

What’s your doctorate in? I’m unabashedly curious–I hope that’s okay!

Oh duh, I thought I had said, sorry! My PhD is in computer science, and my thesis was on artificial intelligence. I’ve studied a wide range of subjects including engineering, applied mathematics and cybernetics as well as computer programming, because my goal was to work in the field of robotics. I wasn’t planning to get a PhD but after my masters I discovered that the best jobs in robotic design and research were listed as “PhD preferred” so I went that route. Now I work as a robotics software engineer. Which very basically means I design and program robots.

That’s why I have the username Susan Calvin… Dr. Susan Calvin is a character in Isaac Asimov’s book “I, Robot”, a scientist and “robo-psychologist” who worked with the robots in the book. I relate to her in some ways so I often use Susan Calvin or Dr. Calvin as a username. My real first name is Judith.

 

[chewchoo]

I just love the way our Lord makes Himself so known to some. I was just reading recently how even St. Therese puzzled over this.(She wondered, why this one and not that one? God is so mysterious and loving though, perhaps you were just more open, I sure don’t know, (heck if one of the greatest Saints puzzled over that I’m sure not going to try to figure it out.)

thank you! for this bit of information!! i too am puzzled, but like you said if St. Therese was puzzled, then who am i??

and susan,
welcome to the forums and welcome to your faith journey!
i just love hearing stories like yours, they make my heart sing. God comes to us in so many different ways. he is guiding you now, enjoy your journey!

 

[jlhargus]

Susan, I just ran accross your post, just wanted to say I will pray for you. God Bless

P.S. When you speak with that priest tell him, what you have told us. I think he will find it a great blessing.