Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

[Susan_Calvin]

yes, please take care of yourself better. our bodies are God’s temples and must be treated with care. (i have been learning myself about taking better care of my temple, if you are interested PM me for some of the websites/info i have been looking at)

Thanks, I think I will take you up on that and PM you very soon. I really am quite terrible in how I treat myself, I’m only now starting to realize the extent of it.

po18guy:

Amen! The Lord is leading Judith toward the contemplative life for a very good reason.

I never thought of it in those terms but its an excellent point. As I may be having my first confession soon, I’ve been trying to examine my conscience. I think one of my biggest faults / sins will definitely be how I push and mistreat myself… to the point of illness. Hopefully though I can curb that with this counseling and the Lord’s help of course.

 

[Liraco]

One thing I find really disconcerting - she told me she believes all religious people (including Catholics) are zealots who eventually are going to turn on the atheists and kill them! I mean its silly in one respect but it also really bothers me. I’m not sure if she’s saying that just to get a rise out of me or if she really believes that. Anyhow I’m just trying to ignore it at this point and pray for her.

Perhaps she’s trying (subconsciously) to pick a fight. To prove her right, to prove to herself you’ve become one of those that hurt her, and she can shut you out too and all religion for good.

Instead you show her love and patience. She’ll be confused because that’s not something “the world” does, the world expects to fight (and for all the wrong reasons) but instead you choose not to fight at all which is perplexing.

Jesus defeated evil, not by fighting back but by letting it spend itself on Him, we must do the same. Instead of “fighting fire with fire” (only makes a bigger mess), He let it burn out. Continue to pray, do not despair, and do not be provoked. If you must defend something, remember to make clear the separation between refuting an argument vs. attacking the person (because sometimes the person feels they’re the same thing, and thus feels attacked).

You said she was hurt by a Catholic, and it likely warped her view of things. Show her that the only thing you, the “zealot”, will do to “the atheist” (her) is to love her more! So let love heal her. I’ll be praying for her too.

Remember one more thing: we don’t convert anyone, it’s the Holy Spirit that does that. We plant the seeds and can help them grow, but actually making them grow is not in our power.

Take care and I hope you’re feeling much better now.

 

[chewchoo]

Jesus defeated evil, not by fighting back but by letting it spend itself on Him, we must do the same. Instead of “fighting fire with fire” (only makes a bigger mess), He let it burn out. Continue to pray, do not despair, and do not be provoked. If you must defend something, remember to make clear the separation between refuting an argument vs. attacking the person (because sometimes the person feels they’re the same thing, and thus feels attacked).

i like that!! thanks!

 

[Liraco]

i like that!! thanks!

You’re welcome, but I gotta give credit where credit is due:
youtube.com/watch?v=6_Nz6y_nreU
(Skip to 2:22 if you want, though it’s short overall).

Also similar words from him here (on LoTR). 4:23

 

[chewchoo]

You’re welcome, but I gotta give credit where credit is due:
youtube.com/watch?v=6_Nz6y_nreU
(Skip to 2:22 if you want, though it’s short overall).

Also similar words from him here (on LoTR). 4:23

ah, yes, fr. barron. he has some great stuff.

 

[4EverHis]

Hi Judith, I just read this whole thread! Wow!!! it’s so incredible what God has done in your life! It was really amazing reading your journey. I’m a convert too and I have to say, you were MUCH more open to it than I was! Lol! I guess we all have different journeys. I think it would be cool if you shared your story because I’m sure it can inspire others. I love how God lead you to such an orthodox parish… and the priest… and St John Vianney! haha… I love your story about Adoration too, and the part about the homeless man was very moving. I believe that Mother Teresa must have been praying for you, and I’m sure still is! That’s so wonderful that you are now Baptized! Are you going to be receiving the other Sacraments on Easter? I’ll be praying for you and I hope your first Eucharist will be a great blessing. Thanks for sharing your story with us… God bless you

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Hi Judith, I just read this whole thread! Wow!!! it’s so incredible what God has done in your life! It was really amazing reading your journey.

Wow, I can’t believe you read the whole thing, its so huge now! But I’m glad you enjoyed it. I still find it quite amazing myself. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I almost think I must be dreaming or something. That’s cool that you are also a convert. I don’t think the openness part matters, like you said, we all have different journeys and its the destination that counts!

4EverHis:

Are you going to be receiving the other Sacraments on Easter? I’ll be praying for you and I hope your first Eucharist will be a great blessing. Thanks for sharing your story with us… God bless you

I will be confirmed at Easter, as that’s when the Archbishop is here, but I may receive the other sacraments a bit earlier. In fact, my pastor has already invited me to do so, he suggested the day that I make my total consecration to Mary, that I do it then. I’m just having a bit of “cold feet” about it currently because I’m not sure I’m ready. I read about many other people on here waiting until Easter to receive everything all at once. I want to receive the Eucharist very badly, but I’m sort of doubting myself. I’m wondering if I know enough. My pastor thinks I do, and he says I have done just as much “work” (studying, praying, and so on) and more as someone who studies for a year, and that he wouldn’t offer it to me lightly. I should probably listen to him but I’m still thinking about it.

Thank you for your wishes and prayers, I really need them right now!

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Jesus defeated evil, not by fighting back but by letting it spend itself on Him, we must do the same. Instead of “fighting fire with fire” (only makes a bigger mess), He let it burn out. Continue to pray, do not despair, and do not be provoked. If you must defend something, remember to make clear the separation between refuting an argument vs. attacking the person (because sometimes the person feels they’re the same thing, and thus feels attacked).

I like this advice also… so much that I think it deserves to be quoted twice!

Thanks for providing the youtube link also, that was awesome!

 

[Chris_Catholic]

You could potentially benefit from watching this Mass with this wonderful priest. His homily starts at 6 minutes 51 seconds and it’s pretty short. Peace be with you

catholictv.com/shows/default.aspx?seriesID=29&videoID=510

 

[luminoushope]

I’m just having a bit of “cold feet” about it currently because I’m not sure I’m ready…I want to receive the Eucharist very badly, but I’m sort of doubting myself. I’m wondering if I know enough. My pastor thinks I do, and he says I have done just as much “work” (studying, praying, and so on) and more as someone who studies for a year, and that he wouldn’t offer it to me lightly. I should probably listen to him but I’m still thinking about it.

Hi Susan, and God bless you. I have not received communion yet but hope to do so at Easter. My convert friends tell me that once they started receiving, it changed their whole lives, in every way–their spiritual life, relationships, work, all of it. After all, receiving the Body and Blood of Christ would do that, wouldn’t it? I am going to be bold enough to suggest that your “cold feet” go beyond what you have studied or not studied. I think the magnitude of becoming a Catholic is hitting you. If you are striving for some kind of perfection before receiving Communion, it will never happen. That’s why we need the Lord and His Church, not to mention the reason for going to confession. If I were you, I would listen to my pastor and obey him for several reasons. One, he’s experienced with people and with the Church. Two, he has taught you and knows you, and he has taught many people. Three, our Church is a hierarchical Church. Authority is a big part of what sets the Catholic Church apart. Obedience is part of our walk and helps us grow spiritually. Think of those who take lifetime vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.

Susan, I try to avoid giving unsolicited advice, and I’m very sorry if I’m out of line, but I feel strongly about what I’m saying. God be with you.

Grace and peace to you.

Luminous Hope

 

[4EverHis]

Wow, I can’t believe you read the whole thing, its so huge now! But I’m glad you enjoyed it. I still find it quite amazing myself. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I almost think I must be dreaming or something. That’s cool that you are also a convert. I don’t think the openness part matters, like you said, we all have different journeys and its the destination that counts!

Sometimes I can’t quite believe I’m Catholic either! I never thought this would happen to me!

I will be confirmed at Easter, as that’s when the Archbishop is here, but I may receive the other sacraments a bit earlier.

awesome!

In fact, my pastor has already invited me to do so, he suggested the day that I make my total consecration to Mary, that I do it then.

you mean receiving Confession, Communion, and doing the Consecration on the same day? that would be a pretty amazing day I made my Total Consecration in June. It was awesome, powerful, I highly recommend it. Have you ever read the book “True Devotion” by St Louis de Montfort. It can really help to grow in holiness but it’s also a challenge… but don’t be discouraged about that cause God gives us all the graces we need. for a while I haven’t been following it as well as I should, and God is helping me to do it better now. It’s a process to learn to live it out just as our spiritual life as Catholics is a process. The Consecration is really beautiful though.

I’m just having a bit of “cold feet” about it currently because I’m not sure I’m ready. I read about many other people on here waiting until Easter to receive everything all at once. I want to receive the Eucharist very badly, but I’m sort of doubting myself. I’m wondering if I know enough. My pastor thinks I do, and he says I have done just as much “work” (studying, praying, and so on) and more as someone who studies for a year, and that he wouldn’t offer it to me lightly. I should probably listen to him but I’m still thinking about it.

I know what you mean… I didn’t feel ready either. I think it’s more about love than about knowledge. There will always be more to learn about the Church if you feel God is calling you here, as He has clearly lead you, then He is calling you and will take care of the rest. Try to trust Him and trust your priest =) I had “cold feet” too but in the end everything went well.

Thank you for your wishes and prayers, I really need them right now!

:hug1:

 

[4EverHis]

Hi Susan, and God bless you. I have not received communion yet but hope to do so at Easter. My convert friends tell me that once they started receiving, it changed their whole lives, in every way–their spiritual life, relationships, work, all of it. After all, receiving the Body and Blood of Christ would do that, wouldn’t it? I am going to be bold enough to suggest that your “cold feet” go beyond what you have studied or not studied. I think the magnitude of becoming a Catholic is hitting you. If you are striving for some kind of perfection before receiving Communion, it will never happen. That’s why we need the Lord and His Church, not to mention the reason for going to confession. If I were you, I would listen to my pastor and obey him for several reasons. One, he’s experienced with people and with the Church. Two, he has taught you and knows you, and he has taught many people. Three, our Church is a hierarchical Church. Authority is a big part of what sets the Catholic Church apart. Obedience is part of our walk and helps us grow spiritually. Think of those who take lifetime vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.

Susan, I try to avoid giving unsolicited advice, and I’m very sorry if I’m out of line, but I feel strongly about what I’m saying. God be with you.

Grace and peace to you.

Luminous Hope

Very true, Luminous Hope! (btw I love your name) and as a convert, I agree that receiving the Eucharist changes your whole life. It just makes your relationship with God so much closer and real. And it gives a lot of graces. That’s so wonderful that you’re becoming Catholic on Easter! prayers for you! God bless!

 

[grandfather]

I will be confirmed at Easter, as that’s when the Archbishop is here, but I may receive the other sacraments a bit earlier. In fact, my pastor has already invited me to do so, he suggested the day that I make my total consecration to Mary, that I do it then.

 

[tobbias88]

Read Simone Weil - a wonderful French Jewish writer/philosopher - whose case sounds very similar to yours.
She liked a lot of the catholic precepts but was never able to take the final - or perhaps that should the first - step.

God’s Speed on your Quest.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

You could potentially benefit from watching this Mass with this wonderful priest. His homily starts at 6 minutes 51 seconds and it’s pretty short. Peace be with you

Thanks so much, I enjoyed it, and its also great to have that website… I see that I can watch many videos online through that site. Now my only problem is, where to start!

 

[luminoushope]

Very true, Luminous Hope! (btw I love your name) and as a convert, I agree that receiving the Eucharist changes your whole life. It just makes your relationship with God so much closer and real. And it gives a lot of graces. That’s so wonderful that you’re becoming Catholic on Easter! prayers for you! God bless!

Thank you, 4EverHis. I just wanted to let you and all know that the name Luminous Hope expresses how I feel about becoming Catholic. I have been attending Catholic Church for almost a year and am in RCIA (great stuff). Please include me in your prayers, my entering the Church at Easter depends on what the Church authorities decide on prior marriage issues.

Peace be with you, L.H.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I am going to be bold enough to suggest that your “cold feet” go beyond what you have studied or not studied. I think the magnitude of becoming a Catholic is hitting you. If you are striving for some kind of perfection before receiving Communion, it will never happen.

Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head, in that I feel unworthy for lack of a better word. I worry that I will abuse the sacrament, receive it unworthily, etc… Though as you mention that’s where confession comes in. It really isn’t a question of knowing or not knowing (I’ve read the entire CCC and many other books!), its that I feel inadequate. I understand that no one is ever adequate, that its a gift and not something any of us deserve. Still its a bit scary to think I will receive that gift in only a month’s time. Either way, I will have received all these 4 sacraments by Easter, which will be less than a year since I first starting posting here that I had a strong desire to attend mass! It just all seems to have happened extremely fast. I worry that I am rushing and not taking things seriously, not slowing down enough to digest things, if that makes any sense.

luminoushope:

If I were you, I would listen to my pastor and obey him for several reasons. One, he’s experienced with people and with the Church. Two, he has taught you and knows you, and he has taught many people. Three, our Church is a hierarchical Church. Authority is a big part of what sets the Catholic Church apart. Obedience is part of our walk and helps us grow spiritually.

Yes, I understand listening to my priest also, especially in his case as I consider him to be a very holy priest and I recently asked him to be my spiritual director. I guess I just don’t see in myself what he sees in me. I wonder why he thinks I’m ready, when it takes other people a lot longer than it has taken me. I worry about rushing…

And to be perfectly honest, I look at my life as it was just 6 months back and compare it to now, and there is absolutely no comparison. So much has changed, and things continue to change. I could already write 100s of pages describing the changes. Its very amazing but also kind of frightening. I wonder where I’m going to be in a year from now even - imagine 5 years ! Its awesome but scary…

In any event no you were not out of line, your (name removed by moderator)ut is always appreciated. I decided to listen to my priest and receive the sacraments of confession and Eucharist the beginning of December as he suggested… talk about an early Christmas present!

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I made my Total Consecration in June. It was awesome, powerful, I highly recommend it. Have you ever read the book “True Devotion” by St Louis de Montfort. It can really help to grow in holiness but it’s also a challenge… but don’t be discouraged about that cause God gives us all the graces we need. for a while I haven’t been following it as well as I should, and God is helping me to do it better now. It’s a process to learn to live it out just as our spiritual life as Catholics is a process. The Consecration is really beautiful though.

That’s cool that you have also done the consecration. I have the book “The Secret of Mary” by St. Louis DeMontfort, and have access to “True Devotion” online. Both include instructions on preparing for the consecration. I’m still a bit confused as they seem to be 2 different books, and I agree they are a bit challenging to read and understand. Oh well I am reading both!

4EverHis:

Try to trust Him and trust your priest =) I had “cold feet” too but in the end everything went well.

Good to know I am not the only one! I’m praying it will go well for me too. I’m still nervous but I have made my decision.

 

[luminoushope]

I decided to listen to my priest and receive the sacraments of confession and Eucharist the beginning of December as he suggested… talk about an early Christmas present!

YES!!!

By the way, just as a side note, my husband and I met 9 weeks before we married. That was 25-1/2 years ago.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Congratulations! I have been off the forums for awhile, distracted by things like work.

Thanks! I sooo understand about work!

grandfather:

What a great idea to coincide consecration with completing the sacraments of initiation. It is impossible to overdose on grace.

Yes I think its going to be an amazing day… I have decided to go ahead with it rather than wait until Easter.

Everything you said makes a lot of sense. I should clarify that my “fear” isn’t really a matter of knowledge or lack of knowledge, if I seemed to write that in an earlier post I didn’t explain myself well. Its moreso what I said in my post to luminoushope, that I just don’t feel worthy of it. I worry about my sins too as its taken me a while to realize what is a sin and what isn’t. I’m still learning that some things are sins which I thought were perfectly okay! Luckily Father is all too happy to oblige when I ask him if something is a sin or not. I’m really fortunate to have a solid priest to guide me. I think I’d be really confused if he was very laid back and told me to make up my own mind about matters of conscience. He did tell me though that my conscience is becoming quite well-formed now. It certainly wasn’t to begin with.

grandfather:

It seems that you have three options. 1. You can never go any further on this journey.

Well that was never really an option or consideration as I was going to receive the sacraments at Easter vigil no matter what. My cold feet was just about receiving in a months’ time rather than in 5 months’ time.

Reading the responses though, and talking more with my priest today, who also mentioned grace, I have decided to do it sooner rather than later. Haha about the wool socks!