Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

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Thanks all for the discussion on confession. Sorry, I’m still not feeling very chatty, these days I’m mostly just answering in the prayer intentions section. I think its helping me through my own difficult time right now too, to pray for others and offer up my suffering for them. I love being a prayer warrior and love being Catholic! 🙂

Regarding the confession, I’ve spoken to my priest, and its just going to be of sins committed since my baptism, and that’s all he’s giving me absolution for. Like several people have said here, he told me the sins prior to my baptism are all forgiven. However, he’s letting me tell him the past sins which are still bothering me, for the sake of counseling me about them. I may even simply go to him in the next couple of weeks to talk to him about those sins, outside of the confessional. He gave me that option.

Thanks again for all the discussion, good wishes and so on. I hope I feel more chatty soon, please pray for me and I will do the same for all of you! :gopray:
 
Susan_Calvin said:
I never thought of it in those terms but its an excellent point. As I may be having my first confession soon, I’ve been trying to examine my conscience. I think one of my biggest faults / sins will definitely be how I push and mistreat myself… to the point of illness. Hopefully though I can curb that with this counseling and the Lord’s help of course.
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Here is a daily reading from Every Day is a Gift, by Catholic Book Publishing, for Friday, November 13th. It includes a short scripture reading, a quote of a Saint, and a prayer:
"One may toil away and struggle and press on, and yet fall farther behind.: (Sirach 11:11)
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“Be very careful to preserve your health. The devil employs a trick to deceive good souls. He incites them to do more than they are able, in order that they may no longer be able to do anything.” - Saint Vincent de Paul
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Heavenly Father, help me to use moderation in everything I do. Let me never try to do more than I am able and more than You require of me - but rather to do Your will alone. Amen.
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po18guy said:
Here is a daily reading from Every Day is a Gift, by Catholic Book Publishing, for Friday, November 13th. It includes a short scripture reading, a quote of a Saint, and a prayer:
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Excellent advice.

Saint Francis of Assisi abused his body, with excessive fasting and exhaustion. He callled his body, brother ***. Donkeys need to be driven to make them work. Before he died he realized this was sinful and repented of it.
 
grandfather said:
Excellent advice.

Saint Francis of Assisi abused his body, with excessive fasting and exhaustion. He callled his body, brother ***. Donkeys need to be driven to make them work. Before he died he realized this was sinful and repented of it.
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Section 797 of the Catechism also tells us that the Holy Spirit is contained within the body of Christ, which is His Church. Each of us, as members of that Church, is also a part of Christ’s Body and a temple of the Holy Spirit. As such, we need not and must not abuse the temple which God has established within us. Not to pound on this issue too much, but only to provide a reason for and motivation toward love of the body which God has graced us with. It is the evil one which turns us against ourselves, and who should be recognized as the source of all harm to the body. interestingly, today’s readings from the same book are as follows:
“If you honor the [the holy day] by not following your accustomed way or doing your own business… you will find your joy in the Lord.” Isaiah 58:13-14
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“Perfection does not exist in lacerating the body. Rather, it consists in curbing our perverse self-will” - Saint Catherine of Siena
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Prayer: Heavenly Father, teach me to curb my wayward self-will. Instead of subjecting my body to my own whims, may I concentrate on doing Your will in all things rather than my own. Amen.
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Thanks for this discussion and the quotes. Makes sense. I’m definitely being kinder to myself these days, learning to take things easy now that I am on sick leave. Initially I was “annoyed” to be on sick leave but I’m discovering its actually the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Only 2 weeks now until I make my first confession and communion… I’m very excited and nervous but I more or less feel “ready”! 🙂
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Thanks for this discussion and the quotes. Makes sense. I’m definitely being kinder to myself these days, learning to take things easy now that I am on sick leave. Initially I was “annoyed” to be on sick leave but I’m discovering its actually the best thing that’s ever happened to me!

Only 2 weeks now until I make my first confession and communion… I’m very excited and nervous but I more or less feel “ready”! 🙂
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A sled dog wants to run, run, run, until it can’t run anymore. A marathon runner runs thirty miles and if the race can not be finished, collapses in a quivering, panting, blob.

You can learn to pace yourself, push yourself in a healthy way without abusing your health, and if you do you will accomplish much more in the end.

On the path to healing you might want to ask yourself why you are so driven.

The spiritual life is similar to our physical lives in a way. There are periods of exertion and rest. We get drained and filled and drained and filled. On the day of your confession, and everyday when you receive Communion, this is a time of rest. We rest in the heart of God. What I have found, and this may be helpful to you as time goes by is that Jesus comes to us when we need Him, when we need refreshing and consolation, when we are tired and sore from the journey. Then He withdraws from us and the resting time is over. We have His presence and when He withdraws we feel abandoned and need to arise and move on looking for Him again, wondering where God went and why He left us. Sometimes we think we drove Him away. But this is how God leads us on to our final goal. We can’t stay in one place.

Think of the Jews in the wilderness being led to their promise. Resting feels good, but when we are resting we are not making progress. Heavenly consolations come to our souls when we need them, because we can’t go on. I am a weak person, so I receive many consolations. Mother Teresa was a spiritual athlete, a marathon runner. Her whole life, but for her initial call to serve the poor, she felt God had abandoned her. All she needed was God to tell her what He had for her and she remained faithful to it until her last breath.

The greatest Spanish poet is Saint John of the Cross. Read “Dark Night of the Soul” and the story of his life if you have not yet. It is a Catholic classic.

I hope your first confession and all those that follow will bring you an abundance of grace. The most fundamental essence of what is supposed to happen there is the soul is assured of God’s love. You are loved and you are lovable. You are forgiven. God takes away any sense of guilt and frees you to love more.
 
Thanks to you both! I am pretty excited, to receive Holy Communion especially… I am imagining its going to be awesome! I’m very grateful too, because way back in June I had started this thread saying I was phobic about the confessional:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=340986

But… as of now I think I’m over that! At least, I have done a couple of “practice” mock confessions with my priest (in the confessional) and I haven’t been afraid. He’s even sat in the reconciliation room with me for an appointment a couple of times and we just chatted, just to get me used to the idea of being in that small room with him. He’s really been really amazing and helpful. So I think I’ve (hopefully!) conquered that phobia with the grace of God. YAY! :extrahappy:
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Thanks to you both! I am pretty excited, to receive Holy Communion especially… I am imagining its going to be awesome! I’m very grateful too, because way back in June I had started this thread saying I was phobic about the confessional:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=340986 :
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All people have things in common. Fear in general is something we experience on different levels. When you confess the priest is a stand in for Jesus. He is an altar christi. In this sacrament you are really confessing to God, accusing yourself of the things you feel guilt about, times that you have betrayed His love.

Think about the story of Adam and Eve in the garden. They sin and hide from God, because they are afraid. Really, go read the story. Sin separates us from God and makes us afraid of God who loves us. We do evil things and He still oves us. This is difficult for us to believe, so He has to convince us. He comes looking for us. read the story. And we hide.

They are also ashamed. They cover themselves. We cover and hide our sins, because we believe if anyone knew what we really are like they would despise us. So shame makes us hide. In confession we expose what we have hidden and we find out that God loves us.

Every year my wife and I go to a fundraiser banquet for a local crisis pregnancy center. Young women who have been helped there will tell their stories. They are petrified of standing up in front of people and revealing the things they have hidden, their dark secrets, in fron of two or three hundred people. But they do it, because they are grateful for the help they received and want to help the organization. Sometimes the woman has had an aborition and found healing. I have been at the table with the young woman and her older counselor and seen them full of fear as the moment approaches when they will have to walk to the microphone. At the last minute they say they can’t do it and want to run away. One said, “I can’t tell all of these good people what I have done. they will hate me”. With lots of help they go through with it. More often than not they end up sobbing out of control. When the finally look out at all of those good people they are shocked to see them all in tears as well. When they are finished their confession, many from the audience come up to them and embrace them physically in tears. They receive nothing, but compassion, but still can’t understand why. How could all of these people love me, knowing what I did?

When the human soul encounters God’s love the reaction is universally the same. There is no denying it, but we still do not understand it. The reason is we know we are unworthy and do not deserve it. All the saints say the same thing. The only thing we have to overcome to receive it is fear. We run and hide from God, as did Adam and Eve in the garden.

You wrote in a early post that you felt unworthy. You are in excellent company. All the saints in heaven felt the same way, every one of them. Finally, hear Jesus speak from the gospel. He speaks directly to you. “Be not afraid”.
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Yes it seems so!! :eek: If I’m honest its a bit frightening. I have had strange things happen to me before but this is just too much to be passed off as a coincidence…
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Hi Susan I came onto this thread through you writing to “why didn’t I punch him”. I was so touched by your words that have been writen by a very strong and sincere spirit. (never mind the spelling). I spent 10 years studieing psychology , general,organisational and cultural. I am sorry to say that you might find your friend has the educational (head) knowledge but not the heart of the matter at hand.

As you have said in between it is the spirit of God guiding you, reach out to God take His guidance see others in the same place you have been and God will give you the tools to help others out of their situations and there will be others who will follow your example.

This cannot be done with out the spirit of God guiding so psychology has no place where the spirit has touched you. In that other thread i offered you biblical readings they can help you to understand God’s love.

Godbless
littleone
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Thanks to you both! I am pretty excited, to receive Holy Communion especially… I am imagining its going to be awesome! I’m very grateful too, because way back in June I had started this thread saying I was phobic about the confessional:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=340986

But… as of now I think I’m over that! At least, I have done a couple of “practice” mock confessions with my priest (in the confessional) and I haven’t been afraid. He’s even sat in the reconciliation room with me for an appointment a couple of times and we just chatted, just to get me used to the idea of being in that small room with him. He’s really been really amazing and helpful. So I think I’ve (hopefully!) conquered that phobia with the grace of God. YAY! :extrahappy:
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If you can confess face-to-face, I would strongly recommend it. You may look into the priest’s eyes and see Jesus before you. Just as you are in the presence of our Lord at adoration, so are you in His presence at any and all of the Sacraments. Since you have journeyed so long with this holy and obedient priest - in imitation of the Apostles, you will see God’s love reflected in his eyes. As to any phobia of confessing, God’s love is melting that wall. May you revel in the warmth and light of His love.

When you receive your first communion, you will then be a living, breathing Tabernacle of Christ. You carry Him in every fiber of your being. He lives in you and will be reflected to those around you - who may very well notice the change in your spirit.

Praise God that He has brought you thus far, and will carry you into complete communion with Him. No longer do you need to adore at a distance. In receiving the Eucharist and Confirmation, God will both possess you and you will possess Him, physically and spiritually.

Christ’s love and peace be with you.
 
If you have a strong desire to attend Mass and you are not Catholic, by all means go. You can also make the acquaintance of the priest at the end of Mass, shake is hand, and tell him that you are not Catholic, but had experienced a deep desire to attend Mass, and you might be thinking of entering the Church at some future point. Then, go a few more times.
 
With a thread this long you can’t really blame people for not knowing what’s gone on in your life, Susan (in reference to those still saying you should go to mass). Still not bad advice, to **continue ** doing so. 😉

Great to hear that you’re receiving those sacraments soon and that you’re over the phobia. If only us regular Catholics would keep in mind what goes on every Sunday in Mass (every day actually) to keep that excitement. I certainly try to now.

“If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”. You were planning on being baptized till next year and look where you’re at now. I’m very happy for you. 😃

Peace be with you.
 
I’m very excited for you, Susan. Can’t wait until you confess/receive. 😃 Praying for you.
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Thanks all for the discussion on confession. Sorry, I’m still not feeling very chatty, these days I’m mostly just answering in the prayer intentions section. I think its helping me through my own difficult time right now too, to pray for others and offer up my suffering for them. I love being a prayer warrior and love being Catholic! 🙂

Regarding the confession, I’ve spoken to my priest, and its just going to be of sins committed since my baptism, and that’s all he’s giving me absolution for. Like several people have said here, he told me the sins prior to my baptism are all forgiven. However, he’s letting me tell him the past sins which are still bothering me, for the sake of counseling me about them. I may even simply go to him in the next couple of weeks to talk to him about those sins, outside of the confessional. He gave me that option.

Thanks again for all the discussion, good wishes and so on. I hope I feel more chatty soon, please pray for me and I will do the same for all of you! :gopray:
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Anything in particular you’re struggling with? I’m also getting into being a prayer warrior, at least an amature one lol. I’d be happy to pray for you too!
 
Thanks crazzeto, I would appreciate the prayers and will pray for you as well. I have a thread re: my situation in the Prayer Intentions forum:

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=393542

So if you want to pray for me in there, I would be grateful. I was raped when I was a child and I’m having trouble with memories of it right now, also just general memories of my childhood in the South Bronx. I had therapy in my early 20s but it seems I need more and I have recently started seeing a therapist again. I’m very appreciative of all the prayer warriors’ and other members praying for me right now, I truly believe its helping as I am starting to feel somewhat better.
 
Liraco said:
With a thread this long you can’t really blame people for not knowing what’s gone on in your life, Susan (in reference to those still saying you should go to mass). Still not bad advice, to **continue ** doing so. 😉
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Haha thanks for saying this! I don’t know how to respond to people anymore when they tell me to go to mass! 😉 This thread has had a very long life.
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Liraco:
Great to hear that you’re receiving those sacraments soon and that you’re over the phobia. If only us regular Catholics would keep in mind what goes on every Sunday in Mass (every day actually) to keep that excitement. I certainly try to now.
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CatholicFireman:
I’m very excited for you, Susan. Can’t wait until you confess/receive. Praying for you.
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Thanks to you both. I am very excited also… just over a week now! :extrahappy:
 
littleone said:
Hi Susan I came onto this thread through you writing to “why didn’t I punch him”. I was so touched by your words that have been writen by a very strong and sincere spirit. (never mind the spelling).
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Wow thanks… I was just speaking from my heart. I really felt awful for that young man.
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littleone:
I spent 10 years studieing psychology , general,organisational and cultural. I am sorry to say that you might find your friend has the educational (head) knowledge but not the heart of the matter at hand.

As you have said in between it is the spirit of God guiding you, reach out to God take His guidance see others in the same place you have been and God will give you the tools to help others out of their situations and there will be others who will follow your example.

This cannot be done with out the spirit of God guiding so psychology has no place where the spirit has touched you. In that other thread i offered you biblical readings they can help you to understand God’s love.
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Thanks for your insight into this, I appreciate it. I continue to pray for my friend though we are not currently on speaking terms. I will check out the other thread, I haven’t been back there yet to see what you said to me, but I thank you very much and God bless you!
 
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