Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

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Happy new year to you too Judith (and to all on this forum!)

I’m glad to hear you’re back on track. I’m even happier to hear you already received our Lord. 😃 Continue to persevere, stay close to the Church, and continue to grow in your love and trust of God.

Remember that if you ever have doubts you have a very holy priest and you also have us here to help however we can. 👍

May you have a great year. 🙂
 
Wow! Judith! First of all, welcome home! As you may be able to surmise from my post count vs join date, I’m not a regular here, and it’s taken me a few days to take in all the posts on this thread, but it is an awesome read! God bless you and all the responders.

In re: distractions while saying the rosary, I’ve been diagnosed with ADD - Attention/Distraction Directability (I find that it’s only a “disorder” for those that want your attention) 😉 - and I can go off on a tangent for 10 minutes before I realize that I have a rosary in my hand, and get back to it…

One thing that I have found helpful is John Paul II’s suggestion that we add a clause after the first part of the Hail Mary that relates to the mystery we’re meditating on. e.g. “…of your womb, Jesus, who suffered in the garden.” Just having to think about adding that in the middle is enough to keep me on task (so to speak).

In re: spiritual attacks, you are in great company. St. Pio was physically assaulted, and scolded his guardian angel for not coming to his aid. But, as St. Pio was fond of saying, “Pray, and don’t worry.” I would also recommend developing a relationship with your guardian angel who’s been with you on this journey.
 
God bless you Judith what a beautiful and powerful story.

As a new convert I also experienced similar spiritual attacks. I’m not sure if it has already been suggested but I would advise you to get some sacramentals and have them with you. A great one is Holy Water (water blessed by a priest). When you wake each day you can bless yourself, you can sprinkle it around where you live and even have a small bottle in your purse. You could ask your priest to come to your apartment and do a house blessing and bless all your holy objects such as icons and pictures of Jesus, Our Lady and the Saints, a crucifix, your bible, candles etc.

I am a very rational person who does not like to overreact about spiritual warfare but there are definitely times when we are vulnerable to it. Becoming a new Catholic and receiving the sacraments for the first time is one of those times. If you don’t already I would suggest buying a piece of really nice jewelry such as a crucifix which can be blessed by your priest especially for your protection and worn at all times.

You are someone who has experienced darkness and light to the extreme. Start to ask God to help you discern darkness and light around you, if you sense darkness in any form flee from it and discuss it with your priest. This will help you hone your spiritual radar.

I say none of this to distract you from God’s love, joy and mercy. I just remember also struggling as a new convert because I had not been warned about spiritual attack and it is a common experience for those new to the Sacraments.

I am helping my eldest daughter to prepare for her First Holy Communion. We have just been reading about how God is our Rescuer. It has touched me deeply. Here is a simple reflection from the book we are using.

Sometimes I feel really lost and helpless.
My feelings take me over.
But God is my RESCUER.
When I feel lost and helpless God comes to my RESCUE and saves me.

Our family is praying for you Judith. May Jesus continue to bless you with peace, joy and hope.
 
Last evening, I offered prayers asking that you receive strength against all further spiritual attacks. The Lord will never abandon you.

Christ’s peace be always with you.
 
Judith,

As you have found no matter how hard the evil one attacks, Christ will never abandon you. Praise be to God that you mustered up all your courage, and went into that confessional (you should really be proud of your self for that)! The graces provided through the sacrament, and the Rosary are powerful!

Unfortunetly, it also shows to what lengths the evil one will go to destroy your soul. Not even gain it mind you, as popular culture would have it. The devil can’t really gain a soul, he will suffer the same damnation as every other soul that rejects God (probably worse). But he’s out to destroy as many souls as he can before he goes down, so as Peter says, one should always be on the watch because the devil is like a preditor on the hunt!

Good for you for getting your self together, and getting out of his clutches!
 
Judith–
I haven’t posted to your string for several months, now, but let me say “WELCOME!” into the bosom of Holy Mother Church. Congratulations! How wonderful it is that you have been baptized, confirmed, and received into full Communion! God is GOOD!!!
– Though I am sure it was TERRIFYING at the time, now we can look back and laugh at that silly old devil trying to dissuade you from following God’s plan for your life. And therein, perhaps, lies a clue for how to best deal with any future attacks.
– I find it best when under the assault of that evil worm, that fly-speck, to laugh at him/it. He finds it especially irksome, when he has made one of his nefarious suggestions to me, if I say, “Oh, is that so, JESUS? Is that what you really want me to do, JESUS? Well, JESUS, why don’t we discuss this with the priest, first?” Then I have myself a good hearty laugh. And he slithers off, to bother somebody else, I suppose.
– “Those that call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved” – even if that name-calling is done in jest at old Jack Tar. People may be pious and somber at their prayers but “there is much rejoicing (read “laughter”) in Heaven over one repentant sinner.” So, Judith, just kick that old devil in the butt (please, excuse my “French”), send him on his way, and have yourself a good laugh with all the angels and saints!
– May God richly bless you in your renewed devotion. Sincerely, Rusty
 
Thanks all for your prayers and good wishes. I’ve been offline for quite a while, I needed to go offline as things were very difficult for a time. I started therapy for the rape and after a few weeks of therapy I am finally starting to feel a little better. I am back to work and concentrating on my ftf (face to face) life. I will be confirmed at the Easter vigil and I’m very excited about that! 🙂 Otherwise just trying to take care of myself… with God’s grace, things are improving and I feel so fortunate to have my new-found faith to give me strength. I am starting to feel that the Holy Spirit called me to the Church at this time because He knew I was going to go through this very difficult period, and He wanted me to have His strength to carry me through. I am so grateful to be cared about that much! 🙂

Just as an aside, I realized today that I received emails from some of you, weeks ago… but that email account is one I no longer use. Sorry for not replying. If you wish to write to me ever, just use the private messaging feature here at CAF. I can’t promise I will reply but I do get my private messages and read them.

Anyhow, thanks for your continued support, please remember me at Easter vigil! Take care all, you are in my prayers.
 
God be praised! The Lord is healing you in His own time. He knows your heart and has seen that all is proceeding at exactly the right pace. We are here for prayer support always. Amen!
 
Thanks, I really appreciate the prayers and things are getting better, thanks be to God! 🙂 I hope you are in good health and doing well.
 
Rustyxcv said:
Judith–
I haven’t posted to your string for several months, now, but let me say “WELCOME!” into the bosom of Holy Mother Church. Congratulations! How wonderful it is that you have been baptized, confirmed, and received into full Communion! God is GOOD!!!
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Thanks for the congrats Rusty and nice to hear from you again! 🙂
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Thanks, I really appreciate the prayers and things are getting better, thanks be to God! 🙂 I hope you are in good health and doing well.
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Still on the experimental drug, and still in remission, thanks to prayer and the mercy of our God. Amen! I was beginning to be concerned about your absence here, but gave it to the Lord. He never fails!
 
I’m glad to hear you are still doing well. Sorry for any worry I caused… unfortunately I was extremely depressed for a while and it was difficult to do much of anything. I am feeling a lot better now though. You are right, prayers are the best! 🙂
 
Susan_Calvin said:
I’m glad to hear you are still doing well. Sorry for any worry I caused… unfortunately I was extremely depressed for a while and it was difficult to do much of anything. I am feeling a lot better now though. You are right, prayers are the best! 🙂
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We all follow patterns. We go down paths that are familiar that lead us to the places we have already been. We are creatures of habit. Going through life can sometimes seem like watching the same movie again and again. Sometimes we go through things we never want to repeat. Can we find the path that takes us to these places and go another way? Sometimes!

There is a path to depression and a path to joy. Joy is a gift of the Holy Spirit.

As Lent progresses we are preparing again to follow the bloody footsteps of Jesus, going with Him, carrying our own crosses, sharing His agony, forgiving His enemies, sharing His mother’s tears and grief, showing mercy and knowing mercy. We also rise with Him full of joy, victorious.

We Catholics offer Him our suffering. He accepts it as the sacrifice of His body, the Church.

Jesus wants all of your anguish and depression. It is valuable to Him, useful. He wants you to give Him the pain you have carried so many years, all of it. He wants every painful memory, every tear.

He incorporates it with His agony to offer it to the Father as acceptable sacrifice for the redemption of the world. But He can not do this unless you make the offering. This is the path that relieves our suffering by transforming it to joy.

Your soul is God’s treasure. You are His beloved.
 
What you are experiencing is God calling you; He invites but never demands. Of course it is not an accident that you have become acquainted with the priest. 🙂 I love hearing about the beginning of your journey. Just go to where you feel drawn and God will provide you with all that you need. I am happy for you. God bless. My prayers go with you.
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Thanks all for your prayers and good wishes. I’ve been offline for quite a while, I needed to go offline as things were very difficult for a time. I started therapy for the rape and after a few weeks of therapy I am finally starting to feel a little better. I am back to work and concentrating on my ftf (face to face) life. I will be confirmed at the Easter vigil and I’m very excited about that! 🙂 Otherwise just trying to take care of myself… with God’s grace, things are improving and I feel so fortunate to have my new-found faith to give me strength. I am starting to feel that the Holy Spirit called me to the Church at this time because He knew I was going to go through this very difficult period, and He wanted me to have His strength to carry me through. I am so grateful to be cared about that much! 🙂

Just as an aside, I realized today that I received emails from some of you, weeks ago… but that email account is one I no longer use. Sorry for not replying. If you wish to write to me ever, just use the private messaging feature here at CAF. I can’t promise I will reply but I do get my private messages and read them.

Anyhow, thanks for your continued support, please remember me at Easter vigil! Take care all, you are in my prayers.
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I’m so happy to read that God has carried you through your crisis, I was starting to worry a little and wonder where you went off to. God certainly knows what’s best for us, and times things perfectly! I’m getting ready (as is my fiance) for the Easter Vigial right now. She’s receiving the Eucharist & Confirmation, I’m sponsoring a Candiate! Just an aside, are you going to get the expereince of being dunked? Our Catechumans do in my parish, I must say I’m a little envious, not just of that but also receiving the Graces of baptism when you’re old enough and mature enough to fully appriciate it! What a wonderful thing!

God bless you,
Carlo
 
Thanks everyone very much for the prayers, though I’m really quite okay, feeling quite good overall, since I started therapy. I’ve just been spending much less time on the computer these days… really limiting myself as I got quite addicted to the forums and the computer in general when I was on sick leave. I needed to spend more time doing things in my face to face life, and still do.
crazzeto said:
I’m getting ready (as is my fiance) for the Easter Vigial right now. She’s receiving the Eucharist & Confirmation, I’m sponsoring a Candiate! Just an aside, are you going to get the expereince of being dunked? Our Catechumans do in my parish, I must say I’m a little envious, not just of that but also receiving the Graces of baptism when you’re old enough and mature enough to fully appriciate it! What a wonderful thing!
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No, I was already baptized in September - and it was wonderul, but on Saturday I was “only” confimed! 🙂 It was also a fantastic experience. As was my first Easter Triduum. Congratulations to your fiance, I hope all went well and you are in my prayers!
 
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