Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

[Susan_Calvin]

By the way, just as a side note, my husband and I met 9 weeks before we married. That was 25-1/2 years ago.

Oh wow that was QUICK! Haha. But obviously it worked out great for you. I’m trusting in God that I am making the right decision also. I guess technically I already set things in motion by consenting to being baptized…

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Read Simone Weil - a wonderful French Jewish writer/philosopher - whose case sounds very similar to yours.

Thanks, I will add her to my ever growing book list!

 

[grandfather]

Thanks!

Well that was never really an option or consideration as I was going to receive the sacraments at Easter vigil no matter what. My cold feet was just about receiving in a months’ time rather than in 5 months’ time. !

I was exaggerating with logic.

 

[Liraco]

If you have cold feet try some wool socks. Jesus is much more interested in your heart than your feet.

Genius.

@Judith: So you don’t feel worthy? That to me says you’re ready (and that your priest is right). Your words show you know what you’re getting yourself into, which is why it’s scary but exciting.

Funny you should mention “rushing”, when most people seem to complain that God takes things too slow but in your case it’s too fast. He works at His speed, not ours. A day is like a thousand years and a thousand like one day. Don’t worry about “catching up”, just trust Him like you have done so far, so why stop now?

Perhaps this is just your rational brain taking over and trying to slam the breaks on what it doesn’t fully grasp. Reason is there to help us, but if we let it go too far it can hinder us. As Peter Kreeft wisely mentioned, our Lord didn’t say “take this and understand it” but rather “take this and eat it”.

 

[pippin]

I worry about my sins too as its taken me a while to realize what is a sin and what isn’t. I’m still learning that some things are sins which I thought were perfectly okay! Luckily Father is all too happy to oblige when I ask him if something is a sin or not.

Judith, I’m sure Father mentioned this to you, but all the sins you commited before your baptism have been washed away. This is the great thing about baptism, it removes original sin and any actual sins we have comitted. :extrahappy: For your confession you only have to concentrate on sins commited after your baptism.

 

[po18guy]

Judith, I’m sure Father mentioned this to you, but all the sins you commited before your baptism have been washed away. This is the great thing about baptism, it removes original sin and any actual sins we have comitted. :extrahappy: For your confession you only have to concentrate on sins commited after your baptism.

Yes! So, Judith, now that you are aware of how infinitely God loves you, that realization will be infused to the core of your being. This will lead you to love yourself as a growing reflection of God’s love of you. So, with graces from above, you will begin the process of “unlearning” the bad habit of pushing yourself past your limits. This very habit brought your recent illnesses upon you, since such behavior weakens your immune system.

You see how the Lord brought goodness even out of your bad habit? He knows that, in this day of virulent viruses, you were at risk. So, from it, He brought about your baptism. Your past sins are destroyed, but your habits remain. Since Christ is the Divine Physician, He will heal you and strengthen you to be satisfied with your life in Him, and to apply human restrictions upon yourself, as He has created them for you.

You are now called to begin to love yourself as God loves you. As with us, you will fail - perhaps frequently at first. However, it is the process, the quest, the journey toward perfection in God that is salvific. And, loving yourself will allow you to love those around you - those you may have kept at a distance. Our spirits will not be cleansed until Heaven, but we fight the good fight while exiled here on earth. And, that fight begins within ourselves.

Christ’s peace be with you.

 

[crazzeto]

Judith, I’m sure Father mentioned this to you, but all the sins you commited before your baptism have been washed away. This is the great thing about baptism, it removes original sin and any actual sins we have comitted. :extrahappy: For your confession you only have to concentrate on sins commited after your baptism.

Forget everything that happend prior to baptism, you’re starting with a clean slate.

 

[grandfather]

Forget everything that happend prior to baptism, you’re starting with a clean slate.

I am not sure that is correct advice. All of the converts I have known made general confessions. Better check with your priest.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Thanks all. I’m preparing for my first confession right now, so I will be speaking to Father about this soon. Regardless of whether it “counts” or not, I am going to be making a general confession, I already asked Father if I could, just for my peace of mind basically.

Sorry I’m not very chatty at the moment, going through a rough time remembering some awful things that happened to me as a child. I’m currently seeking a therapist and doing lots of extra praying and holy hours when I’m able. I’ve asked the prayer warriors to all pray for me, and so I extend that request to anyone reading here.

Thanks again, I really appreciate all of your (name removed by moderator)ut. Once I feel a little better I will comment more.

 

[jmcrae]

Thanks all. I’m preparing for my first confession right now, so I will be speaking to Father about this soon. Regardless of whether it “counts” or not, I am going to be making a general confession, I already asked Father if I could, just for my peace of mind basically.

Sorry I’m not very chatty at the moment, going through a rough time remembering some awful things that happened to me as a child. I’m currently seeking a therapist and doing lots of extra praying and holy hours when I’m able. I’ve asked the prayer warriors to all pray for me, and so I extend that request to anyone reading here.

Thanks again, I really appreciate all of your (name removed by moderator)ut. Once I feel a little better I will comment more.

I think this may be one of the stages of conversion, since I remember going through something similar about a year after I was Confirmed - it seemed as if every bad thing that had ever happened to me in my life was being replayed in my mind in vivid technicolor. My Spiritual Director explained to me that I was going through a “healing of memories.”

(Kind of like when they get snake venom out, they have to make it come to the surface, so they can wash it out - Jesus is making all this bad stuff come to the surface so that He can wash it away.)

 

[grandfather]

Thanks all. I’m preparing for my first confession right now, so I will be speaking to Father about this soon. Regardless of whether it “counts” or not, I am going to be making a general confession, I already asked Father if I could, just for my peace of mind basically.

Sorry I’m not very chatty at the moment, going through a rough time remembering some awful things that happened to me as a child. I’m currently seeking a therapist and doing lots of extra praying and holy hours when I’m able. I’ve asked the prayer warriors to all pray for me, and so I extend that request to anyone reading here.

Thanks again, I really appreciate all of your (name removed by moderator)ut. Once I feel a little better I will comment more.

You are loved. You are lovable.

After your confession you will most likely feel much better.

We all have painful memories. We are all wounded.

The most difficult hurt to forgive is betrayal. With every sin we commit we betray God who loves us. He forgives us. He tells us He will not forgive us unless we forgive those who sin against us. Blessed are the merciful, mercy shall be theirs.

We take this realization to confession. Two things are happening in this sacrament of healing our souls. Your own burden of sin is relieved, all debt is forgiven and you release all those who are burdened, because of the hurt they caused you. You walk away from it all, free. This is the only true freedom.

It is my sin that crucified Jesus. We hear so much about Jesus being our “personal” Savior. When I see Him on the cross, I put Him there. It is very personal. When I see Him dead in His mother’s arms, I caused this. The Jews and Romans were my agents. I betrayed Him. He forgives me as I forgive others.

 

[crazzeto]

I am not sure that is correct advice. All of the converts I have known made general confessions. Better check with your priest.

The Catechism can help here

usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2.shtml#art1

1226
From the very day of Pentecost the Church has celebrated and administered holy Baptism. Indeed St. Peter declares to the crowd astounded by his preaching: "Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."26 The apostles and their collaborators offer Baptism to anyone who believed in Jesus: Jews, the God-fearing, pagans.27 Always, Baptism is seen as connected with faith: “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household,” St. Paul declared to his jailer in Philippi. And the narrative continues, the jailer "was baptized at once, with all his family."28

1227
According to the Apostle Paul, the believer enters through Baptism into communion with Christ’s death, is buried with him, and rises with him:

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, so that as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.29
The baptized have "put on Christ."30 Through the Holy Spirit, Baptism is a bath that purifies, justifies, and sanctifies.31

1228
Hence Baptism is a bath of water in which the “imperishable seed” of the Word of God produces its life-giving effect.32 St. Augustine says of Baptism: "The word is brought to the material element, and it becomes a sacrament."33

1263
By Baptism*** all sins are forgiven***, original sin and all personal sins, as well as all punishment for sin.66 In those who have been reborn nothing remains that would impede their entry into the Kingdom of God, neither Adam’s sin, nor personal sin, nor the consequences of sin, the gravest of which is separation from God.

All your sins are forgiven when you are baptised, you have a clean slate. You will be asked to confess prior to confirmation, for a couple reasons. First of all, you have to receive the sacrament of reconciliation prior to confirmation, secondly because you might will (probably will) sin between baptism and reconcilition. So anyway,forget your pre-baptism life. It’s literally been washed away, you are a new creation.

 

[grandfather]

The Catechism can help here

usccb.org/catechism/text/pt2sect2.shtml#art1

All your sins are forgiven when you are baptised, you have a clean slate. You will be asked to confess prior to confirmation, for a couple reasons. First of all, you have to receive the sacrament of reconciliation prior to confirmation, secondly because you might will (probably will) sin between baptism and reconcilition. So anyway,forget your pre-baptism life. It’s literally been washed away, you are a new creation.

I have known quite a few converts. All made general confessions with no exception. I think that is the standard practice. Indeed baptism erases all guilt of sin, but it is probably best to follow the advice of one’s priest and the practice of the Church.

Perfect contrition also remits the guilt of sin, but we also need to confess.

Also the converts I know deisred to make a confession. They had a lot of weight to be rid of and confession helps, hearing yourself accuse yourself of your sins and hearing the words of absoltion are very helpful to an adult. In the words of one friend, after her confession, “The euphoria did not hit me until I got in the car.” Most Catholics instantly know what she meant, that amazing feeling.

 

[crazzeto]

I have known quite a few converts. All made general confessions with no exception. I think that is the standard practice. Indeed baptism erases all guilt of sin, but it is probably best to follow the advice of one’s priest and the practice of the Church.

Perfect contrition also remits the guilt of sin, but we also need to confess.

Also the converts I know deisred to make a confession. They had a lot of weight to be rid of and confession helps, hearing yourself accuse yourself of your sins and hearing the words of absoltion are very helpful to an adult. In the words of one friend, after her confession, “The euphoria did not hit me until I got in the car.” Most Catholics instantly know what she meant, that amazing feeling.

You have to receive the sacrament of reconciliation prior to confirmation as far as I know… Regardless, none of this changes the fact that baptism washes away all sin which occured before that point (does nothing for sin after that point).

I’m not saying don’t confess, I am saying however that her sinful life has been washed away. By all means, at your first confession pour your heart out, even about sins already forgiven if you wish. But none of this changes the simple fact, we are baptised for the forgivness of sin, particularly the one sin which only baptism can forgive, original sin. More over, we at this time also receive the holy spirit, and are made members of the body of Christ.

 

[jmcrae]

I have known quite a few converts. All made general confessions with no exception. I think that is the standard practice. Indeed baptism erases all guilt of sin, but it is probably best to follow the advice of one’s priest and the practice of the Church.

According to the Catechism (1446), the Sacrament of Reconciliation is for the forgiveness of post-baptismal sin. Since Baptism is the pre-eminent Sacrament of Forgiveness (Catechism 1427) it would not be appropriate to consider oneself “not yet forgiven” of sins committed prior to Baptism.

Obviously if you wanted to receive spiritual counseling with regard to something that happened before, then you could certainly do that, but it’s important to understand that all of your sins committed before Baptism are forgiven in Baptism itself.

Perfect contrition also remits the guilt of sin, but we also need to confess.

Perfect contrition is not a Sacrament of Forgiveness. Baptism is.

 

[Indyann]

Thanks all. I’m preparing for my first confession right now, so I will be speaking to Father about this soon. Regardless of whether it “counts” or not, I am going to be making a general confession, I already asked Father if I could, just for my peace of mind basically.

Sorry I’m not very chatty at the moment, going through a rough time remembering some awful things that happened to me as a child. I’m currently seeking a therapist and doing lots of extra praying and holy hours when I’m able. I’ve asked the prayer warriors to all pray for me, and so I extend that request to anyone reading here.

Thanks again, I really appreciate all of your (name removed by moderator)ut. Once I feel a little better I will comment more.

Judith,

Please do not torture yourself needlessly to remember past sins.

God forgave them at the time of your Baptism. And guess what? He forgot them, too.

Praying for you.

 

[eucharisteo]

I apologize if this is not the correct forum for this post. I looked through each forum and this one seemed to best fit with my situation. Sorry for the length also, I tried to be brief but I felt I needed to explain myself a bit.

I am a professional woman in my early 30s, Jewish by birth though I was never religious nor connected with the Jewish community. I consider myself an agnostic.

I grew up in abject poverty. My mother had untreated mental illness and we were homeless/transients much of the time. Some of my earliest memories were of the Missionaries of Charity who had a shelter and soup kitchen in our city. We accessed their services and they were very kind to me.

After my mother’s death I was placed in foster care. I had problems with running away so I went through quite a few homes. When I would run off I would often go back to the Missionaries of Charity, who then would have to call the authorities to pick me up. I think I was quite problematic for them, though in retrospect I was just looking for something familiar.

A priest who frequented the convent/shelter took an interest in me. Ultimately he arranged for me to attend a private school for girls run by the Ursuline Sisters. I thrived there, the sisters and other staff were amazing. I graduated at 16 and went straight to university on a scholarship, where I studied computer science and robotics. I recently obtained my PhD. I’ve never married as I’m pretty much a geeky tech type of person and I’m “married” to my work. I have not kept in touch with any of the sisters or the priest.

Two months ago I started a position in a new city. One of the first things I noticed in my neighborhood was a Catholic church very near my apartment. The church bells ring every day at regular intervals and can be heard from my balcony. I drive by the church on my way to work. A sign outside says there is daily mass at 7 am.

I can’t explain the how or why, but I feel extremely drawn to attend mass. This has gone on for several weeks now. During Easter week I was very conflicted and agitated, I had trouble eating and sleeping, which is very unusual for me. All sorts of good memories of the sisters and the priest have come flooding back, things I haven’t thought of for years. I’m suddenly feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude for everything they did for me, and guilt at not keeping in touch with them. I’m considering writing them all to thank them and let them know I am well.

Yesterday I confided in a close friend regarding recent events. She is an atheist so naturally her response was not a favourable one. She is a psychologist by training, and is of the opinion that I am simply reacting to my recent move - that I am looking to relive some positive aspects of my childhood, the church building nearby is triggering me, and so forth. She’s advised me to avoid the church and see a therapist instead.

So, I am asking you, as Catholics, what do you think? Is my friend right? Should I avoid the Church or should I try mass and see what happens? I know a bit about the teachings of the Church; to be perfectly honest, some aspects are appealing to me and others are not. I worry I would be attending for the wrong reasons, as my friend suggests. I also do not want to be unintentionally disrespectful to the church, with being an agnostic. Though, lately I feel open to changing my beliefs.

Thank you in advance for any and all responses.

I am moved by your post and will be praying for you on your journey. I am skeptical of some aspects of psychology, but it is a necessary science. Triggers may they be or an invitation from God to join Him. I think the latter.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I am moved by your post and will be praying for you on your journey. I am skeptical of some aspects of psychology, but it is a necessary science. Triggers may they be or an invitation from God to join Him. I think the latter.

Thanks so much for the prayers. But just to let you know, this thread is almost 7 months old, and much has changed since then. I have begun the process of converting. I was baptized in September, make my first confession and communion this December, and I’m being confirmed at the Easter vigil in 2010.

Wow… amazing to ponder how much has changed in that time !

 

[eucharisteo]

Thanks all. I’m preparing for my first confession right now, so I will be speaking to Father about this soon. Regardless of whether it “counts” or not, I am going to be making a general confession, I already asked Father if I could, just for my peace of mind basically.

Sorry I’m not very chatty at the moment, going through a rough time remembering some awful things that happened to me as a child. I’m currently seeking a therapist and doing lots of extra praying and holy hours when I’m able. I’ve asked the prayer warriors to all pray for me, and so I extend that request to anyone reading here.

Thanks again, I really appreciate all of your (name removed by moderator)ut. Once I feel a little better I will comment more.

When I came back home to the Catholic Church I was faced with confessing sins that Protestants typically don’t believe are sins. But they were and I think part of me still knew it and so I confessed in the harshest way possible in my favor. That is I went down the list and basically said that if I didn’t do these sins in reality I did them in my mind. I had a difficult marriage prior to returning to the Church. My wife took to it like a fish to water. And my shopping list confession pretty much covered everything by numbers so to speak. I had lots of anger issues growing up and left not on a good foot. In fact, I tried to convert Catholics until I realized that we didn’t have all the answers either and were molested by this world, the world of sin. I found myself doubting even in the existence of God many times and grapled erroneously with the trinity at times and wondered how in the world do we know. It was stumbling across some pretty interesting writings that opened up a world I had never known about. I heard of Church fathers, but I didn’t realize their writings were still in existence and translated on the internet. You might say I always chose to believe even if I had doubts. Why, because if God doesn’t exsist then I could do anything I want and justify it, including leave my family, which I wouldn’t and why I chose to live for God blinded. Now I believe God has revealed Himself to me in a profound way that I can’t go into. But it’s been an amazing few years and he is working on me, preparing me for something. I feel it. Your “Story” is important. Our homily this week was just about that, “everybody has a story”. Hopefully no one will figure out who I am now because I tend to put my foot in my mouth a lot. It’s truly humbling to be me because I embarrass myself quite a bit. But it’s amazing anyway what God is doing in our lives.

 

[brianakira]

I am a professional woman in my early 30s, Jewish by birth though I was never religious nor connected with the Jewish community. I consider myself an agnostic. … Should I avoid the Church or should I try mass and see what happens?

I find the question hard to understand.

Why on Earth would any Christian tell you not to go to Church? (Unless of course you were only going to doubt, etc)

Of course the doors are always open.

I would hope you wouldn’t cling onto any idea that Jews are somehow special though.

And of course, since you are not religious, you are unlikely to defend the kind of Anti-Christ blasphemous hatred spouted in the Talmud (E.g. Mary was a whore who conceived Jesus when she screwed the best man at her wedding, while she was menstruating (“nidah” they call it), and “played the whore” with Romans. Christ was a sorcerer who was killed by the Jews on a stake, and they celebrate their murder and rejoice in their false belief that He is boiling for eternity in a cauldron of **** and sperm. etc)

So, yes, please, feed your soul and escape the death cult.