S
SerraSemper
Guest
Good morning, Hellosunshine!Im a woman in her twenties and I’m struggling with a question. My boyfriend and i are devout Catholics, but we have slipped several times and went to third base. What I mean is that we had manual sex. I let him finger me and penetrate me with his fingers. We have not done anything else: nothing like oral or vaginal sex. And I know he did fingering when he was a young teen. This also stresses me out because I feel like he didn’t wait for me and that part of him should be mine.
Just want to know: are we still virgins if we’ve done that and nothing more?
Note: please be sensitive. I have emotional problems and this whole topic hurts me tremendously.
When I was considering marriage, I always wanted a virgin for a husband. It took a long time for me to realize that I could actually love someone who was not a virgin but who had repented and lived chastely for quite some time (and who didn’t have dangerous STDs). It was the person I wanted to love, and sometimes such a person might have sinned grievously in the sight of God. While I preferred to have a virgin, I realized that my heart had expanded, and that I could actually marry someone who had “secondary virginity”.
It is very common for women who marry a man who has been divorced or has had other relationships to be jealous and insecure about her position and relationship with the man. This jealousy either has foundation (the man is a womanizer), or not (he has truly repented or you are his one focus). A prudent woman who evaluates a man for marriage looks at his behavioral patterns. If he slipped once as a teenager, that is not a danger sign. If he did so from his teens up to the point of his dating you, then, yes, a prudent woman would pause and evaluate the risks of infidelity and STDs and so on.
Obviously it is up to the woman if she mandates virginity as an absolute requirement for a potential spouse. And just as obviously, she may end up as a spinster because most men engage in or have engaged in porn, sex, and solitary sin according to the statistics. Men who have saved themselves are pretty rare, but they do exist, and I’ve been privileged to meet some of them. To put things very bluntly, women should never, ever, marry someone they are jealous of. It ruins the marriage because marriage is built on trust and mutual respect. Same for men. If they are irritated by the kisses and so on that their love has given to others, they should not marry until/unless that is worked through.
I can understand your discomfort and dismay in your situation. While I would not call you a virgin, you certainly can have “secondary” virginity restored as the good Lord freely forgives. Yes, some innocence has been lost. However, what you need to focus on now is developing your relationship with Jesus (marriage exists for the spouses to get to heaven more easily together than apart) and in evaluating your relationship with your boyfriend. Are you both committed to working for the other’s genuine good (which includes being chaste and growing in holiness)? To make the necessary sacrifices for this to happen? Are you personally able to continue in this relationship if you are worried about his having been involved with another to the extent that it’s really destructive in your relationship with him? You know, women are much more emotionally attached to those they have sexual relations with. This is partially due to certain hormones that are released. Men, as a general rule, don’t. It’s more of a physical thing, and they are able to detach themselves a lot more easily. Thus, if your boyfriend slipped once, his heart is probably not with her, whoever she is. I’m not saying that anyone should condone sin, I’m simply saying that you have the choice of moving on in your relationship with your boyfriend and accepting that you/he are weak human beings in need of God’s grace like the rest of us, or you may opt to wait for a virgin husband or perhaps consider consecrated life in most of its forms other than consecrated virginity.
I guess the bottom line is be what you are, a cherished daughter of God. Once forgiven, do as Magdalene did and cling close to Christ. I think it was the Little Flower that said that Magdalene didn’t stop to think whether she was worthy or not… she followed her Love and acted as His cherished friend. He didn’t condemn her for her former lifestyle, she was a close friend. She didn’t hold back thinking of her past… she was forgiven and that was the end of that! We do ourselves a disservice by dwelling on our past sins and faults and the past sins and faults of others. We simply need to beg forgiveness and then logically work out what needs to be done. If someone’s past disturbs us, we need to examine it, find a reasonable response, and follow it.
God bless you, my sister in Christ!