Sudden bursts of anger and aggression. Help!

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Depending on your age, it could be caused by hormones.

Got to say that I agree with the previous poster about the consequences of lashing out at the wrong person… that could be very damaging.

Edit: Anger and Mental Health: Find Help Guide << just had a quick browse through it… obviously quite briefly, but it seems to be offering helpful ideas
 
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I don’t have friends. I was bullied as a child by friends, and since then it’s left a bitter taste in my mouth. I have acquaintances, but I’ve done my level best to avoid most friendships.

I have tried exercising, but it never releases endorphins or me. Just puts me in a fouler mood. Besides, I find exercising extremely boring. Despise it.

In any case, I do have a problem.
 
I don’t want to be told to pray by my mother because that’s the only only advice she gives me. I do pray, but it seems to me that that’s a cop-out. People do have wise words to offer, beyond telling someone to pray.

Yes, praying is a good medicine, but even saints like Frances of Sale or Thomas Kempis (not a saint) offered more extended advice.
 
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I’ll be honest based on my experience with a family member who has an affect disorder (ie, mental illness). Based on your replies, therapy probably really is your best bet. You asked for help in the title of your thread. That is the place where you need to seek it. With a mental health professional, not on an online forum
 
Also, you have no way of knowing what exactly I’m angry about.

Again, you’re assuming a lot without having any of the context. I figured out some of it, but I really want to get at the root of it.
 
I agree with everyone else who has encouraged you to try therapy again. Perhaps your last therapist was not a good fit for you, perhaps they recommended techniques that you didn’t find helpful. It’s worth trying again with someone new. And you don’t necessarily have to wait until lockdown is over, many therapists offer skype sessions or counseling over the phone.
Salve995 said:
Here’s the thing: after I am done lashing out at them, I feel extremely guilty, like the worst of humans, but then a sense of relief of comes over me. It’s almost as if lashing out releases chemicals that are built up during feelings of distress.
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I think this is interesting. I believe lashing out does release your feelings of stress, and this makes you feel better - it’s a normal reaction. Like crying when you’re sad gets rid of some of the sadness. It makes sense that you would feel relieved to get rid of your anger, even though you know the way in which you do it is damaging, for all parties.

I suspect the relief you feel partly comes from ‘being heard’ - perhaps you get so frustrated because you feel like you are ignored until you lash out, and get recognition for how you’re feeling. This is just me speculating, so feel free to disagree. But maybe you’re stuck in this self-perpetuating cycle of feeling ignored, getting frustrated, lashing out etc. So one way to improve your anger could be by working on communication with your parents and others. A good therapist will be able to help you with this.

Again, feel free to disagree. This is just how I’m reading what you’ve written.
 
Huh, great observation, and one I didn’t consider before:
Lou2U said:
perhaps you get so frustrated because you feel like you are ignored until you lash out, and get recognition for how you’re feeling.
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You might be right, actually. I am not sure when I lost the ability to “use my words.” Or maybe I never even learned it.
 
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You didn’t read well. I don’t lash out at just anybody. I said I lash out at my parents and a couple of other people, particularly one person. I lash out at people I feel comfortable with.

But, yeah, this comment of yours isn’t so bad. I still want to look for the whys because it might shed light on other behavior and even help me figure out a way to rectify it.

I am naturally inquisitive about the whys and hows.

Also, I find it condescending that you think I don’t know who Oliver Wendell Holmes is. No need to say he was famous or a judge because WE KNOW. He was a famous Supreme Court justice, and one would expect Americans to know of him.
 
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But you also have to understand that 1) you really don’t have all the context and 2) people react differently to some things.

You’re tougher than I am? Good for you.

You can handle things better? Good for you. Not everyone can be you, and I have tried a lot of the suggestions here, and there’s always some kind of a relapse, so there’s something that’s clearly failing.
 
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VonDerTann said:
criminal courts and the family courts are filled with those who “only lash out at those they’re comfortable with.”
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Why are you assuming I’ll end up in jail? Seriously. You’re in a Catholic forum.
 
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So I haven’t learned to cope with stress very well, and it’s becoming manifest in an awful way. Telling me to get over it is annoying (and it’s what I used to tell myself), because then it makes me think I shouldn’t be feeling anything. I am not a Stoic.

I am stressed about some things, and I get angry. I haven’t learned to control it, and the more stress I get, the less rationally I think.
 
Again, who are you and why are you being so preachy?

I am not being dismissive of prayer which tells me you haven’t been reading well or you’re just not great at reading personalities. I said I don’t like it when some people’s only advice is to pray and nothing else because that just seems like a cop-out.

You called me a jerk. So why don’t you apologize to me first? You’ve been insinuating I’ll somehow end up breaking the law with no evidence whatsoever except for a thread. Know who also break the law? People who don’t acknowledge they have a problem. I am acknowledging my problem, and seeking ways to remedy it. And I lash out – I don’t physically hurt people, and don’t have the urge to. That’s a big difference.

I don’t need to apologize to you because you’re no one to me. I don’t know you, and your comments do come across as prickish, just as mine do, I’m sure. So, no.

You’re a person online. Someone I won’t ever meet. You’re as important to me as a computer bot.
 
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A few ideas :
  • anger is an energy. Sometimes, physically releasing that energy when you feel the inner pressure building up can help you avoid lashing at people (lacerating magazines, having a go at a punching ball,…) When you are able to go tot therapy, a good therapist can be able to help you redirect all that misspent energy into projects. Such an enormous amount of such a strong energy can sometimes move mountains, if used rightly.
  • anger is an emotion which is often a reaction to a perceived threat to one’s integrity – be it physical, mental, or spiritual – or to one’s core values. Therapy would help you investigate that, but while you wait for the right moment for that, it’s still worth reflecting about : what threat(s) are you reacting so strongly about ?
I’d like to say, with caution, that from what you write you do not sound like a very happy young person. I’m sorry, and I will be praying for you.
 
No, I don’t feel happy. I am dealing with the stress and exhaustion of anger.

And VonDerTann has ruined this thread which is full of useful advice. So that annoys me.
 
I hope that is not the point at which you stopped reading my post 😉
 
No, I just keep thinking of you as a really annoying computer bot.

Reported and ignored.
 
I guess you weren’t really gone.

Reported…what? That you called me a “p****?”
 
It’s my thread. So at this point I suspect you’re trolling.
 
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