Sudden bursts of anger and aggression. Help!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Salve995
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Your thread doesn’t give you license to call people the names you have.

Fool. Redneck. Dense.

P***K.

Those are the names you called me.
 
And you can’t seem to get over them. So, you may have bigger problems than I do.

Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.
 
Last edited:
sudy said:
I didn’t take that meaning from what she wrote… rather that you could possibly find some anger management resources online or in a book to help you to control the anger until you can find somebody to guide you through it once this coronavirus isolation is over.
Click to expand...
This is exactly what I meant.

OP, I don’t have any specific titles right this minute, but they are not all new-agey.
 
@Vondertann,

As someone who has struggled at times with anxiety and depression, and who has assisted those who do through my pastoral ministry, I can tell you that your approach is very much not helpful. You give the impression of trying to provoke the OP, who is now lashing out, as one might expect from someone experiencing anger issues. Please stop right now. You are not helping. The OP did not benefit from your initial contribution, and you seem to have taken it personally and continue to attack. While she has not responded in the most charitable manner, I can’t altogether blame her.

@Salve995: I would advise you to listen to the others posting here, who have given you better advice and who have shown you a great deal more support. If someone is being aggressively unhelpful, it will be better for your mental peace to place them on ignore and to actually get the support you came here to find.

You are in my prayers.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Last edited:
Thank you, Father.

I am considering their advice, but, because this is a fair new account, I don’t have the option to ignore or report users just yet.
 
Fair enough. I have a few Catholic books, and, of course, there’s the Bible.
 
Well, one thing that would be helpful for you to learn to do is to not engage with people that are setting you off. Let it go. You don’t need to show up for every fight you are invited to. You can’t control other people, but you can control yourself.
 
Hello Salve,

People can often feel more slighted when they are isolated. I find receiving forgiveness can help with feelings of feeling slighted, it allows us to go on in an unforgiving world and put our sins in perspective. Going to confession is better than praying to god, because we have someone to act in the person of Christ. If you don’t go to confession I recommend it aswell as praying to God.

Being social helps too, we live in isolated times. When things improve with Covid I recommend getting social and taking risks and the eventual knockbacks. If you look there are social clubs. Isolation has been proven to increase feelings of stress in people.

If you have trouble getting social, the doctor recommendation is a good one, or at least its worth doing research to find out if there is services for isolated people. Its important to be heard.

Cheers
 
You may appreciate the theory presented in one of the books which helped popularize the self-help movement, “I’m OK You’re OK”. Basically it says that in all interactions we “come on” as either “parent”, “adult” or “child”, with circumstances affecting which role we assume in various interactions. The goal is to consistently have adult-to-adult interactions, even if the other person is not engaging that way. I think it helps make interacting with others more peaceful, even when their attitude may be wrong in some way.
 
You’re acting as though you want to be disliked. Do you really want your parents to dislike you? I don’t know, it’s a possibility. There are some people who want their parents to dislike them.
 
Last edited:
I’m offering help. You don’t have to accept it if you don’t want it.
 
Injustice happens, and often we don’t get the justice we would like. Often there are real reasons to feel angry at injustice. But -

The person who angers you controls you.

It is like they have a remote control that can make you feel things and do things that you do not want to do. You may not have seen them for years, they might be miles away; but they have the power to make you feel miserable. You give them the power to make people around you feel miserable.

The only person who should control what goes on in your head is you. There are ways to get control back.
 
Salve995 said:
What help? Telling me I want to be disliked?
Click to expand...
If such a statement is true (that you dont want to be liked) and if one is blind to that (ie lacks self-knowledge of such truth), then yes, that is called fraternal correction and is a spiritual work of mercy. Yes, that is helping someone
 
Thank you, @AngelaMarie. The truth is, of course, that I didn’t “tell” @Salve995 that she wants to be disliked. I suggested that as a possibility, bearing in mind that in the real world there are people who want to be disliked. I can easily remember at least two people I have known who were like that, though they were both men, not women. In her OP she seemed to be seeking help, and the help I was offering was to suggest she might make an effort to find out what it is that motivates her to act as she does.
 
Last edited:
Fair enough.

I have considered a similar point before – maybe it’s not so much that I want to make myself disliked; it’s that maybe I don’t want to appear too weak. So if I dominate, others will back off. Though there are no real threats, just the ones I imagine.
 
Last edited:
Salve995 said:
I don’t want to appear to weak.
Click to expand...
The solution you appear to be going for is that you win, so they have to loose.

There is another solution - search for a way that No one looses. In other words, search for a solution that is fair for everyone.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top