M
MGEISING
Guest
**God bless you and your husband and thank you for the prayers … we are going to be needing them as the holidays at our Shear Bliss Farm … shall be less than Blissful
Loving you from NH, MOe**
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Loving you from NH, MOe**
M
MGEISING
Guest
**Hi Nana3 … I know … I have always been emotional during the Eucharists … it is worse now - but our faith tells us that we are one with those who have gone before us during this most holy sacrament.
Thank you for sharing your prayers with us.
Love MOe**
M
MGEISING
Guest
**Thank you St. Lucy - so very much. Prayers are desperately needed as we head straight into the holidays - with Halloween being one of McKayla’s favorite.
OUr parish will have a Mass on N0v 2 - all Souls Day … it is suppose to be a beautiful Mass … and i am sure a very emotional one …
Love MOe**
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havemercy
Guest
My thoughts and prayers are still very much with you. I shall pray for your daughter as well. Your family has a beautiful little patron saint in heaven. 
I am currently organizing a Missa Cantata/Missa Solemnis here in Montreal. As head organizer, I’m going to make it so that she is remembered in the prayers of all who attend (Dec. 8th). I give you my word.
Much love,
Tony
I am currently organizing a Missa Cantata/Missa Solemnis here in Montreal. As head organizer, I’m going to make it so that she is remembered in the prayers of all who attend (Dec. 8th). I give you my word.
Much love,
Tony
M
MGEISING
Guest
**Tony - I am humbled by your gracious offer - thank you … I wish we could be there.My thoughts and prayers are still very much with you. I shall pray for your daughter as well. Your family has a beautiful little patron saint in heaven.
I am currently organizing a Missa Cantata/Missa Solemnis here in Montreal. As head organizer, I’m going to make it so that she is remembered in the prayers of all who attend (Dec. 8th). I give you my word.
Much love,
Tony
Masses that are said for McKayla - gives my husband joy - he loves hearing her name.
Yes - we do have a patron saint in heaven and her sister Amanda will be confirmed next year and will take McKayla’s name as her confirmation name … so beautiful isn’t it?
God blessings Tony - and thank you again for the offer on Dec 8 … Love McKayla’s Mom **
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catholic79
Guest
Moe,
I am praying for you and your family. I have been away from the forums for awhile and just heard your story. My little brother was killed on February 19th, 2003 and I still think about him all the time. I have watched my mom over the past 4 years and read in your posts things I have heard her say. You are strong you are very strong, you have written the most beautiful things on this forum and the memorial site. You have your BB message from her how wonderful. I had a voice mail from my brother that I had saved that I made a copy of for my mom. It was from the day he died, talk about guilt in the message said he would be home until about 6 and then he was going out. I got the message at 5:57 and decided not to call him back. We would just talk later I thought, after all he was on his way out and I had just gotten home from work, you never know when later wont come. .
You will be happy again. It will almost surprise you when it happens (at least it did me) and then I felt horribly guilty, how can I enjoy life when my other siblings or my parents were still so sad. It took along time for all of us to talk with each other about our good days. You are so honest with all of us on the forums and explain how you feel so well, when people would ask me I would just say okay which usually meant anything but okay. Stay honest its okay to feel however you are feeling.
The holidays are always hard. I will be thinking about you this Halloween. Our 1st Christmas with out my brother my grandmother asked us not to come to the holiday party because if we were going to still be sad and looking for attention then we didn’t need to be there and bring everyone down. (nice huh!) My parents got us all ornaments “from” him that year and my youngest brother (5 at the time) really thought they were from Chris and he was so sad that he brought presents but didn’t talk to him. If you decided to do anything like that be careful, what was supposed to be a nice thing was very confusing to a 5 year old.
We’ve cried though a thanksgiving meal, walked out of mass with my mom on Mothers Day, and had ice cream on Easter. You will find ways to make it through these days.
I am sorry that you haven’t had the dream you long for.
Peace,
Mary
I am praying for you and your family. I have been away from the forums for awhile and just heard your story. My little brother was killed on February 19th, 2003 and I still think about him all the time. I have watched my mom over the past 4 years and read in your posts things I have heard her say. You are strong you are very strong, you have written the most beautiful things on this forum and the memorial site. You have your BB message from her how wonderful. I had a voice mail from my brother that I had saved that I made a copy of for my mom. It was from the day he died, talk about guilt in the message said he would be home until about 6 and then he was going out. I got the message at 5:57 and decided not to call him back. We would just talk later I thought, after all he was on his way out and I had just gotten home from work, you never know when later wont come.
.You will be happy again. It will almost surprise you when it happens (at least it did me) and then I felt horribly guilty, how can I enjoy life when my other siblings or my parents were still so sad. It took along time for all of us to talk with each other about our good days. You are so honest with all of us on the forums and explain how you feel so well, when people would ask me I would just say okay which usually meant anything but okay. Stay honest its okay to feel however you are feeling.
The holidays are always hard. I will be thinking about you this Halloween. Our 1st Christmas with out my brother my grandmother asked us not to come to the holiday party because if we were going to still be sad and looking for attention then we didn’t need to be there and bring everyone down. (nice huh!) My parents got us all ornaments “from” him that year and my youngest brother (5 at the time) really thought they were from Chris and he was so sad that he brought presents but didn’t talk to him. If you decided to do anything like that be careful, what was supposed to be a nice thing was very confusing to a 5 year old.
We’ve cried though a thanksgiving meal, walked out of mass with my mom on Mothers Day, and had ice cream on Easter. You will find ways to make it through these days.
I am sorry that you haven’t had the dream you long for.
Peace,
Mary
M
MGEISING
Guest
Moe,
Hi Mary:
I am praying for you and your family. I have been away from the forums for awhile and just heard your story.
Thank you Mary - I am glad you are back. Prayers are sustaining us at this present time …
My little brother was killed on February 19th, 2003 and I still think about him all the time.
I am so sorry - how tragic for you as well … I am so sorry …
I have watched my mom over the past 4 years and read in your posts things I have heard her say. You are strong you are very strong, you have written the most beautiful things on this forum and the memorial site. You have your BB message from her how wonderful. I had a voice mail from my brother that I had saved that I made a copy of for my mom. It was from the day he died, talk about guilt in the message said he would be home until about 6 and then he was going out. I got the message at 5:57 and decided not to call him back. We would just talk later I thought, after all he was on his way out and I had just gotten home from work, you never know when later wont come.
I know – but you didn’t know … you just didn’t … and nothing changes that - hind sight for all of us
You will be happy again. It will almost surprise you when it happens (at least it did me) and then I felt horribly guilty, how can I enjoy life when my other siblings or my parents were still so sad. It took along time for all of us to talk with each other about our good days. You are so honest with all of us on the forums and explain how you feel so well, when people would ask me I would just say okay which usually meant anything but okay. Stay honest its okay to feel however you are feeling.
I can’t pretend Mary … I am so desperately sad and ache for her … I can’t say I am OK. I will HOPE for that day - but right now it is too fresh and I miss my baby. My perfect baby girl. I miss everything - and I mean everything about her …
The holidays are always hard. I will be thinking about you this Halloween.
Oh thank you … it will be one of the most difficult ‘firsts’ for us.
Our 1st Christmas with out my brother my grandmother asked us not to come to the holiday party because if we were going to still be sad and looking for attention then we didn’t need to be there and bring everyone down. (nice huh!)
I hope you prayed for them when they said that … I have some of that with family members - they judge me on how I am grieving … but I dont’ care. None of them have walked in my shoes … none of them have lost their child - sure their grand-child - but it wasn’t their child. I pray for them as well … I ache for my McKayla and I don’t care who knows about it. I am not moving on … as I have heard close family members preach to me … I can barely breathe never mind moving on … People can be so sensitive … I thank God for the people who just want to be there to help … those are the people I surround myself with … do you know what I mean?
My parents got us all ornaments “from” him that year and my youngest brother (5 at the time) really thought they were from Chris and he was so sad that he brought presents but didn’t talk to him. If you decided to do anything like that be careful, what was supposed to be a nice thing was very confusing to a 5 year old.
**Yes, I am not sure what I am going to do - right now we aren’t celebrating Christmas - at least today we aren’t … but we are still taking it one day at a time … sometimes one hour at a time.
How are your folks doing now … I know it is still hard for you all …**
We’ve cried though a thanksgiving meal, walked out of mass with my mom on Mothers Day, and had ice cream on Easter. You will find ways to make it through these days.
I hope so … I truly do - I dont’ know if I can do it without her … I miss her so much.
I am sorry that you haven’t had the dream you long for.
**Keep that in prayer would you … I just want to hug her one last time.
Thanks for sharing with me Mary and my prayers and thoughts will continue to be with you and your family as you also face the holidays.
Love Moe**
Peace,
Mary
C
catholic79
Guest
Hi Moe,
My parents are alright, I worry about them still and will forever. My mom has bad days but I think they are measured in days or weeks now and not bad months or years anymore. We had a garage sale this summer and she sold some of our old toys and things all of us had played with but she talked the whole day about how Chris used to do this or that with each item, and through out the day she kept picking things up and putting them in the house b/c she couldn’t sell them. Its hard for me to tell as I don’t live at home and didn’t at the time but from what I see and conversations we have its getting better. It was much harder for my mom then my dad at least it seamed to me that way but my poor dad had to take care of her and make sure her and my siblings were okay. My dad has told me that he was glad I had my husband to take care of me because he didn’t think he would have been able to take care of anyone else.
Yes some people are very sensitive and wonderful, and some say stupid things that they don’t really mean the way they sound, and others just don’t have a clue, and everyone in a while you find someone who is just mean! You have to do things in a time that seams right for you not what everyone else says or thinks is right for you. One of the hardest things for us was realizing that each family member would take a different amount of time to work through things and the things we had to work through were different.
Prayers many many prayers for you and your family.
Peace,
Mary
My parents are alright, I worry about them still and will forever. My mom has bad days but I think they are measured in days or weeks now and not bad months or years anymore. We had a garage sale this summer and she sold some of our old toys and things all of us had played with but she talked the whole day about how Chris used to do this or that with each item, and through out the day she kept picking things up and putting them in the house b/c she couldn’t sell them. Its hard for me to tell as I don’t live at home and didn’t at the time but from what I see and conversations we have its getting better. It was much harder for my mom then my dad at least it seamed to me that way but my poor dad had to take care of her and make sure her and my siblings were okay. My dad has told me that he was glad I had my husband to take care of me because he didn’t think he would have been able to take care of anyone else.
Yes some people are very sensitive and wonderful, and some say stupid things that they don’t really mean the way they sound, and others just don’t have a clue, and everyone in a while you find someone who is just mean! You have to do things in a time that seams right for you not what everyone else says or thinks is right for you. One of the hardest things for us was realizing that each family member would take a different amount of time to work through things and the things we had to work through were different.
Prayers many many prayers for you and your family.
Peace,
Mary
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maggieodae
Guest
That is certainly true. Almost everyone thinks they know how you feel or should feel…very few actually shut up and listen and just be there for you.
And as you said, each family member grieves differently. No one can be on the inside,looking out of each member to know where they are at in their grief process. Not to mention, all the many stages can be gone through more than once. Many people assume you ought to be past such and such stage and are not receptive to a particular feeling or down day when you revisit one. It does add to the confusion for those going through it to get all this well meant, but erroneous advice.
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vester444
Guest
HI there!
Well, I dont know if I’ve ever been called “profound” before haha! I will tell you that something always seems to come over me when I write messages to you - maybe that is really the holy spirit
You know, the quote you wrote me, is very true. We dont have a choice but to walk this path, until the end. (the alternative to take your own life is simply not an option!)
So you have to walk and now you know that the next few miles through the holidays will be a tough walk.
Is there any way you can do something different during this time? Perhaps somehow get away from it all, just for this year?
I’m not saying denial is the best, but there is also no reason to rub salt in wounds that have not healed yet. Perhaps just for this year, you could take a vacation from the “season” and just keep it more low key? Take your daughter on some sort of small trip or something so that the familiarity of it all doesnt suffocate you?
Just an idea…
Prayers are always being said…
Vester
Well, I dont know if I’ve ever been called “profound” before haha! I will tell you that something always seems to come over me when I write messages to you - maybe that is really the holy spirit
You know, the quote you wrote me, is very true. We dont have a choice but to walk this path, until the end. (the alternative to take your own life is simply not an option!)
So you have to walk and now you know that the next few miles through the holidays will be a tough walk.
Is there any way you can do something different during this time? Perhaps somehow get away from it all, just for this year?
I’m not saying denial is the best, but there is also no reason to rub salt in wounds that have not healed yet. Perhaps just for this year, you could take a vacation from the “season” and just keep it more low key? Take your daughter on some sort of small trip or something so that the familiarity of it all doesnt suffocate you?
Just an idea…
Prayers are always being said…
Vester
M
MGEISING
Guest
Hi Moe,
My parents are alright, I worry about them still and will forever. My mom has bad days but I think they are measured in days or weeks now and not bad months or years anymore. We had a garage sale this summer and she sold some of our old toys and things all of us had played with but she talked the whole day about how Chris used to do this or that with each item, and through out the day she kept picking things up and putting them in the house b/c she couldn’t sell them.
Oh -how tough. KK’s room is the same way she left it almost 8 months ago. Her bags from camp are still packed … we just don’t have the strength to do antyihng with it yet. Her Halloween Candy Bag from last year still hangs from her chair … one of her favorite Holidays - how do we even think about going on without a piece of us … I just dont’ know if I can do it.
Its hard for me to tell as I don’t live at home and didn’t at the time but from what I see and conversations we have its getting better. It was much harder for my mom then my dad at least it seamed to me that way but my poor dad had to take care of her and make sure her and my siblings were okay. My dad has told me that he was glad I had my husband to take care of me because he didn’t think he would have been able to take care of anyone else.
I lost a sister when I was like 2 months old … I had two older sisters at the time … and my dad did everything - I think my mom went off the deep bend - she was never the same and in fact - she has not been the greatest mom
Yes some people are very sensitive and wonderful, and some say stupid things that they don’t really mean the way they sound, and others just don’t have a clue, and everyone in a while you find someone who is just mean! You have to do things in a time that seams right for you not what everyone else says or thinks is right for you. One of the hardest things for us was realizing that each family member would take a different amount of time to work through things and the things we had to work through were different.
**My inlaws live with us and they have been the least compassionate (at least to me). They are Fundamental Baptists and feel - she is in heaven with God …although they miss her - they are truly tremedous grandparents … they just don’t understand the mysteries that Catholics do and look down upon it … they have not helped me in the least and in fact have been very cold in their compassion - but I forgive them and they have never lost a child so they are clueless … **
Prayers many many prayers for you and your family.
**We are heading into one of the biggest ‘1st’ … Halloween … KK loved it … the girls loved it … Amanda doesn’t want to go trick or treating … we will take her out to dinner … if we can gather the strength …
Thanks so much God’s peace!**
Peace,
Mary
M
MGEISING
Guest
**I do have people thinking I haven’t made the grade for a mom in mourning … I should be here instead of where I am … but I don’t care. I don’t care that I ball at Mass and people must look at me and say - how pathetic … I don’t care … I miss my McKayla … part of me died with her and I (we) have to try and find out how we are going to live without her as our journey continues on Earth. I am glad that she is in heaven … but I would rather have her here with us …still in my arms … I am sorry — I must look pathetic to most of you … because we know our faith tells us we are working to be in eternity with God which I believe my KK is … but I MISS HER AND WANT HER BACK…
Please CAF … keep us close in prayer as we head through this most difficult week!
Loving you,
Moe**
M
MGEISING
Guest
HI there!
Well, I dont know if I’ve ever been called “profound” before haha! I will tell you that something always seems to come over me when I write messages to you - maybe that is really the holy spirit
**And I thank HIM for that … I can’t tell you how much I prayed at Mass today for the Holy Spirit to come over my husband who is truly dealing with this ‘spiritually’ … or lack there of. I asked KK to ask God if she could come and put her arms around her dad … so he can feel her … I prayed all through Mass as I offered my Mass up for my husband who has no belief … life is so very hard for us … **
You know, the quote you wrote me, is very true. We dont have a choice but to walk this path, until the end. (the alternative to take your own life is simply not an option!)
It isn’t an option because I want to be with McKayla and of course God for eternity. There are days though that I wish he would just come and get me … but then I feel the arms of my Amanda around me and I know … I know that I am here because my times is not done … and that is reality … and the reality is we need to continue to live her (a sentence) until our time is done.
So you have to walk and now you know that the next few miles through the holidays will be a tough walk.
It will be HEART BREAK HILL … and I am dreading each and every hour of it … and I can only pray that God will give me the strength that I need to make it … because I know I alone can’t do it!
Is there any way you can do something different during this time? Perhaps somehow get away from it all, just for this year?
**I dont’ know vester …I just don’t. Christmas we have about 30 people for dinner … I don’t know what will become of us … Christmas at our farm ‘Shear Bliss Farm’ was always magical … it won’t be this year … we will be missing a piece of our very souls … **
I’m not saying denial is the best, but there is also no reason to rub salt in wounds that have not healed yet. Perhaps just for this year, you could take a vacation from the “season” and just keep it more low key? Take your daughter on some sort of small trip or something so that the familiarity of it all doesnt suffocate you?
Whatever is best for Amanda - we will let her decide … although Id on’t want to be away from our beautiful home … because I don’t think KK would want that … it is sooooooooooo very hard.
Just an idea…
Prayers are always being said…
**Many thanks and blessing to you and yours.
Love Moe**
Vester
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maggieodae
Guest
You absolutely are** not pathetic.**…don’t even think that. God knows this is something way bigger than a lost button on a coat. He understands and so do we. Your a good Mom and you miss your baby. That is normal and anyone who thinks you should just move on has obviously never walked in your shoes.
Yes, it does get better…but that can take years of mourning. It is not an instant healing. And you will never forget KK ever. She is part of you and it’s the hardest thing in all the world to lose a child.
:grouphug:
L
Lorik
Guest
Hi Moe, I was blessed with the opportunity to go to adoration tonight. I prayed for you, Greg and Amanda there.
I’m sorry you have such a tough week ahead of you. I will be praying extra for you all.
I’m sorry you have such a tough week ahead of you. I will be praying extra for you all.
C
catholic79
Guest
Moe,
Praying for you and your family today, as tomorrow gets closer I know it gets harder.
Peace,
Mary
M
MGEISING
Guest
**I think I need a ‘universe hug’ … but thank you so much … sure do appreciate you all reaching out.
Love Moe**
M
MGEISING
Guest
**Thanks and God Bless you Catholic 79 , anxiety is building … I think I need to walk again when I get home.Moe,
Praying for you and your family today, as tomorrow gets closer I know it gets harder.
Peace,
Mary
I am so tired … was up again last night - Greg and I wake up evry night at around 3:00 am … I am just so tired.
Love Moe**
M
MGEISING
Guest
**Oh - how wonderful of you to let us enter into your most Holy time. Did our Lord talk to you LoriK?
Thanks for your love and continued support through our walk into the dark days of our soul.
Love Moe**
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maggieodae
Guest
Gracious God, please comfort the sorrowful. When a loved one dies, it changes our lives so quickly. Help those who are living in grief to know your loving embrace. Teach them that the dear ones they miss are truly living in the joy and peace of your heavenly kingdom. And as the pain eases and the healing begins, give them the strength to reach out to help those who follow them. We ask this in the name of Jesus. AMEN
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