Sudden Death of Moe's 13 Year Old Daughter - Part II

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vester444 said:
Moe,

You are always in our prayers, and even more so during this very difficult time. I have heard that the first year is always the worst (not that the other years are immediately joyful or anything) but its sooooo hard because its the 1st everything…1st thanksgiving etc. So just know that while this is so difficult, it WILL pass. I promise, Thursday will come and go, and you will still be with us, and we will all still be praying for you. Just take it breath by breath, moment by moment, and dont look further than that…

Yes, it did come and go … extremely painful — but we did survive it!!! We had 27 family and friend there for us - many changing their ‘traditional’ commitments to help support us. Which was a God Send. We did survive it … even if it was by the skin of our nose … we did survive it. Although we are so lonely for her. We can’t even begin to enjoy anything … it is just so sad 😦

Have you made any plans for Thanksgiving? How is your other daughter doing?

**Amanda enjoyed all the friends and family - she just loves having people over. She is doing well. **

I was thinking the other day about you and how it must be so hard to be strong for your other daughter, but at the same time it is your other daughter that gives you so much hope and joy in this world…I hope that is the case. You must all be suffering so much together as a family.

It is like a catch-22 — do you know what I mean? I love Amanda and I need to be strong for her - but at the same time I am missing KK so much that sometimes I get caught up in that!!!

I give thanks this Thanksgiving for any moment that you may have that is not completely saturated with heartache. If that moment can happen, that is what I will be thankful for. Just one moment of rest for you and your family from this heartbreaking tragedy that still consumes your heart and soul.

**And I thank you for you … and I can’t tell you how much it meant for me to hear you message of Thanksgiving.
**

I also give thanks that you are brave enough to come here to find support and comfort - a comfort that I know that we all hope to be able to give you - but that only God can provide.

I did disappear for an hour and 1/2 during Thanksgiving because I was so truly sad and couldn’t ‘pretent’ anymore. I literally felt sick 😦 … but I did come back down … although the sadness just permeated our home 😦

You are in my thoughts everpresent Moe - even when I dont post on this board, I think of you so often.

I can’t tell you how much that means to me my friend … truly and I truly mean it!

Please private message me anytime you need to.

THANK YOU!!!

Here’s hoping to a quick week that is short lived for you so that you can move past it.

The week is almost over … and now we must face the next few weeks … with her 14 birthday coming Dec 20 … I think that shall be the hardest day of all … the most hardest to face!!! I miss her intensley!

Vester
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Loving you from NH … Moe - Amanda and McKayla’s mom!
 
sparre11 said:
Hi Moe,

**Hi “A”:

**

As Vester said, It is going to be better one day. In the meantime, I, too, think of you all the time and pray for you every day. I have been thinking about you a lot as you come to your first Thanksgiving without McKayla.

**Thank you, as well, my friend. It is so hard, and I know you know that!!! **

My mother died two years ago today–a few days before Thanksgiving. That year the holidays were so sad–as they had been when Patrick died a few weeks before Christmas, and as they were the year Dad died on December 20th.

We buried my dad 9 years ago this Christmas Eve. I thought that would be the most heart wrenching thing I ever did … how wrong could I have been???

Wow, the whole season is full of sad memories for us… The last time I saw Patrick was Thanksgiving. So I understand what you are going through.

**As I shall pray for you as well my friend … so many people, with so many crosses to bear … is this purgatory for us??? or is it hell? **

Lean on Jesus–His grace is sufficient for you. Just keep clinging to the blessed hope that we have of seeing Jesus and our loved ones again one day. I’ll give you a hug, too, when we get to Heaven. Until then, I’m praying for you extra as you go thru the next few days and weeks.

Oh how I shall love to meet you my friend. You, as well as many on CAF, have been so faithful to me and my families tremendous loss. I can’t ever thank you enough … so it will be an awesome sight to see you - when our journey is done.

The new pages on the memorial are wonderful. You are so faithful to keep up her place.

It is therapy for me 😦

I went to see Patrick’s a couple of days ago. There is a black granite bench–it was filthy. I was so mad. They have cleaned it before but this time they said I had to clean it. I don’t know how I’m going to do that. But you have inspired me.

KK is only two minutes away from us … so I visit her two, sometimes three times a day … so it isn’t because I am a saint or anything … she is close by and most mom’s need a cup of coffee to help them start their day - I need a dose of my McKayla … even if she isn’t there … the body I gave birth to is … even when it is ashes … so it means so much to me … I am pathetic … I know … Just missing my baby girl 😦

**Love to you as well Alison … I hope that you FINALLY has a peaceful Thanksgiving … in your newly renovated home! … Give Suede a hug for me … Loving you,

Moe**

Love,
Alison
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masondoggy said:
Thinking of you and your family this Thanksgiving day, Moe. I know you must be feeling sad and empty today, but I hope and pray Jesus will give your family some of His peace today.

Hang in there. There will one day be happy celebrations in Heaven. This is only temporary.
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**I look to the heavens for that my friend. I hope you are well and holding your own?

I hope you had a peaceful Thanksgiving as well.

Love you,

Moe**
 
rayne89 said:
Praying for you and your family.:gopray:
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I love your signature … I must admist that I have reflected on it from time to time during this turmulterous 8 months …

Thank you so much for the prayers rayne89 … God Bless you and Thank you for reaching out to a very very sad Mom … missing her daugher.

Love Moe
 
Nordar said:
Hi Moe,
You are in my prayers EVERY day I never forget you, I was thinking and praying for you today!

Love you.
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**YOU ARE AMAZING … thank you my little prayer warrior.

I give thanks for peope like you who have stepped out of their daily lives to give support to a very sad mom …

May God Bless You and your family my CAF friend! Love and Huggles … Moe**
 
Lorik said:
Just wanted to say hi. You’ve been on my mind a lot, especially this week. I wish everyday didn’t have to be so hard but God’s going to make everything right again. He keeps his promises.
Lots of love and prayers headed your way.
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**Thanks Lorik … my faithful prayer.

We have no energy or happiness for anything, I pray that this shall pass … Greg wants no decorations … at all … and I am struggling with that … KK loved Christmas and I don’t think we should ignore it… but I keep silent and I keep it all in prayer … please pray for us!

Loving you more than you could know.

Moe**
 
vester444 said:
Moe,

Just wanted you to know that the last few days I couldnt get to a computer, but I have been praying for you. Let us know how you are doing…we are all here for you.

Vester
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**Sorry Vester it took me so long … just haven’t been feeling like talking … haven’t even gotten on line to be honest with you … just feeling like I don’t want tomorrow to come … but it must come … for Greg and Amanda’s sake.

Greg and I are just going through the motions … and just trying to survive each day … it is so hard and I feel so sad and frustrated …

Anyway, thanks for reaching out …I am amazed at how many loving people are here who have reached out to me … in my hour of need … truly has been a God Send.

Loving you and I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Love Moe**
 
Even though I have no idea of your pain. I can say that you should be happy that you will be reunited with her soon.
 
I know I haven’t posted much here, but I pray for you and yours, often Moe.
 
You were in our Thanksgiving prayers this week - I thought of you often throughout the day, and prayed the day was as good as it could be for you.

God Bless,
~Liza
 
lizaanne said:
You were in our Thanksgiving prayers this week - I thought of you often throughout the day, and prayed the day was as good as it could be for you.

God Bless,
~Liza
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**Thank you my friend. At one point during the day I had to go upstairs and lie down … the pain was so great.

Thank you for the prayers. Everything is so sad … and it is sad to think we shall never be the same again.

Love Moe**
 
MGEISING said:
**Thank you my friend. At one point during the day I had to go upstairs and lie down … the pain was so great.

Thank you for the prayers. Everything is so sad … and it is sad to think we shall never be the same again.

Love Moe**
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HUGS Moe! We had a rough TG too…so I know what you mean. Anniversary of my dh’s collapse at TG 2 years ago and his death 3 weeks later before Christmas, plus our first without Chris.

Praying for you and yours.
 
maggieodae said:
HUGS Moe! We had a rough TG too…so I know what you mean. Anniversary of my dh’s collapse at TG 2 years ago and his death 3 weeks later before Christmas, plus our first without Chris.

Praying for you and yours.
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**I haven’t stopped crying since last week. Why, maggiedae, are we asked to handle so much? I don’t know if I am strong enough … **
 
Moe,

Just dont even try to think about stopping crying. That will come in good time I think.

Does your daughter give you any words of wisdom? I have found that oftentimes adults run around trying to find all these complicated answers to problems and children often have the best answers of all 🙂 They are so innocent and sweet and honest.

I just want you to know that I think of you so often, I cant say that enough. Honestly. Your agony is so tangible and real, and if I can offer you a moment of peace from it, then that is my hope.

I know that if it were me, they would have to give me some pills and lock me in a room, because my heart would collapse. You know, I have heard that some people actually die from a broken heart - there is somethign that happens to the heart that the medical communtiy doesnt understand yet, but the good news is that it heals as soon as people feel better. Its a crazy thing I saw on a science channel.

You have lost so much. But you still have work to do here. You have another daughter and a husband and God wants you here to do whatever you are supposed to do.

You are going through the same pain that Mary went through. Its the worst pain in the world. I hope that we all bring you some comfort during this time, knowing you are NOT alone, and we are with you.

With all of my love,
Vester
 
Dearest Moe,
You are going through probably the most painful time of the year now with holidays coming up. My advice would be to go ahead and celebrate Christmas in a subdued way. You must, for Amanda’s sake, and for your own return to normalcy, although normal for you will never be the same.
I pray for you often and for your family. I am holding you up to the Lord.
Love,
Lissa
 
Dearest Moe: I have been thinking about you lately and wanted to say sorry I haven’t been around. I have been in a slump lately, but I am back. I am praying for you.

Hugs, Lori
 
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