Tell an outrageous lie about the previous poster REVIVED

  • Thread starter Thread starter Hawkmaid7
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F_Marturana is hard at work on two new word types: subtractverbs and amateurnouns.
 
Amateur-nouns will be similar to pronouns.

Mike_from_nj is currently searching the dictionary to help me find some terms to reclassify.
 
My bro @fbl9 is gonna be the voice of Mike Wazowski in the new Monsters Inc. 👁️
 
lagerald hired both Paul Sr. and Paul Jr. to build a Monster Inc themed moped . Hopefully they will have it ready for lagerald’s prom.
 
THE LEGEND IS BACK! I haven’t really had the time to re-read everything but we’re just gonna say our Yeti friend is excited for Christmas, because it and Halloween are the only times he can wander out and pretend to be dressed in seasonal costume.
 
Hawkmaid7 recently installed twin turbines on her freshly restored red bicycle. Due to two slight errors on Hawkmaid`s part, namely she did not install an off switch or fuel control (throttle), Hawkmaid is now wanted in several states on several charges. Evading arrest, reckless endangerment of police and public, assaulting police officers (well not on purpose the donuts just flew out of the basket). The list goes on.
 
Merry Christmas!!!

[That bicycle sounds familiar…does it still have the training wheels?]

fbl9…aka Fabled Bearded Legend…aka ‘The Legend’ is an 8-foot-tall, 450-lb sasquatch with superhuman capabilities…he also has a real soft spot for children, especially around Christmas.
This year, he rented a Santa suit , packed a couple bags with toys and other assorted goodies, and paid a visit to the local orphanage…
After handing out all the gifts, he set the table for a Christmas feast that none of those children will ever forget [try though they will…]. There were a dozen large turkeys, complete with chestnut stuffing, 80 lbs of mashed potatoes, five gallons of giblet gravy, 10 bowls of cranberry sauce, 30 lbs of sweet potatoes, 8 bowls of green bean casserole, umpteen gallons of eggnog, and 15 pumpkin pies…
The 35 youngsters ate…and ate…and ate…finally stopping when nobody could eat any more, and they’d barely made a dent in all that bounty. ‘The Legend’ looked at them, a little disappointed, and said “You can’t let food go to waste.” He ate everything in sight as they all watched in horror/amazement, consuming it all in just seven minutes…last was the eggnog…he chugged the entire bowl, then stepped outside and cut loose with a belch that caused an avalanche on the slopes two miles away…
The stunned youngsters laughed and applauded for so long that the now embarrassed ‘Legend’ could only manage a weak “Merry Christmas!!” as he left for his cave on the other side of the valley.
 
ZMystiCat, aka ‘The Human Wrecking Ball’ after putting on so much weight on the ‘anti-diet’, has gained even more during the holidays, and finally found a way to put it to good use…ZMystiCat works for the Fire Service…rolling through the woods…knocking down trees…creating firebreaks to stop forest fires. The pay is pretty good, and ZMystiCat has seen [and destroyed] some beautiful scenery…
 
For Christmas Boldlygo found a special on left over chocolate bunnies from Easter. He opened them all up, pulled off the ears, flipped them upside down so they could resemble a Santa beard, and scotch taped them back on the bunnies.

He handed them out at Christmas as gifts to all his neighbors.
 
F_Marturana and her pet chihuahua, Tex, went to a local dog show…she saw Tex look longingly at a Great Dane, and concluded that Tex wanted to be a big dog, so, on the way home, she stopped at the local pet store, and bought a large bag of ‘Large Breed Puppy Food’, reasoning [?] that this is the stuff that makes small puppies into large dogs…she fed him four times per day, following the instructions on the bag, and waited for the results…
Long story short, Tex now looks like a knockwurst with short legs, and F_Marturana has to wheel him around the neighborhood on a skateboard…
 
Boldlygo told me about his own experiences with pet food. He thought it would be fun to feed his cat as if it were a lion. It would grow to the size of a lion, but stay tame and docile. He could then convince everyone he was a lion tamer!

But, when researching “lion diet” he learned that lions eat wildebeest. His local supermarket didn’t carry any wildebeest meat. So he bought some meow mix, and tried to figure out how to get to the Serengeti for the wildebeest migration.
 
While Boldlygo and lagerald76 where out getting supplies (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) for Boldlygo;s upcoming trip. F Marturana replaced boldlygos cat with a lion, which fm stole from the zoo
 
fbl9 has just been drafted into the NFL due to an error in the system. He’ll be the starting quarterback for the Saints, 'cause (Please Note: This uploaded content is no longer available.) needs a rest.
 
Lagerald24 picked his user name because he has 24 pet bunnies.

Or had.

Now he has 104 pet bunnies.

Oh no, now he has 300 pet bunnies!!!

🐰 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰
 
DarkLight considered helping, but after remembering the Christmas party incident of 2015 decided that it was best for everyone that she stay as far away from bunnies as possible.
 
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ZMystiCat has been awarded a medal for heroic action, and the local mayor is anxious to present the award…these are the details…
ZMystiCat, aka ‘The Human Wrecking Ball’, observed a bank robbery in progress at the bank at the bottom of the hill…waited until the robbers had jumped into the getaway car, and then rolled down the hill, crushing the getaway car, and pinning the robbers inside…passersby cheered, and the fire department was called…they used the Jaws of Life to rescue the would-be robbers from the crushed vehicle, and the police hauled them away, dazed and confused…
The only problem was that ZMystiCat kept rolling…and rolling…and rolling…out of town…down the highway…into the desert…and hasn’t been seen since…
 
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