The Duggars Respond to Reports That Josh Duggar Was Accused of Child Molestation

[zaffiroborant]

I’ve read the reactions of this board and several other boards.
This was a child who did this. It was wrong, and I have no doubt that his parents dealt with him and this issue. We have no idea what kind of counseling or if there was counseling to anyone, the girls or Josh. And honestly, it’s none of our business.
They were all children 14 or less of age. 13, 14, 15 year old boys are very interesting creatures, one minute they do something so incredibly stupid and the next they do some thing wise beyond their years.
How many of you would honestly pick up the phone and call the police and have them come and arrest your child and question your child and have your entire family put into the system?

I meant to respond to that part of your comment in my previous post but got distracted. I would absolutely and without hesitation pick up the phone, call the police and have them come and arrest my child if they ever did something like this. To do otherwise would be irresponsible and criminally unfair to the children who were victimized.

Tough call throw the child you love out alone in the world, perhaps to be eaten by the wolves or keep him home possibly to continue feasting on the children in your home. Me I’d get him out of the house now one way or another and work on his troubles, and his siblings troubles, later.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

Tough call throw the child you love out alone in the world, perhaps to be eaten by the wolves or keep him home possibly to continue feasting on the children in your home. Me I’d get him out of the house now one way or another and work on his troubles, and his siblings troubles, later.

How do you figure that would work? I’m assuming that by “working on his troubles” you mean, “get them into counseling.” At least I’m hoping you mean that you’d take the responsible route and have them start seeing a licensed therapist as opposed to, “send them to a friend who needs help doing some remodeling work.” So now you’ve covered up a crime for a time but now you have your kids in counseling and they mention the abuse. The counselor is legally required to report the abuse to the authorities at which point you get investigated for the abuse that occurred in your home and the fact that you covered it up instead of reporting it. I’m guessing that’s an aspect you didn’t consider.

 

[CatholicSheila]

Being unaware of a crime makes it ok? So, if someone were to come up behind someone, break their neck, killing them instantly, this person shouldn’t be in trouble? You know, because the victim didn’t know it was coming or even felt anything.

It is ludicrous that people don’t see molesting siblings, multiple times, as a major problem.

Where did I say what Josh did is Ok?

I said that been aware might be one reason why the girls weren’t traumatized by been in the same house with Josh. I highlight might because I am just speculating - I don’t know if women who find out they’ve been sexually molested react differently to those who actually remember it.

I did say what Josh did is different to a man raping a woman at knife point. That isn’t the same as saying “what Josh did is ok”. They’ve not even remotely the same sentence.

 

[ToeInTheWater]

You’re right that teenage boys can be incredibly stupid. They have more hormones than brains. That doesn’t mean they don’t know right from wrong or that they can’t control their own impulses. When I was that age I had a close female friend who, despite my best efforts to the contrary, got my hormones going just about every time I looked at her. There were numerous occasions where she fell asleep on my couch, others where we fell asleep on the couch together, etc. Not once did I consider “copping a feel” or doing anything inappropriate. Why? Because it was clearly and obviously wrong.

Thank you very much for speaking out against the “boys will be boys” excuse that so many posters have made here. Although I am female, I also find this to be really insulting to teenage boys in general, to try to absolve Josh by framing is behavior as normal “stupid” teenage boy behavior.

Unfortunately, I have noticed this undercurrent among some conservative Christians of “God meant for boys/men to be sexually aggressive, and it’s unfair to expect boys/men to go against their natures. God meant for women/girls to be the sexual gatekeepers.”

I think many Muslims hold such beliefs as well. I have seen Muslim posters even on CAF defend polygamy by stating that men were made to have multiple sexual partners, and that polygamy is superior to adultery because “if a man can’t take a second wife, he will take a mistress, and a man has obligations to a wife that he doesn’t have to a mistress”.

As I have tried to point out before, I think the people who are trying to excuse away Josh’s actions and comparing them to minor crimes such as vandalism, or even non-criminal activity such as getting drunk, are really minimizing the damage this kind of behavior does to the human victims. They also seem to be blithely assuming that, just based on what they see on a heavily edited TV show, that Josh’s actions had no ill effect on his victims.

Whenever I read a variant of “the victims have moved on, why can’t you”, I feel like screaming “HOW DO YOU KNOW THEY MOVED ON? DID THEY TELL YOU?” The sad thing is that considering the approach to sexuality the Duggars seem to believe, that sex is primarily for the benefit of the male, and of course sex is much more important to men than women, that even if these experiences result in sexual dysfunction for some of the girls, they might not even know that is not normal.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

You said this:

The girls weren’t even aware it had happened until they were told. It was Josh who bought it all to light by admitting it to his parents. .

Which made me say this:

Being unaware of a crime makes it ok? So, if someone were to come up behind someone, break their neck, killing them instantly, this person shouldn’t be in trouble? You know, because the victim didn’t know it was coming or even felt anything.

It is ludicrous that people don’t see molesting siblings, multiple times, as a major problem.

Because it is very similar. The victims of both crimes didn’t know. So all is well.

Where did I say what Josh did is Ok?

I said that been aware might be one reason why the girls weren’t traumatized by been in the same house with Josh. I highlight might because I am just speculating - I don’t know if women who find out they’ve been sexually molested react differently to those who actually remember it.

I did say what Josh did is different to a man raping a woman at knife point. That isn’t the same as saying “what Josh did is ok”. They’ve not even remotely the same sentence.

My point is that it doesn’t matter if the victims know or not. Bringing it up makes it seem as though it minimizes the crime.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I know I won’t be referring anyone to this site for help anytime soon for spiritual or emotional needs.

.

Yeah, because your advice of “taking up your cross and be humble,” to a sexual abuse victime is GREAT advice. You should totally be a counselor. You know just what to say.

 

[stinkcat_14]

Apparently no place for forgiveness either.

He’s now 27. The question is whether he’s repented, sought forgiveness, and made restitution. It sounds like all of this was done. His family has moved on. Why can’t others?

I would argue that there is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. What he did was heinous. About that, there can be no dispute. Now, the question is, should he have a job at a place that promotes family values? That is something reasonable people can dispute, his past certainly will affect his credibility. Maybe his reputation will never recover. That is a cross that he has to bear. Some victims of sexual abuse never recover either, that is the cross they have to bear.

 

[gh4]

Y’all people are really harsh.
He was a child using a child’s mind, and has even said that he wishes he would have made better decisions and that his actions were horrible. Kids do stupid horrible things.
I don’t think that the majority of people here would have their child arrested, I think most people would do their best to work this out in their homes without inviting the police and the child welfare people and the press into their homes. There have been quite a few documented cases of young girls being molested by others in group homes and foster homes where sometimes the innocent kids end up.
Is what he did bad? YES. If it unforgivable? NO. Does it mean he’s a predator? I don’t know, but I doubt it. Are his own children at risk? Most likely not.
Many of the people commenting in this thread are very judgmental. And no matter what’s been leaked, it’s still not your business and it’s still not complete.
I feel horrible for the entire family, this will probably be worse for them now than the original problem was. Shame on whoever leaked this, they did not do anyone a favor, this was a leaked for selfish motives, for sensational reasons and perhaps for vindictive reasons.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Y’all people are really harsh.
He was a child using a child’s mind, .

Yeah, teens don’t know that what he did was wrong. He’s what 13/14 when this happened? Go to your local middle school/junior high and ask them if molestation is ok. I’m quite sure people that age will tell you that it isn’t ok.

 

[zaffiroborant]

How do you figure that would work? I’m assuming that by “working on his troubles” you mean, “get them into counseling.” At least I’m hoping you mean that you’d take the responsible route and have them start seeing a licensed therapist as opposed to, “send them to a friend who needs help doing some remodeling work.” So now you’ve covered up a crime for a time but now you have your kids in counseling and they mention the abuse. The counselor is legally required to report the abuse to the authorities at which point you get investigated for the abuse that occurred in your home and the fact that you covered it up instead of reporting it. I’m guessing that’s an aspect you didn’t consider.

I don’t have any idea how that would work, I wouldn’t want to let him stay in the home and continue to abuse his sisters, at the same time I don’t think just throwing him out of the house with no where to go is going to help him. Is jail going to help would he even be sent there? Never thought about this, I wonder what options parents have to keep the abused safe by removal while still providing the counseling and basic care the abuser, as a minor, still needs?

 

[stinkcat_14]

Anyone can believe whomwever they want, but there are two very important things a lot of folks are missing:

1. Josh has seemed to have repented.

I would argue that if there is going to be a reconciliation, then the party who offended needs to have repented. The burden of proof is on Josh to prove that he repented. Has he offered that proof? Not that I am aware of. If we wants to have a public job with an organization that promotes family values, then I think he would need to offer proof of repentance in order to have any credibility. If he wants to pump gas for a living, he certainly does not need to prove to me that he has repented. It may be that he is consigned to a life of pumping gas and similar types of jobs because of his past. That is the cross that he will have to bear.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I don’t have any idea how that would work, I wouldn’t want to let him stay in the home and continue to abuse his sisters, at the same time I don’t think just throwing him out of the house with no where to go is going to help him. Is jail going to help would he even be sent there? Never thought about this, I wonder what options parents have to keep the abused safe by removal while still providing the counseling and basic care the abuser, as a minor, still needs?

I know that Florida has the Baker Act. It allows involuntary commitment to a mental health facility. It holds them there for at least 72 hours. Then the mental health providers decide if the person needs additional involuntary commitment, involuntary outpatient care, being released, etc.
Mental health professionals, LEOs, physicians, and I also believe judges can “Baker Act” someone. Conditions that have to be met is that there may be a mental heath issue and that the person is a risk to themselves or others.
Maybe other states have something like this? If you live in Florida, you could possibly have your teenage molester “Baker Acted.” They would get basic care and treatment.

 

[Yeoman]

Wow, this thread is up to 41 pages now, which brings me to this.

I hardly know how to say this without sounding completely incorrect in saying it. To start off with I’ll note that I can’t comment on what Josh did or didn’t do, as I don’t follow this stuff that closely other than it looks icky, from what I’ve read of it, assuming that what I’ve read is correct (which might be an erroneous assumption.

But let me through this out. This is the Catholic Answers Forum. Granted, this forum is open to all, and certainly draws in all in addition to Catholics. But starting there, why would the Duggers draw sufficient interest here to out poll some actually significant Catholic topics (Catholic Ireland and the vote, our own election and the pending issues, etc.).

After all, the Duggers are really darned far from our own world outlook. They are in a subset of the Independent Baptists and hold a lot of religious views that we’d regard as pretty alien. Generally, most Catholics wouldn’t want to be too closely identified with their religious views and practices, and they’d probably tend to regard Catholics as rather alien. Indeed, like a lot of fundamentalist groups, they’ve conducted missionary activity in Central America, which is something I’ve always found suspect for such groups (you’ll find the Catholic Church and the old Protestant denominations in the wilder regions of the globe amongst non Christians in places where that’s really dangerous, while some American groups of this type and others are in Central America where the Catholic Church has already done the groundwork.) Indeed, the fact that they’d be missionaries in Catholic countries says quite a bit, potentially, about how they probably view us.

Anyhow, this group clearly has a huge following amongst all sections of a largely female American audience. Why is that? In terms of their demographic niche they don’t share that much with most of us, including most Christians of any stripe and certainly with most Catholics. So the attraction to their story must be on some really elemental level.

Whatever it is, the cautionary tale here may be that it’s not really a good thing for Catholics when the Duggars are just summarized as “Christian”. They are, no doubt, but their Christianity is different than it is for those of us who are members of the 2,000 year old faith. Now that people who hate them because they are “Christian” are going to go after them for this story, including some of their more unusual beliefs, we may wish to remember that we love all, have charity for all, but that we need to stand as who we are, which I guess we have been, of course.

 

[gh4]

Yeah, teens don’t know that what he did was wrong. He’s what 13/14 when this happened? Go to your local middle school/junior high and ask them if molestation is ok. I’m quite sure people that age will tell you that it isn’t ok.

I never said he didn’t know it was wrong, he did and that’s why he told on himself to his parents. Sheesh. I’m not saying that it’s a good thing that happened.
There is a reason that kids at 13 or 14 or 15 and on up can’t get married without parental permission, can’t consent to sex, can’t sign most legal documents, can’t buy a car and get a loan etc. can’t drive until they are 16 and so forth. BECAUSE THEY ARE CHILDREN. And children make stupid mistakes and don’t always use the brains that God gave them.
When I was 16, I knew it was illegal for me to buy beer and drink it, but that didn’t stop me from buying beer and drinking it… I WAS A stupid child. Teenagers often do stupid illegal things that they KNOW they shouldn’t do.

 

[gracepoole]

Wow, this thread is up to 41 pages now, which brings me to this.

I hardly know how to say this without sounding completely incorrect in saying it. To start off with I’ll note that I can’t comment on what Josh did or didn’t do, as I don’t follow this stuff that closely other than it looks icky, from what I’ve read of it, assuming that what I’ve read is correct (which might be an erroneous assumption.

But let me through this out. This is the Catholic Answers Forum. Granted, this forum is open to all, and certainly draws in all in addition to Catholics. But starting there, why would the Duggers draw sufficient interest here to out poll some actually significant Catholic topics (Catholic Ireland and the vote, our own election and the pending issues, etc.).

After all, the Duggers are really darned far from our own world outlook. They are in a subset of the Independent Baptists and hold a lot of religious views that we’d regard as pretty alien. Generally, most Catholics wouldn’t want to be too closely identified with their religious views and practices, and they’d probably tend to regard Catholics as rather alien. Indeed, like a lot of fundamentalist groups, they’ve conducted missionary activity in Central America, which is something I’ve always found suspect for such groups (you’ll find the Catholic Church and the old Protestant denominations in the wilder regions of the globe amongst non Christians in places where that’s really dangerous, while some American groups of this type and others are in Central America where the Catholic Church has already done the groundwork.) Indeed, the fact that they’d be missionaries in Catholic countries says quite a bit, potentially, about how they probably view us.

Anyhow, this group clearly has a huge following amongst all sections of a largely female American audience. Why is that? In terms of their demographic niche they don’t share that much with most of us, including most Christians of any stripe and certainly with most Catholics. So the attraction to their story must be on some really elemental level.

Whatever it is, the cautionary tale here may be that it’s not really a good thing for Catholics when the Duggars are just summarized as “Christian”. They are, no doubt, but their Christianity is different than it is for those of us who are members of the 2,000 year old faith. Now that people who hate them because they are “Christian” are going to go after them for this story, including some of their more unusual beliefs, we may wish to remember that we love all, have charity for all, but that we need to stand as who we are, which I guess we have been, of course.

Are you claiming that Catholics shouldn’t be interested in this family, their show, this story…? If so, perhaps it’s worth noting that unlike the Duggars, Catholics aren’t part of a cult that forces them to isolate themselves from the world around them.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

I never said he didn’t know it was wrong, he did and that’s why he told on himself to his parents. Sheesh. I’m not saying that it’s a good thing that happened.
There is a reason that kids at 13 or 14 or 15 and on up can’t get married without parental permission, can’t consent to sex, can’t sign most legal documents, can’t buy a car and get a loan etc. can’t drive until they are 16 and so forth. BECAUSE THEY ARE CHILDREN. And children make stupid mistakes and don’t always use the brains that God gave them.
When I was 16, I knew it was illegal for me to buy beer and drink it, but that didn’t stop me from buying beer and drinking it… I WAS A stupid child. Teenagers often do stupid illegal things that they KNOW they shouldn’t do.

Buying beer at 16 is so not the same. Not even close. Buying beer at 16 is very typical teenage behavior. Illegal? Yes. Typical? Most definitely. Molestation is not typical, and a much worse crime. I’d much rather catch my teen drunk than sexually abusing his little sister. Hey, maybe I’m just nuts.
Going in for an job interview with a minor in possession of alcohol charge will not raise an eyebrow, sexual abuse is a MUCH different story.

Please stop comparing typical behavior, while it is immoral/sinful/illegal, to sexual abuse. That’s apples to oranges and a poor argument.

youtu.be/axCCAUUnUPU

 

[gracepoole]

Buying beer at 16 is so not the same. Not even close. Buying beer at 16 is very typical teenage behavior. Illegal? Yes. Typical? Most definitely. Molestation is not typical, and a much worse crime. I’d much rather catch my teen drunk than sexually abusing his little sister. Hey, maybe I’m just nuts.
Going in for an job interview with a minor in possession of alcohol charge will not raise an eyebrow, sexual abuse is a MUCH different story.

Please stop comparing typical behavior, while it is immoral/sinful/illegal, to sexual abuse. That’s apples to oranges and a poor argument.

So far sexual violation of a sibling has been likened to property damage, consensual sexual activity between adults, and now buying beer. It’s striking how little understanding of molestation and its effects is present here.

 

[KendraDZ1902]

So far sexual violation of a sibling has been likened to property damage, consensual sexual activity between adults, and now buying beer. It’s striking how little understanding of molestation and its effects is present here.

I truly vote for psych evals for all involved in this thread. Honestly. You can’t be in your right mind to compare sex abuse to any of those things. It’s asinine.

 

[stinkcat_14]

I truly vote for psych evals for all involved in this thread. Honestly. You can’t be in your right mind to compare sex abuse to any of those things. It’s asinine.

Do you include yourself in the need for a pysch eval?

 

[KendraDZ1902]

Do you include yourself in the need for a pysch eval?

Yes, however I already go to a psychologist and psychiatrist. ADHD (severe), OCD (minor), and GAD, I also had an episode of Major Depression. So, I’ve already been evaluated and I go this week to chat with them.