The Duggers' 17 children

[CountrySinger]

There is being open to life, and being blessed with many children…and then there’s going on a sex marathon to see how many kids you can squeeze into your childbearing years. The latter is in no way natural, or Godly.

Sorry, that made me laugh. I want a sex marathon. But I’m single, dang it.

 

[sanctamaria17]

You have no idea if they’re going on a sex marathon or not. Besides, actually, I’ve read science articles that recommend couples to ABSTAIN a couple days at a time if they’re trying, because it allows the sperm to become more potent.

Also, some women CAN’T nurse past nine months. I believe Michelle Duggar struggles from a health condition that makes it difficult for her. Some women can’t even do the full six. I find it commendable that she’s working through it to make sure her babies get SOME breast milk.

A LOT of women have issues nursing. Some moms have to work (yes, HAVE TO) and may not have the support or ability to pump or nurse her baby between breaks. Some women don’t get support, whether from her health care professionals or from her family.

Finally, I think it horribly judgmental that people would say her baby’s preemie birth is her fault, because she “had too many”. Two of my good friends were preemies and they are both the youngest of two children.

No, I don’t agree with the “Quiverfull” ideals, nor do I agree that God means for all women to have as many children as physically possible and to stay at home (though God bless the women who do:thumbsup I think that some of their ideas on courtship are a bit outdated and extreme. However, I don’t think I can judge the Duggar’s lifestyle. I can focus on my own life and follow where God takes me.

 

[mamacita]

**Iada, she gets pregnant when her kids are 6 months old WHILE breastfeeding so she probably quits at 9 months due to the fact that gestating while breastfeeding can be exhausting. She isn’t quitting at 9 months TO get pregnant, she’s ALREADY pregnant by then. Like I said, if God thought they shouldn’t have more, He’d stop it.

I have a friend who has 11 kids, she then had an ectopic preg. and lost a tube. Then, she had ANOTHER ectopic pregnancy and lost that tube as well. She was devastated by this even tho she has 11 living kids. Some people LOVE kids and want as many as God will send them, so that’s not for us to judge in my opinion. Are the Duggar kids cared for? Fed? Sheltered? Or are they living on the street, starving, being beaten, etc? No, they aren’t. The kids they have aren’t being neglected so I don’t think anyone should be gossiping about them having more.

For anyone to judge them for bringing new LIFE into the World is awfully un-Christian IMO. **

 

[lada]

if God didn’t want her having more kids, He’d not be blessing them w/ more.

I’m sorry, but that’s like a 600 pound person saying if God didn’t want him getting any fatter, He wouldn’t provide him with any more food.

 

[mamacita]

I’m sorry, but that’s like a 600 pound person saying if God didn’t want him getting any fatter, He wouldn’t provide him with any more food.

Totally different scenario. We are to RESPECT our bodies and putting HUGE amounts of food into it isn’t respecting it (unless of course there is a medical cond. that caused said person to be 600 lbs). Having more kids isn’t ‘disrespecting’ your body. My sis in law and cousin have preemies and they are BOTH in their 20’s, so to say that her last baby was a preemie is ‘her fault’ (as some others in the media have said) is not correct. My grandma had my uncle at age 45, and he was not a preemie, and weighed over 12lbs at birth.

 

[lada]

I understand what is happening, and the point you’re trying to make. Again, from the article:

“At 8 months (after the previous baby was born), I usually conceive, and when I do get pregnant, then my milk seems to dry up. So by 9 months, my baby is fussing when I’m nursing…that’s when I have to supplement.”

MY point is that if you KNOW you conceive at 8 months PP, and that you can only nurse a month past that, and your pregnancy is THE REASON why your milk dries up, then, yes. I feel you owe it to your nursing infant to use some discretion so that you don’t conceive, so that you can continue to nurse your infant until he is a year old, because that’s what’s best for him. Yes, NFP can “fail”. But not paying ANY attention to your fertility even though you KNOW that another pregnancy will cause you to not be able to provide your infant with what is best for him, is irresponsible.

I’m not judging. I’m not saying that these people are damned to hell. But, I can recognize irresponsible parenting when I see it. Handing your babies off to your older kids to be raised as soon as they are weaned is not responsible. Not using NFP to allow you to continue to give your infant breastmilk is not responsible. It may not be AS irresponsible as beating your kids, obviously, but it’s still not making choices that are in the best interests of your kids…in my opinion.

 

[lada]

Totally different scenario. We are to RESPECT our bodies and putting HUGE amounts of food into it isn’t respecting it (unless of course there is a medical cond. that caused said person to be 600 lbs). Having more kids isn’t ‘disrespecting’ your body. My sis in law and cousin have preemies and they are BOTH in their 20’s, so to say that her last baby was a preemie is ‘her fault’ (as some others in the media have said) is not correct. My grandma had my uncle at age 45, and he was not a preemie, and weighed over 12lbs at birth.

Medically, the premature delivery could have been cause by uterine failure, which is likely in women who have had many many babies, very close together.

Women in my family have always had babies into their 40s and sometimes even in their 50s. But, they weren’t having them every 18 months. A woman’s fertility naturally slows down as she gets older. Genetically, I have every reason to believe that I will continue to ovulate for many years to come. However, because I keep track of my cycles, I know that already (and I’m only in my mid-thirties) I do not ovulate as often as I once did. I don’t believe that Michelle Duggar is conceiving these children, this late in life, this close together, without TRYING to do so.

 

[shannyk]

From that link:

“The longest I’ve been able to breastfeed is 9 months, and I’m thrilled about that,”

In comparison, the AAP recommends babies be breastfed until at least 12 months of age, and beyond that if the situation is comfortable for both mom and baby. Breastmilk is the BEST food for your child for the first year of his life. If you know you usually conceive at 8 weeks postpartum, and doing so causes your milk to dry up, then it’s your responsibility to your nursing infant to use some discretion when engaging in intercourse so that you can continue to give your infant what is best for his developing system. I, too, usually conceive very quickly after giving birth, and usually dry up quickly as well. Once we learned this (and it only took the first time to figure it out) we were more careful during that postpartum time and were very strict with our NFP practices. I’ve never had anyone tell me that using NFP to avoid pregnancy so that I could continue to nurse was against the Church teachings.

There is being open to life, and being blessed with many children…and then there’s going on a sex marathon to see how many kids you can squeeze into your childbearing years. The latter is in no way natural, or Godly.

yes she does say that but you took it out of context. read the whole thing please

“The longest I’ve been able to breastfeed is 9 months, and I’m thrilled about that,” she said. “I’m designed in such a way that I start my cycle 6 weeks after the baby is born—and that’s with no paci, no water, just breastfeeding—to the T!” she said, referring to the fact that exclusive breastfeeding—and in particular, a practice called lactational amenorrhea method (LAM)—can be a form of natural birth control if certain conditions are in place.

It’s like clockwork, she says: though she’s likely not ovulating with the first menstrual cycle that returns, her cycles are regular from that moment on. “At 8 months (after the previous baby was born), I usually conceive, and when I do get pregnant, then my milk seems to dry up. So by 9 months, my baby is fussing when I’m nursing…that’s when I have to supplement.

”

she said she was happy about 9 months because she’d had such trouble previously.

Church teaching doesn’t require that couples use NFP BTW.

 

[lada]

yes she does say that but you took it out of context. read the whole thing please

she said she was happy about 9 months because she’d had such trouble previously.

Church teaching doesn’t require that couples use NFP BTW.

I think you missed my point…which is that if you are a responsible parent, you don’t knowingly deprive your infant of the best nutrition because of your selfish desire to have another baby. Watch your cycles, be prudent, and wait until your child is at least 12 months before you try to conceive again, if you know that your milk will dry up after you conceive.

 

[shannyk]

I think you missed my point…which is that if you are a responsible parent, you don’t knowingly deprive your infant of the best nutrition because of your selfish desire to have another baby. Watch your cycles, be prudent, and wait until your child is at least 12 months before you try to conceive again, if you know that your milk will dry up after you conceive.

I didn’t miss the point. First you said she was selfish because she weaned to get pregnant. When you found out that was a rumor, you found a way to still call her selfish by saying she didn’t use NFP to delay pregnancy so she could nurse. Seems Michelle can’t do anything right huh? She’s damned either way. And again, it’s not even required of Catholics to use NFP to delay conception. Would I? Yes. Is that the only moral or prudent course of action? Hardly.

how is nursing and getting your fertility back and becoming pregnant by engaging in the marital act selfish? are you honestly calling a woman who’s had 19 children selfish? what do you call women who don’t breastfeed at all? I’d hate to know…there is such a thing as rash judgment.

 

[BeyondWords]

But, I can recognize irresponsible parenting when I see it. Handing your babies off to your older kids to be raised as soon as they are weaned is not responsible.

From what I have seen and read (after all, none of us knows them personally, only what the editor decides we’ll see) she in NO way “hands her babies off to the older kids to be raised”. Since when is helping a younger sibling with brushing their teeth or tying their shoes “raising” them? When did we become a society where teaching our children to take on responsibility a BAD thing? From the accounts of the oldest son, he has learned the value of accountability through the one-on-one discussions he has had with his parents. They make time for each and every child. The parents are the ones who do the “raising” - they set the rules, they enforce the rules, they decide what activities each child will participate in, they provide the love and guidance for their children. The children, in contrast have chores and household responsibilities. There is a VAST difference.

 

[CatholicSam]

I don’t believe that Michelle Duggar is conceiving these children, this late in life, this close together, without TRYING to do so.

Wow! Are you her doctor, then? You should have said so.

 

[lada]

I didn’t miss the point. First you said she was selfish because she weaned to get pregnant. When you found out that was a rumor, you found a way to still call her selfish by saying she didn’t use NFP to delay pregnancy so she could nurse. Seems Michelle can’t do anything right huh? She’s damned either way. And again, it’s not even required of Catholics to use NFP to delay conception. Would I? Yes. Is that the only moral or prudent course of action? Hardly.

how is nursing and getting your fertility back and becoming pregnant by engaging in the marital act selfish? are you honestly calling a woman who’s had 19 children selfish? what do you call women who don’t breastfeed at all? I’d hate to know…there is such a thing as rash judgment.

I’m not convinced that she doesn’t purposely wean early, I was just providing a counter-argument to your statement that it was a “rumor” that she weaned early. It’s a rumor I’ve heard enough to believe there is some merit to. But, if you choose to believe it’s purely speculation, then fine. There’s still good argument for why it’s not a good idea to purposely become pregnant if you know doing so will render you unable to nurse an infant.

Yes, selfish. Lots of people with multiples or big families are selfish. Do you condone Octomom, or the McCoughs, or The Gosslins? People thrive on fame and attention, and I believe the Duggars have come to not only need the attention, psychologically, but depend on it financially as well, and that dependency is affecting their judgment.

I’m entitled to my opinion. It’s not my place to tell others how to live but I don’t feel that just because the general opinion is that this family is some example to be exalted, that I have to condone their practices. I don’t, plain and simple and I’m simply stating the reasons WHY I don’t.

 

[sanctamaria17]

They were debt free before they went on TV. I don’t think money’s their issue. And they live a lot more simply than the Gosselin’s do. I’m pretty sure they also keep private what’s meant to be kept private. They don’t bring all their drama on TV like the others do.

Also, encouraging your kids to look after each other doesn’t mean they’re raising each other. This whole, “We need to let kids be kids” left an entire generation with little work ethic or accountability. Yes, kids need to be innocent and enjoy youth, but they need to learn how to deal with the world and be accountable to others. That includes older siblings serving as role models for the younger ones. Heck, I’m one of three and it certainly helped MY mom that I helped my brother get to the bus stop or made sure my sister got home OK.

Honestly, you act like she’s starving her kids. She’s not. She may have to stop giving them the ideal form of nutrition. You know, my aunt COULDN’T breastfeed her oldest. So, she didn’t try with her younger one. I would hardly call her a bad mother. She does her best to make sure her girls are healthy, that they do well in school, and that they know their faith. She made sure to teach them their Catholic faith even though she herself was Protestant. She’s now coming into the Church because of it

I’m just kind of amused that posters think that watching a TV show means they have all the facts regarding a certain family’s medical records and bedroom practices…OK, I LIVE with three other girls and I don’t even have that sort of info about my roommates (nor do I wish to!)!

 

[mamacita]

I’m not convinced that she doesn’t purposely wean early, I was just providing a counter-argument to your statement that it was a “rumor” that she weaned early. It’s a rumor I’ve heard enough to believe there is some merit to. But, if you choose to believe it’s purely speculation, then fine.** There’s still good argument for why it’s not a good idea to purposely become pregnant if you know doing so will render you unable to nurse an infant.

Yes, selfish.** Lots of people with multiples or big families are selfish. Do you condone Octomom, or the McCoughs, or The Gosslins? People thrive on fame and attention, and I believe the Duggars have come to not only need the attention, psychologically, but depend on it financially as well, and that dependency is affecting their judgment.

I’m entitled to my opinion. It’s not my place to tell others how to live but I don’t feel that just because the general opinion is that this family is some example to be exalted, that I have to condone their practices. I don’t, plain and simple and I’m simply stating the reasons WHY I don’t.

**WOW! I didn’t know God said ‘you must nurse an infant for ‘x’ amount of months.’’ Could you point me to that? Back when we were kids, hardly anyone nursed. Not only that, but I know w/ my own mom she did formula til only 6 months and then switched to gallons of milk that we drink as adults. Wow, I guess she’s a selfish mom, huh? My mom didn’t nurse her first 7 kids, does that make her a ‘bad mom?’ Formula was the ‘in thing’ so to speak, she nursed the last 2 kids because nursing was coming out more and more as not being a ‘perverted thing’ like some twisted it into being for awhile there. So…it’s selfish that Michelle nursed for 9 months? Really? I know of women who don’t even ATTEMPT to nurse their kids, and their REASON is what I’d call selfish–it’s so that they can go back on the pill. **

BTW, they were DEBT free before the show started, so you can’t use the show as an excuse for them to support their kids.

 

[mamacita]

**One more thing I’m curious about is why is it that when people are trying to live Godly lives others feel the need to ‘attack’ them for doing what is right in their eyes? The Duggars aren’t like the Gosselins (well other than the fact that they both had tv shows, lol), you can’t compare the two, that’s not right.

Also, I wanted to add that NFP isn’t ‘required’ by the RCC (or if it is, I’d like to know where you read that) it’s actually taught that NFP should be used only for grave reasons (finances, mother’s well being/health, etc. etc) and not to be abused. Some may think I’m crazy for sticking up for the Duggars but my own grandparents had 15 kids and did an awesome job w/ their upbringing.**

 

[mamacita]

They were debt free before they went on TV. I don’t think money’s their issue. And they live a lot more simply than the Gosselin’s do. I’m pretty sure they also keep private what’s meant to be kept private. They don’t bring all their drama on TV like the others do.

**Also, encouraging your kids to look after each other doesn’t mean they’re raising each other. This whole, “We need to let kids be kids” left an entire generation with little work ethic or accountability. Yes, kids need to be innocent and enjoy youth, but they need to learn how to deal with the world and be accountable to others. That includes older siblings serving as role models for the younger ones. Heck, I’m one of three and it certainly helped MY mom that I helped my brother get to the bus stop or made sure my sister got home OK. **

Honestly, you act like she’s starving her kids. She’s not. She may have to stop giving them the ideal form of nutrition. You know, my aunt COULDN’T breastfeed her oldest. So, she didn’t try with her younger one. I would hardly call her a bad mother. She does her best to make sure her girls are healthy, that they do well in school, and that they know their faith. She made sure to teach them their Catholic faith even though she herself was Protestant. She’s now coming into the Church because of it

I’m just kind of amused that posters think that watching a TV show means they have all the facts regarding a certain family’s medical records and bedroom practices…OK, I LIVE with three other girls and I don’t even have that sort of info about my roommates (nor do I wish to!)!

:clapping::yup: Yes! Kids these days are growing up in this culture of ‘entitlement’ instead of ‘service’. I see it all around us, they live for themselves instead of for others (not all kids, but a great many). The Duggars are doing a great job of instilling in their children the idea of serving others instead of being served.

 

[Catholic90]

Medically, the premature delivery could have been cause by uterine failure, which is likely in women who have had many many babies, very close together.

Michelle had pre eclampsia.

Women in my family have always had babies into their 40s and sometimes even in their 50s. But, they weren’t having them every 18 months. A woman’s fertility naturally slows down as she gets older. Genetically, I have every reason to believe that I will continue to ovulate for many years to come. However, because I keep track of my cycles, I know that already (and I’m only in my mid-thirties) I do not ovulate as often as I once did. I don’t believe that Michelle Duggar is conceiving these children, this late in life, this close together, without TRYING to do so.

Lada, WHY do you CARE??!!?? YOU do not have to pay for them or take care of them! They are a loving family. I think those kids are darn lucky.

I am in my mid-40s. I also keep track of my fertility. I can tell you that my cycles are getting shorter (from a regular 33 days in my “youth” to a regular 27 days now.) MY ovulating days are getting more frequent as I age, not farther apart.

You have GOT to get off your high horse about this family. Your way is not the only way. The Duggars are doing what works for them. Their way obviously would not work for you! But it works great for the Duggars.

And nowhere does it state a “good Catholic” must breastfeed for 1 year! There are multitudes of fabulous Catholic parents - and non-Catholic parents - who do not breastfeed AT ALL! Their children are no less loved, cherished, or cared for than the child who is breastfed for 4 years!

 

[cathguy]

These past 12 or 13 years, our practice at Christmas has been to give each of our children one special gift-- ie rollerblades or something of that size and two smaller gifts-- totalling three gifts-- the same number gifts scripture records Baby Jesus received at his birth.

it wasn’t always this way. years ago, i’d begin Christmas shopping in august and continue purchasing “cute stuff” or things “he’ll love” almost up till Christmas Eve.

those Christmas mornings were disgusting. the kids would tear open one of the dozen boxes designated for them, look briefly at the new toy and grab for the next wrapped package, while tossing the latest gift into the heap along side them on the floor. until the last box was opened, they were grabbing for “what’s next.”

the Duggers just gave birth to their seventeenth child. i’ve read quotes and seen them on TV since the birth of their fourteenth child. the single most disturbing thing about the Duggers is this: at the very moment they are first holding in their arms an astonishing, unique, unrepeatable, eternal gift from God, they are already looking for the next one.

I have given birth to ten live children and lost two. when i am holding my newborn baby in my arms, i have absolutely no thought to who might come next. i want only one thing-- to spend the rest of my life learning who this person is, feeling completely humbled that God has given us this gift of this child.

when people learn we are parents of ten, have homescooled for seventeen years, are actively involved with our church (the general family bio that follows us like a billboard) they often ask, “didja see that family with 16 kids on TV? are you like them?”

no. we are not like them. my children have never been required to dress alike because they are unique people, not part of a set. when they approach their first birthday, we are not actively trying to refill their baby slot. we like them to be the baby for a long time.

they are not expected to all learn violin. my pantry does not look like the new, bright, clean A+P superstore. our home looks like real people live here. even for a TV interview, this place would appear to be as loved as it is.

i don’t think the problem is some perceived overpopulation or that the Duggers have too ***many ***children.

instead i am sad that as the Dugger children emerge into the world, perfectly brand new from God, their parents can’t seem to sit still long enough to deeply relish that particular gift of that particular unique child. instead they seem like my spoiled kids on Christmases of old, insisting, “what’s next?”

I know of wonderful Catholic families back in the day that had as many as 20 children.

Would you say the same about them?

This family is amazing, in that they place their faith in God’s providence. I do not reject NFP or anything like that, but I can say without equivocation that I admire the Duggar’s “walk.” Would we had more families like them… more than this, I wish the Duggars were Catholic!

 

[lada]

Eh, well, you win a few you lose a few. I’m obviously of a dissenting opinion on this issue, but I’m not swaying from it. Not that I expect anyone else to do any less. Variety is the spice of life after all.

For me, and my family? No thanks. My kids know that they are each valued individually, they are not just another notch in my belt. My daughters are not being ruled over by an antiquated idea of what a woman should do with her life. They are encouraged to go to college and get careers. They are not expected to live here and raise my younger kids when they should be off living their own lives. They aren’t subjected to wearing skirts that brush the floor, which prevent them from being able to play sports. My husband understands what shorts are and if he were to run a mile race, in the middle of the summer, he’d be wearing them and not a pair of jeans. We don’t live in a lavish house, but then, we don’t have to depend on a tv show to build our house for us. I can only hope that my son will have enough sense not to bring balloons when he proposes to his future wife and I only can hope that he’ll marry someone with parents who have enough sense and trust in the way they’ve raised their children that they won’t need to be there to witness the entire proposal.

But, hey, there are all kinds of weirdos out there, and to each his own. I’m going to bow out of this discussion now, but thank you for the opportunity to express my opinion.