You are wrong. I would very much love to be deluded and mistaken. That is my desire to be wrong. The trouble is that there is no evidence of what you “allegedly KNOW”. On the other hand there is absolutely overwhelming, incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.
The same delusion. You believe with all your heart - but you cannot KNOW. No one KNOWS.
I went through this over and over again. I was told to go the Marian Chapel with other catholilcs and pray the rosary, and I will be given the sign. Nothing happened, not even in the St. Peter’s cathedral - the holiest of all. So, trust me, I would love to be wrong. Different posters “challenged” me to do different “tests” and none of them worked…
This is the first thing you have said that has given me a glimmer of understanding of you. You tried. And you would love to be wrong. That is exactly how I felt when I was agnostic. I wanted nothing more than to be given a sign that God exists. I asked Him for one. I told Him that I would drive and at the first Catholic Church I came to I hoped He would have a sign in front of it. For me.
There was a hearse in front of that church. So I turned my back on the Church and stayed that way for a couple of decades. I know this doesn’t make sense because if I believed that hearse was a sign I would have had to be convinced that someone put it there, but I didn’t.
But I still wanted to be convinced - mainly because I was so afraid to die and then not exist anymore. So I thought about all the very intelligent people who believe in God - who KNOW that God exists. I thought that if they knew that should be good enough for me. Of course it wasn’t. I was a Doubting Thomas. I think the only thing that would have convinced me during those decades was if Jesus appeared to me and told me to put my hands in His wounds.
What started me on my long trek (no pun intended; really, this is serious) back to the Church was when I had a long discussion with a monk who knew his stuff. All the prayers, the rosaries, reading the bible - that is not what did it for me. What did it for me was talking to someone who really KNEW. And even then I didn’t fully accept it. It took years of asking questions, over and over and over and then one day I KNEW.
God did give me a sign but not when I asked for it. Do you remember that old joke about the guy who asks God for a sign and opens the bible to a random page and, with his eyes closed, puts his finger on a line and it says “And Judas went out and hanged himself.” So he asks for a second sign, does the same thing, and what he reads is “Go therefore and do likewise.” (I’m paraphrasing here as I still don’t know the bible very well.) It’s been my experience that whenever I’ve asked for a sign I don’t think I’ve received it. Maybe I missed it or maybe God’s silence is the sign or maybe God is working in a way I don’t understand.
I don’t know what the answer is for you. All I can do is tell you what happened to me. My faith wobbled during several years after I had developed a belief in Him. I had weak faith. But with more and more questions with answers I couldn’t deny were true I developed a strong belief and then I really KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God exists. I think that you were misled. I was, too. I belonged to a teen group and they actually held hands, in a Catholic Church, and asked God to allow a demon to possess me (but just a little one). When I look back at that I’m astounded at the lack of knowledge those people had and the power they had over a young teen who was just searching for God. What they did was so disrespectful to God and to me. How dare they be in the House of God and pray for me to be possessed!
Please keep trying. I know we’ve been arguing but what you’ve said here is far more important than anything either you or I have written in this thread. I don’t think you’ll believe this but your eternal life is very important to me and to the other Christians who have posted with you. I’m not saying you have to be a member of the Catholic Church to be saved - that is a heresy. If you know the parable of the sheep and the goats you’ll know what you have to do.
I’d like to write more - a whole lot more, but you’re angry with me and have dismissed me. I don’t expect a response to this post and I don’t really want one. What I want is for you to be a saint. And me, too.
This is my last post in this thread because I have tried to really open my heart here and I’m frightened that you will attack me. I may KNOW that God exists but that doesn’t mean I’m a strong person and an attack now would devastate me as I have severe depression that I’m trying to keep at bay. I can’t seem to fight it off for very long. And it’s when I really open myself up that the depression finds a vulnerable spot and attacks and then I am filled with despair.
I hope that you find the strength and resolve to keep searching. And I hope and pray I will meet you in heaven.