We ought to be careful about setting up a “straw man” in assuming this is what he would do. Let him answer first.
No I would not have a relationship with a girl like that. I would have a hard time trusting her. I’ve tried that too. I’ve dated several hot girls and I find them useless…
I do lift weights.WowMaybe you should start weight lifting
don’t you have to date someone in order to find out if they are marriage material?
This sort of thing happened to me back in college. Our church group was going on a weekend retreat and this girl, who was grossly overweight for her height (maybe 5 feet tall at most, and I am guessing close to 300 pounds), did not have a ride. I wanted to do the right thing, so I offered her a ride. Next thing I know, she’s latched on to me and won’t give me a moment of peace. She wanted to sit beside me at all the meals, at all the Bible study sessions, and hang out with me during free time. When I realized what was going on, I kind of freaked out and had to go back home early just to get away from her and regain some peace of mind. That wasn’t a right or wrong decision for me, that was a reflex – I had to get out of there. She had been very clingy like that ever since (this would have been about 10 years ago). She was probably about 21 or so at the time – sadly, she died at the age of 25 due to heart failure. I have no doubt the weight was a significant contributing factor there.
You are attracted to the soul,the heart:bowdown2: You do not see whether the shell is fat or skinny:bowdown: You see the person in their true light:bowdown2:I must admit, I din’t read all the way through, but I’ve found that once I learn that a girl has the qualities that are most important to me, she immediately becomes extremely physically attractive in my eyes.
It works the other way too. Some girl everyone thinks is hot, but does not have those qualities, in my eyes because becomes quite physically unattractive to me.
Kind of weird how that works–I’m like that movie Shallow Hal
Hang on, there. I don’t think that’s what Psychemusic is saying. I believe the point of his anecdote is that he can relate to what kev7 went through.
I really feel some people are being way to harsh with you on this.
The descriptions of these people are horrible,come on anyone would suffer low self esteem if they felt like unloveable creatures.I bet the suicide rate is high too.I mean listen this is what I am talking about,you say they aren’t unloveable but then say obesity makes them physically unattractive,and the premise of the thread is how important being physically attracted is.
I don’t think that’s the case at all. I find women of all shapes, sizes, colors, etc. to be attractive. I don’t think a women needs to look like a movie star to be attractive at all. In fact, there are quite a few movie stars who I think are unattractive. It’s amazing what a great personality can do for a person who is physically “lacking”.
Good points, but if that wonderful personality lies behind a not-so-attractive face, will that woman ever even have the opportunity to show her personality?
Yep, and that was my excuse the time I didn’t notice that my girlfriend straightened her hair
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rolleyes . She said that when she was with me, for the first time she felt like she didn’t have to worry about stuff like that. I’m telling , you that made me fell like a million bucks:dancing: . I don’t think I’m alone in thinking this way either.
Wow:bowdown: Genesis:bowdown2: You want to know a secret,with you giving her that secure love she will probably never starve herself nor use food to fill the void:thumbsup: :bowdown2: You have made the point I have been trying to make the whole time.Yep, and that was my excuse the time I didn’t notice that my girlfriend straightened her hair
Seriously though, I think its more of a blessing than anything I have control over.
I think most guys who don’t make women sex objects will agree that it makes us happy when our lady feels comfortable with herself around us. I remember when I first started seeing my gf and at the end of the school year she kind of joked that she would need to get a gym membership over the summer because I had caused her to put on weight
The same thing happened to me. WHen I met my hubby, it was his tall, blonde friend that I was attracted to. I hate to admit this, but I didn’t find my future hubby attractive at all. He was tall and skinny with a large nose and tight curly hair. Not my type at all. It was my hubby though who proved to be a gentleman. The more I talked to him, the better looking he got. I am so very lucky that I overcame my initial shallowness.I must admit, I din’t read all the way through, but I’ve found that once I learn that a girl has the qualities that are most important to me, she immediately becomes extremely physically attractive in my eyes.
It works the other way too. Some girl everyone thinks is hot, but does not have those qualities, in my eyes because becomes quite physically unattractive to me.
Kind of weird how that works–I’m like that movie Shallow Hal
I would say this is the fundamental question, and my response would be, absolutely God intended for physical attraction to be there. I don’t think anybody could deny that God created men to have a strong physical attraction to female beauty. Biology confirms this. Certainly few men need to be convinced of this, since we experience this as a fact of life. This is consistent with God’s first command to Adam and Eve, which was to “be fertile and multiply”; I doubt God would have made that a burden to Adam by giving him a wife he was not physically attracted to. God said, after all, that his creation “was very good” after looking at it! If you’re still not convinced, read the 4th chapter of the Song of Songs (as somebody else mentioned), and if even that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will.
So I guess what you’re saying then is that you are unloveable if you are physically unattractive? Are you saying that it is inconsistent to say on the one hand that an obese person is not unloveable, and on the other hand, an obese person is not physically attractive? Must I then be physically attracted to everybody that I love?
It was all good and beautiful to God, but apparently some of us just don’t measure up to human standards – either I’m supposed to believe that God intended “Be fertile and multiply” only to apply to some of His children, or that our current standards of physical attractiveness are not from God. I prefer to believe the latter.