The importance of physical attraction in a relationship

[EsclavoDeCristo]

contemplative:

Advice:

If You Want to be Happy for the Rest of Your Life Never Make a Pretty Woman Your Wife. By Jimmy Soul

theromantic.com/lovesongs/ifyouwannabehappy.htm

amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/artist/glance/-/38386/104-4030206-2352725
Check out the sound byte if you are too young to know the song

Seems like solid advice to me…

 

[EsclavoDeCristo]

kev7:

there is something I find very distrubing about that picture.

I thought the same thing when i saw it. I am interested now in learning her story.

 

[EsclavoDeCristo]

Genesis315:

I must admit, I din’t read all the way through, but I’ve found that once I learn that a girl has the qualities that are most important to me, she immediately becomes extremely physically attractive in my eyes.

It works the other way too. Some girl everyone thinks is hot, but does not have those qualities, in my eyes because becomes quite physically unattractive to me.

Kind of weird how that works–I’m like that movie Shallow Hal

I agree with you 100% and feel the same way!

 

[psychemusic]

CarolAnnSFO:

It was all good and beautiful to God, but apparently some of us just don’t measure up to human standards – either I’m supposed to believe that God intended “Be fertile and multiply” only to apply to some of His children, or that our current standards of physical attractiveness are not from God. I prefer to believe the latter.

Where did I say I approved of our current standards of physical attraction? Believe me, I get absolutely disgusted with a lot of what I see on televisions nowadays. I either have to turn my head away when something profane like that comes on or change the channel, and I do so quite religiously. I am especially frustrated with all of the birth control, prescription drug and certain shampoo commercials. I also have a big problem with supermarkets putting all of their magazines at the checkout lines, mostly of women showing parts of their body nobody has any business looking at. I usually cover them up with good wholesome copies of Home and Garden when I go through the line.

Sure, physical attractiveness has been grossly abused in these ways, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing in and of itself. And I would say it would be a rare kind of man who married a woman he was not somehow physically attracted to – if such a man existed, he probably would really hurt his bride’s feelings if she ever found out (which I think was the main concern of this thread). Doesn’t a woman need to feel that her husband is physically attracted to her, after all?

 

[psychemusic]

CarolAnnSFO:

It was all good and beautiful to God, but apparently some of us just don’t measure up to human standards – either I’m supposed to believe that God intended “Be fertile and multiply” only to apply to some of His children, or that our current standards of physical attractiveness are not from God. I prefer to believe the latter.

Where did I say I approved of our current standards of physical attraction? Believe me, I get absolutely disgusted with a lot of what I see on televisions nowadays. I either have to turn my head away when something profane like that comes on or change the channel, and I do so quite religiously. I am especially frustrated with all of the birth control, prescription drug and certain shampoo commercials. I also have a big problem with supermarkets putting all of their magazines at the checkout lines, mostly of women showing parts of their body nobody has any business looking at. I usually cover them up with good wholesome copies of Home and Garden when I go through the line.

Sure, physical attractiveness has been grossly abused in these ways, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing in and of itself. And I would say it would be a rare kind of man who married a woman he was not somehow physically attracted to – if such a man existed, he probably would really hurt his bride’s feelings if she ever found out (which I think was the main concern of this thread). Doesn’t a woman need to feel that her husband is physically attracted to her, after all?

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

psychemusic:

So I guess what you’re saying then is that you are unloveable if you are physically unattractive? Are you saying that it is inconsistent to say on the one hand that an obese person is not unloveable, and on the other hand, an obese person is not physically attractive? Must I then be physically attracted to everybody that I love?

No, beauty is from within whether the person is a model or obese.And to disregard people and not even try based on outer appearence is sad.Good enough to be friends with but well you know:ehh:

 

[psychemusic]

Lisa4Catholics:

No, beauty is from within whether the person is a model or obese.And to disregard people and not even try based on outer appearence is sad.Good enough to be friends with but well you know:ehh:

I agree that people shouldn’t be disregarded based on outer appearance alone for friendship, but I think it would be naive to ignore the reality that physical beauty does play a role in the attraction of two people who eventually marry. Somebody mentioned earlier that they weren’t initially attracted to her husband physically but over time that changed – this is not that unusual a story wives tell about their husbands. What I think is really, really sad is that what should be the truly good God-given gift of physical female beauty, to be enjoyed only in the context of marriage, has been deeply distorted and scarred because we have so thoroughly abused it as a society. After all, weren’t Adam and Eve naked and not ashamed before the Fall?

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

psychemusic:

I agree that people shouldn’t be disregarded based on outer appearance alone for friendship, but I think it would be naive to ignore the reality that physical beauty does play a role in the attraction of two people who eventually marry. Somebody mentioned earlier that they weren’t initially attracted to her husband physically but over time that changed – this is not that unusual a story wives tell about their husbands. What I think is really, really sad is that what should be the truly good God-given gift of physical female beauty, to be enjoyed only in the context of marriage, has been deeply distorted and scarred because we have so thoroughly abused it as a society. After all, weren’t Adam and Eve naked and not ashamed before the Fall?

I can only wonder, then, what God thinks of those women to whom He did not give physical beauty. I guess “friendship” is the most we can hope for.

Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

 

[psychemusic]

CarolAnnSFO:

I can only wonder, then, what God thinks of those women to whom He did not give physical beauty. I guess “friendship” is the most we can hope for.

I think God DID give most, if not all, girls a kind of physical beauty from birth; it’s just that some girls (and guys, for that matter) don’t take care of themselves after that (such as gaining way too much weight). Believe me, I know, I was once in an adult church singles group for a number of years, I witnessed this phenomenon among the women in that group quite regularly.

Besides, a man can be physically attracted to a woman without her having to be a cover girl.

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

CarolAnnSFO:

I can only wonder, then, what God thinks of those women to whom He did not give physical beauty. I guess “friendship” is the most we can hope for.

Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

I am with you this is a depressing thread:nope: I do not like that:nope:

 

[rayne89]

People are attracted to different types of people. I find “Fabio type” guys (huge muscles) completely unappealing some women practically swoon over such men. I think Kev is being honest, it doesn’t sound like he expects perfection he just not attracted to large women.

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

psychemusic:

I think God DID give most, if not all, girls a kind of physical beauty from birth; it’s just that some girls (and guys, for that matter) don’t take care of themselves after that (such as gaining way too much weight). Believe me, I know, I was once in an adult church singles group for a number of years, I witnessed this phenomenon among the women in that group quite regularly.

Besides, a man can be physically attracted to a woman without her having to be a cover girl.

Yes of course, I guess you didn’t realize that all people who are obese do not eat extraordinary amounts of food.Thyroid,metabolism,diabetes can all interfere with weight.Also emotional problems whether with obesity or anorexia.I have read studies about obese women and a large percentage have been emotionally or sexually abused

 

[psychemusic]

Lisa4Catholics:

Yes of course, I guess you didn’t realize that all people who are obese do not eat extraordinary amounts of food.Thyroid,metabolism,diabetes can all interfere with weight.

I didn’t think I needed to qualify my statement with the obvious. Some people are also born mentally retarded. Some sustain physical injury and lose their looks that way. I was merely trying to stay on topic, since we were dealing with the subject of physical attraction as it relates to obesity.

Yes, I am aware that things other than overeating – things even largely outside of ones’ control – can lead to obesity. But that doesn’t mean that such a person was created by God that way.

 

[tossolul]

CarolAnnSFO:

I can only wonder, then, what God thinks of those women to whom He did not give physical beauty. I guess “friendship” is the most we can hope for.

Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

When I wrote that I was referring only to Kev7’s situation with this woman. I didn’t mean it as a rule. Sorry if I wasn’t very clear about that.

Just because he isn’t attracted to that woman for certain reasons doesn’t mean that she won’t be beautiful in someone elses eyes for possibly the very reasons that he doesn’t see her that way. Every person has their own idea of beauty. I’m sorry if my statement came across badly. I just don’t think he should feel bad for not being attracted to this person. If she isn’t someone he thinks he could spend the rest of his life with for whatever reason, then that’s him- I’m sure someone else will find her and she will make him the happiest man in the world.

Please forgive me

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

Lisa4Catholics:

Yes of course, I guess you didn’t realize that all people who are obese do not eat extraordinary amounts of food.Thyroid,metabolism,diabetes can all interfere with weight.

It isn’t always about weight, either – some of us are thin, but just not pretty. It happens.

I just hope that men do fall in love with their bride’s other qualities, because physical beauty doesn’t last. Wrinkles happen, so does sagging, and thick middles.

Ack, I’ve had enough of this thread for today. I’m going home, and hug my cats. They love me.

---

Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

CarolAnnSFO:

It isn’t always about weight, either – some of us are thin, but just not pretty. It happens.

I just hope that men do fall in love with their bride’s other qualities, because physical beauty doesn’t last. Wrinkles happen, so does sagging, and thick middles.

Ack, I’ve had enough of this thread for today. I’m going home, and hug my cats. They love me.

Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

I agree that is what was stressed the fat girls:nope: But there are so many good women out there don’t look for just a trophy.

 

[psychemusic]

CarolAnnSFO:

Ack, I’ve had enough of this thread for today. I’m going home, and hug my cats. They love me.

Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

LOL

I admire your attitude, Carol Ann – wish I had a cat to hug. I’ve had enough for today too.

 

[deb1]

If you read books written before the middle part of the twentieth century, what immediately stricks you is the variety of types that were considered beautiful. Dickens seemed to prefer women a bit plump, while other authors like tall and slender women. For some the ideal heroine was blonde, for others she was dark. In his novel Armadale, Wilkie Collins’ beauty is red haired and over thirty five. (Collins was a contemporary of Dickens). It is also impressive the many different parts of a woman that are described in sensual terms. Hands, necks, hair, arms, even feet,…all are worthy of praise.

It seems that our conception of beauty has narrowed. Not all, but a lot of the actress that are considered beautiful have a similar look. If the actress starts out with a distinctive look-like Lindsey Lohan- they immediately change to look like everyone else. Thus, Lindsey no longer has freckles and has bleached her hair and lost too much weight but, she now looks like every other actress .

 

[otm]

kev7:

Women and men have very different perspectives on what is attractive. There is also a lot of confusion in modern society regarding attraction. Most of the modern rhetoric goes against what men and women naturally find attractive. Women today are told to look for the feminized man who wears fancy clothing, nice shoes, and beautifies himself. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard a woman say that the perfect man is a Gay guy.

I wonder if that may not be due to the fact that gay men tend to be more empathetic than straight men, and don’t come across as treating the woman as a sex object?

kev7:

Men today don’t grow up learning how to be real men.

I don’t know if I want to touch that one!

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

deb1:

If you read books written before the middle part of the twentieth century, what immediately stricks you is the variety of types that were considered beautiful. Dickens seemed to prefer women a bit plump, while other authors like tall and slender women. For some the ideal heroine was blonde, for others she was dark. In his novel Armadale, Wilkie Collins’ beauty is red haired and over thirty five. (Collins was a contemporary of Dickens). It is also impressive the many different parts of a woman that are described in sensual terms. Hands, necks, hair, arms, even feet,…all are worthy of praise.

It seems that our conception of beauty has narrowed. Not all, but a lot of the actress that are considered beautiful have a similar look. If the actress starts out with a distinctive look-like Lindsey Lohan- they immediately change to look like everyone else. Thus, Lindsey no longer has freckles and has bleached her hair and lost too much weight.

Yes,it has narrowed down and thanks to looking at constant hollywood images people do not see people in there real beauty,and that is what bothers me.If they aren’t the ideal onthe outside you cut off the opportunity for a potential partner.What got me the worst about the origional posters post is the admittance that this one particular girl was great and treated him better than any other girl,BUT she was fat:nope: I commend him for his honesty,BUT maybe you will find out why this attitude bothers some so much.