The importance of physical attraction in a relationship

[kev7]

otm:

I wonder if that may not be due to the fact that gay men tend to be more empathetic than straight men, and don’t come across as treating the woman as a sex object? I don’t know if I want to touch that one!

Are you saying that Real men treat women as sex objects? If you think that then you don’t know anything about what it means to be a man. You are one of those people who trash everything that is masculine in an attempt to redefine it in a poor light.

Real men are not pigs and they don’t treat women like sex objects (even when they may act like sex objects).

The very fact that you don’t even know that tells me that I am right when I say that men don’t even learn what it means to be a man anymore.

It is also a myth that Real men are not empathetic toward women. Real men fight for their women and they are not cowards when expressing their love.

Any woman who would think that a Gay man has the qualities that she needs is courpted. When I find a woman who thinks that I end my interest in her. Such a woman doesn’t respect a man for being a man.

God created women to be feminine and he created men to be masculine. That is the natural order of things. Any attempt to blur that is evil.

 

[surfinpure]

Wow – I’ve only been gone a few hours and this thread has exploded! Looks like we’ve got some high emotion flying around, too. Apparently some old personal wounds have been reopened. I don’t think that’s what kev7 had in mind when he began the thread, though.

For me the bottom line is still this: no man (OR woman) should feel required to enter a relationship with a person whom he does not find attractive. If the man doesn’t like skinny women, he shouldn’t feel obligated to fall in love with one. If the woman doesn’t like large guys, she is not sinning to date only smaller ones.

There is a big difference between the natural personal preferences that God instilled in each of us and the warped standards that the media foists upon us. Still, I don’t believe that we are designed to be attracted to people who are severely unhealthy. Inner beauty can be there, and often times is in abundance, but if after discovering this inner beauty you still cannot have a procreative relationship with a person because their outer shell is extremely unattractive to you, then a meaningful *marital *union cannot occur.

It just cannot be. Attraction may come after getting to know a person, and it may not. It may be there in the beginning and fade over time. * But to start a marriage, attraction has to be there.*

 

[kev7]

CarolAnnSFO:

It isn’t always about weight, either – some of us are thin, but just not pretty. It happens.

I just hope that men do fall in love with their bride’s other qualities, because physical beauty doesn’t last. Wrinkles happen, so does sagging, and thick middles.

Ack, I’ve had enough of this thread for today. I’m going home, and hug my cats. They love me.

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Crazy Internet Junkie Society
****Carrier of the Angelic Sparkles Sprinkle Bag

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I can tell you that good men do fall in love with women for their other qualities. A good man doesn’t judge a woman only on how she looks.

The point I’m making is that I need to feel some level of physical attraction for a woman. I can only hope that I am not in a state of sin for being that way. If anyone thinks that I am then please say so. From what people have said so far I am not. I am being honest with how I feel. I also want to make it clear that I am not looking for a trophy. I am finding out the hard way that as a man I just can’t get over my need for at least some level of physical attraction. Even if I find the woman attractive for other reasons it just isn’t something that I can get over with.

If I had to give up my sense of physical attraction then it would be like cutting off an arm. It is part of who I am at my age and it is perfectly normal To be fair, I would want a woman to find me physically attractive as well. If I get old with that woman and we both look ugly at 60 that isn’t a problem. You have to understand that I want to be able to appreciate a woman for how she looks.

I also want to point out that I’m not asking for a woman to be perfect . She can have physical flaws. I am not perfect myself and I would understand if a woman didn’t find me attractive. I would just move on and trust in God that he will provide for me.

There is one other point I want to make. Most people who have been rejected in their life are amazing. Their hearts are more pure then those who are physically attractive and haven’t experienced much rejection. If you are one of those people then be happy that God has shaped your heart and made you a Briliant Gem. Those people who are physically attractive have to work much harder to become a prize in the eyes of God.

So there is no reason to be sad and hate God for how he made you.

In the Kingdom of God, those who are first will be last and those who are last will be first.

 

[kev7]

surf(name removed by moderator)ure:

For me the bottom line is still this: no man (OR woman) should feel required to enter a relationship with a person whom he does not find attractive. If the man doesn’t like skinny women, he shouldn’t feel obligated to fall in love with one. If the woman doesn’t like large guys, she is not sinning to date only smaller ones.

I agree with this, but I just think that you always have to be careful that God isn’t testing you.

I have faith in God and I know for a fact that there is a good woman out there for me. The question is do I have to change in some way before God lets that happen? Is he holding back his Gift until I do? I’ve come to the conclusion that it will be easy for me when the time is right (if God wants that for me).
.

 

[kev7]

Lisa4Catholics:

Yes of course, I guess you didn’t realize that all people who are obese do not eat extraordinary amounts of food.Thyroid,metabolism,diabetes can all interfere with weight.Also emotional problems whether with obesity or anorexia.I have read studies about obese women and a large percentage have been emotionally or sexually abused

I think you are overreacting.

I should tell you that the large girl I rejected told me not to worry about too much. She told me that she does have success finding guys. She didn’t like being rejected by me becuase she liked to me too much.

A large girl can still find love. I see it all the time. There are alot of men who are attracted to large girls. Don’t let the media and popular culture bring you down

 

[Lisa4Catholics]

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I can tell you that good men do fall in love with women for their other qualities. A good man doesn’t judge a woman only on how she looks.

The point I’m making is that I need to feel some level of physical attraction for a woman. I can only hope that I am not in a state of sin for being that way. If anyone thinks that I am then please say so. From what people have said so far I am not. I am being honest with how I feel. I also want to make it clear that I am not looking for a trophy. I am finding out the hard way that as a man I just can’t get over my need for at least some level of physical attraction. Even if I find the woman attractive for other reasons it just isn’t something that I can get over with.

If I had to give up my sense of physical attraction then it would be like cutting off an arm. It is part of who I am at my age and it is perfectly normal To be fair, I would want a woman to find me physically attractive as well. If I get old with that woman and we both look ugly at 60 that isn’t a problem. You have to understand that I want to be able to appreciate a woman for how she looks.

I also want to point out that I’m not asking for a woman to be perfect . She can have physical flaws. I am not perfect myself and I would understand if a woman didn’t find me attractive. I would just move on and trust in God that he will provide for me.

There is one other point I want to make. Most people who have been rejected in their life are amazing. Their hearts are more pure then those who are physically attractive and haven’t experienced much rejection. If you are one of those people then be happy that God has shaped your heart and made you a Briliant Gem. Those people who are physically attractive have to work much harder to become a prize in the eyes of God.

So there is no reason to be sad and hate God for how he made you.

In the Kingdom of God, those who are first will be last and those who are last will be first.

Kev I am sorry if I have upset you,my whole point is whether pretty or ugly,fat or thin when you looked with the eyes of your heart,the eyes in head rejected the very girls you gave such high praise for.That is why you started the thread, I don’t know if it is a sin or not I do think it is a shame that someone who sounds like a good person would be rejected based on looks.Nobody said they hate God but indeed it makes you wonder why humans that are not all destined to be priests or nuns would be such a good partner(in marriage) but is doomed for rejection because of looks.