The Quiet Epidemic of Lonely Catholics

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‘Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices’ - St Teresa of Avila
Personally, I wish I had more alone time to pray/meditate/grow spiritually. How blessed are those who live in monasteries who don’t have to deal with the noise of the world and some people always interrupting/criticizing/asking for something/pretending they care but with ulterior motives. Detachment from the world can be a blessing.
 
Dan_Defender said:
Detachment from the world can be a blessing.
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Sure…if that’s the way you choose to live. But if your “detachment from the world” is thrust upon you by circumstances beyond your control, it can be a real problem.
 
It is a matter of perspective. Some people suffer from being alone. Others suffer from being surrounded by people often. Each one bears his own cross. Offer your suffering to God, he will comfort you.
 
We had a good priest a few years ago, he would say good morning at the start of mass. After we said good morning back to him, he said, now say good morning to each other, and make an effort after mass to talk to the person next to you.

Very simple, but It made a difference.
 
How sad!

Our priests are out every day visiting hospitals (that seems to take up so much time!) and then they do make as many home shut in visits as they can. We also have EMHCs who visit shut-ins weekly, nursing homes weekly, hospitals daily.
 
Correct. I am an introvert and I like it that the only interaction with folk I have at mass is a smile, ‘hello’ and the sign of peace. I don’t ‘do’ coffee mornings potlucks etc etc and if some random person starts asking me lots about myself because I am a new face I just hate it. I got invited to a non- donination bible study with a friend and within one evening the hostess was calling me a ‘new part of the family’ and doing the whole raising the hands doing prayer and goi ng ‘yes lord yes lord’ over the top of the person praying this is waaay too much for me and I didn’t go back. I miss no part of this aspect of the Protestant church also I’m like a reserved northern English girl it’s just NO haha.
 
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Thank you @Dan_Defender for sticking up for us anti social award types even if that wasn’t your intention 😉
 
These threads pop up from time to time, either about loneliness in general, or a single person not connecting with the marrieds, sometimes I’ve seen marrieds complain they can’t find any “couple-friends”.

I’m shy and it costs me effort to reach out. And relationships grow with time and effort.

Despite the TV shows that depict a friend group who always has time for each other and welcomes newbies into the group with minimal friction beyond a few whacky hijinks, real relationships need a lot of time to grow.
And time compatibility (ie you have the same weekends off as your friends—I have a dear friend I haven’t seen in two years because of this issue :confused: thank goodness for text and email)
And the ability to take a risk (you might get hurt or disappointed)

I guess I’m just rambling, but a lonely person who wants to change their situation will simply have to do a bit of heavy lifting to make that change happen.

(Further rambling, that’s why I like CAF because I can get my Catholic-Geek on here 🙂❤️)
 
0Scarlett_nidiyilii said:
I guess I’m just rambling, but a lonely person who wants to change their situation will simply have to do a bit of heavy lifting to make that change happen.
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Amen!!!

And, it can be scary thing to put yourself out there, but that kind of effort is required.
 
I don’t consider myself antisocial but try to limit my social contact. And yes group prayer is overrated better pray alone away from the crowds like Jesus.
 
ChuckB said:
I found myself sitting next to one of the priests and I mentioned this to him. While he agreed that such an arrangement was “nice,” he clearly didn’t regard that as part of his job. According to him, his job is to “bring the sacraments to the people.” The rest is just fluff, I guess.
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How big is your parish? How many parishioners in your parish and maybe in another parish does your priest have in his flock?
The parishes in which I spend the most time have somewhere between 500 and 2000 parishioners per priest. If he were to be visiting all the isolated and alone people and trying to get help for them, it would take up most of his time.
I know that nursing homes and assisted living facilities usually have a priest or several who make regular rounds, sometimes helped out by sisters or lay volunteers, and they make a point of spending some time with people to pray and so forth. Also, deacons and EMHCs who bring the Eucharist to shut-ins often spend some time with them beyond just administering Holy Communion. (Unfortunately the one assigned to my mother tried to get too “helpful” with things my mom didn’t want her helping with and we ended up having to ask her to not come any more.)

I am sure that priest would love to clone himself so he’d have time to spend with all the elderly people, all the isolated people, all the young people wanting direction, and anybody else who just wants to hang out and chat about Jesus, but it is not humanly possible for these guys to do everything expected of them. The Protestant and even Eastern Catholic congregations I’ve seen are usually smaller than Catholic parishes, and the Protestant ministers don’t seem to have all the sacramental duties that priests have.
 
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That’s sad. I’m very much an introvert and I can only think of four people in the country I can call my friend. But I do know many people at my parish. I’ve been a Catholic two years this coming Easter. Since I retired five years ago I decided to be active in my parish. I’ve joined the Hospitality Ministry, became a Lector, and recently a Eucharistic Minister. I’ve joined Knights of Columbus and the Holy Name Society. I attend daily mass and a weekly Chaplet of Divine Mercy group. If I did nothing but attend mass, I wouldn’t know anyone that wasn’t in or teaching RCIA when I was in it.
 
Well that is nice but we don’t have any of those opportunities with the exception of eurharistic minister. Considering I have young children I cannot easily fullfill that role at this point of my life.
 
Two possibilities:

The parents are there to shop, so they are letting their kids run around for a spell;

or, the weather is less than desirable for outdoor play.

ICXC NIKA
 
One good example of this is Pope Emeritus Benedict the XVI.

He is an introverted academic more at home with his books unlike his predecessor, Pope John Paul. For an introvert to be in a position which demands extroversion is exhausting. I was not surprised when he stepped down.
 
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Maybe I’m an oddball. Since moving away from home at 24 I haven’t really had friends. I have never considered myself lonely, even when there was no girlfriend or wife in the picture.

I’m around people at work. Even here though one of the biggest draws for me to being an EMT is that I have one other person that I work with and not many people. Yes, I have to work with nurses when we go to a hospital or facility. I have to talk to family of patients, true. However, my partner is who I am with for my shifts.

At home, I have my girlfriend when she comes over or I go over there. I also have my children.

I have just never really sought out companionship beyond a significant other since my childhood. I don’t see myself as lonely.
 
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lonegreywolf20 said:
At home, I have my girlfriend when she comes over or I go over there. I also have my children.
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Many people with children are pretty much limited to their children, any significant other, and the people they see at work. They simply don’t have time to keep up friendships with other people, unless maybe it’s another family with children so the kids can play together or the families can swap babysitting duties. Any time outside work is pretty much devoted to the family at home.

In any event, if you have a girlfriend and children, then you have more people in your life than a lot of folks have.
 
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What’s a “liberal” in this context (as opposed to a Catholic)?
The United States was founded on the liberal principles of the enlightenment…and admittedly Holy Mother Church long took a very dim view of many of those principles, but today there are many areas where Catholic social doctrine and “liberal principles” align… depends how you define the term.
 
Not sure I explained myself well.

When there was no wife or girlfriend in the picture and I only got my kids for a couple days a week, I still didn’t feel lonely. I was certainly by myself, when I wasn’t at work and didn’t have the kids, but there was no loneliness felt by me.
 
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