The subtle lie: Women must be powerful but not fruitful

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Sarcelle said:
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HopkinsReb:
Women’s profiles on dating sites so often demanded a guy with a car, a six-figure income, at least 6’ tall, etc.
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Really.
I don’t go on dating sites so I wouldn’t know.
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Yeah, it’s a pretty common thing.

There’s a line from a female student at UNC in the book I referenced in that post where she says something along the lines of “60% of the student body is female, so there’s already only two men to every three women. Then only half or so of the men are mature enough for a relationship, so you’re down to one man for every three women.”
 
Aquinas11 said:
another stunning phrase. ask any Mom and she’ll 100% disagree with that. You’re paid in ways that can never be quantified in mere monetary terms
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And you know perfectly well what LumineDei was saying.
 
I was in a STEM field at University (physics and maths) so there were more men than women.
 
Sarcelle said:
I was in a STEM field at University (physics and maths) so there were more men than women.
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Me, too. There are absolutely universities in which it is the case, but in general I think it’s currently about 55%-60% female on average at our universities and women are outperforming men in overall degrees and graduate degrees. More women than men are now becoming physicians. None of this would be a problem except that women tend to be far less willing than men to marry someone with a lower income or less education, so the dating pool is super screwed up.
 
Sarcelle said:
I was in a STEM field at University (physics and maths) so there were more men than women.
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I know a young man who is a PhD in Physics…a real genius. When he was selecting a college for his undergraduate education, he visited an extremely prestigious engineering school on the West Coast where the student body is roughly 75% male.

He learned that for the women in the student body seeking a husband, the slogan was, "“The odds are good…but the goods are odd.”
 
I went to a wedding in May, both spouses are devout Catholics. They met at the local state University Newman Center. She is 25 (homeschooled to college) and an NICU nurse at the local Children’s hospital. He is a Ph.d student in Geography at the University and slightly older. I know for a fact she was not asking for a sports car and six figure salary.
 
Glennon_P said:
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Sarcelle:
I was in a STEM field at University (physics and maths) so there were more men than women.
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I know a young man who is a PhD in Physics…a real genius. When he was selecting a college for his undergraduate education, he visited an extremely prestigious engineering school on the West Coast where the student body is roughly 75% male.

He learned that for the women in the student body seeking a husband, the slogan was, "“The odds are good…but the goods are odd.”
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And if you look at the dating culture at those schools, it’s WAY healthier. In male-heavy dating markets, in which women are the scarce resource, there are way more long-term relationships. In female-heavy dating markets, there are far few long-term relationships and much more casual sex.

My cousin got that line when she was being recruited to play volleyball at Georgia Tech.
joyfulandactive said:
I went to a wedding in May, both spouses are devout Catholics. They met at the local state University Newman Center. She is 25 (homeschooled to college) and an NICU nurse at the local Children’s hospital. He is a Ph.d student in Geography at the University and slightly older. I know for a fact she was not asking for a sports car and six figure salary.
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When discussing demographic trends, I speak in generalities, not universalities. My wife was not looking for a sports car and a six-figure salary, either, else we wouldn’t be married. Though neither of those things would have hurt my case…
 
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I’ve heard that too. 😊

I remember quoting that here in this forum a while ago and someone got offended and took me to task for it.
 
Are the women asking for a sports car and a six figure salary devout Catholics?

I really doubt it.

Now if women are expected to be stay at home moms and be open to life can you really fault them for wanting men with prospects of having a good stable job?
 
I just got banned.

@Salibi gets my strawberries as well.
 
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I think something the church could always take for granted to a certain extent: traditional marriage and all it’s social supports has been massively undermined in the last 75 years or so. The vocation that most people are called to now has the least preparation. Often the preparation comes really too late - once a partner has been chosen and a date booked. It should be all the way through childhood and young adulthood. Encouraging a strong community and from that strong marriages and families needs to be the focus of any community hoping to grow and thrive. Individualism and alternative lifestyles distracts resources and energy from where the life and future of the church will be: the vocation of marriage. Those religious communities that are growing form their young people in successful relationships with the expectation of marriage and children. Which of course is not everyone’s vocation, but it is the majority.
 
joyfulandactive said:
I find it interesting that the Orthodox Jewish communities and traditional Mormons who still have 7+ plus children share many characteristics. They marry young, with the expectation they will bear many children. Their tight knit religious communities provide a great deal of material help when needed. The Orthodox jews have ministries where a young woman can come and choose a wedding dress from a large selection of donated dresses. Many parts of the wedding: food, tables and chairs etc. will be donated. Then when children come along there are “stores” of donated clothes and baby items etc. etc. so a young family on a low income can still survive and thrive.

The Mormon have “supermarkets” which are up market food banks. With a letter from the bishop they can visit as often as they need (non Mormons can also access these resources).

Salt Lake City offers glimpse of socialism, Mormon-style | Utah | The Guardian
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I agree. Of course, any positive mentions of the LDS around here tend to not go so well…
 
It seems as Catholics we have moved too far away from the communal aspects of our faith that we did so well. Catholic families are indistinguishable from any other American family. A practicing Catholic with a large family is counter cultural even within Catholic circles.
 
I have to say, going full circle to some of the comments earlier on this thread the built environment doesn’t help. Affordable housing is now more likely in the suburbs and churches and stores are not in walking distance there, so community doesn’t happen in a natural organic way that it does when everything the community needs is close by. In fact Orthodox Jews have to be able to walk to synagogue on the Sabbath and so that’s why they choose to live close together. I think there is a lot to be said for human scale and walkability. Unfortunately in my city any walkable neighborhoods are extremely expensive.
 
joyfulandactive said:
I have to say, going full circle to some of the comments earlier on this thread the built environment doesn’t help. Affordable housing is now more likely in the suburbs and churches and stores are not in walking distance there, so community doesn’t happen in a natural organic way that it does when everything the community needs is close by. In fact Orthodox Jews have to be able to walk to synagogue on the Sabbath and so that’s why they choose to live close together. I think there is a lot to be said for human scale and walkability. Unfortunately in my city any walkable neighborhoods are extremely expensive.
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Completely agree again. I live in the DC area, where you could easily be looking at $3500 per month to rent a 2-bedroom apartment in the city. Move into the cheaper 'burbs and you either have to have a car and sit in some of the country’s worst commuter traffic or you have to rely on the dysfunctional public transit system.
 
Even if she meant not paid monetarily, that’s false , the parent who stays home and raises kids is paid (monetarily) by parent who is bread winner in form of covering rent, expenses, etc
 
Aquinas11 said:
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gracepoole:
non-working mothers is a really recent invention
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Not sure what “non-working mothers” means
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I think it’s fairly obvious in the context of the conversation that includes Lumine’s posts and mine.
Aquinas11 said:
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gracepoole:
Most women of the past worked from home in some capacity as their family’s needs demanded it.
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Yes it takes work to raise kids
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Obviously. Yet AGAIN, we were speaking of the financial necessities facing families.

I’m not trying to be snarky by asking this but are you purposely being obtuse here?
 
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