Thoughts on tipping

[Polak]

So tipping, this is a quite widely accepted practice in society that I am not a fan of.

In particular because it seems now, tipping somebody isn’t something extra you give them if you think they have gone ‘above and beyond’ and provided you with excellent service, it’s something that is just expected of you, and while you have a right not to do it, if you don’t, you are looked at as being impolite in some way, or heartless. There also now seem to be standard amounts you are supposed to tip. Apparently 10% at the least.

I also never quite got why people in some professions are supposed to get tips (e.g. waiters, hotel staff, delivery people etc.) but others are not. I mean, why don’t those who take out the trash, or cashiers, get tips for the service they give? Why do only some services get tips? Who decides this?

 

[Convert3]

In the US, servers at restaurants are tipped to make up for the lower than minimum wage they make per hour. Other services are often tipped for their good service, and you’re correct, it is becoming more widespread. I personally don’t have a problem with it because it’s tough to make a good living these days, as things are expensive. My wife and I are fortunate and can afford it. If you can’t, there’s no requirement to tip.

 

[Xystus]

There also now seem to be standard amounts you are supposed to tip. Apparently 10% at the least.

10% is pretty low in my opinion. I tip 20% minimum, unless i was treated extremely poorly and the waitstaff were absolute Jerks. Also in my opinion, if you cant afford the tip then you cant afford to eat out in a restaurant, get take out.

 

[Polak]

It isn’t about being able to afford it or not for me. I can afford it, I just don’t like how it has become something you are expected to do. So any meal you go and have now, you have to add on at least 10% (or even 20% according to Xystys).

I am surprised to hear you say that servers get lower than the minimum wage in the US. Isn’t that illegal?

Also in my opinion, if you cant afford the tip then you cant afford to eat out in a restaurant, get take out.

See I don’t agree with this attitude at all.

 

[Xystus]

I am surprised to hear you say that servers get lower than the minimum wage in the US. Isn’t that illegal?

the employer has to make up the difference if hourly wage plus tips come out to less than minimum wage.

So any meal you go and have now, you have to add on at least 10% (or even 20% according to Xystys).

if tipping went away your meal price would increase because the employer would have to raise prices to cover the higher hourly wage.

 

[Pattylt]

I’m not overly bothered y tipping but I also understand the objections. From my point of view, I tip food servers for the underpaid work they do and I raise or lower my tip according to the service rendered.

Tipping my hairdresser, on the other hand, is to show my appreciation for her ability and to assure it continues! Tips to delivery people is for when they have to deliver heavy items and the help they give to place it or set it up…I don’t tip small package deliveries!

In all these cases, I can afford it and it’s the only way I can show appreciation beyond just saying thank you. If these people were paid better, I wouldn’t feel near as obligated to tip. My hairdresser is the only well paid person I still tip and would continue to tip as she is outstanding not just in her ability but also the extra time and patience she shows me. And for poor service, I don’t tip. It’s the only way I can show my displeasure.

 

[Polak]

the employer has to make up the difference if hourly wage plus tips come out to less than minimum wage.

So employers are allowed to pay servers less than minimum wage in the US because customers are expected to make it up with tips? That seems a bit of an odd law.

if tipping went away your meal price would increase because the employer would have to raise prices to cover the higher hourly wage.

Well having seen some of the prices they charge in some of these restaurants (and I am not talking about michelin star ones), that would be quite shocking. They are high enough as it is.

But anyway, yes, personally I choose not to eat out generally, unless I am with somebody who really wants to. I just think that they rip you off badly in some of these places. In many restaurants for example, if you order a lemonade, they will just bring you a can of lemonade and a cup, and poor some in to the cup. They will charge like 4 or 5 dollars/pounds/euros for this. That’s when I think, I could have just bought a 2 litre bottle of lemonade for one third of that price. If I order lemonade at a restaurant and I know it is going to be pricier than just buying a can in a shop, they could at least make it themselves fresh or do something with it, to make me feel like I got something a bit different. I know some places do this, but many don’t.

From my point of view, I tip food servers for the underpaid work they do and I raise or lower my tip according to the service rendered.

Now that makes a bit more sense to me. But as Xystys said, it seems you are expected to pay a standard 20% tip these days. I think many servers know that and so they don’t really don’t do much else other than take your order and bring it to you these days (at least in my experience). I would not class that as great service, and certainly not deserving of a 20% tip. If the service is very good, that is different of course.

Another odd occurance is how some of these places seem to have one server who shows you to your table, a different one that brings the food and then yet another one who asks if everything is okay and if you enjoyed it. In this situation, who are we actually leaving the tip for? I have been told that in these places, they just take the total sum of tips in that day and split it equally between the servers. Doesn’t seem fair to me. What if one of them did a much better job that day than another? Why should they receive the same?

 

[Xystus]

Another odd occurance is how some of these places seem to have one server who shows you to your table,

the hostess

a different one that brings the food

the waiter

then yet another one who asks if everything is okay and if you enjoyed it

Typically a manager in my experience.

who are we actually leaving the tip for? I have been told that in these places, they just take the total sum of tips in that day and split it equally between the servers.

I depends on the place but the “bus boy” may get a cut (i did when i worked as one) and bartenders get a cut too, again depending on the place. so the answer to “who are we actually leaving the tip for?”… is possibly All Of Them. Leave a Tip.

 

[Pattylt]

Another odd occurance is how some of these places seem to have one server who shows you to your table, a different one that brings the food and then yet another one who asks if everything is okay and if you enjoyed it. In this situation, who are we actually leaving the tip for? I have been told that in these places, they just take the total sum of tips in that day and split it equally between the servers. Doesn’t seem fair to me. What if one of them did a much better job that day than another? Why should they receive the same?

I have problems with this as well. I waited tables years ago and we didn’t have this system of multiple people waiting on tables…just a singl waiter/waitress for a table, start to finish including paying of the bill. What we DID do was share some of our tips with the cooks and dishwashers that helped us. It helped ensure that our meals came quickly and tables were cleared and clean. They knew who would share the bounty!

Tipping amounts also used to vary with time of day. (Why that should matter is beyond me) . Typical was 10% at breakfast, 15% at lunch and 20% for dinners. I easily made much more in tips than wages.

There is a restaurant in Tampa FL where it’s one waiter per table only and they only make tips…no wage. I wouldn’t swear to it but it’s what I was told. This was a five star establishment and a meal was easily over $100.00 each plus drinks. And they were tipped very high and had a waiting list for employment! I will say it’s the best service I’ve ever had. The waiter remains near your table throughout the meal. My stepsister wanted a Pepsi and they served only Coke so our waiter ran across the street and bought a Pepsi…even though the stepsister pleaded that it wasn’t necessary! No! You prefer Pepsi, you shall have Pepsi! (His actual words)! I’m not sure how this would work in anything other than a luxury type business, though.

The problem with tipping really boils down to…this is how it’s always been done so we just continue to do it!

 

[JulianN]

So any meal you go and have now, you have to add on at least 10%

Adding 10% would be a message that the service wasn’t very good.

 

[Polak]

Adding 10% would be a message that the service wasn’t very good.

If only you realised how crazy that sounds to me. Not leaving a tip would be my message that the service wasn’t very good. Anything more than that, is a tip, however large I choose to make it, for good service.

@Xystus I’ve been in a restaurant where one guy took the order and served it. He wasn’t seen again after that. I wanted a refill on my drink and asked another server who was nearby, who brought it to me and later returned to ask if the food was good. Some time after that, another different, this time female server, asked if dessert was wanted. It made no sense to me.

 

[JulianN]

If only you realised how crazy that sounds to me. Not leaving a tip would be my message that the service wasn’t very good. Anything more than that, is a tip, however large I choose to make it, for good service.

I’m guessing you are not in the U.S. A 10% tip in a restaurant is an indication of substandard service – or that you are cheap. Diners understand this is part of the cost of eating out – servers are paid a very low wage with the expectation that the bulk of their income will be from tips.

You may not like the system, which I understand. Restaurants could certainly eliminate tipping and add 25% to the cost of a meal, which is what some have tried, albeit not too successfully. However, it is the system – and if you go out to eat, and refuse to tip, or give a very low tip, you are depriving a server of income.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

The standard tip in USA has crept up over the years. 10 percent was standard up to about maybe 20 years ago when it started going to 15 and now they just expect 20. I still tip 15 percent most of the time. I also almost never patronize any restaurant where the tip is expected - I like to get either fast food or takeout food and that way I don’t need to worry about a tip unless it’s a food delivery and I have to tip the driver on top of paying a “delivery fee” for the food…in most cases I will drive and pick it up before I go through that.

I was never too jazzed about eating in restaurants anyway my whole life, and the expectation of a 20 percent tip every time made me even less jazzed.

 

[Convert3]

If only you realised how crazy that sounds to me. Not leaving a tip would be my message that the service wasn’t very good

Many who haven’t worked in the food industry don’t realize that some problems in restaurants aren’t caused by the server, yet they are the ones who suffer if they get stiffed.

 

[The_Old_Maid]

Many who haven’t worked in the food industry don’t realize that some problems in restaurants aren’t caused by the server, yet they are the ones who suffer if they get stiffed.

Verily. The federal government expects waitstaff to pay taxes on the tip income they SHOULD have received according to a federal formula.

SundaysAreTheWorst.com can elucidate. (The site crashes frequently, so it’s also archived on the Wayback Machine. Twenty-plus pages of believers-behaving-badly.

 

[Polak]

Well I didn’t realise that in the US servers/wait staff get paid below minimum wage, so rely on the tips to make any type of living. As far as I am aware it isn’t like that anywhere in Europe. A minimum wage is a minimum wage for a reason, it’s the minimum you must get paid. That’s why here, a 20% tip would be quite a lot, and even considered very generous.

In some places, and apparently this is very common in France, they just add the tip as a service charge, so you don’t need to leave anything (unless you want to leave more).

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Many who haven’t worked in the food industry don’t realize that some problems in restaurants aren’t caused by the server, yet they are the ones who suffer if they get stiffed.

Rude servers or those who neglect customers (perhaps certain categories of customers) in favor of other customers are not among the “problems in restaurants not caused by the server”. And there are quite a few rude and neglectful servers out there.

As for Europe, most countries in Europe simply add a service charge to the bill, or pay the wait staff enough that you don’t need to be leaving a tip for them in addition to paying the bill. Restaurant food in Europe also costs more as a result.

 

[Convert3]

Rude servers or those who neglect customers (perhaps certain categories of customers) in favor of other customers are not among the “problems in restaurants not caused by the server”. And there are quite a few rude and neglectful servers out there.

There are also many rude customers that give servers a hard time or are disrespectful. If they are in a bad mood there’s usually a reason. They are people after all. Sometimes you have to look past some things.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

Well, this is why I prefer to just not eat in restaurants where I need to be “waited on”. I don’t want to have to play guessing games as to why the wait staff are being rude to me. I feel like my duty in that situation is to be kind in return, as in treat them kindly, don’t snap at them or yell, but to go beyond that and actually reward their rudeness with 20 percent tip doesn’t make economic sense. It just encourages poor behavior and it is unfair to those who actually make an effort to do a good job.

I’m much happier just ordering from an automated kiosk or a drive-through window so I can skip the whole tipping controversy. Interestingly, many of the people who work the drive-through windows knock themselves out being friendly and kind, and if there was an option to tip them an extra dollar (because my whole meal is usually somewhere between 3 and 6 dollars there) I’d gladly give it to them. I have to settle for just complimenting the best ones and sometimes sending a good feedback about them to a corporate website.

 

[7_Sorrows]

I notice many drive thrus and take outs now have tip jars also. Even restaurants where you walk up to order your food and then they call your name or number and you walk up to pick up the tray (not speaking of McD’s or Burger King or KFC, more
like family restaurants). Are we tipping the cooks now and the people who work
the register? And minimum wage went up in my state. They are making $12/hr
now.